Chapter 132 Begging for mercy: Can you forgive me? Just take pity on me. ...
The warm fragrance that filled her nose was somewhat diluted by the cold air, and as her limbs warmed up, Yue Yining regained her original breathing rhythm.
She stopped trying to break free from him and instead lowered her voice, speaking coldly: "...Now that things have come to this, do you still think that as long as you continue to pretend to be submissive in front of me, I will be fooled by you again and again?"
The long, thick eyelashes of the person in front of her trembled slightly. Yue Yining lowered her brows, deliberately turning her eyes away from him, pinching the collar of her fur coat with her fingers and taking a step back, once again putting an arm's length distance between them.
She bluntly stated her point: "Did you come out with me because you were genuinely worried about me getting cold, or are you trying to ruin my plans?"
If there were countless eyes watching her in the hall, then just as many were watching Xie Qingyu. Now, this man swaggered out of the hall with her, dressed so neatly, which must have already attracted the attention of those with ulterior motives. If even one person had sent a servant to follow him, then her whereabouts would have been exposed.
She deliberately didn't wear a fur coat and braved the frost halfway there, but now it's all for nothing.
She didn't believe Xie Qingyu couldn't understand these things. This person was cunning and shrewd; no matter how you looked at it, it seemed like he was doing it intentionally.
White plum blossoms cascade like snow, moonlight shrouds them in pink. Faced with her questioning, Xie Qingyu stood quietly, waiting for her to finish before softly saying, "I had no such intention."
"Before I left, I instructed my guard to keep watch behind me. If anyone follows us, he will handle it. Please rest assured, Miss."
Xie Qingyu's voice, like thin, white porcelain, was low and delicate, the syllables almost shattering as they flowed from her pale red lips, nearly heart-wrenching: "I am of low character and will stop at nothing, but I would never do anything to harm you, Miss. I followed you here only because I remembered your frail health and feared you might catch a cold..."
“I don’t need it.” Yue Yining interrupted him. “You don’t need to sweet-talk me anymore, because I no longer trust you, Xie Qingyu.”
"Whether you want the best for me or not, I don't care anymore. If you were me, and someone had deceived you like this, would you still trust them?"
Xie Qingyu's fingers began to tremble uncontrollably again. Yue Yining finally looked at him directly, and the disappointment hidden in her eyes was clear and obvious; every second felt like torture for him.
"I received your kindness today because you still consider me your benefactor. But how long can your kindness last? If I were to stand in your way one day, would you still consider our past relationship?"
"If you were to use your ruthless methods against me, my fate might not be as dignified as Xie Zhi's," Yue Yining said slowly. "Am I wrong? Do you think any of my words have wronged you?"
Xie Qingyu remained silent. Clouds and moon churned, petals fell in profusion, and he stood beneath the flowers, his breath barely audible, like a figure sculpted from glass, as if it would shatter at the slightest touch.
Yue Yining pursed her lips, grasped the knot he had just tied around her collar, and whispered, "I'm giving you back your clothes. Don't do this again. I can't accept your kindness towards me anymore."
Seeing that he remained silent, Yue Yining hardened her heart and reached out to take off her cloak, at which point Xie Qingyu finally moved.
He took a few quick steps forward, disregarding all manners, his usually neat sleeves billowing into the air. To her astonishment, his hands suddenly grasped hers.
Yue Yining was startled: "What are you doing...!"
His long, jade-like fingers encircled her, his burning body heat spreading from their touching skin to every part of her body. She wanted to break free from him, but the moment she moved, she suddenly heard the words that escaped his lips, whispered so low they made her heart tremble.
He said, "...I was wrong."
“I shouldn’t have tried to sow discord between them, I shouldn’t have killed people indiscriminately, I shouldn’t have disregarded human life, and I shouldn’t have lied to you.”
"It's all my fault, I made a mistake, I really regret it," Xie Qingyu said in a low, hoarse voice. "...Miss, can you forgive me?"
