Chapter 140 Coward
Meng Han turned his gaze away from her, took a deep breath, calmed his inner restlessness, and spoke slowly.
"You don't mind, but I do."
"Yu Huan, all those reasons I gave for not touching you before were just excuses. The real reason is that I don't like myself losing control."
"I admit that I have a strong desire for your body, but I am unwilling to succumb to desire. Do you understand me?"
Yu Huan didn't like hearing him say that. He attributed everything to desire, which meant that he only had desire for her and no feelings.
Grasping his hand tightly, she moved closer to his face, making him look her straight in the face.
"Only desire? Is that all you desire for me?"
Meng Han looked at her, his eyes had returned to their normal state, "Yes, only desire."
Yu Huan stared at him for a long time, until her eyes felt sore and dry. She let go of Meng Han's hand, lowered her eyes, and murmured.
"I don't believe it."
"If it's just desire, then you should touch me. Isn't it because you cherish me that you don't touch me?"
Meng Han interrupted her mumbling, "I just said, I don't touch you, just because I don't want to be driven by desire."
"Compared to touching you, conquering desire gives me a greater sense of accomplishment."
These words hit Yu Huan's heart like a heavy hammer, hurting her so much that she could hardly breathe.
The feeling was no less than when Meng Han pinched her just now, and even more uncomfortable than that.
"I don't believe it, I don't believe it!"
She raised her head and stared at Meng Han with her eyes wide open, tears streaming down her face, filled with anger and grievance.
"Do you think I'm a fool? Do you think I'll believe you? I have a heart, I can feel it myself. I know best whether you like me or not!"
"You could have told me the truth, but you had to trample on this relationship in this way. Do you know how precious it is to me?"
She was very angry, she was really angry. She was not angry that Meng Han didn't like her, she knew he liked her.
He just likes her.
What made her angry was that she had already done this much, but he was still unwilling to face this relationship.
He also denied the relationship, which she couldn't accept.
No matter how proactive she is, she still has self-respect.
"You..." She bit her lip and looked at Meng Han, unable to utter the word "coward". Finally, she took a deep breath, held back all her tears, threw a word to him, and turned and left.
"You're a coward, and I don't want to like you anymore."
The door of the study opened and closed. Meng Han stood there. Yu Huan's departure felt like a piece of his heart was hollowed out, leaving him feeling empty.
She was right, he was a coward.
He knew his own nature too well. He didn't have the confidence that he could give her a healthy relationship, he didn't have the confidence that he could keep her by his side without getting hurt, and he didn't even have the confidence that he could control himself around her.
His desire for her was too strong, so strong that it was beyond his control. He couldn't even imagine what he would do to her if he didn't treat her with consideration.
She is such a well-behaved girl, she should at least have a normal relationship with a normal person.
Instead of being with a lunatic like him.
He raised his hands to cover his face, his shoulders slumped, and he stood alone in the middle of the house. For the first time in his life, he felt what it meant to be powerless.
Fatigue consumed his whole body. He slowly squatted down and buried himself among the words and ink.
After a few seconds, he looked up suddenly and remembered that Yu Huan was still wearing pajamas.
It’s fine that he didn’t know when she ran over in her pajamas, but now, there’s no way he could let her go back in her pajamas.
He stood up and quickly left the study, went to the cloakroom to get a coat, and went down to the garage to drive.
Yu Huan cried all the way out of Meng Han's house. Her tears never stopped and her face was a mess.
She had never cried so hard in her life, as if she wanted to cry all the water out of her body.
She didn't want to cry like this, but she couldn't control herself and just wanted to cry.
Fortunately, there were not many people on this road, and no one would notice her current plight.
Just when she was crying so hard that her eyes were blurred and she could hardly see the road, a male voice came from the side of her.
"Yu Huan?"
She subconsciously turned her head to look over, her eyes blurred with tears. After wiping away her tears twice, she could see the person in front of her clearly.
"Teacher Huang?"
It turned out to be her baking teacher Huang Yiran.
Huang Yiran was riding an electric scooter, wearing a helmet that only covered his head, and was looking at her with his head tilted.
When he saw that it was really her, there was surprise in his eyes.
"Is something wrong with you?" He quickly got out of the car and walked quickly to Yu Huan.
Yu Huan turned around, wiped the tears from her face, and shook her head, "It's okay, I'm fine."
"You said it was okay, but you..." Huang Yiran looked at her wrinkled pajamas and her red and swollen eyes, and his heart tightened.
"Do you want me to call the police for you?"
Yu Huan was confused by his sudden words. After he came to his senses, he lowered his head and looked at himself, then he understood.
"No, it's not what you think. You misunderstood."
There was still some doubt in Huang Yiran's eyes, but seeing that she denied it decisively, he didn't insist anymore and didn't even ask her what happened.
"So where are you going now? You can't just walk down the street like this, can you?"
When Yu Huan came, he was impulsive and didn't think too much about it. When he left, he didn't think too much about it either.
If Huang Yiran hadn't reminded her, she might have gone back in a daze.
Now that she realized that something was wrong with her, she began to feel embarrassed.
"I...I'm at the gate of the community, call a taxi."
"Then I'll take you to the entrance of the community. It's still some distance from here." Huang Yiran pointed to the electric bike parked on the side of the road.
Yu Huan looked over and saw the logo of a certain cake shop spray-painted on the electric scooter. She knew that shop was Huang Yiran's own bakery.
I think he appears here to deliver an order.
"Will it delay you?"
Huang Yiran waved his hand, walked towards the electric car, and took out a coat from the trunk, "I have finished delivering it and am about to go back now."
As he said that, he handed the coat to Yu Huan and said, "Put this on."
Yu Huan took the coat and said, "Thank you."
Huang Yiran chuckled, "Why thank me? I am your teacher after all. Once a teacher, always a father. As your old father, this is not what I should do."
Yu Huan knew that he was teasing her, but she was in no mood to laugh, so she pulled the corners of her mouth together as a way of cooperating.
Huang Yiran didn't care. After she put on her coat, he put the only helmet on her head.
Yu Huan was just about to say that she would do it herself, but Huang Yiran had already put it on for her.
Meng Han drove out and happened to see this scene. He clenched his hands on the steering wheel and suddenly felt an urge to get out of the car and pull her back from the man.
In the end, he did nothing. He sat in the car and watched Yu Huan get into the man's car and leave with him.
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