Chapter 54 "I miss Xiaobao so much."...
This trip to Florence was wonderful, but I would describe it as "the last hurrah."
After returning from Florence, she quickly returned to her previous routine, applying for doctoral programs, writing papers, and shuttling between the research lab and the study room. Sometimes, she was so busy that she didn't even know what day it was when she looked up.
Zhong Yan wasn't much better off than her.
In October, they held their wedding at the Zhong family ancestral home. The Zhong family's collateral branches and relatives all attended the grand wedding. This wedding not only represented a ceremony, but also the transfer of power in the Zhong family. Zhong Yan officially became the head of the Zhong family, which was legitimate in every sense.
Jin Huan listened to him apologize many times.
Because he became busier, he couldn't keep his promise to spend more time with her. Frequent business trips and heavy workloads meant that his rest time was severely limited.
Jin Huan felt that it was fine, since he was busy and she was busy too, and they were both busy with their own things in their respective fields, which was good.
Fortunately, all the hard work paid off in the end with a good result.
With the help of Ms. Tan's ex-boyfriend and her own diligent preparation, Jin Huan successfully passed the assessment and the second interview, and finally received an admission notice.
Her doctoral supervisor is also a very impressive person. He is an academic fanatic who studies emerging biological fields. Jin Huan was very interested in him from the very beginning, and she was happy to be able to join his research team.
Jin Huan still had an unusual interest in these things, and Tan Xi teased her, saying that she was indeed the one who was truly suited to do research.
With Zhong Yan supporting her, she doesn't have to worry about the pressures of life or other messy things. She can devote herself wholeheartedly to her research and continue to do what she loves.
Her relationship with Zhong Yan was also very stable. In the third year of their marriage, Jin Huan brought up the issue of having children with him.
She will be pursuing her doctorate for several more years, and by then she will be at the perfect age to finish it, when she will be more mature and have a better understanding of childbirth and raising children.
Jin Huan doesn't shy away from mentioning this. Like her aunt, who is childless by choice and enjoys the life of a couple without wanting to bear the hardship of raising children, Jin Huan wants to have a child of her own with Zhong Yan, which she believes would be a happy thing.
Zhong Yan did not express any opinion on this, and it was Jin Huan who was in a difficult position.
She thought of a question about age.
She chose to have children after completing her doctorate, which was the perfect age for her, but for Zhong Yan, was it perhaps a bit too old?
He might not have a child until he's almost forty...that's the situation.
Jin Huan subtly brought it up to Zhong Yan.
She was thinking about the question very seriously, but Zhong Yan only heard the words "getting old". He had a smile on his lips, but it slowly disappeared when he stared at her. He beckoned her to come into his arms, and then pressed his hands on her shoulders and pressed his legs down on her.
This creates a strong sense of control, so oppressive that it almost makes you feel suffocated.
Zhong Yan is usually very gentle; he rarely acts like this.
Jin Huan couldn't recover from this. She felt utterly exhausted, as if she were being carried up a mountaintop and couldn't get down, her toes trembling to the extreme.
As she groaned and trembled, Zhong Yan asked her calmly if she would dare to say things like "Daddy is old" again.
Even if you get old, it's not like you can't do it anymore.
Jin Huan wanted to argue, but she was saying that Jin Huan was referring to Jin Huan's age, not that she was old or incapable. The two meanings were different, and Jin Huan shouldn't try to change the subject.
Before she could even say those words, she was already completely subdued.
Even during such a terrifying experience, Jin Huan, who couldn't open her eyes, still remembered to comfort him, her voice slurred, probably saying things like, "Daddy isn't old at all. How could someone so amazing not be able to do it? It's good that Daddy is old."
Zhong Yan listened to the coaxing words.
He didn't feel bad about his age. Just like the psychology book he read a long time ago, he always knew that age was an advantage for him.
Because he is older than her, with so many years of experience, he can guide her with his knowledge and experience, and easily support her. And coincidentally, Jin Huan likes such a person who can guide her.
During her second year of doctoral studies, at Zhong Yan's suggestion, Jin Huan chose to go abroad for an exchange program for a year.
He hoped she would experience more of life, gain more possibilities, and be able to do what she loves to the fullest extent.
During that year, Zhong Yan also temporarily shifted her work focus overseas.
Even abroad, the two rarely separated. During Jin Huan's holidays, Zhong Yan would always go to visit her. No matter how busy he was with work, he would still make time to be with her, listen to her interesting stories, accompany her to places she had never been before, or simply accompany her to do research and write papers.