"Ever since Miss scolded me, I have been reflecting on the sins I have committed day and night. I dare not make excuses for myself; I have disregarded human ethics and am reaping the consequences of my actions."
“But other people who make mistakes always get a chance to make amends. I also want to repent for my mistakes. Miss, could you give me a chance too?” Xie Qingyu’s once gentle and bright eyes were now devoid of any light, her eyes red as she looked at her. “Don’t just abandon me like this. Please, just take pity on me.”
"I promise I won't do anything wrong again, and I won't hide anything from you anymore. I'll tell you everything, I..."
His voice trembled slightly, his breathing was broken, as if he could not control himself, his throat was churning with sobs, and his pleading voice gradually faded away.
Yue Yining stood motionless, no longer struggling, letting him hold her hands tighter and tighter. The thin calluses on his knuckles gently rubbed against her fingers, and for a moment she felt a pain that she couldn't tell whether it came from her heart or somewhere else.
The shock in my heart gradually grew, reaching its peak when I saw the wet tears in his eyes.
"You..." Yue Yining tried to suppress her excitement and speak, but her voice was stuck in her throat.
My heart, as hard as a rock, was enveloped by an unfamiliar, bittersweet feeling, unable to break free, my fingers stiff and unable to bend or straighten.
She couldn't tell the difference again.
She knew perfectly well how despicable this person was, and she knew he was not worthy of her trust, but her body reacted against reason. Uncontrollably, even her heart trembled slightly as he cried.
She prided herself on never misjudging anyone, except for him, who always put her in a dilemma. They had countless heart-to-heart talks, yet she still didn't know if he was a saint or a demon.
His gaze upon her was so clear and pure, devoid of hypocrisy or calculation, but rather a kind of desperate sincerity and vulnerability. Whenever she wanted to blame him, to rebuke him, seeing him looking at her like that, the words that were on the tip of her tongue would get stuck in her throat, and she could never bring herself to say them.
Did she misjudge him? Or was he really forced into this situation?
"...So what exactly is the reason?" Yue Yining couldn't help but ask in a low voice, with a hint of anxiety and urgency that she herself didn't realize. "Yun Ying came to see me. She said you had your reasons. Is that true?"
"Back then, the Xie and Wang families conspired to use you as bait. You were abandoned by Xie Zhi and suffered countless torments, which is why you hated him and later plotted to kill him, is that right?"
Xie Qingyu simply looked at her with tears in her eyes, her bright pupils filled with countless unspoken emotions, yet she remained silent.
A gust of wind swept by, the clouds parted the treetops, and countless flowers fell.
The long silence was like a pool of water, soaking the two people facing each other, and also allowing Yue Yining to slowly catch her breath.
"...Never mind." Yue Yining suddenly gave a self-deprecating laugh. "You've never believed me anyway, so why should I bother digging three feet into the ground to find out?"
She had clearly asked him before, and she didn't want to believe that he was actually a hypocrite with a wolf in sheep's clothing, nor did she want to wrong him in any way. She even asked him if he had some unspeakable reason for doing so.
It was clearly him who didn't want to tell her the reason, he was the one who kept it from her even when things got to that point, and now he's humbly apologizing in front of her, trying to get her to feel sorry for him and pity him. What was he doing in the first place? Is it because Yue Yining is easy to bully and deserves to be played by him?
Xie Qingyu opened her eyes wide, shook her head slightly, and stubbornly repeated, "Miss..."
Yue Yining didn't want to hear anymore. She took a deep breath and said, "Let go."
Xie Qingyu ignored her and tightened her grip even more.
"I said let go!" Yue Yining shouted angrily, her chest heaving noticeably through her coat. "I gave you a chance, Xie Qingyu!"
"...If I said yes," Xie Qingyu's voice was hoarse, "would Miss forgive me?"
Yue Yining was almost amused by his words: "Are you trying to bargain with me?"
