Intoxicating Millet Wine (Part 2)
After the initial bitterness, reason returned to He Yinxin's mind.
The question that had just slipped out of his mouth lingered in his mind.
He covered his mouth, his fingertips trembling: What...what am I saying? But could Xiaochun really have someone she likes?
Who is this person?
He Yinxin shook her head, shaking off those complicated thoughts, and struggled to get up from the ground.
He took a deep breath and looked up at the mirror on the table.
A flushed face appeared in the gleaming mirror.
"I drank too much." He Yinxin sighed and forced a smile at the mirror. "Yeah. Xiaochun, I... drank too much."
That's why I talked so much, and that's why I thought you had someone you liked.
"You won't like anyone else. You're just curious, right? Haha."
The effects of the alcohol gradually eroded the rationality he had managed to maintain. He lowered his head and replied to Jiang Yichun in Xi Xi's tone.
Stata, please leave me alone: [Why is Xiaochun asking me this question?]
Do you have a crush on someone?
The other party did not reply to him again.
He Yinxin's gaze lingered on the blank chat background until her eyes welled up with tears and her vision gradually blurred.
"Clatter".
A tear fell onto the phone screen, spreading out in seven colors.
He Yinxin turned off her phone, covered her face with one hand, and let the tears slide down her cheeks.
His chest heaved violently.
Why am I crying? Do I really like you?
"How could I like you... I can't find a reason."
"If you meet someone a few times, receive a gift, and suddenly you like them, then that liking is too cheap."
He Yinxin heard the words of those adults.
"Xinxin, if you get first place in the exam, we'll take you on a trip."
"Xinxin, you got first place this time, but the result is definitely not good enough for you."
"It's not that your parents don't keep their word; you have to pay a price to get something."
"That's how the world is—cruel and driven by self-interest."
"We got married and had you because we thought the other person was a good match and we were well-suited."
"You carry all our hopes."
"He Yinxin, there is no love without a reason in this world."
These cold, realistic words stung his chaotic nerves, and he curled up, trembling all over.
The sheet metal grew back from every pore of his skin, completely enveloping his burning, beating heart.
"Yes, I don't know why I like her. So, it's just my imagination."
"I guess I still can't drink alcohol."
He repeated those words over and over, his fingertips gently caressing the jar of mint that Jiang Yichun had given him:
"Yes, we're just friends."
"Looks like I really drank too much."
He Yinxin rubbed his dizzy head, then simply turned off his phone, stood up, grabbed his toiletries with trembling hands, and rushed into the bathroom.
Hot water poured down on his head again, but it couldn't extinguish the flames burning in his heart.
"Xiaochun..."
He rubbed his wet hair and called her name again.
He wasn't wearing glasses, and the mist condensed into a wall in front of his eyes.
Jiang Yichun stood on the other side of the wall, her back to him, her hair fluttering in the mist.
He reached out his hand, but could only touch the dampness.
He couldn't hold her; he could only catch a hand full of scalding hot water.
Water mixed with shower gel slid down his skin like glue.
Clumps of foam rose in his hands and spread over his skin.
Slippery, sticky, and illusory.
He Yinxin was panting. Although he couldn't touch her, his mind was already filled with Jiang Yichun's smiling face.
He shook his head, letting the mist engulf him and his imagined her, letting himself hold her hand in his fantasy.
"Koharu."
He called her name softly again, his breathing becoming heavier.
A few drops of water flowed from his nostrils into his nasal cavity.
Unable to bear the suffocating feeling, he slightly raised his chin and closed his eyes tightly.
"He Yixin, what are you doing?"
"You've disappointed us so much, aren't you ashamed!"
The adults' comments came crashing down on him again; their accusatory words and the pairs of eyes staring intently at him made it hard for him to breathe.
Someone, please save me!
Even though he had clearly severed all ties with that pigeon coop, the pain of being imprisoned was not lessened by escaping.
