Chapter 36
When Lin Langyi asked that question, she was unsure of herself.
Yuan Chuyu was clearly angry, which is why he refused to talk to anyone all night.
The man leaning against the car door turned his face slightly, one leg bent and the other casually propped forward, holding an old-fashioned leather notebook in his hand hanging by his side.
Lin Langyi slowly drove the car up to him, only to find that the back door was not closed properly, the car window was wide open, and there were candles and incense wrapped in oil paper on the seat, with a lighter lying next to it.
She paused for a moment, then remembered that there was a cemetery next to Laoshan Mountain.
Before he could figure out how to start the conversation, Yuan Chuyu offered a way out, saying, "I wanted to come and pay my respects. Today is the anniversary of her death, but it's already so late."
There's no refusal to communicate! That's a good sign.
Lin Langyi secretly breathed a sigh of relief, but then belatedly felt immense sorrow.
She knew that the memorial service Yuan Chuyu mentioned was for his birth mother, and that the fact that his adoptive mother's birthday was also the anniversary of his birth mother's death was truly a cruel reality. Especially since one second he was navigating a banquet intertwined with wealth and power, and the next second the symphony stopped, the curtain fell, and he was still wearing that expensive suit to the grave—how could it not feel like a chilling emptiness after someone had left?
She asked, "Do you want to go to Wan'an Cemetery?"
Yuan Chuyu stroked the leather cover. The notebook was bulging, and the pages inside were slightly swollen, clearly indicating that it was frequently flipped through and written on.
He shook his head: "The cemetery closes at five o'clock in the evening, so you can't get in... I'm just used to it, so I still came to take a look."
Lin Langyi glanced at his face. Yuan Chuyu's cheeks were slightly flushed, and his eyelashes were lowered, indicating that he had indeed drunk quite a bit.
Perhaps for this reason, he was still quite talkative at the moment, and his attitude towards her was not as evasive as when he was sober tonight. Lin Langyi hoped that he had already put Cheng Yanjin's outrageous words behind him.
Yuan Chuyu flipped through the leather notebook in his hand and said, "I used to come in the morning, and the store opens at six o'clock, just as it's getting light. Today, the flight arrived in City A in the afternoon, and I was busy until the evening, and then..."
He took a long breath, tilted his head slightly, smiled, and said nothing more.
Lin Langyi replied without hesitation, "I have a way to get you in. I've climbed Laoshan countless times, and I know every little path. I can go around to the cemetery."
Yuan Chuyu raised his head slightly to look at her. The alcohol made his eyes misty. As he focused on making out the person in front of him, his slightly tipsy eyes lost their usual unapproachability and instead showed a hint of drowsy affection.
He said softly, "It's already evening."
Lin Langyi smiled brightly: "What does it matter? If it's Mom, nothing will happen tonight."
“Mom lives in the cemetery, so the cemetery isn’t scary anymore.”
Yuan Chuyu stared at her intently, his gaze so gentle, as gentle as a lake about to be swallowed.
He raised his hand as if to touch her, but he was still holding the leather-bound book in his hand. In the end, he only gently bumped the back of her hand with the spine of the book, like a small animal affectionately nodding its head to her palm.
He said very softly, "Lin Langyi, then take me away, okay?"
This sentence was blown away by the wind, like a wisp of mist, which would vanish in the slightest carelessness.
But Lin Langyi caught it.
She was grateful for surviving the night's ordeal and naturally wouldn't refuse his friendly gesture. Upon hearing this, her eyes crinkled, revealing dimples at the corners of her lips, and she readily agreed.
She pulled both cars over to the side of the road, took the bag of sacrificial items from the back seat, and handed it to Yuan Chuyu. He was quiet and obedient at the moment, obediently taking all the items by himself, and then following behind her step by step.
Lin Langyi asked, "Did you just call a designated driver?"
"Um."
"Huh? Where is he? You've arrived at your destination now, but what if you can't get a taxi or a designated driver by Yingshan Lake? You should pay double the price to make him wait for you."
"……Um."
Lin Langyi turned her head and glanced at him. Hearing the noise, he looked up at her with a misty expression, then took another step up and obediently followed her.
This guy is really drunk.
Lin Langyi muttered to herself, "You're not going to make me take you back again, are you? I need to collect my payment."
