Chapter 181 The royal family's deep-seated hatred and passionate love have faded, leaving only the separation between ruler and subject. ...
In May, the northern wilderness is covered with lush, verdant grasses.
The mountains and valleys are covered in verdant green. Amidst this greenery, a solitary figure in a crimson robe emerges from the foot of the mountain.
She walked very slowly, stumbling occasionally, and from a distance, she looked like a carelessly fallen petal in a long landscape scroll.
The princess sacrificed her warhorse, discarded her armor and sword, and with only a short knife, killed all the pursuers.
Wei Yihua finally walked out of Yanran Mountain alone.
She hadn't slept all night, her mind tense as she continued her journey, and a deep weariness washed over her the moment she saw the sunrise over the plains.
The vast wilderness stretched before us, with waist-high green grass resembling surging waves.
The border is far away, about three hundred li from Yanran Mountain.
A fine steed can only arrive at the destination by running from dawn to dusk.
In this area, wild animals and birds roam freely, and one may occasionally encounter small nomadic tribes that frequently migrate. Apart from these, there is nothing but endless grasslands and vast skies.
She had no provisions or water pouch, no compass or fast horse, only a short knife and her two legs.
If she wanted to return to her homeland alive, she had no other choice but to move forward.
With her legs still aching from walking all night and her eyes bloodshot, Wei Yihua took a breath, gritted her teeth, clenched her fists, and took another step, determined, heading towards the distant, unreachable grassland.
...
After coughing up blood in late spring, the emperor's health deteriorated day by day, and he remained secluded at home for several days, causing unrest among the people in the court and the country.
Knowing that time was of the essence, Yue Yining immediately began an investigation into the death of the Crown Prince, which was conducted in a highly secretive manner.
Xie Qingyu used the Xie family's secret agents and spies hidden among the powerful clans to gather all the rumors about the Crown Prince's death, down to the smallest detail.
Shen Liude and Qiu Yuebai are currently serving in counties and towns around the capital. Without an imperial decree, they are not allowed to leave their posts and come to the capital without authorization, so they cannot be of much help.
Without the assistance of a trusted female official, Yue Yining read through all the intelligence reports submitted to her on her own, staying up for two consecutive nights.
After sorting things out, she contacted her spies in the palace and began to discreetly reach out to people who might be connected to what happened back then.
Initially, progress was frustratingly slow.
The palace maids who had served the Crown Prince all became his funerary companions. The Emperor handled this matter so cleanly that Yue Yining could only try to find some clues by working among the maids who had been dismissed or transferred from the Crown Prince's palace before his death. However, these people either knew nothing or kept quiet, all looking as if they were afraid of getting into trouble.
Just when the trail had almost gone cold, a seemingly unrelated message was handed to Yue Yining.
An elderly clerk in the palace, responsible for managing old archives and nearing retirement, accidentally injured his leg while organizing the storeroom and needed to rest for several months. He was replaced by his apprentice, who had received a small but significant favor from the Xie family in his younger days.
Yue Yining keenly sensed that this was an opportunity.
The palace archives not only stored books and files, but also some scattered records about the daily expenses and living conditions of various palaces. Although they did not involve confidential information, they could leave unexpected traces.
She instructed her apprentice to keep a close watch on any daily records related to the Crown Prince's palace, especially those leading up to the date of his sudden death, without drawing attention to the palace.
After waiting for several days, the news that came back was disappointing.
Official records related to the Crown Prince's Palace have been almost completely wiped out, leaving only some trivial lists of items.
Just when Yue Yining was about to give up, the old clerk's apprentice suddenly brought a new clue: a female doctor surnamed Su.
“This Physician Su is not an official of the Crown Prince’s Palace.” Xie Qingyu summarized the contents of the intelligence he had read to Yue Yining. “She used to work in the Imperial Medical Bureau and was skilled in medicinal cuisine. About half a year before the Crown Prince’s accident, because the anniversary of Empress Gu’s death was approaching, the Crown Prince was worried and lost his appetite. His Majesty specially ordered her to prepare a calming and appetite-stimulating medicinal soup for the Crown Prince every day, which lasted for more than a month.”
"This matter was recorded in the regular assignment files of the Imperial Medical Bureau, so it was not cleared. Not long after the Crown Prince passed away, she requested to leave the palace and return to her hometown because her mother was seriously ill."
Yue Yining's spirits lifted suddenly.
This was the only palace servant they had encountered in all their investigations who had had close contact with the Crown Prince's daily meals!
Finding the whereabouts of Physician Su took quite a bit of effort.
She was originally from the capital region, but her mother passed away shortly after she returned home, so she married a man from a small town a hundred miles away from the capital.
The town happened to be under Shen Liude's jurisdiction, and Yue Yining used Shen Liude's connections to find out her exact residence without alerting anyone.
To ensure everything went smoothly, Yue Yining did not go in person. Instead, she had Shen Liude send a trusted maidservant, absolutely loyal to her, disguised as a woman visiting an old friend, to the town.
A few days later, at dusk, the maid returned weary from her journey, bringing back crucial information.
“Your Highness,” the maid whispered, “I saw Physician Su. She now looks like an ordinary woman and was initially very wary. As you instructed, I did not press her, but chatted about old palace matters and left some money, saying it was a favor from an old friend.”
"Grateful, she spoke a few words when she saw the maid off at the door, taking advantage of the fact that no one was around."
"She said that during His Highness the Crown Prince's final days, his mental state was severely damaged, and he often only ate a few bites of the medicinal meals she prepared."
