Chapter 344 I Will Never Forgive You
"But... the emperor couldn't find out if someone deliberately pushed Prince Ning into trouble. You want..."
"I don't need to check, I know who it is. I came to your house just to ask you to help me enter the palace, that's all. I don't need to listen to your lectures, and I won't change my mind. Just tell me, will you help me or not?"
Prince Ning died, and Minister Qin was extremely sad. Seeing his sister like this, he couldn't bear to refuse, but the imperial physician had already said that the emperor could not stand any stimulation.
Given Concubine Shu's current condition, if she entered the palace to see the Emperor, or did something to avenge Prince Ning, what would happen then?
"Okay, I'll help you, but before that you have to listen to me. Stay at home and don't go out. You don't want to be discovered and taken back to the Taimiao, do you?"
Although Concubine Shu was excited, she was not so easily fooled. Facing Minister Qin's obvious attitude of wanting to calm her down before making any plans, she asked coldly, "When?"
"Well, I'm telling you the truth. Because of Prince Ning's incident, the Emperor was so grief-stricken that he passed out during the morning court session the day before yesterday. Although he has regained consciousness, he is still unclear and unable to get out of bed."
"So, even if you want to enter the palace, you have to wait until the emperor can tell who you are before entering, what do you think?"
"Haha," Concubine Shu sneered, "Are you afraid that I'll piss that old man off to death?"
Minister Qin glared at him, "Don't be rude to the Emperor!"
Concubine Qin Shu shook her head and gave a bitter smile of disappointment. "Sir Shangshu, do you know what the most ridiculous and tragic thing in your life is?"
"Other people become officials for a purpose, always wanting to climb the ladder. But you become an official just to be loyal to the emperor. In your eyes, the emperor's orders are everything. You are as loyal as a dog."
"You are so loyal that you would give everything you have without expecting anything in return as long as the emperor is pleased. Don't you think that your so-called loyalty is cruel to your own family?"
"Whether they are courtiers or concubines, they are all the same to the emperor. It's all about balancing interests, and you, you idiot, have been talking about loyalty and feelings from beginning to end!"
"Your loyalty caused me to miss the chance to become queen, caused me to lose my child, and caused me to end up like this today!"
"Do you think that if you have love and loyalty, the emperor will love and trust you in the same way? Bullshit! He won't, because he is the emperor. He has no heart. Everything is just a tool for him to control his subjects."
"You are such a loyal guard dog that you don't even need a leash. You are so stupid, yet you still want to harm me. What gives you the right to do that?"
"If you weren't so pedantic, if you hadn't told me that the status of a concubine in the harem wasn't as important as the status in the emperor's heart, how could I have been humiliated and suffered a life worse than death in the harem? How could I have ended up like this? How could it be!"
"You've selflessly dedicated everything you have to the most selfish and heartless person in the world. Why do you expect me to do the same?"
"I listened to you and didn't fight or compete, but I ended up losing my love, my status, my freedom, and even my son. This is what happened to me, and it's all your fault! You ruined me!"
"Hahahahahahahaha... The funniest thing is, until now, what you care about in your heart is not whether my son is wronged or whether I am suffering. The first thing you think about is whether I will piss the emperor off to death!"
Concubine Shu was almost insane. Sometimes she looked ferocious, sometimes she laughed, and sometimes she looked like she wanted to pick up a knife and kill someone.
But after she finished her hysterical roar, she just stared coldly at Minister Qin and said word by word, "I will never, ever forgive you!"
Madam Qin tremblingly took Concubine Shu to the backyard to rest. Qin Yuelu stood at the door of the living room, looking at his father's figure with his back to the ground and his face raised. He opened his mouth but said nothing.
In the end, he turned around and left silently. He felt that what his father needed most now was not comfort or advice from anyone, but quietness.
In Qin Yuelin's impression, Shangshu Qin has always been a good father. He is very kind to every child and has a deep love for his mother.
Although all the daughters-in-law and sons-in-law were carefully selected, their starting point was the happiness of the children. He never thought of using his children's marriage to pave the way for himself, and never thought of sacrificing the happiness of any of them for the well-being of the whole family.
He did the same to Concubine Shu and Prince Ning.
He agreed to let his sister marry the emperor for her happiness, not to let her become the queen to bring honor to the family and lead the Qin family to a hundred years of glory.
That's why he said that her position in the emperor's heart is more important than that in the harem.
Therefore, as the uncle of Prince Ning, he had never even once thought of supporting Prince Ning in his fight for power.
But today, his sister condemned him in tears, blaming him for destroying everything she had. Only today did he begin to reflect on himself. Was he really wrong?
