Yuri hesitated for the entire morning before taking action. Anyone faced with an unknown turning point in fate would inevitably be in a dilemma.
He repeatedly rubbed the slightly bent blade of the knife in his hand with his fingers until a hint of red appeared on his palm due to careless operation. Finally, the man finally made up his mind and put the knife he was used to back into his pocket.
The person reflected in the mirror looked strange.
He couldn't remember when time had stopped in this body. His uncontrollable, cancer-like regenerative abilities not only left him with a body that couldn't withstand any injury, but also kept him looking like a man in his twenties. He even had to cover it up with a beard and hair to avoid being mistaken for a monster.
But Yuri knew that he was no longer young. He made the mistakes of all middle-aged people who bowed to fate and began to hesitate and waver for fear of making mistakes.
At twelve o'clock noon, when the sun was at its brightest in the capital, he stood in front of the door of an apartment building, raised his hand and rang the doorbell.
Yuri originally thought that it would be Garcia who would open the door.
A tall Beta, clearly more capable than the doctor, opened the door from the inside. This man made Yuri instinctively wary. His aloof demeanor and the scrutinizing look in his red eyes suggested a rational and unapproachable nature. Furthermore, his appearance struck Yuri as vaguely familiar, though he couldn't place where he'd seen him before.
"Mr. Ulysses Valen?" the man inside said. "Garcia and I have mentioned you. Please come in."
Yuri walked in quietly.
However, when he passed by the gray-haired man, the other man suddenly raised an arm to stop him: "Garcia shouldn't have called a killer."
“…I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His resistance was easily broken. Just as Yuri had guessed, the gray-haired young man was a true warrior. With a single, tiny movement, the knife in Yuri's hand was snatched away before he could even react.
"The smell of blood. And unnecessary vigilance and fear." The gray-haired young man casually tossed the knife aside and said, "Sometimes simply making a decision is useless. If you want to kill someone, at least show the courage you'd use when performing surgery."
"I was saving people at that time!" Yuri glared at him.
"I'm sorry, but I think it's about the same," the other party said politely. "At least on the battlefield, all of us uphold the idea of saving more lives by taking other lives."
Yuri was stunned, finally recalling the man's identity from the dusty newspapers, the overwhelming online information, and the wanted posters in the corners of his memory. "...You are Igor Sullivan!" He couldn't help but take a step back, his mind racing with the glorious military exploits and cruel reputation associated with the name. "So, is this a base of some hostile Federation force? What is your purpose?!"
Before his shouting could attract the attention of his neighbors, Igor closed and locked the door behind him.
Then the young man, as agile as a gray wolf, gave a faint smile: "If we were, you would be dead."
Besides, what terrorist would stay in such a warm and homely place?
Do you think it's the mafia described by the cartoonist?
Yuri gradually calmed down: "That knife is not the murder weapon. I need to use it to stabilize my mental state."
"Are you feeling anything unusual right now?"
"I think it's unusual that you appear before me openly."
Igor smiled again: "It seems that you are in good condition. Maybe you don't need our help."
"Dr. Garcia gave me this tape." Yuri took it out and threw it to Igor, who was preparing to pour tea at the coffee table from two meters away. "What does the sound in it mean? Why do I hear it over and over again?"
Igor stood up, took a sip of tea slowly, and placed the cup gently on the table.
"What kind of answer do you want to hear, sir?"
“…How do you say that?”
"If you're here to find the culprit who caused your life to spiral down to this point, then I can only say that fate is fickle. If your purpose is to condemn, then as a loser, I can do nothing but share your hatred for the enemy."
Yuri looks really young.
But age isn't determined by appearance. You can see the traces of time in a person's behavior, speech, values, and perspectives, in every subtle expression, every cell, even every bone. "It's not the length of time that makes things seem distant, but two or three irreversible events." Yuri has experienced such irreversible events too many times.
So this means that he is not a young man who is impulsive and easily gets carried away by hot-blooded things.
"You are not a loser." He looked at Igor and said, "If you were, there would be no successful people in this world."
"However, I believe our sense of achievement is often measured not by what we have gained, but by what we have lost," Igor said. "For example, let's say you have achieved brilliant success in the field of medicine, but in addition, you have lost your family, career, ideals, and basic living security. I wouldn't be surprised if you felt resentful and never recovered from this."