"She was always worried about the Crown Prince's health and kept a close eye on what was happening at the Eastern Palace. That evening, as usual, she prepared medicinal food and sent it to the Eastern Palace, but she ran into the Crown Prince's son, Changyu, talking to Eunuch Wu at the door."
Seeing that the Crown Prince personally saw Eunuch Wu off at the door, and that the two had chatted under the eaves for a while, Physician Su was amazed. She did not go forward to disturb them, and only after Eunuch Wu left did she turn out and call out to the Crown Prince. Only then did she learn that Eunuch Wu had just delivered a bowl of soup on the Emperor's orders.
"She said that when the Imperial Guard saw the medicinal meal she was holding, he dismissed her immediately, saying that the Crown Prince had already gone to sleep and there was no need to send the meal in. She was a little surprised, as her medicinal meal was always sent at this time, and the Crown Prince had never gone to bed so early before, which was quite unusual."
"Having roughly discerned her thoughts, Changyu added an explanation, saying that the Crown Prince was in a bad mood today and had sent all the palace maids and eunuchs serving him outside as soon as he returned to the palace."
"She went to the bedchamber just now and found that the lights inside were all out. She called out to everyone but received no response. She figured that His Highness the Crown Prince had gone to bed early, so she didn't dare to disturb him. She simply placed the bowl of soup that Eunuch Wu had brought in the outer room behind the screen, and then quietly closed the door and left."
After hearing this, Physician Su had no choice but to take her leave and return home with the untouched medicinal meal.
Although she felt something was amiss, she assumed it was due to His Highness's fatigue and didn't think much of it.
To her utter surprise, the next morning brought the devastating news of the Crown Prince's sudden death.
Immediately afterwards, the Eastern Palace was ordered to be sealed off, and all palace staff were thrown into prison and imprisoned to be buried alive with the emperor.
After the maid finished speaking, a thin layer of sweat appeared on her forehead, and the hall fell silent for a moment.
Yue Yining felt a chill rise from the soles of her feet and instantly spread to her limbs and bones.
The Crown Prince did not drink the bowl of soup that the Emperor had ordered to be sent to him.
In that case, the death of the crown prince has nothing to do with the emperor, or at least nothing to do with that bowl of soup.
The emperor did not poison the crown prince.
But if it wasn't that poisoned soup, why did the Crown Prince die so suddenly? Why did the Emperor go to such lengths, even executing everyone who might know the truth, to try and cover up the Crown Prince's death? What was his purpose?
The thick white fog dissipated slightly, revealing even deeper mysteries.
From then on, the case became mired in difficulties and made no progress.
After talking with Yue Yining, Xie Qingyu couldn't help but think of the clue Xie Yunying had mentioned—the third side story.
So he sent someone to find the second young lady of the Xie family and asked her a question, using a secret code known only to the two siblings.
Xie Yunying has been worried about where the system has gone. She dials the emergency call every day, but all she hears is the same mechanical electronic voice repeating the same thing she's heard hundreds of times. She can only wait in vain.
Overwhelmed by pressure and feeling anxious, she could only ask Yuan Nanjie to come and keep her company.
With Yuan Nanjie around, she could feel a little more at ease.
On this day, she invited Yuan Nanjie to the Xie residence again. When the two were getting close, Xie Qingyu's people came to find her and conveyed the coded message to her in their conversation.
Xie Yunying suddenly realized, and quickly got off Yuan Nanjie's lap, explaining to him with an embarrassed look, "He's my older brother's man, and he wants to talk to me about something."
"I'll go back to my room to find him something. Wait for me in the yard for a bit, I'll be right back!"
Yuan Nanjie nodded, his gaze following her departing figure, a sudden feeling of reluctance rising in his heart.
A gust of wind blew by, and pear blossoms fluttered down, their petals piling up on our shoulders like snowflakes.
...He seemed to be getting deeper and deeper into it.
He had initially avoided Xie Yunying like the plague, but now he couldn't help but think about her. If he didn't see her for a day, he would be so worried that he couldn't concentrate on his studies or eat. It was truly outrageous of him.
A pang of shame crept into her heart, yet mingled with a strange sweetness. The man sitting quietly under the tree seemed lost in thought; his ears turned red, and he gently brushed the fallen petals from his shoulder.
Xie Yunying went inside, closed the door, and found the book "Yining" under her pillow.
She had been flipping through this novel before bed for a while, but the last few pages were always blank, so she assumed it would be a long time before she saw the third epilogue. After all, the second epilogue had only appeared recently, and there had been a long gap between it and the first one. If the third one was the same, she figured she couldn't rush it.
Xie Yunying was a little discouraged at the time, and later she stopped reading books as often.
If Xie Qingyu hadn't brought it up, she probably wouldn't have looked at it today. But since he's come to her door, she'll take a look for him.
Xie Yunying casually turned to the last page of the book, then suddenly froze.
A third side story... has actually appeared!
The light was dim by the bed, so she quickly took the book and sat by the window. Upon closer inspection, she was pleasantly surprised.
That's wonderful! Her wish actually came true!
The protagonist of this third side story is none other than the late Crown Prince, Wei Changqiong.
Xie Yunying flipped through the pages; there were only two or three pages. Unable to contain her curiosity, she decided to finish reading this new side story right now.
The window was half-open, and the spring breeze blew in, causing the pages of the book to flutter. Xie Yunying reached out and pressed down on one corner.
"My name is Wei Changqiong. I was born to the Empress Dowager and am the eldest legitimate son."
"When I was young, I was ignorant and naive. As I grew up, I gradually learned how I was seen by the world."
