Chapter 313 He was unwilling, and also reluctant.
“Don’t listen to what Uncle Li is saying. Think about the two children, Ah Shu. The children can live without a father, but they cannot live without a mother.”
"Fu Siyan, I saved Jin Que."
Fu Siyan was taken aback.
"Nine years ago, on that night, I met you, and I met Jin Que. I saved him. If it weren't for me, perhaps Ke Yuhang wouldn't have died. Fu Siyan, I always thought this was a calamity you brought, until Jin Que told me that it was because of my ignorant kindness that night that a devil was created..."
Fu Siyan's eyes were red as he stared at her. "It's not like that. Don't listen to Jin Que, and don't listen to Uncle Li. A-Shu, you are just yourself, a mother of two children. You must go back, go back to your children..."
“There’s no going back.” Shen Qingshu shook her head and smiled. “Fu Siyan, Jin Que’s wedding must go ahead as scheduled. Only if Jin Que dies, only if the plan succeeds, will our child be safe. Do you understand?”
Fu Siyan's breathing became labored.
How could he not understand?
But how could he bear to watch Shen Qingshu take such a risk?
"Fu Siyan, do you still remember the question you asked me on the day of the explosion?"
Fu Siyan looked at her, his heart aching unbearably.
"You ask me if I still resent you?"
Shen Qingshu looked into his eyes, her eyebrows curving upwards, her eyes filled with relief, "I don't resent you anymore."
Fu Siyan's breath hitched, and tears fell.
"It's almost time, you have to go."
Fu Siyan shook his head, "Ah Shu, I'm begging you, come with me."
Shen Qingshu shook her head gently, her voice soft, as if comforting Xiao Nian'an.
“Fu Siyan, you know very well that I can’t leave.”
Fu Siyan was stunned.
“Fu Siyan, listen carefully. Since you’ve decided to take this path, you must continue even if you have to crawl on your knees. Your decision will affect the sacrifices and efforts of countless compatriots. Uncle Li said that I was an unexpected surprise in your plan, but now it seems that I was also a pleasant surprise.”
Shen Qingshu pursed her lips, lowered her eyes and sighed, "If I really can't go back this time, I think my child will be proud of me."
Fu Siyan clenched his fists, his thin lips trembling slightly.
Shen Qingshu raised her head, and before she knew it, tears had welled up in her eyes.
Looking at the man silently weeping in front of her, she suddenly felt a strong urge to go up and hug him.
It has nothing to do with love; I just want to hug this man who has been walking alone against the tide in the darkness.
Thinking this way, she did it.
The lingerie fell to the ground, and Shen Qingshu took a step forward, opening her arms to hug the man.
He was too tall; she could only barely wrap her arms around his waist.
Like holding little Nian'an, gently and softly.
“Fu Siyan, there used to be too much information gap between our worlds. You had too many things you couldn’t do, while I always focused on my own emotional needs. Until today, I’ve come to understand that this is probably what it means to be helpless. But I’m not like you. I don’t have that much grand love. I’m doing this only for my child…”
Fu Siyan was held in her arms, his tall body trembling slightly.
The man, nearly 1.9 meters tall, wept uncontrollably.
A woman's gentle embrace shattered his strength.
How could he not want to have a wife and children?
Doesn't he also want a happy life?
Doesn't he also long for an ordinary and carefree life?
But... how did it turn out like this?
He was unwilling to accept it, and also reluctant to do so.
He was unwilling to accept that he had met Shen Qingshu, who had captured his heart, on his journey down this path, yet he was unable to give her lasting stability and a commitment.
He couldn't bear to see himself treat Shen Qingshu so unfairly, and he couldn't bear to see her still willing to embrace and understand him even now;
He couldn't bear to see his two children never truly experience a complete and happy family life...
Too much resentment, too much reluctance, ultimately leaving me with a lingering sense of unease.
"Qingshu, are you feeling better?"
Jiang Ruomi's urging voice came from outside.
Shen Qingshu opened her eyes and withdrew her hand.