"Hmm..." After responding softly, he actually reached into his pocket to reach for his phone, ready to transfer money to her.
"Hey, hey, just kidding." In just over ten seconds, Lin Langyi realized that the person in front of her was already drunk. She quickly grabbed his hand, and the two hands were pressed tightly together through the thin fabric of his trousers.
She stood on the same step as him. Yuan Chuyu's hand stopped moving after she touched it. He slowly raised his head, his wisps of hair partially obscuring his eyes, his dark pupils gazing intently at her.
Lin Langyi felt relieved after pressing him down. Just as she was about to pull her hand back, he suddenly reacted strongly, pulling his hand out of his pocket and grabbing her hand, completely enveloping her.
He used too much force, and his judgment was completely clouded by alcohol. When he grabbed her, he didn't stop and pulled her towards him.
Lin Langyi stumbled forward two steps before she could react, grabbing at his shirt in an attempt to steady herself. He quickly moved his other hand, which was holding a book, and gently pulled her into the narrow space between his chest and his arm, as if he were embracing her.
Her arm pressed against his silver jacquard tie without any gap, the brief friction feeling like being licked by a snake's tongue, cool and slippery.
“I won’t take Cheng Yanjin’s words seriously.” He suddenly spoke, as if assuring her, “He’s talking nonsense.”
As he spoke, his arms remained firmly wrapped around her, his breath enveloping her like a fine net. Lin Langyi struggled to break free but failed, accidentally knocking the book from his hands in the process.
The book landed on the bluestone slab with a "thud," its pages fluttering backward in the wind. He paused for a moment, then finally let go, squatted down, and picked the book up.
Lin Langyi retreated three steps up the stairs, and from a distance, she saw him still squatting in the same spot. She said in a low voice, "It has nothing to do with you. Don't worry, I'm not angry with you."
"I'm glad you're not angry," she stammered, rubbing her arm where the tie had just slid across her skin with her thumb. "Cheng Yanjin is mentally ill, but his illness shouldn't implicate me. Our cooperation should remain as it is, okay?"
Yuan Chuyu picked up the book, stood up, checked the pages, dusted the cover with his long fingers, and nodded.
The bluestone steps are only a short section; to get to the cemetery, you have to go around a long, deserted forest path where dense bushes are packed together, and every step you take makes a crisp "crunch, crunch" sound from the leaves.
Lin Langyi used her phone for light and looked back several times. Yuan Chuyu was following her at a distance, his steps occasionally a little unsteady.
She thought that he was just a little slow to react because he was drunk, and he was just trying to support her.
Lin Langyi's only concern was relieved because Yuan Chuyu didn't take Cheng Yanjin's words seriously, and she didn't think much of anything else.
She saw him stagger and grab onto the tree trunk again, his head tilting so low he was about to hit it, and she finally couldn't bear to watch any longer.
She took a few steps back and held up her phone flashlight to illuminate him: "Watch where you're going, be careful where you step, can you still walk?"
Yuan Chuyu struggled to lift his head. Faint marks from rough tree bark were left on his brow bone, extending towards his temples and finally converging with the corners of his eyes.
"able."
"Fine, just grab me." Lin Langyi sighed and reached out her hand.
He stared at her outstretched hand, gave a gentle smile, and carefully placed the leather-bound book into her palm, gesturing for each of them to hold one side.
She couldn't help but laugh, completely relieved, and led him forward.
The night was clear and dust-free, the moonlight as silvery as silver, casting a gentle glow through the swaying treetops. Lin Langyi, holding his hand through a book, asked, "What's in the book?"
"It's an excerpt."
"Um?"
He looked up at the bright moonlight: "I feel as if I'm at the bottom of a pond, walking from one moon to another."①
Lin Langyi exclaimed "Wow!" and looked back at him. Moonlight filtering through the leaves slid across her nose and across her eyes. "You're actually someone who likes to copy down poems and passages."
“When I was little, my mom would read to me… well, I didn’t quite understand it back then, and I didn’t understand why she liked these things so much.”
Lin Langyi stepped over a small clump of holly and answered in a clear voice, "Today, I finally understand. The books she read weren't about finding a code of conduct. She just wanted to escape, to escape to a farther place, to drastically sever her connection with daily life, and breathe the air of freedom."②
Yuan Chuyu paused, his steps faltering, and stood frozen in place.