"My father was a wise and capable ruler, skilled in both literature and military affairs, and he governed the country well; my mother was the only female general of the previous dynasty, and she was invincible in battle. My father deeply loved my mother, and their love story has become a legend, passed down through the ages and known to everyone."
"As their first child, I was naturally the emperor's beloved son. At the age of four, I was named the Crown Prince and enjoyed the emperor's favor."
"I don't know who they're talking about."
"I am not favored by my father and mother. From the time I can remember, my father rarely came to the East Palace to see me. On the contrary, my mother often summoned me. Therefore, every time I saw my father, it was in my mother's palace."
"When he came to see the Empress Dowager, if he saw me, he would smile, take my hand and ask me some questions, and then have the palace servants carry me away, leaving him and the Empress Dowager alone in a room."
"Sometimes, my father and mother would stay inside for a very long time, and the maids of Fengyi Palace would have Fu Mu carry me back to the East Palace."
"Sometimes, my father would quickly storm out, and I would be dragged into the palace by my mother and beaten."
"Many times, I don't know why I was beaten."
"The only thing I felt about this when I was young was pain."
"It hurt so much, it hurt so much, I couldn't bear it. I could only cry and say I was wrong, even though I didn't know what I had done wrong. I was just begging for mercy out of fear. I begged my mother to stop hitting me, pleading again and again, until I could no longer beg. Only then did my mother stop."
"When my mother beat me, she was like a madwoman who had lost her mind, her eyes bloodshot. But once she stopped, she would turn back into the mother who loved me deeply. Her hands would tremble as she would hold me tightly in her arms, and suddenly she would burst into tears, her tears wetting half of my face."
"My mother didn't beat me often. More often, she would just lock herself in the palace, screaming and yelling while smashing things, shattering gold, silver and jewels all over the floor."
"These chaotic days didn't last long. Soon I turned six and went to Chonghua Palace to study and begin my education. I gradually learned many things."
"Being sensible means that I am gradually able to understand the truths that are not explicitly stated beneath the surface of words."
"For example, the Emperor once promised the Empress Dowager that he would be with her for life, but in the second year of his reign, he slept with a palace maid and brought the Empress Dowager's half-sister into the palace, making her a concubine."
"For example, although my mother was clearly the daughter of a military family, I never saw her wield a sword or dagger because she had suffered a miscarriage once. My younger brother, the second prince of Dongxi, whom I never met, suddenly died in my mother's womb one afternoon. In the same year, the palace maid and Consort Li both gave birth successfully, and Dongxi had its third and fourth princes. I was also officially named the Crown Prince of the Eastern Palace."
"For example, when I was being beaten by my mother, the palace servants were all outside the palace, and they must have heard my cries. As the Crown Prince, I was beaten like this for two years. My father must have known this, but he turned a deaf ear and tacitly approved of my mother's abuse of me."
"For example, the Empress Dowager smashed all the rare treasures that the Emperor had sent, but she carefully stored the items that Consort Li had sent in a padded box. However, every time Consort Li came to see the Empress Dowager, the Empress Dowager would refuse to let her into the palace, shouting for her to leave and crying until she was hoarse."
"The valiant and spirited female general in the rumors is not my mother."
"My mother was just a woman trapped in the deep palace, unable to do anything but spend her days in tears."
"By the time the Empress Dowager became pregnant with Yihua, she was already physically and mentally exhausted, almost withered away."
"When I was seven years old, my mother passed away after giving birth to Yihua."
"Until my mother passed away, I never saw her show a genuine smile to anyone in this deep palace."
"My deceased mother became a taboo subject that could not be mentioned. My younger sister, Yihua, was registered under Consort Li's name. For some reason, everyone in the palace assumed that Yihua was Consort Li's biological daughter and kept Yihua's true background a closely guarded secret."
"My father seemed to have become a different person. He poured all his love into me, began to summon me often, said words of concern, personally taught me my studies, and granted me permission to freely enter and leave the imperial study and look through the memorials on his desk."
"He seemed to suddenly understand how to love his son, and wanted to make up for the shortcomings of the previous seven years, which made me love him to the core."
"I used to live in fear at night because my mother would often summon me without warning, then lock the door and beat me. Now that my mother is dead, there is no one in the palace who will beat me anymore. This should be a good thing, but I don't feel any better."
"It was a feeling that was hard to put into words. Sometimes when I looked at my father, I would suddenly find that I no longer recognized him, and the familiar maids and eunuchs in the Eastern Palace would suddenly seem terribly unfamiliar. I often couldn't concentrate, and studying became increasingly difficult, but I was afraid that if I said it, it would disappoint my father and the tutor, so I could only spend more time reviewing my books."
"My tireless studying was misunderstood by the palace servants as my natural diligence and love of learning. My father and tutors favored me even more, and the praise for the Crown Prince among the common people grew stronger day by day. Meanwhile, my anxiety and unease increased day by day, becoming immense. I felt as if I had stepped into an abyss with no end, and could only keep falling down."
"I live aimlessly, sometimes suddenly feeling that life is meaningless, but then I can't help but blame myself. I am ashamed of my sentimentality and fragility. So many people care about me, yet I still want to die."
"When I was ten years old, a little prince appeared in the empty Chonghua Palace."
Wei Ye came to my side.
"I treated him just normally, but he always reciprocated tenfold. I later learned that before he met me, no one had ever treated him well without reason, so he was grateful to me and regarded me as a close relative."
