Chapter 149 "The World Comes First (Part 1)"
When you can cry out in pain, that pain isn't really pain. There's a kind of pain that can make you so bad you can't even scream. When you can cry, that's not really sadness. There's a kind of sadness that can't even make you cry.
I suddenly remembered the strange old lady from the day Baozi was born.
She said it was excruciating pain.
Now I finally understand... what excruciating pain is...
It's truly... an excruciating pain...
That day, holding my newborn son, we made a pact.
First, you must grow up healthy and strong...
Second, you must grow up healthy...
Third, you must grow up healthy and strong...
I silently recited the words in my mind, took his little hand, and gently pressed my fingerprint on it.
Baozi...you broke your promise again.
I silently dug a hole and buried my own flesh and blood.
I brought you into this world, and now I bury you with my own hands.
But I am still alone.
All alone.
I knelt on the ground and dug a hole with both hands. I dug for a long time, from sunrise to sunset, I was very focused on digging a hole.
It felt as if my own heart had been ripped out...
It's empty...
That cheerful and affectionate child... my Baozi... is really gone.
"If there truly are gods and Buddhas in heaven, may they take my place, protect you, and stay with you... They don't know how wonderful you are; heaven has wronged you... You are the child who most deserves happiness..."
Hua Yingxiong's words still echoed in my ears.
I looked at the scars all over my hands and chuckled softly. There are so many people in the world, how could gods and Buddhas possibly keep up with everyone...
Zhou Yu stood behind me the whole time, without saying a word.
The coffin was being carried; it was a tiny wooden coffin, so small…
My heart... started to ache.
I held onto the coffin tightly, wanting to see it one more time... my steamed bun.
Inside the coffin, Baozi lay alone, dressed in brand-new clothes, as if he were asleep.
I remember when I was five years old, on New Year's Eve, he was also wearing the same new clothes, sleeping next to me, and he refused to take off those new clothes even when he went to sleep.
I looked at him; my little dumpling had its eyes closed, motionless. I held his hand tightly, suddenly unwilling to let go… The grave was so cold, so dark…
Will the steamed bun be scared?
Suddenly, Baozi's sleeve twitched slightly. I stared wide-eyed at Baozi in disbelief. "Baozi? Baozi?"
I shouted repeatedly.
"What's wrong?" Zhou Yu asked, rushing forward when he saw my expression.
"He's moving! He's moving! The steamed bun is moving! He's not dead! He's not dead!" I shouted, as if something inside me had suddenly come alive.
Zhou Yu pulled me up. "The doctor examined him; he's already dead."
I shook my head, afraid he wouldn't believe me. "No, no, he's not dead! You don't know, when he was born, everyone thought he was dead, but when I called him, he opened his eyes and looked at me! He's not dead! I'm his mother, and when I called him, he opened his eyes!" I turned to look at Baozi, my eyes filled with overwhelming joy. "Baozi, Baozi, wake up, please? Mommy begs you, wake up! Wake up... Mommy knows you won't leave Mommy alone... Baozi..."
His sleeve moved, and a fluffy little animal popped out.
...It's Baozi's pet, Zhizhi.
I was stunned.
Zhou Yu came to pull me away.
I stared blankly for a long time, then suddenly burst into laughter, louder and louder, "Hahaha...hahaha..."
Heavens, what kind of joke are you playing on me?
Everything went black, and I lost consciousness.
Baozi, are you lonely all alone underground?
Do you want your mom to come with you?
In the darkness, someone took my hand and whispered something in my ear.
"mother……"
Mom? Is Baozi calling me?
I quickly pulled myself out of the darkness and opened my eyes.
Before me stood a handsome young man with delicate features and fair skin.
It's not a steamed bun...
"mother."
Seeing the disappointment in my eyes, the boy spoke again, calling out softly.
I stared at him, stunned.
“I will stay by your side, Mother.” The boy looked at me and slowly rested his head on my knees.
I could feel him trembling slightly; he seemed a little nervous.
"Yuanzhi, if I die, could you take care of my mother for me?"
“We’ve sworn brotherhood, so my mother is your mother. Therefore, if I die, you must take care of my mother…”
“My mother is actually a coward. She’s most afraid of being abandoned, so I’m worried that if I die, she’ll hate me to death… We’re sworn sisters, so my mother is your mother…”
That day, Baozi's words rang in my ears.
