Chapter 278 I’m Willing to Let You Go First
That night, both of them tossed and turned, unable to tell whether it was because they were nervous or too excited.
The palace walls were high and the gardens were deep and vast. In the huge Forbidden Palace, it seemed as if they were the only two people left, snuggling together.
The wind outside blew the iron horses on the eaves, and autumn had already arrived.
The two of them lay side by side on the bed, chatting idly.
"What are you going to do if I die?"
Pei Jing's voice sank. "Jiang Xiaocui, we're living a good life now. How dare you talk nonsense again?"
Jiang Fei shut up tactfully. After a while, she couldn't help but say, "But after a hundred years, people will die. Plants wither and grow, and the seasons cycle. How can there be immortality?"
"Then you are not allowed to die either." Pei Jing's voice became even harsher, arrogant and domineering.
Jiang Fei propped herself up and looked at Pei Jing in the light coming in from the outer hall.
Seeing him pursing his lips, the veins on his forehead were slightly bulging.
"I'm just joking, don't be angry." Jiang Fei soothed him, "I'm just thinking about many years later."
Pei Jing turned his face away and said in a muffled voice, "I don't like to hear this. You always say these things to irritate me."
He paused, raised his hand and touched her face, "If that day ever comes, let me go first. I'm afraid that if you're gone, I'll want the whole world to be buried with you."
By then, no matter the country or the people, they will not be able to compensate for the hole in your heart.
Jiang Fei lay back silently, hugged him tightly, and felt her heart tighten.
"Don't think about it, go to sleep." Pei Jing sighed and raised his hand to press her head into the crook of his neck.
Her whole body was wrapped in Pei Jing's breath and body temperature, a reassuring scent that belonged only to him, as if a boat that had been drifting for half a lifetime had finally docked in the harbor.
Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard an inaudible sigh.
"If that day ever comes, I'll let you go first."
Pei Jing's arms unconsciously closed, pulling her deeper into his embrace. "I'm afraid if I leave first, someone will bully you. If that happens, I won't be able to rest in peace even after I die."
This incoherent sentence precisely pierced Jiang Fei's hazy sleepiness.
She knew he was still thinking about her earlier words about life and death.
He imagined the loss, and in the agony of his imagination, he made an almost humble concession.
Jiang Fei's heart suddenly shrank, and she felt a sharp pain.
She didn't open her eyes or make a sound, but just hugged him tighter and buried her face deeply in his warm neck, as if she wanted to embed herself into his bones and blood.
A soft sound came from the night watchman in the outer hall.
Pei Jing stopped talking and just patted her back from time to time.
It took a long time, so long that his breathing became long and steady.
Jiang Fei opened her eyes in the darkness and stared quietly at the blurry dragon embroidery on the ceiling of the tent.
The iron horses under the eaves were swayed by the autumn wind again, making tinkling sounds, like someone's silent sighs, scattered in the long, lonely night of the deep palace.
…
A few days later, Princess Anping came to the palace to see Jiang Fei.
"Have you made up your mind? Are you ready to go?" Jiang Fei asked.
Princess Anping took her arm and said, "I've thought it through. I'd rather be trapped here for the rest of my life, living like a puppet, doing everything with a fake heart and a fearful expression, even laughing to preserve my status. Living like this, every day feels like a year."
She paused, looking out the window at the towering palace walls. "I want to see the misty rain of the south of the Yangtze River and the windy sand of the northern frontier that you mentioned. I'd like to find a place where no one knows me, open a small teahouse, and listen to the stories of the guests from all over the world."
Jiang Fei held her hand tightly, "Will you come back?"
"Silly." Anping said with a smile, "When you sneak out of the palace and come to see me, I will reserve the best private room for you and brew the most fragrant tea. Maybe you can come back to see my mother next year."
Jiang Fei looked at the light dancing in Anping's eyes. It was a look of freedom that she had never seen in her eyes before.
Everyone has their due destination, and everyone has found their own way, but her own way is still unclear.
Jiang Fei suddenly felt a mixture of bitterness and warmth in her heart, as if it were being flooded by warm water, yet also tightly wrapped by invisible silk threads.
"That's great." She said softly, "You can see the scenery I haven't seen."
Princess Anping held her hand in return: "Do you want to go?"
Jiang Fei nodded, then shook her head, "My path is not outside, it's right here. I'll go with him when I have the chance in the future."
Outside the hall came the sound of palace servants sweeping, the bamboo brooms scraping across the bluestone slabs, rustling like autumn rain.
Jiang Fei stared blankly into the distance.
Princess Anping was able to let go of everything she had now to pursue freedom, and when Pei Jing abolished the six palaces and defied the law for himself, and personally handed the Phoenix Seal to her, wasn't he giving her another kind of freedom?
Perhaps everyone is fighting against fate in their own way. Anping chose to leave, while she chose to stay.
As dusk fell, Princess Anping stood up and said goodbye.
When she reached the palace gate, she suddenly turned around and said, "Oh, I've already thought of a name for my teahouse. It's called Sui Xin. If possible, I'll open teahouses all over Da Zhao. If anyone dares to cause trouble, I'll say that the Empress is behind it."
Jiang Fei watched her leave with a smile, and suddenly asked, "System, how much time do I have left?"
System: "It's exactly three months. At that time, you can choose a random world line. If successful, you can continue to stay in this body."
This is the best outcome. The worst outcome is to go to a strange world and start over.
Regardless, she was able to continue living, a reward for completing the mission.
Three months, ninety days and nights, shorter than imagined.
A string of numbers suddenly appeared in front of my eyes, it was the system countdown.
"Countdown 89 days, 23 hours, and 59 minutes"
Jiang Fei suddenly turned around and walked quickly towards the Huangji Palace.
Pei Jing was reviewing memorials when he saw her rush in breathlessly. He paused and asked, "What happened?"
Jiang Fei didn't answer, but threw herself into his arms and hugged his waist tightly.
"What's wrong?" Pei Jing put down his pen and gently stroked her back. "Who made our queen unhappy?"
"Pei Jing," she raised her head, the last rays of sunlight reflecting in her eyes, "Will you accompany me for dinner every day for the next three months?"
Pei Jing laughed: "You're sweating over this? Tell me, when have I not had dinner with you, and when have I not had lunch with you?"
"What about breakfast?" Jiang Fei insisted.
Pei Jing hooked his arm around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. He leaned over to her ear and asked, "Can you get up in the morning?"
He wiped her forehead with his fingertips and said lovingly, "Okay, I'll be with you for not only dinner, but also breakfast and lunch."
Jiang Fei buried her face in his clothes and took a deep breath silently.
It was enough, three months, long enough for her to say goodbye properly, or to bet on a miracle.
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