"In him, I saw the shadow of myself in my childhood, surrounded by servants, enjoying boundless glory, yet always feeling isolated and helpless. A strange sadness welled up in my heart. So, I always unconsciously cared for him and protected him."
"The better I treated him, the more I despised myself and felt ashamed. I was not worthy of his admiration. All the kindness I showed him was just my self-pity. To be honest, it was really bitter."
"I took the opportunity, in a joking manner, to speak frankly with him, but he said to me, word by word, 'Elder brother, don't say that.'"
"No matter what my elder brother thinks, his kindness towards me is genuine," Wei Ye said to me with utmost seriousness. "My elder brother is good to me, so I love him."
He said he loved her.
"My first reaction was overwhelming fear. My father never said the word 'love' to me; only my mother did, and she always said it when she had just hit me and was holding me and crying."
She always said, "I'm sorry, Qiong'er, I'm sorry. Your mother loves you, your mother is sorry."
"I thought love meant hurting and saying sorry."
"Now I realize that's not true."
"I burst into tears for no reason. In the instant my vision was blurred by tears, I remembered that the last time I cried was on the day my mother passed away. Three years later, my dry eyes became moist again, and I was finally able to cry my heart out again."
"When I was twelve years old, Consort Li was the most favored concubine in the harem and was given the title of Noble Consort Li."
"After my mother passed away, Consort Li often came to see me. Later, she came less and less often, probably because she could tell that I didn't like seeing her. So she stopped visiting me in person and just sent gifts over through her maids."
"I heard that she still often prays for the Empress Dowager and copies scriptures, and there is a small statue of the Heavenly Ancestor in the side hall, with incense burning continuously; I also heard that she treats Yihua very well, doing everything with utmost care and attention, but she doesn't care much about the Fourth Prince Wei Jing."
"Rumors were rampant in the palace, but most people who knew the inside story didn't really believe them."
"It's just a prayer for blessings, it takes no effort at all, anyone can put on an act. The Fourth Prince is Consort Li's biological son, while Yihua is just her sister's daughter. How could a mother love her sister's daughter more than her own son?"
"The palace servants all think that I dislike Consort Li, because I don't like her, and I have too many reasons to dislike her."
"Firstly, as the Empress's younger sister, she slept with the Emperor while the Empress was recovering from her miscarriage, and shamelessly entered the palace as a concubine while pregnant."
"Secondly, after the Empress's death, Consort Li's favor continued to grow, entirely because she had a similar face to the Empress. Who doesn't know that the Emperor loved the Empress dearly and was reminiscing about her by looking at her? Such favor is despicable."
"They're right, but they're also wrong."
"The reason I don't see Consort Li is actually the same as the reason my mother doesn't see her."
"I'm afraid that if I see her, I won't be able to hold her and cry. That scene would be too ugly and too heartbreaking."
"When I was fourteen, no one in the common people remembered that there had been a female general in the previous dynasty who had made great military achievements. Instead, there was the deceased empress who died young."
"I started having sleepless nights, and even when I did fall asleep, I would wake up in excruciating pain all over my body, covered in sweat, and unable to sleep peacefully."
"In Chonghua Palace, I met the Seventh Prince, Wei Xueyu."
"When he first came to study, he was quiet and didn't like to talk. He didn't pay much attention to others and always stayed by himself. I saw that neither Wei Ye nor Wei Jing could get close to him, so I just let him be and didn't take him to heart."
"Unexpectedly, he took the initiative to contact me."
He asked me if I was very tired.
I was stunned.
"The long-suppressed sense of bewilderment in my heart poured out, and I finally realized that it was not bewilderment, but a lifeless numbness, as if I had been soaked in tears and fear for a long time, and gradually filled with bitterness."
"That was the first time someone exposed my pretense, saw through my weakness, and forcibly pulled my hair to make me face them."
"On this ordinary, warm afternoon, I finally realized that I had already been rotting away silently."
"I just pretended not to know, and even deceived myself, thinking that as long as I could keep it a secret, the wound would eventually heal itself."
"After realizing that I was terminally ill, I gained a brief period of peace."
"I no longer think about suicide all the time."
"Since we've already survived this long, we'll just grit our teeth and keep living."
"As I grow up day by day and learn more and more, memories that I didn't want to recall or think about in my childhood resurface. I am finally able to face them and finally understand them."
"Overnight, my heart was completely transformed, and I became a completely different person."
"When I went to see my father again, his once tall and majestic figure gradually shrank, and the loud voices praising him slowly became faint and inaudible."
"I was shocked to realize that the emperor, who was revered by his ministers and the people, was just a coward. The golden crown could not hide his despicable face. The reality that he still dared not face, I, at only sixteen, was already able to face with equanimity. He was not as good as me."
"And so, for the first time, I spoke disrespectfully to my father."
"My usually gentle and kind father flew into a rage over a seemingly casual question. The memorial he threw hit me squarely in the face, and Yi Hua, who was standing nearby, was so frightened by the sight that she almost burst into tears."
"In Father's eyes was a raging thunder, but beneath that thunder lay a deep-seated fear."
"Looking into his eyes, I felt a dull pain in my forehead, but also a sense of pleasure in my chest."
"Father had the palace servants take Yihua away, and after closing the door, only the two of us remained in the hall. He asked me, 'Who was it that gossiped and told you all this gossip?'"
“It was no stranger,” I said. “Father, I remember everything that happened when I was young.”
Sure enough, he opened his eyes wide and stared at me in astonishment.
"My father thought I knew nothing and remembered nothing, but he was wrong. I actually started remembering things when I was four years old. I was too precocious and remembered everything very clearly and understood everything very well."