From the perspective of Concubine Shu and Prince Ning, he was indeed wrong. His mistake was that he did not understand the rules of survival in the royal family and did not understand that the emperor was also helpless.
As a woman in the harem, what the emperor's love brought to Concubine Shu the most was not happiness or wealth, but endless conspiracies and intrigues, and an irreconcilable blood feud.
The emperor loves her, and this is his original sin, and the biggest reason why all the women in the harem want to cut her and her children into pieces.
How could she not climb up? How could she not fight and compete? How could she not do anything? Was she just waiting to die?
Shufei's love for the emperor and her fantasy of being firmly protected by the man who loved her deeply were all shattered when her first child died in the womb.
The Emperor couldn't protect her, couldn't protect their child, even if he wanted to!
He even chose to turn a blind eye and say that there was 'insufficient evidence' because the person who did the attack had a powerful family and high status.
At that time, Concubine Shu understood that if she wanted to gain a foothold in the harem, she must have a status that others dare not bully or step on, and she must have the support of her family!
As for the so-called love...she has to survive first before she is qualified to discuss the issue of love or not, right?
But at that most critical moment, in her most painful and difficult time, where was her family? Where were her loved ones?
Her own brother turned a blind eye to everything she had suffered and only told her to be patient and to believe that the emperor would give her justice.
The emperor did give her justice. This justice was that the woman who killed her child became the queen, and the murderer's son became the high and mighty prince!
Who in this world could know how much blood was shed in Concubine Shu’s heart when she knelt on the ground, kowtowed and shouted “Long Live the Queen” three times on the day when the Queen ascended the throne!
And her self-deceiving good brother kept saying that not helping her was for her own good, keeping his distance from her and ignoring her, and that everything was for her own good. He was afraid that the emperor would suspect that her love for him was not pure enough and that she had ulterior motives.
She did have some plans. All she wanted was a sense of stability, a guarantee of survival, and the hope that her children could be born and grow up safely. Was she wrong?
She hated the Qin family, hated her brother, hated him for watching her die without saving her under the pretext of doing good for her. She hated him so much!
…
On the third day of poisoning, the voice in Qin Qingyao's head saying "I like Murong Ce and I hate Dugu Yu" became stronger and stronger, so strong that she herself began to doubt why.
Dugu Yu had already forgotten how many times he was infected by the Five Puppet Showers before he began to realize that his actions were not intentional, but were manipulated by someone.
Then, after countless times, he was able to distinguish between reality and the lies that the Ghost Saint told him after poisoning him.
But Qin Qingyao realized it on the third day after she was poisoned for the second time.
When she met Murong Ce and Dugu Yu, she looked confused as if she didn't know them. She didn't know how to face them, and she didn't know who she liked.
Then, in endless entanglement and pain, she began to speak incoherently, sometimes asking Murong Ce why he was in her house, and sometimes asking Dugu Yu whether the camellia had bloomed.
Sometimes she happily threw herself into Murong Ce's arms, wishing she could hold him forever. Sometimes she searched the whole yard for Dugu Yu, but when she found him, she told him to get out and said he was annoying.
"What's wrong with me? Honey, my head hurts so much, it hurts so much, I really... I would rather die..."
Qin Qingyao's almost crazy appearance scared everyone. Only Dugu Yu knew that she was beginning to distinguish reality and that was why she was losing consciousness.
She only knew that something was wrong, but she didn't know what the right thing was.
The order Lin Xiafeng gave her was not to ask her to do things, but to ask her to express her feelings, to fall in love with someone, or to hate someone. Even the Ghost Saint had never tried this kind of order.
Deep down in her heart, Qin Qingyao had only ever loved Dugu Yu. When that absurd order increasingly dominated her behavior and went against her true feelings, how could she not doubt and resist?
The result of trying to resist is pain that is worse than death.
Even Dugu Yu didn't know what to do.
Seeing Qin Qingyao like this, he would rather she was like she was two days ago, pestering Murong Ce and liking Murong Ce, would rather she continued to glare at him and quarrel with him, would rather she slap him a hundred more times than to see her suffer like this.
Bai Zhi looked at the princess who had fainted after being acupunctured by the prince and was still twitching in pain, and burst into tears.
How could such a vile poison exist in this world, and why could someone as vicious as Lin Xiafeng exist? She deserved to die a thousand times!
Dugu Yu hugged Qin Qingyao, his cheek pressed tightly against her forehead. In just three days, he had lost a lot of weight, with dark circles under his eyes and bloodshot eyes.
He had never felt so exhausted and helpless before.
He really wanted to suffer for Qin Qingyao, even if it was ten thousand times more painful than this!
…
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