"..." A trace of unconcealed pain flashed in Yuri's dark brown eyes. "I'm not here to find the culprit or shift the blame, at least not today. I just want to know the truth... What does this tape mean?"
"If you follow reason and seek the truth, then things will be much simpler. I can't answer all of your questions, but at least I can tell you what I know." Igor gestured for him to sit down across from him. "Let's start with the most basic and fundamental topic: Do you believe in God?"
“……?”
**
"This is a trap." Hugo delicately turned an A4-sized screen on the table in front of him, which was displaying the images and sounds of the living room. "If Yuri came here driven by anger and fear, hoping to reclaim what he had lost, then he might be able to escape safely."
Erica, who was sitting next to it, tilted her head and thought for a moment before saying, "But he's not here to blame anyone. He's accepted the reality that he can't recover what he's lost. He just wants to know about his special abilities, the voices he heard, the strange visions he saw during the Queen's Birthday Celebration, and how these things are related to us. Isn't that reasonable? Only by understanding can we fight back."
"Yes," Hugo agreed. "He chose the right path, but Azathoth won't let him go precisely because of this, right?"
"Huh?"
Erica turned around and looked at the god who was sitting in the corner staring into space in a daze.
Wendy whispered, "My brother mentioned to me that the God wants new believers, and someone like Mr. Ulysses should be a good candidate."
Garcia shuddered diagonally across from Azathoth.
That's it.
He thought.
God's favor is not necessarily a lucky thing.
When you accept this with such gusto, it means you can no longer break free—you become the iron hoof under His command, the sharp blade in His hand, His most loyal warrior, and His right-hand man, ready to be severed at any moment. You will always keep Him before your eyes, and the direction of His wielding blade on the battlefield is your only direction to move forward. But because you are so close and His brilliance is so dazzling, you will not be able to see the haze hidden beneath the light.
Simply put, humans fear things they cannot control.
To believe in an evil god and be favored by him is to entrust everything you have to the unknown.
How can I dare to invest my whole heart in trust?
——How can we reject Him?
**
"My mind tells me you're talking nonsense."
Yuri said, "Everything you said is inconsistent with my previous education and what the federal authorities have preached."
"Seeing is believing," Igor said, "perhaps for you, hearing is believing."
The music played by an unknown instrument sounded again.
Yuri closed his eyes slightly, feeling as if he were sitting on a train that never stopped moving forward. Outside the window was a monotonous, repetitive landscape, the faces of the people around him were blurred, and their conversations were like whispers. The only thing he noticed was the music flowing from the train's broadcast.
Only music.
He leaned back on the hard train seat, humming a familiar tune that only he knew on the peaceful journey home. It was like golden syrup spilled from an old man's hand, stirring his thoughts into a sticky and sweet state. In this moment, both the cruel fate and the eternal pain and torture seemed far away.
He closed his eyes and fell into a warm dream.
About half an hour later.
Yuri suddenly opened his eyes, gasped, and stood up in confusion, one hand groping for something at his side.
"What do you want to do?" Igor, who was sitting opposite him, still maintained his previous posture, as if time had stopped half an hour ago. "Find your knife and stab it into your ear? Your habit is unacceptable."
"Even if my brain is pierced, it will quickly regenerate." Yuri gave up his futile attempts and calmed his breathing. "I don't know how anyone could kill me."
Igor shook his head disapprovingly.
Yuri sighed, "I believe it, Mr. Sullivan."
"Your decision is in your own hands. I just told you part of the truth you wanted to know."
"...But I never have the initiative, right?" Yuri looked around again, then said to Igor, "My only bargaining chip is that I think I can be useful. Although I don't know which of these points is more valuable in your opinion."
"That depends on what you can do."
"You have doctors and soldiers," Yuri said. "Since you appeared here without anyone noticing, it means your logistics are also good. I can't imagine what you need me to do... Wait."
He squeezed his fingers so hard that the blood vessels beneath his skin ruptured and quickly healed. "Do you need an agent in the open or an executioner in the dark? I think you can do both."
"You can too." Igor said with interest, "So pick one?"
“…”
After a while, Yuri said, "I don't really like appearing in public."
Well, Igor thought, maybe what kind of god there is, what kind of believers there are.
...No, that idea is too rude.
But next time, can we at least have an adult who can go out and interact with people?
"That's it," he said nonchalantly, "now you can go and try to see Him."
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