Can Xiaochun save me?
impossible.
He had approached Xiaochun using such despicable deception; the best outcome he could hope for was that he could cure his own food addiction.
He Yinxin groaned, letting the hot water wash everything away from her body.
"asshole."
"I'm a liar."
He cursed himself under his breath, bracing himself against the wall with one hand as he turned off the gushing faucet.
As the sound of water subsided, those lingering, sticky emotions dissipated in the steam of the bathroom, leaving only rationality.
Once she leaves this hazy space, He Yinxin will always embrace rationality to protect herself.
He will always be that rational and excellent AI.
With his hair still wet, he put on his pajamas, stepped out of the bathroom, and muttered to himself:
"I don't like her. I was just drunk. Now that I'm sober, I feel much better."
"It's getting late, time to sleep."
He Yinxin opened the door to the room, and Jia Shugui was playing games as usual.
He didn't turn around to look at Jia Shugui, and plopped down in the chair again.
He Yinxin looked at her phone, which had a crack in it, took a deep breath, and picked it up.
There is only one message on the screen.
Everything's Easy: [No, I just wanted to gossip a bit. If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine too.]
He Yinxin stared at the message in silence, and finally let out a long sigh.
He could never refuse her requests, even as her sister Xi Xi.
Moreover, he did have something to say.
Stata, please let me go: [I said.]
I feel terrible; his every move makes me anxious. I even keep asking myself why I like him.
Isn't that strange?
Everything's easy: [Are you alright? This is proof that you like him.]
He Yinxin's previously calmed mind started to overheat again.
His memories of Jiang Yichun resurfaced in his mind.
Stata, please let me go: [Also, I get so happy every time I see him. He's like the sun to me; I'm happy just being with him, even if we're not doing anything.]
His hands trembled more and more as he typed, until he finally sent the message.
The green frame was reflected in his eyes. He Yinxin read his words again carefully, and then his eyes widened.
Why is it that all the feelings I subconsciously write about, all my feelings of liking, come from her?
He covered his mouth, his cheeks flushed red.
Everything is easy: [Sister Xixi, it seems you really like him.]
Jiang Yichun's reply and his own self-questioning intertwined in his mind, causing He Yinxin's brain to completely break down.
Words like "like," "love," and "deception" swirled in his mind, but he quickly dismissed them all.
He only focused on that one sentence: I can no longer use Xixi's account to deceive her.
But if I confess to him face to face... will Jiang Yichun forgive me?
He was once again consumed by fear of Jiang Yichun, and once again his path was blocked by uncertainty.
He Yinxin gripped her phone tightly, staring at her "Xixi" account.
He thought that although he couldn't confess immediately, he absolutely couldn't deceive her anymore as Xi Xi, but should truly approach her as He Yin Xin.
However... now may not be the best time to be honest.
If the contract, Xiaochun's postgraduate recommendation, and his own illness were to detonate this bomb at this moment, it would only result in mutual destruction.
He thought he could only gradually remove Xixi from Xiaochun's life, while gradually moving closer to Xiaochun himself.
He will slowly crawl out of the cocoon called "Xi Xi" and become his own butterfly or moth, rushing towards the flame that belongs only to him.
Even if it means being shattered to pieces in the end.
Even as he perished, he didn't know the reason for putting out the fire.
Even if he didn't know if he really liked her.
He Yinxin made up her mind and sent a message.
Stata, please let me go: [Maybe. It's getting late, you should get some rest.]
【Good evening. 】
Jiang Yichun stared at the words "Goodnight" and frowned.
Why is Sister Xixi acting so strange today?
Why are you asking yourself if you have a guy you like?
But... that seems normal. I asked her with some strange feelings in the first place; everyone has a gossipy side, right?
The alcohol was still stimulating her dizzy brain. She covered her eyes and sighed deeply.
Xi Xi's words kept circling in her mind.
"I miss him terribly," "He's like the sun," "Being with him brings me happiness"...