“You should go.” Shen Qingshu took a step back, tilting her chin slightly as she looked at him. “Fu Siyan, Xiao Anning has good musical talent. If she becomes interested in music in the future, you can ask my godmother to find her a mentor. Xiao Nian’an likes Lego and Rubik’s Cube. He’s quick-witted and can concentrate. If he’s willing, we can nurture him…”
“Ah Shu.” Fu Siyan interrupted Shen Qingshu, his tearful eyes fixed on him, “Don’t say these things, don’t give your last words.”
Shen Qingshu smiled helplessly, "It's just in case."
"There won't be any 'what ifs'." Fu Siyan cupped her face in his hands, lowered his head and kissed her forehead. "I respect your choice, and please trust me and the organization. No matter what, protect yourself and wait for us to bring you home!"
Shen Qingshu was slightly taken aback, as Jiang Ruomi was banging on the door behind her.
"Qingshu, are you alright? Did you faint?"
Jiang Ruomi's voice sounded somewhat urgent; Guan Yue must have become suspicious!
Fu Siyan put on a mask, took one last look at Shen Qingshu, turned around and took two big strides up to the attic.
The footsteps thumped quickly.
Shen Qingshu waited for a while before turning around and opening the door.
Jiang Ruomi, two shop assistants, and Guan Yue were all outside the door.
Shen Qingshu swayed slightly.
"Qingshu!" Jiang Ruomi immediately stepped forward to support her. "You look terrible. Are you feeling unwell again?"
As fate would have it, Shen Qingshu had only intended to act to deceive Guan Yue, but unexpectedly, as she lowered her head, a drop of bright red blood fell—
One drop, two drops...
Bright red blood gushed wildly from her nose.
"Qingshu!" Jiang Ruomi exclaimed in shock, "What's wrong with you?"
The shop assistant quickly grabbed a few tissues to help Shen Qingshu plug her nose.
But the blood flowed very quickly, and the tissue was soaked through in the blink of an eye.
Guan Yue's expression changed drastically. "This is bad! Miss Shen's illness has flared up again. Quickly take her back to Mr. Jin!"
Shen Qingshu's vision went black, and she knew nothing more.
Guan Yue picked up the unconscious Shen Qingshu and walked outside.
Jiang Ruomi took the tissue the shop assistant handed her and covered Shen Qingshu's nose...
…
Shen Qingshu's recent illness kept Jin Que busy for a whole week.
During an acute episode of leukemia, traditional Chinese medicine cannot suppress the bleeding. Left with no other option, Jin Que had to combine traditional Chinese and Western medicine to treat Shen Qingshu.
Shen Qingshu was in a coma for a week, and she visibly lost weight.
Meanwhile, Xiao Anning, who was far away in Yuncheng, China, seemed to feel her mother's pain. She had nightmares every night and woke up crying every night.
Every night, Wen Jingxi would carry the little girl around the room. The little girl would cry herself to sleep and then fall asleep, but would wake up crying again as soon as he put her on the bed.
There was nothing Wen Jingxi could do but hold her until dawn broke, when the little girl finally fell into a deep sleep, allowing Wen Jingxi to lie down and doze off for a while.
In just one week, Wen Jingxi and Xiao Anning, one big and one small, both had big panda eyes.
Wen Jingxi was really losing his composure.
While the two children were playing in the yard, Wen Jingxi called Song Lanyin into the house for questioning.
"Song Lanyin, tell me, how is A-Shu doing now?" Wen Jingxi looked at Song Lanyin with a solemn expression.
"I'm not really sure either." Song Lanyin looked at him. In just one week, this man had developed panda eyes. Fortunately, he was handsome and could withstand such torment.
Taking care of kids is truly a crazy experience for anyone!
Wen Jingxi stepped forward and grabbed Song Lanyin's arm, his frustration finally erupting. "You don't know? You're just afraid to tell me, aren't you? Song Lanyin, I'm warning you, tell me everything you know, or I'll hit women!"
"Fight?" Song Lanyin lazily lifted her eyelids, looked at the man in front of her, and smiled disdainfully. "Fighting is fine, but let's agree on the stakes first. If you lose, you'll have to pay me back yourself."
Wen Jingxi: "..."
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