Chapter 1033 Don’t Pity Me
"My hand is fine." Bian Zhi said softly, his voice trembling a little.
Zhou Suihuai was so angry!
"OK!"
"It's okay!" That's the best!
Zhou Suihuai didn't want to be argued with anymore and just stood up. When he stood up, the chair behind him made a loud clattering sound, and Bian Zhi's heart trembled when he heard it.
Zhou Suihuai's tone was heavy and gloomy. He was about to leave. He was really angry.
Bian Zhi hurriedly grabbed the person who was about to leave with his head covered, and hooked his hand, softly, his eyes red from anxiety, "Hand, it's really okay."
Zhou Suihuai looked at her coldly without answering, but it was obvious that he was not listening to her either.
Whoever wants to listen to this nonsense can listen!
With this attitude, Bian Zhi's temper softened even more. She was really afraid that he would leave. "You, you sit down."
Bian Zhi pulled him back to sit, and Zhou Suihuai was pulled to sit in his seat, but his eyes did not avoid him at all, and he had an attitude as if to say, if you don't explain clearly today, this matter will not be over.
Bian Zhi pursed her lips, lowered her head, and stood beside Zhou Suihuai, looking like a child who had made a mistake. She said softly, "It's really okay."
Afraid that Zhou Suihuai was getting angry, she simply unbuttoned her pajamas and pulled the clothes forward to cover her entire body, leaving only one arm exposed.
Zhou Suihuai raised his eyes.
His eyes swept up and down the slender arm, very carefully, not missing a single part. It was clean and so tender that even the capillaries were invisible, and it didn't look like it had been injured.
Zhou Suihuai frowned.
In front of him, Bian Zhi clenched his fist automatically and said, "Look, my hand is really fine."
Zhou Suihuai's brows were still furrowed.
Bian Zhi curled up her fingers somewhat uncomfortably, quickly put on the loose clothes, and buttoned them up. The whole process was a bit hurried, and Zhou Suihuai always felt that something was a bit strange.
But I couldn't find any clues for the time being.
There was no way Bian Zhi would let him find out the clues. As long as she didn't want anyone to find out, no one could find out.
Doctors are the most meticulous in what they do, even when someone is watching them.
"My hand is fine," Zhou Suihuai said, but he wasn't so easily fooled. "Then what happened?"
"Don't lie to me. Are you taking me for a fool?"
Bian Zhi pursed her lips and sat down on the chair opposite Zhou Suihuai. The distance was a little close, her slender legs touched his, her knees against his knees, the posture was a little intimate.
This is so rare.
Bian Zhi didn't want to ruin the atmosphere, so she spoke softly and gently, "I didn't take you for a fool."
She always sits very politely, and she still does so now. She holds Zhou Suihuai's hand tenderly, unwilling to lie, and tells half of the truth while keeping the other half.
He took Zhou Suihuai's hand and put it close to his heart, "Here, it's hurt."
Upon hearing this, Zhou Suihuai looked at Bian Zhi intently.
"I'm a doctor. Facing helpless patients, I feel very uncomfortable, especially those around me. So, I have a bit of a stress reaction." In the warm air-conditioned room, Bian Zhi's fingers were a little cold. When he spoke, he was earnest and sincere. "It took a long time to recover. I tried to see patients in the meantime, but the effect was-"
Bian Zhi paused.
For a Chinese medicine doctor who used to be almost certain of his diagnosis of any patient, it is a huge joke that he cannot feel the pulse now.
Her face was a little pale, but she didn't pause and continued, "It's working, but not as well as before. I feel a little uncomfortable and frustrated. Over time, every time someone comes to see me, I feel a sense of homesickness. I'm trying my best, but you can't be impatient in this situation."
Bian Zhi was afraid that Zhou Suihuai would worry, so he took the initiative to explain, "It's getting a little better."
Bian Zhi downplayed the whole process, but his lips still turned pale uncontrollably, and his voice trembled slightly, so slightly that Bian Zhi himself didn't even notice it.
But in this calmness, Zhou Suihuai's back gradually tensed up, because he knew too well how calm and self-controlled Bian Zhi was.
She is professional because she is a doctor, because she has been exposed to both Chinese and Western medicine, because she has been on the operating table, and because all the efforts she has made in the medical profession have made her a calm and rational medical practitioner.
How could a simple sentence like "Because I was unable to save the people around me, this led to an emergency response?"
Is the reaction so big that it triggers an emergency response?
Zhou Suihuai had questions in his mind, but he knew that he couldn't ask any more questions.
Bian Zhi's whole body was tense, and her forehead was covered with a layer of cold sweat that she didn't even know about. She was as alert as a small animal shivering in the corner, which was unbearable for people to watch.
Her voice was trembling and she held his hand tightly, always afraid that he would leave.
Zhou Suihuai looked at her deeply, and without asking further questions, he said, "How long has it been?"
He could clearly feel that after asking this question, Bian Zhi breathed a sigh of relief, the tension in his body dissipated a little, and he could even force a smile on the corners of his mouth.
But this smile was hasty and awkward.
"Ah, it's been a while. I've been trying to overcome it."
Zhou Suihuai looked at her and asked again, "Why don't you say it?"
"Don't you trust me?"
Bian Zhi immediately shook his head, "No, how could it be?"
Zhou Suihuai stared at her. He wanted an answer to this question.
Bian Zhi felt Zhou Suihuai's determination.
She sighed.
"I... don't dare."
Bian Zhi's voice was very soft, so low that it couldn't be heard in the empty room. Bian Zhi said, "It's my fault. It's all my fault. If I hadn't met you in North America last time, I wouldn't have dared to come back."
"On the one hand, I feel that I am not well and I dare not see you. On the other hand, I am also afraid that you will ignore me, that you have someone else around you, and that I am afraid of disturbing your life."
They are all afraid.
When I left, I never thought I would be able to come back. I was too decisive and didn't leave myself a way out.
"But you're back, aren't you?" Zhou Suihuai said.
"Yes," Bian Zhi smiled sheepishly, "Then... I can't help it, right? I'm a little greedy. I want to see you and hug you every day. I don't want to... give you to someone else. So I'll indulge myself a little more selfishly."
"But that's all. I wouldn't dare say more."
"If you're angry, I can comfort you and stay close to you. Anyway, I can do whatever I can to make you happy, but I can't say I'm hurt. As soon as I say it, other things will be mixed into my feelings."
"Regret is wrapped in heartache, and heartache is mixed with unwillingness. These will make a person unable to distinguish whether it is love, heartache, or sympathy. I don't want you to know this, and I don't want these to tug at your heart."
"I hope that your love for me and your hatred for me will be pure. Don't feel sorry for me out of sympathy, or think that just because I'm your child's mother, that's it. This is me."
"I really want you, but I won't do that, not in this life."
"With me, your true thoughts always take precedence over my wishes."
Bian Zhi looked into Zhou Suihuai's eyes, the corners of his mouth curled up, and a smile finally appeared in his eyes. His voice was still very light and soft, but with a bit of heartbreaking pleading, "So, even if I was forgiven so easily, don't pity me. If you are still angry with me, I will continue to coax you, okay?"
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