They maintained a certain frequency of dating, which made Jin Huan often feel that her mindset was still stuck when she met Zhong Yan. She hadn't experienced society and therefore hadn't grown up.
It really is like raising a child.
Zhong Yan deeply understood this feeling during the year. He watched her get better and better, and when she talked to him about her research progress and proud of her achievements, Zhong Yan listened quietly to her and occasionally nodded in affirmation. He could easily make her feel satisfied and proud.
She can also be Zhong Yan's pride.
Several years after their marriage, Jin Huan still felt that their honeymoon phase hadn't ended.
From their marriage to their courtship, which lasted for several years, even after Jin Huan graduated and started working, she felt an even stronger connection than during their honeymoon, always finding that feeling of butterflies in her stomach.
These past few days, Jin Huan has been staying in the lab. She's always like this; when she gets busy, she doesn't want to eat or sleep. Zhong Yan is away on a business trip, and he's told her several times not to stay up late and to get some rest. She always agrees but then continues to fail to do so.
I finally got home early today, so I went to the supermarket and bought some things to fill up the refrigerator.
It's getting colder recently, and the weather forecast says it might snow. It seems like it hasn't snowed in the last two years, so I'm really looking forward to it.
Before leaving home this morning, I told my aunt about the clear mutton and radish soup. I had it once a while ago and have been remembering the taste ever since. When I got home, the soup was already cooked and was being heated in the pot. My aunt had already left. Today, she also specially made sweet fermented rice and lotus root starch dumplings. A hot, chewy bowl of it is also Jin Huan's favorite.
Jin Huan drank a bowl of soup and finished all the glutinous rice balls. Then she sat cross-legged on the carpet in front of the sofa and started tidying up.
New Year's Day is just around the corner, marking their fifth anniversary of getting married. Zhong Yan remembers these important dates better than she does. No matter how busy he is, he will come back, prepare gifts for her, and even have a new outfit specially made for himself beforehand.
He was always so dignified, proper, and maintained a certain sense of ritual.
Jin Huan had just finished a call with her aunt, who invited her to come home for New Year's Day and that she would cook for her personally.
Previously, my uncle cooked more often, while my aunt only liked to make small cakes and cookies or dabble in Western cuisine. In recent years, she has also fallen in love with cooking. Whenever she makes something to eat, she asks my uncle to taste it. After several rounds, her cooking skills have improved by leaps and bounds.
Jin Huan happily agreed.
Her aunt's place was like her own family home. Even now, her family still keeps a room for her, cleans it regularly, and provides her with new bedding for each season. Although Jin Huan never argues with Zhong Yan and wants to go back to her parents' home, this gives her a sense of belonging.
He hasn't replied to the message I sent to Zhong Yan two hours ago.
Jin Huan glanced at her phone again, thinking he was probably still busy.
Why is he so busy? He's so busy that he doesn't even have time to reply to her messages. He keeps telling her not to stay up late. He should take care of himself.
He's such a terrible dad!
When he gets back, we'll teach him a lesson.
Jin Huan thought to himself, feeling rather depressed.
Jin Huan grabbed her pajamas, tied her hair up, and went into the bathroom.
She hadn't cut her hair for a while; she had previously permed the ends, but her hair was too soft, and the curls were almost gone. With her hair all tied up like this, she felt that her hair was thinner than before.
There's no escaping this.
What she did was mentally taxing work. Her colleagues at the research institute were losing clumps of hair, and some were even bald in their early thirties. Jin Huan was terrified when she saw this, and all the shampoos she bought back then were anti-hair loss shampoos.
Later, I made peace with myself.
It's just like cells; they die and then grow back. Just wait for them to grow back.
Over the past few years, Jin Huan has gradually become more open-minded about things, perhaps because Zhong Yan is emotionally stable. She is very much like him in this respect, and he even taught her some things by hand.
It's a perfect time for a bath when it's cold, but since Zhong Yan wasn't home, Jin Huan wasn't really in the mood for one. She took a quick shower and came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel.
It's so dry this season, so she likes to apply extra body lotion.
Thinking that she would be sleeping alone again tonight, Jin Huan thought she might as well continue working in the study. The bed was so big, it was really pitiful to sleep alone, and the blankets were all empty.
Jin Huan was in the study when she received Zhong Yan's call.
He called less than half an hour after she sat down. It was very quiet on the other end, and she couldn't hear anything unusual. Jin Huan paused for a moment, about to speak, when Zhong Yan's voice came through.
"Are you asleep?" His voice was slightly deep and his tone was calm.