I held Zhou Buyi in my arms, and an overwhelming pain washed over me.
...The tears just wouldn't stop, no matter what I did.
My ears seemed to have gone deaf; I couldn't hear anything clearly except for Zhou Buyi's cry of "Mother," which was crystal clear.
Incredibly clear...
Because I know... that's Baozi's wish, Baozi's voice...
That child, upon reading the Records of the Three Kingdoms, must have already foreseen his own fate... That's why he tried so hard to keep Zhou Buyi by his side, and that's why he had that child stay with me in his place...
The next morning, Zhou Yu and Lu Su came to say goodbye.
"Cao Cao is about to advance into Jiangdong, and the lord urgently summons him."
I nodded without saying anything.
After seeing Zhou Yu off, Rouge didn't go with him but stayed by my side. "Madam, shall we go back to the Spring Breeze Pavilion in Danyang?"
I shook my head. "No, let's go back to Xuchang."
Rouge was slightly surprised, "Why?"
Sitting before the bronze mirror, I smiled faintly. Why? I wanted to avenge my son, to collect Hua Yingxiong's body, and to let Cao Cao know why his son had died!
After running away for more than a decade, this time, I'm going back on my own.
Looking at the faint lines at the corners of my eyes in the bronze mirror, I realized for the first time that I was getting old.
“Mother, I’ll go back with you.” Yuanzhi said, standing beside me. His eyes held a calmness and intelligence beyond his years.
I nodded and smiled.
On my way back to Xuchang, as I passed the city wall, I stared blankly at a certain point.
That's the place where Hua Yingxiong was once hanged...
Suddenly, my eyes widened, and there it was...
Hua Yingxiong's body was shockingly displayed on the city wall!
"Stop the car!" I yelled.
Zhou Buyi quickly reined in the horses.
I jumped off the carriage and looked up at Hua Yingxiong, who was hanging high on the city wall. It was July, and under the scorching sun, flies and insects were biting at his body, which was beginning to decompose.
I widened my eyes, forced the stinging sensation back into my eyes, and then climbed up the city wall using both hands and feet.
"Look at that woman..."
"My God, has he gone mad? How dare he climb up the city wall like that..."
Perhaps because I was still recovering, I was momentarily weak and slipped, causing a collective gasp from below the city gate.
Suddenly, I seemed to hear a soft sigh, a sigh that sounded like reluctance and helplessness...
Hua Yingxiong?
I froze, turned around and looked out. The sky was a clear blue, cloudless, and the sun was blazing. Below the city gate, a large crowd of people had gathered, all looking up at my astonishing act.
I must have misheard. Hua Yingxiong was hanging on that city wall, how could he be sighing in my ear...?
So I continued climbing relentlessly...
Climbing and climbing... Climbing and climbing...
My hand finally reached Hua Yingxiong's body. His body was already decaying, and under the scorching sun, it emitted a foul stench.
A pang of sadness welled up in my heart.
Why is even death so unbearable?
"Who dares to be so insolent!" Finally, a guard spotted me, grabbed a halberd, and rushed up the city wall to stop me.
"I'm going to take him away." I gritted my teeth and sniffed.
"How dare you! This is the Prime Minister's order!" the guard shouted.
The Prime Minister? Cao Cao? He's back?
Why did he leave Hua Yingxiong's body exposed outside the city?
"I want to take him away!"
Hua Yingxiong died because of me. He was so vain. If he knew that his body was being exposed after his death... he would definitely haunt me even as a ghost... I blinked, my eyes stinging. That vain guy, how could I just watch his flesh melt under the scorching sun, how could I just watch him turn into a skeleton...
He always prided himself on being a handsome idol, how could I let him hang alone on the city wall, attracting disgusted looks from everyone who passed by...
"This man is wicked and deserves to die!" the guard shouted. "You unruly commoner, if you don't leave immediately, we will take you as an accomplice and arrest you as well!"
Accomplices? I sneered. What heinous crime did Hua Yingxiong commit that he had to be exposed after death?
"The person is dead, don't you know that the dead deserve respect? There are gods watching over us, aren't you afraid of being struck by lightning!"
Just as the guard was about to sneer, a sudden clap of thunder sounded from the ground.