"Therefore, I know that the time my father and mother spent alone was not because of affection, but because of an argument."
"The powerful clans were deeply entrenched, and the new emperor's power was still weak. In order to secure his throne, the emperor had no choice but to yield to the advice of the old ministers from these clans and open up the harem. The first woman he accepted was the palace maid who had been specially arranged by the royal family to serve him."
"After that night, Father broke the promise he had made to Mother for life."
"I know the reason why my mother miscarried, because I witnessed the whole process when I was young. I heard the maid tell my mother that the palace maid was pregnant, and the eunuch delivered the imperial edict of conferment to my mother's palace. My mother clutched her chest and fainted by the bedside. Amidst the chaotic screams, I saw the bedding under my mother gradually turn red."
"I know why Consort Li, who doesn't love Father Emperor, became his concubine. As his younger sister, she entered the palace to accompany her older sister during her recovery from miscarriage, but was forced by the drunken emperor who mistook her for someone else, and ended up pregnant."
"In order to prevent her sister's beloved husband from becoming a beast who violated his wife and sister, in order to prevent her sister from being caught in the dilemma between her closest relatives and her beloved, and in order to preserve the reputation of the emperor and empress's love in the eyes of the world and the status of the Gu family in the capital, Consort Li volunteered to enter the palace and be granted a title, taking on all the infamy."
"So I also know why the Empress Dowager misses Consort Li but is unwilling to see her. I know that what truly broke the Empress Dowager was not only guilt, but also the despair of being powerless."
"After the miscarriage, her body was completely damaged. The Empress Dowager could no longer lift the spear, ride the Ferghana horse, or be a female general who fought on the battlefield."
"She hated her father's betrayal and sins, and was even more pained by her own weakness and incompetence. Her former glory and pride had been worn down to a tattered mess, reduced to dust."
"With a heart that longed to stay with Father Emperor forever, Mother Empress relinquished her military power and entered the palace as Empress. She finally paid a heavy price for her naivety. Now, having betrayed all her affections, she has returned defeated, and even the hope of liberation is a luxury."
"The highest and brightest sun and moon, the closest and most distant couple, husband and wife."
When the sea of hatred and the sky of passion recede, only the distinction between ruler and subject remains.
"I know that Father Emperor tacitly allowed Mother Empress to beat me because he was cowardly and ran away from it, and dared not face Mother Empress's anger. At the same time, he hoped that Mother Empress would calm down after venting on me, and he also hoped that my wounds would deepen Mother Empress's guilt and love, making her even more unable to leave this deep palace that imprisoned her, and even more unable to leave him."
People say that love is about cherishing and protecting, not about scolding and beating.
"But perhaps, a person's life is just a ridiculous joke played by God, so the more certain right and wrong are in the world, the more they are destined to be reversed."
"My doting father didn't truly love me. It was just that my mother left so decisively that his overflowing love had nowhere to go, so he placed it on me. But he didn't understand that love grafted in this way would only grow into guilt."
"I never blamed my mother for beating me, because I knew she didn't mean it. She didn't feel any pleasure when she hit me. If she could, she wouldn't want to live like a madwoman who had lost her mind. She just had no other choice. She really loved me and still loved me, but she was too busy taking care of herself."
"When I was young, I never recalled anything about my mother. Her tragedy and helplessness were more like a silent play that was played too early for me. I couldn't understand the meaning of the plot, like watching a fire from across the river. Later, when I grew up, I was finally able to taste the bitterness in her tears. The belated sorrow and pain suddenly welled up in my heart, following me like a shadow. Over the years, it has seeped into my skin little by little, making me pale."
"After I finished recounting my conjecture, which I had been pondering for years, I found that my father's face was as white as paper."
"I knew then that I was incredibly clever and had guessed everything correctly."
My heart trembled, the excruciating pain almost suffocating me. I laughed, but it was a laugh more painful than tears: "So...so it was all true...haha..."
"The last glimmer of hope that I had before receiving confirmation was completely extinguished."
"I, in my cowardice, have delayed today's confrontation again and again, until I can no longer turn a blind eye to my heart covered in dust. Now I can no longer exonerate my father, nor can I imagine what regrets and remorse my mother must have carried with her as she departed this world."
"...Father." I paused for a moment before saying, "I've been dreaming about Mother a lot lately."
"Every time I see her in my dreams, smiling and holding me in her arms, I think, 'If only my mother weren't my mother.'"
"If Gu Danzhu hadn't become empress, she certainly wouldn't have died so young. She didn't die because she gave birth to Yihua; she lost the will to live in the face of daily despair and died from exhaustion."
"This love story, which was sung as a beautiful tale by the people, did not nourish her; instead, it drained her vibrant and tenacious life, simply because she entrusted herself to the wrong person. It was wrong from the very beginning; she should not have become my father's wife, much less my mother."
"I would rather she had always been a stranger to me, as long as she lived a long and happy life."
"Since that day, my father no longer visits me at the East Palace often, no longer cares about me in everything, and rarely summons me."
"He finally learned of my hatred, and he must have been somewhat terrified. His own eldest son risked being beheaded to offend the emperor and commit disrespect. To see his bloodied scars exposed, how much he must have hated him."
"To my surprise, he let me go and did not punish me in the slightest. He continued to raise me as the crown prince, continued to entrust me with handling all matters of state, and continued to pretend to be a loving father and filial son in public."
"I found that I could no longer understand him."
"When I was eighteen, Wei Ye and Wei Jing broke off their friendship and became mortal enemies."