"No, I didn't." Jin Huan glanced at the time, feeling a little guilty. It was only a little past ten o'clock, not exactly late, so she answered truthfully, "I still have some work to finish... I'm going to sleep right away."
The softer she spoke, the less confident she seemed to be about to go to sleep. But despite her lack of confidence, it was clear that she wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.
"Hmm," Zhong Yan responded. Then there was a slight sound as he explained why he hadn't replied immediately, which was probably what Jin Huan had guessed. He didn't say anything more and hung up the phone.
Jin Huan put her phone aside and continued working.
Before she knew it, another hour or so had passed. Jin Huan got up, dragged her slippers downstairs to find something to eat and drink.
It was pitch black outside, and the winter night air was filled with a chill and desolation. This was the downside of having a big house; it felt empty and eerie to live alone. Jin Huan poured herself a glass of warm water and slowly drank it.
After drinking half a glass of water, she put the glass down and heard a deep voice behind her: "Enjoy."
Jin Huan turned around in surprise.
Her lips were still moist from drinking water, like freshly watered flower petals. She looked at the person in front of her, who looked travel-worn. His coat was as neat as usual, but the corners were ruffled by the cold wind. His face was shrouded in shadow, and only his dark eyes were particularly striking.
Even after all these years, Zhong Yan's appearance hasn't changed much. He insists on exercising, controlling his diet, and is extremely strict with his body. Time has only given him more refinement and a more reserved look. When he occasionally faces her helplessly, he gently presses his eyes... making Jin Huan want to call him Dad even more.
Before they have children, such flirtatious terms of address are really harmless and will only make him want to do what he wants to her.
Hearing his wife call for her father in a sobbing voice, he remained silent and only made things worse, which became a source of amusement for him.
This has become increasingly true in recent years.
And he remained tolerant of her in this regard as always.
When Jin Huan stared at him with those eyes, he knew she liked him, so he would always pull her into his arms, hold her close, and ask knowingly, "Why are you staring at me like that?"
Because you are very beautiful.
Jin Huan always answered honestly and obediently, easily pleasing him.
His restrained eyes held intense emotions. Jin Huan only softly asked, "You're back," before the words had even faded, he was already in front of her, embracing her and burying his face in her neck and shoulders.
The man's broad frame loomed over her, his arms tightening around her, pulling her completely into his embrace. His breath was still tinged with the chill of the outside air, his nose was cold, and he inhaled deeply as he pressed his lips against the skin of her neck.
His longing was laid bare at that moment.
Zhong Yan felt as if he were inside a sealed glass jar. He could see clearly but was having difficulty breathing. His voice also seemed to come from inside the glass jar, sounding muffled.
I miss Xiaobao so much.
He buried his head even deeper.
The longing even seems to overflow from the seal of this glass jar.
Every time he returns from a business trip, the first thing he does is hug her. His longing for her is ingrained in his very bones, just like a child needs a pacifier. Jin Huan often feels that she has taken on that role.
"Why didn't you tell me you got off the plane?" Jin Huan felt his hands around her waist and asked softly with concern, "It must be so cold outside, right?"
Realizing he had brought coldness to his wife, Zhong Yan lifted his head from the crook of her neck. Perhaps because she was warm, his icy expression melted away in the crook of her neck, only his eyes remained dark.
"Sorry, are you cold?" Zhong Yan got out of the car at the gate, answered a phone call before entering, so he was inevitably chilly and his hands were icy cold.
Zhong Yan clenched his fist, trying to warm himself up as quickly as possible.
Zhong Yan lowered his brows slightly, looking a bit stern, and asked her again, "Didn't you say you were going to sleep?"
Just as her little lie was suddenly exposed, Jin Huan opened her mouth, but the words slowly flowed out: "No... I still have some things to finish."
Zhong Yan stared at her, his tone calm: "Jin Huan, what kind of lesson do you think there should be for lying to Daddy?"
Jin Huan felt a chill on her back.
She tried to argue: "It wasn't intentional. You're usually the most reasonable person, you should know that I'm also very busy with work. If I don't finish on time, it will delay everyone's progress."
"This is just as important as your project."
He has always been very supportive of her career and encouraged her to do what she loves. Even though Huan is being reasonable, she still knows how to turn the tables: "It's not like I'm staying up all night playing games, it's a serious matter, you can't be unreasonable."
Zhong Yan's tone remained calm, but his eyes held a strong sense of pressure: "Xiao Bao, you know Daddy, he never reasones at times like this."
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