Everyone was shocked, staring at me with wide eyes as if they had seen a ghost.
I was slightly taken aback. When did I become so eloquent, speaking with such uncanny accuracy?
What a rare coincidence! I quickly pulled Hua Yingxiong up the city wall, took a knife and cut the ropes binding his hands. The ropes had already cut his wrists, and the blackened flesh revealed the stark white bone beneath.
"You audacious scoundrel, don't be so presumptuous!" the guard shouted angrily as he saw the man about to be taken away.
I turned around, bent down, grabbed Hua Yingxiong's arms, and carried him on my back. I stood up with some difficulty, glared at him, and said, "There are gods watching over us! Get out of my way!"
With a loud "boom," a thunderclap suddenly resounded in the clear blue sky.
I was dumbfounded. Uh... I was just testing if it worked, and it actually... Could this be a spell?
All the guards automatically lined up in two rows, making way for each other, no longer daring to block the way. Although power is terrifying, no one dares to go against the will of Heaven, right?
Although I was also completely baffled, I quickly took the opportunity to carry Hua Yingxiong away.
Because Hua Yingxiong was a whole head taller than me, it was very difficult for me to carry him. I held his arms and crossed them in front of my chest, but his legs were still dragging on the ground.
After descending the city wall, as they walked along the road, everyone covered their mouths and noses.
Rouge quickly took a robe and stepped forward to cover Hua Yingxiong with it.
"Madam Pei, please get in the carriage."
I shook my head. "I'll carry him on my back."
I will carry him all the way to the Prime Minister's residence. I will let the whole of Xuchang know that Hua Yingxiong is innocent.
Carrying him on my back, I was drenched in sweat. With my head down, I gritted my teeth and walked forward step by step.
Then, someone blocked my way.
I slowly raised my head and saw that figure in bright purple.
"The lady has returned." Cao Cao looked at me and smiled.
Cao Pi followed behind him.
I froze slightly, my whole body trembling uncontrollably. My eyes were fixed on a certain point, and I saw the root of all the nightmares: a boy in a blue robe!
Cao Pi!
"I want to know, what crime did he commit?" I asked slowly, looking at Cao Cao.
“This man’s real name is Hua Tuo, but he has been hiding and dares not show his real name to the public. Moreover, he boasts that his medical skills are superb and has the audacity to say that he wants to perform craniotomy on the Prime Minister. Isn’t this crime tantamount to assassination?” Cao Pi spoke from behind Cao Cao.
Brain surgery? I gritted my teeth. It was Cao Pi who tortured him to death.
"Cao Pi, don't talk nonsense, it was clearly you..."
Before I could finish speaking, Cao Pi threw a scroll he was holding onto the ground. The scroll was open, and on it was a picture of a person undergoing brain surgery.
我忽然想起曾经跟华英雄提过曹操的头风病，华英雄笑问我如此关心曹操，是不是果然爱上这个古人了，当时我还狠狠揍了他一顿，打得他抱头鼠窜，后来他说曹操头风已成顽疾，针灸之术治标不治本，若要根治，只能进行开颅手术。我以为他只是说说而已，想不到他竟然记在心上，并且仔细研究过方案。
What I didn't expect was that... this surgical plan actually fell into Cao Pi's hands, becoming a fabricated charge that made Hua Yingxiong bear the crime of assassination even in death.
“I mentioned your headaches to him. This is a treatment method he researched. In my hometown, it’s a perfectly normal surgery. Believe it or not.” I said, looking at Cao Cao.
"A proper burial," Cao Cao said, his thin lips slightly parted.
Does this mean he trusts me?
A servant came forward, helped Hua Yingxiong off my back, and carried him away.
Looking at Cao Cao, I suddenly thought of Baozi. Just as I was about to speak, an indescribable pain welled up in my heart. Coupled with the anger that had just struck me, I collapsed to the ground.
Cao Cao stepped forward, embraced me, and lifted me up in his arms.
"Let's go home." He hugged me and leaped onto his horse.
I fell into a deep sleep in his arms, smelling his familiar scent.
I haven't had a proper rest in a long, long time. I can't sleep because as soon as I close my eyes, all I see is Baozi... cute Baozi, cunning Baozi, mischievous Baozi, greedy Baozi, clever Baozi, spoiled Baozi...
It's all his fault...
It's all his fault...
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