"I know nothing about what happened between them, but I couldn't bear to see Wei Ye being bullied by Wei Jing without fighting back, so I took him to find Wei Jing. I hoped they could reconcile. After all, they used to be so good friends; what deep-seated hatred could there be between brothers?"
But Wei Jing spat at me.
"I was stunned, because I saw that familiar hatred in his eyes as well."
He said to me, slowly and deliberately, "Wei Changqiong, have you stopped pretending?"
“I am not Wei Ye, I don’t need your charity, you disgust me.”
I just stood there, frozen in place, while Wei Ye retorted on my behalf: "Wei Jing, are you crazy! You can insult me all you want, but my elder brother has nothing to do with this. How dare you speak so disrespectfully to him?!"
Wei Jing stared at him and laughed: "The way you're protecting him is more pathetic than a dog. Wei Ye, you're pathetic. You think he's treating you differently just because he's nice to you? He's just as nice to cats and dogs, he doesn't know what evil is, so his heart is as kind as a god's. People with such good fortune as him will never understand what it's like for you and me to be alive."
"The argument between the two was reported to the Shengchen Hall by the palace servants, and Wei Jing was slapped by his father and confined to his quarters for three months."
"He must hate me even more now."
"I lay in bed, recalling Wei Jing's eyes and words, and suddenly I laughed, tears streaming down my face."
Am I lucky?
"Perhaps it's true. I really am lucky, because everyone says so. I was born to be the Crown Prince, loved by all the people of the world. How can that not be considered lucky? I have everything that everyone thinks is good. How can that not be considered lucky?"
"But I would rather be born lowly and worthless than have this kind of good life."
"After my coming-of-age ceremony, my health did not improve; on the contrary, my mental state deteriorated further."
"I had more and more nightmares at night, and I couldn't sleep well. During the day, I would often space out and suddenly break down emotionally with tears streaming down my face. I was afraid that people would see me, so I often kept my servants out of the room and didn't let them come into the palace to serve me."
"I could no longer concentrate. The memorials filled with text gradually became incomprehensible to me, requiring a huge amount of mental energy to finish them, which meant I had to stay up all night."
"My father finally noticed my incompetence in political affairs."
"He seemed quite dissatisfied with me as well, and he scolded me from head to toe, saying how lazy and complacent I had been these days, and how I had deeply disappointed him. I listened with my head down and eyes lowered, my posture submissive, but my heart was full of weariness and numbness."
"Exhaustion is like a soaked quilt covering me, so heavy that I can't breathe."
I said to him, “Father, please forgive my incompetence. During these days in the position of Crown Prince, I have deeply felt my lack of talent and learning, my inability to shoulder such a great responsibility, and I fear I will fail your expectations and also be ashamed before the people of the world.”
"I humbly request Your Majesty to select another virtuous and capable person to secure the foundation of the nation."
I'm tired.
"I am not spoiled by his favor, nor am I playing hard to get. I am truly exhausted and no longer want to be the crown prince. I beg him to spare my life."
"But my father misunderstood me. He was furious and bombarded me with a barrage of harsh words, as if all the resentment and anger he had been holding in had suddenly erupted."
"Do you think that just because I dote on you as my son, I can allow you to take advantage of me every day and throw tantrums at me?! I made you the crown prince, taught you with care, protected and loved you, and never let you suffer the slightest grievance. What is it that you are still dissatisfied with?!"
"Look at how I treat you, and how I treat your brothers! I'm telling you, don't push your luck! Are you trying to get revenge on me by putting on this self-destructive act? Do you think I owe you anything?" The Emperor gritted his teeth and roared, "Let me tell you, I owe you nothing! I've been more than kind to you!"
"I have wronged your mother, but you, Wei Changqiong, have no right to criticize me!"
"I stood silently, enduring my father's insults, my heart filled with despair."
"When my father saw that I was unmoved by his words, he became furious and laughed, staring at me with his red eyes. 'Fine, since you hate me so much, then I'll tell you! I'll tell you who killed your mother!'"
"You think I'm the one locking her up and preventing her from leaving? You're wrong! I gave her a chance!"
"I know she's suffered, and seeing her suffer pains me too! I personally said I'd let her go, that if she wanted, I'd make her the first empress of Dongxi to divorce the emperor, and I'd do it willingly!" The emperor's eyes reddened, his voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "But your mother... she locked herself in her palace, thinking for a whole day and night. Then she told me she couldn't leave."
"Because she can't let you go. She said she can't let go of her Joan."
"I stared at my father in disbelief, but he seemed to have gotten his revenge. He suddenly laughed, as if mocking me, while his own eyes were red and filled with heart-wrenching pain. 'You hate me, but you don't know that your mother willingly stayed in this cannibalistic palace because of you! You killed her, and the person you should hate most is yourself!'"
"A buzzing sound filled my ears, and I gradually could no longer hear my father's reprimands."
Tears welled up in my eyes, and I was trembling uncontrollably, yet I felt completely calm inside.
"A deathly stillness."
"I've long thought that the truth my father spoke of wasn't the truth, but rather a nightmare I dared not face, a fact I dared not admit."
"I know I can't admit it."
"Once I admit it, I'll have no choice but to die."
"I am the heaviest chain on my mother's body, binding her to this deep palace, so that even if she had legs to escape, she would rather stay in the deep palace until she is exhausted."
"It's all because of me."
"I wish I had never been born."
"I'm sorry, Mother."