A blurry figure appeared before her eyes.
He was wearing glasses, and half of his face was buried in his scarf.
He looked aloof and unsmiling.
Her heart raced, and she drew closer to him, gradually seeing the tears hidden behind his glasses.
She raised her hand, intending to pull off his scarf.
She wanted to see his true expression.
Just as my heart was about to race out of control, that face suddenly transformed into XiXi's boyfriend's face.
"Hi, Jiang, I'm here to help Xixi..."
"Ah!" Jiang Yichun screamed and sat up abruptly in bed.
She patted her chest, panting heavily.
Sister Xi Xi's words were truly touching, and they moved me deeply as well.
But to say those things to someone like that, to that face that could supposedly alleviate the energy crisis...
Jiang Yichun pinched the bridge of her nose; the greasy man's face had sobered her up considerably.
Sister Xixi...maybe she really saw something she couldn't see herself.
She scratched her head, lay back down on the bed, and took out her phone again.
"Tsk, forget it, I still don't understand."
She frowned, gently poking at Xixi's profile picture with her fingertip: "Xixi, although I think you have pica, you really... really like him."
"Sigh, whatever, I'll respect your choice."
Everything is easy: [Goodnight, Xixi, sweet dreams.]
She did not receive any further reply.
Jiang Yichun turned off his phone and buried himself back under the covers.
She could hear Yang Fei and her boyfriend's sweet, affectionate voices.
"Baby, I'll love you forever, goodnight!" Yang Fei smiled and gently kissed the phone screen.
Lin Yan on the other end of the phone blew a kiss: "Goodnight, Feifei."
Jiang Yichun covered his ears, and finally let out a long sigh.
Her resentment towards Yang Fei hadn't subsided when her gossipy nature kicked in: "By the way, Fei Fei, how did you and your boyfriend meet?"
"Oh, we met online. I posted a dance video online, and he said he wanted my contact information. I thought he was quite handsome, so I gave it to him." Yang Fei said, sipping her rose tea.
"And then you two got together?" Jiang Yichun sat up abruptly in bed, pulled back the curtains, and met Yang Fei's gaze.
Yang Fei smiled and took a sip of rose tea: "Yeah, we chatted for a few nights, and when we walked around the playground, he wanted to kiss me, so I kissed him."
"And then we got together."
Jiang Yichun nearly dislocated his jaw: "This...this is too fast! Am I watching some kind of short drama?"
"Shouldn't you...first consider whether you like the other person and whether they like you back when you're in a relationship?"
"This kind of..."
“Hey, Xiaochun, that’s too narrow-minded.” Yang Fei shook her head. “In my eyes, dating is more like gaining an experience than finding a soulmate.”
"Lin Yan may also be one of my experiences, and I will not give him all my sincerity and love."
"Besides, everyone's doing this now. If you don't act quickly, the person you like might become someone else's lover."
To become someone else's lover?
If He Yinxin... no, why did I think of him again?
Jiang Yichun's head was spinning even more. She rubbed the corner of the blanket and said, "Okay, I know, Feifei. I need to rest. Thank you for telling me so much."
Yang Fei smiled at her: "No need to thank me, don't you know what our relationship is? You can come to me anytime if you have any relationship problems."
"Mm." Jiang Yichun nodded and lay back down on the bed.
She was still in a daze; Yang Fei's view on love was like a pre-cooked pig's trotter bought from a fast food restaurant.
Although it is not as delicious as the carefully prepared pig's trotters served at the school gate, it is still the first choice for people.
It saves money and time, and offers great value for money.
So, should I choose fast food pig's trotters or street vendor pig's trotters?
She kept replaying the problem in her mind, and many fragments of the story flashed before her eyes.
Under the influence of that cup of rice wine, she couldn't come up with the answer and drifted off to sleep.
This unresolved question became the wine in her dreams, buried deep in the cellar of her consciousness.
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