The person in front of her still looked at her with red eyes, his face as white as paper, which was heartbreaking.
"...No, it's not about bargaining."
“There are some things I can’t explain to Miss,” Xie Qingyu paused for a moment, seemingly hesitating, but then made up his mind. He pursed his slightly trembling lips and slowly said, “Miss will surely understand me.”
"Just like Miss, you've never been honest with me about your true purpose for coming to Yanjing."
Yue Yining's eyes widened suddenly; this time, it was genuine astonishment.
She opened her mouth: "What did you say..."
“Miss, do you remember? When we were in Qinghuai, one night you were taken away by Jiang Feiyan’s men and came back with injuries.” Xie Qingyu said, “That night, we didn’t go to sleep until almost dawn, and you talked to me a lot.”
“You talked about your past life, your master, and the conflicts between you and your master. At that time, I asked you if you left the mountain because you disagreed with your master’s methods. You said that wasn’t entirely true, and then you didn’t continue.”
“Actually, I know. I know what the other half of what you didn’t say was.” Xie Qingyu gasped and closed her eyes. “You will come down the mountain because you have foreseen the fate of the nation.”
"You know that the Crown Prince will die suddenly in five years. The current emperor is devastated by the death of his eldest son and will not live much longer. In less than two years, the fourth prince will become the new Crown Prince and ascend the throne. But he is not a good emperor. He only knows how to enjoy himself and ignores state affairs, allowing treacherous officials to control the country. The people of Dongxi who live under his rule are suffering terribly."
"In the end, local powers undermined the dynasty, the emperor lost his power to rule the world, chaos ensued, and the Eastern Xi dynasty, which had lasted for hundreds of years, perished."
At the tender age of fourteen, Yue Yining used tortoise shell divination for the first time and predicted the fate of the Dongxi Kingdom for the next twenty years.
According to the divination, five years have passed and the sun has set; before the two autumns are over, the Purple Star has changed hands; before ten years have passed, the nine ancestral temples have collapsed.
From then on, the land was shrouded in darkness, wolves and jackals ruled, and the common people wept blood. Eight years of calamity followed, and the world was never at peace again.
"And you, you are the only one in the divination who can turn the tide and save the world. You are determined to save the world, but your master disagrees with you, so you went down the mountain without hesitation."
Yue Yining was speechless; she was too shocked to speak and could only stare blankly at Xie Qingyu in front of her.
His gaze was so complex that she couldn't understand it; intense sorrow lingered in his eyes, like a bottomless, icy pool reflecting her frail figure.
That was despair. Like cold vines, it coiled around the last glimmer of light in his eyes, tightening, suffocating, almost crushing that light completely. In the impenetrable darkness, he struggled with an almost pathetic plea, like a drowning person reaching out in vain, trying to grasp the only light before him, yet knowing clearly that this light would eventually be extinguished in the raging fire.
He said in a hoarse voice, "...Miss once asked me a question. If someone could save everyone in the world, but the price was that person's life, would I do it?"
“When the young lady asked that question, I already knew everything, I understood everything. That’s why I said I didn’t want to.”
Yue Yining had a vague premonition of what Xie Qingyu was about to say.
The secret that had been so carefully guarded was suddenly exposed and brought to light.
Yue Yining was always a strategist with impeccable wisdom and could remain calm and composed in the face of unexpected events, even turning the tables on the other side. But at this moment, her mind went blank.
Her fingers, held in his hand, trembled slightly involuntarily. She pursed her lips, her voice tinged with a hint of panic and helplessness, "I..."
“That’s not a hypothetical scenario, is it?” Xie Qingyu looked at her, her gaze seemingly able to see into her soul. “The person you’re talking about is yourself.”
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Author's Note: Finally, we've talked it out!!
I feel a little better today than yesterday [sparkling eyes] Maybe it's my strong immune system working! I'm begging you all for nutritional supplements to heal my ailments!
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