"I wanted to cry, but my eyes were dry from the wind, and not a single tear could flow. I knelt down, my forehead touching the ground, and gave my father a full salute. I forgot what I said to him, I only remember that my steps were unsteady, as if I were walking on clouds, and I left the Holy Palace like a wandering soul."
"The sky had darkened, but the palace lanterns were bright. The dim light made the palace walls appear blood red, like the road to the underworld."
"When the servants of the Eastern Palace saw me, they all bowed, but I did not respond and walked straight past them. When I returned to my bedchamber, the Empress Dowager came and asked me a few questions, but I could not hear them."
"I said, don't let anyone in without my permission."
Everyone left the bedchamber. Finally, it was quiet.
"I extinguished the candle, and in the desolate darkness, I could only hear the sound of my own heartbeat, which gradually became deafening."
"I also felt a sense of lingering attachment, and stood silently in place for a while, just because I knew I would soon be unable to hear it again."
"After taking the arsenic, I lay on the bed, closed my eyes, and felt an unprecedented peace envelop me."
"Before I fell completely asleep, I vaguely heard Changyu calling out by the door. She came in, put something down, and then left."
"I couldn't help but recall my father's face, and all my resentment vanished, replaced by gratitude. If he hadn't spoken the truth, I might still be struggling to let go of myself."
"I don't care how the world will see me, how the court officials will talk about me, how the history books will judge me, how my father will resent me, or how my younger siblings will cry for me. I have lived for millions of others until now, and finally I can be selfish for once and die a joyful death for myself."
"My mother reached out her hand to me, and I hugged her tightly. The warm touch was just like when I was a child, except that there were no more scars and tears between us."
"I have come to this world once and know the weight of love, hate and cause and effect. My heart is not wood or stone, how could I be without feelings? I just fear that people will worry, so I swallow my tears and pretend to be happy. I lied to myself again and again, and finally I can say frankly that I am deeply weary and my heart is dry."
"If the Jade Emperor kneels and pleads first, he will never be reborn into the mortal world."
Xie Yunying pressed the pages, the spring breeze outside the window stopped, and she stopped flipping through the book, but she remained motionless, not letting go of the pages.
She couldn't believe every word she saw. If the first two side stories only surprised her, this third side story shocked her so much that she was speechless and couldn't recover for a long time.
Just then, the long-lost sound of data transmission echoed in her mind, startling Xie Yunying from her reverie. A familiar electronic voice rang out:
"Host!" the system said, "It's me! Host, can you hear me?"
Xie Yunying was overjoyed: "System!"
"You're finally back! Where have you been? Let me tell you—"
The system anxiously interrupted her: "Host, there's an urgent notification! The risk of the world collapsing in the book is escalating. I must terminate the mission and remove you from here!"
Xie Yunying was stunned: "...What? Terminating the mission? What does that mean?"
"When I upgraded the system, the main program immediately detected that our current spacetime was extremely unstable and could collapse at any time! The Transmigration Bureau has safety management regulations. In this situation, the system must immediately terminate the mission progress, extract the host, and ensure the safety of the host's consciousness. So I came back as soon as I received the notification!"
The system said urgently, "I don't know why, but the connection to this world keeps breaking. You can't hear me either, host. Every time I try to enter the world, I get stuck and can't succeed even once..."
"I was so anxious! I finally managed to log in!"
The system spoke at lightning speed: "In short, the situation is critical, and I must get the host out of here immediately!"
Xie Yunying's brain was about to overload, and she could only grasp a few key questions to ask: "Then... then what about my mission? After I leave, will I be able to come back?"
"Host, please rest assured that once the main system observes that the world has stabilized, it will issue another mission." Before Xie Yunying could even breathe a sigh of relief, the system added, "However, the time it takes for each world to return to stability is different. Some may only take a few days, while others may take ten or twenty years. It's hard to say."
Xie Yunying was dumbfounded: "Ten or twenty years?! What use would I be if I came back?"
By the time he returned, Yuan Nanjie would be almost forty years old!
System: "Don't worry, host. We will randomly assign new characters and new missions based on the progress of the world's storyline. Considering that mission progress cannot be inherited, we will also appropriately reduce the difficulty of the new missions."
Xie Yunying was stunned: "You mean... it's possible that after I come back, I won't be Xie Yunying anymore?"
"Yes."
She was no longer the second young lady of the Xie family, nor did she need to woo Yuan Nanjie anymore. Perhaps by the time she returned, Yuan Nanjie would have already fallen in love with another woman, married her, and vowed to grow old together. Someday, when she met him again, he would be surrounded by children and grandchildren.
The thought of this possibility sent a sharp, piercing pain through Xie Yunying's heart, as if she had been pricked by a needle.
The system looked at Xie Yunying's expression and asked, somewhat puzzled, "Host? Host, what's wrong?"
Xie Yunying remained silent for a long time before whispering, "...Can I...can I not change my mission?"
"I don't want to change it. I think... I think the current mission is fine, and I've been trying to win over Yuan Nanjie for so long. To redo the mission again, I..." Xie Yunying bit her lip and hurriedly said, "Or is there any way to make the world stabilize faster? I'll do anything you need!"
The system remained silent for a long time, as if it was hesitating about something, before finally speaking: "Host, it won't work."
"The reason why the world of 'Yin Ning' is on the verge of collapse is because there are too many unstable factors in this world."
"We previously thought Xie Qingyu was the only transmigrator, but now, after upgrading our technology, we've detected two other reincarnated individuals in this world." The system emitted a series of fluctuating electronic sounds, seemingly hesitant about whether to tell her, but finally did, "...The host's target, Yuan Nanjie, is one of those two reincarnated individuals."