But Lin Langyi didn't stop. She suddenly pulled him hard, almost snatching the book from his hand, and he was completely drawn forward two steps by her.
In an instant, the light poured down like water, immersing him from head to toe in the soft moonlight.
He was completely led out of the dark, gloomy forest.
While he was still stunned, Lin Langyi took a step to the side and then jumped down without saying a word.
Yuan Chuyu's eyelids twitched, and for a moment his mind went blank. He subconsciously stretched out his arm to grab it, but his fingertips found nothing.
His heart pounded, and a thin layer of sweat broke out on his back. In his haste, he quickly stepped forward and leaned down to look. He saw her standing steadily below, waving her hand at him: "We're here! We're here! Jump down!"
His breathing was still rapid as he stared intently at her, at her slightly raised chin, at the shimmering starlight reflected in her pupils, and at her outstretched hand.
He didn't move for a long time.
"I won't go with you anymore. You probably need some alone time." She patted him on the shoulder after he jumped down, then stayed put.
Yuan Chuyu went to the tomb alone.
He sat down on the ground in front of the grave, casually flipping the book to some unknown page without glancing at the dense text. He simply rested his palms loosely on the pages, like a devout believer placing their hands on a Bible, quietly gazing at this fleeting place by candlelight.
In the past, he would read excerpts to his mother at her grave in the early morning when it was bright, with plenty of light. But today, he could only read with the help of the faint moonlight and the dim glow of the electronic candle.
But Chu Yu didn't actually need it.
He said, "I'm here to read you the poem."
At first, it was just ordinary copying; he read Gide's "The Narrow Gate," Shakespeare's "Sonnets," and Camus's Notebooks.
His voice was clear and calm, and because he had been drinking, his breath fluctuated slightly, like a ribbon moistened by moisture, elegant and mellow.
He never had to look at the pages once; he copied each passage by hand, word by word, and after flipping through it many times, he could recite it completely and correctly from memory.
But gradually, the words that appeared in his mind changed, and those paragraphs came out of his mouth so naturally.
He felt that he was probably really drunk.
Alcohol and the night amplify all emotions.
With the calmest face and the calmest tone, he said, one by one, "Because all the detours led me to your side."
After pausing for three or four seconds, Yuan Chuyu braced himself against the smooth tombstone with his hands, his back hunching over deeply as if his spine had been removed.
Looking down, he saw the flickering candlelight, its light reflected in his pupils. He had to speak in hushed tones, as if afraid that even the slightest breath would extinguish the flame.
“His approach to her was like approaching a fire, making one feel warmer and warmer,” his voice finally trembled, the tone breaking into a jumbled mess, “But one cannot love a fire.”
"I didn't really have a choice. The moment I met you, fate struck, leaving me no room to choose for even a second."⑤
After finishing this passage, Yuan Chuyu completely lowered his body, burying his head in his arms. His breathing was disordered, and his voice was choked with sobs. The alcohol made his voice hoarse as he spoke intermittently, "I came here today to tell you that I've fallen in love, fallen in love..."
He couldn't utter the remaining half of his sentence. After several breaths, a hint of vulnerability still betrayed him: "This is the first time... I really, really... I'm even willing to do—"
He gripped the stone tightly, his knuckles protruding, his fingers turning white from the effort. The book slid off his knee and fell to the ground with a "thud," but he didn't care.
"When he said that, I almost couldn't help but agree..."
"That was such a nasty thing to say. He defined the relationship so bluntly that it made me feel like a shameful joke."
Even so, all night I kept thinking, why can't I? Why can't I?
The sound of a pebble rolling down came from not far away; it was probably Lin Langyi kicking a pebble around out of boredom.
Startled by the commotion, Yuan Chuyu trembled as if waking from a dream. He closed his eyes tightly, gripped the bridge of his nose with his right hand, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down repeatedly. He gritted his teeth and refused to say anything more.
He feared the wind would carry the secret far away.
After a few seconds of silence, Yuan Chuyu straightened up again, breathing heavily like a drowning person emerging from the water.
"It's nothing, nothing serious," his voice was still hoarse, but his expression had relaxed and he was slowly calming down.
He gently focused his gaze on the flickering light on the candle, cupped his hand, and bent down to blow out the flame.
Darkness returned, swallowing his face into shadow. He said, "I know what I'm doing, and I'm willing."
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