Xie Yunying was stunned: "...What did you say?"
"Yes, host, you heard right. There are two reborn individuals. One is Princess Wei Yihua, and the other is Yuan Nanjie," the system said. "Wei Yihua is a reborn individual, while Yuan Nanjie is a reincarnation. The soul in Yuan Nanjie's body is none other than the deceased former Crown Prince, Wei Changqiong."
Seeing that Xie Yunying was completely stunned and sitting motionless in the chair, the system panicked a little: "Host, are you alright?"
"Host, host!"
I see.
It turns out that Yuan Nanjie was the Crown Prince.
No wonder, no wonder Yuan Nanjie is completely different from the character in the book, no wonder he attempted suicide again and again at the beginning, no wonder she discovered that he had severe depression.
Everything makes sense.
The system continued, "...There are just too many unstable factors, and these three people are all important characters in the world's storyline. Xie Qingyu and Wei Yihua have been influencing the protagonist Yue Yining's behavior, and the chain reaction has caused the whole world to fall into turmoil, with the danger level skyrocketing."
“If things go wrong, the host's soul could be buried here. It will be too late to leave then. We can't risk the host's life…”
A tremor ran through Xie Yunying's body, and she said in a hoarse voice, "No, I can't leave."
The system stopped speaking abruptly, never expecting Xie Yunying to say something like, "...Host, are you crazy?"
"If you don't leave now, your life will be in danger!"
"I can't leave!" Xie Yunying clenched her fist. "If Yuan Nanjie is the Crown Prince, then I absolutely cannot leave!"
"He finally opened his heart to me, he finally wanted to live, how could I..." Xie Yunying's lips trembled, her heart suddenly pounding, "How could I abandon him again..."
That's too cruel.
It was just a few thin pages, but as she read it, she frequently felt so oppressed that she couldn't breathe, and her heart ached so much that she wanted to cry. She couldn't imagine what she would become if she had experienced such a life.
She couldn't even imagine it, but this was Yuan Nanjie's past life, which lasted for more than twenty years.
She couldn't do it; she couldn't just walk away and let Yuan Nanjie, who had just emerged from the darkness, fall back into the abyss.
He clearly had fallen for her, so how could she convince herself to do something so cruel?
The system's voice turned serious: "...Host, your emotions are off. You're being too sentimental. This is just a mission. You don't need to take your experiences so seriously. Doing so will only lead to—"
"But I've already taken it seriously."
She interrupted it, her eyelashes trembling slightly, her nails almost digging into her palms.
"System, I'm sorry." Xie Yunying lowered her eyes, her voice hoarse. "I remember what you told me, but... I really can't do it."
"..." The system fell silent. "Then I'm sorry, host."
"Ensuring the safety of the host is my primary responsibility as a system."
Jin Xuan had been guarding Xie Yunying's door when she suddenly heard a loud thud coming from inside.
Not only her, but several maids by the door also heard it.
Jin Xuan quickly pushed through the crowd, rushed to the door, knocked several times, and kept calling out, "Miss? Miss, are you alright? Miss!"
Yuan Nanjie waited under the flowering tree for a long time, but Xie Yunying did not return.
Suddenly, he heard a commotion coming from the direction of Xie Yunying's bedroom. He was startled and saw people running towards it. He didn't understand what was happening, but a strange sense of panic rose in his heart.
He asked his servant to push him through the path and corridor, finally arriving at Xie Yunying's door.
Yuan Nanjie's eyes widened suddenly when he saw the scene inside the room.
Panicked maids surrounded a person, a light crimson spring dress covering the girl's body, which, when illuminated by the bright spring sunlight, looked like congealed blood.
Xie Yunying lay on the ground, her eyes closed, unconscious.
-----------------------
Author's Note: First, I have to kneel down. This chapter about the Crown Prince was so difficult to write. I've been holding back for so long, thank you all for waiting...orz
The royal secrets have all been revealed; it's essentially a great tragedy. As Lu Xun aptly put it, tragedy is about showing people the destruction of something valuable.
I've always felt that if I directly stated that the Crown Prince was Yuan Nanjie, the cause of his death would be completely revealed—suicide due to depression, right? But I feel like no one seems to have noticed [shy] hehe
Consort Li didn't tell Yihua the whole truth because she had her reservations; she planned to tell her after Yihua ascended the throne. (The Consort was a very strong, gentle, and resilient person.)
Some might wonder why the crown prince didn't just kill the emperor and then commit suicide. Well, everyone's personality is different. The crown prince was simply too kind. If he had killed the emperor, he wouldn't have developed depression. He was in great pain. He loved his parents, which is why he couldn't accept that his father had driven his mother to her death, and ultimately, the fact that he indirectly caused her death devastated him.
I saw a comment before asking how the Crown Prince would reveal the truth. It's actually Yun Ying's departure that made him realize he couldn't lose her (he finally had a strong desire and someone he wanted). So when Yun Ying returns, the Crown Prince will help her, which is essentially helping the female lead. [clasped hands]
Then there are 7 chapters left to finish the main text, and each subsequent chapter should be over 10,000 words.
The next three chapters are crucial, revealing the true image and deeds of the female protagonist, Yue Yining, in history, and bringing the hidden historical truth to light... I think these are three chapters you absolutely cannot miss!! There's a lot of key content, but I can't spoil too much here. If possible, I hope you won't skip them [pity] (I know many of you skip chapters, but please don't skip these three, sob sob).
I will try my best to update!! [clasped hands]
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com