Return quickly
Noxus calendar year 975, spiritual realm
Before the rainbow-adorned main gate of Bandle City, Poker and Jimmy, two "honored scouts," strained to straighten their small chests, where a "Medal for Helping Strangers" hung. Standing on a makeshift mushroom-shaped stool, they addressed the growing crowd of their furry compatriots, announcing in voices as solemn as possible, yet still high-pitched:
"Quiet down! Residents of Bandle City! Attention!" Pok waved a blade of grass, still glistening with dew, which served as his scepter. "We, Pok, and Jimmy! After overcoming countless hardships—mostly dodging those deafening 'bang bang bang' sounds—we successfully carried out a perfect rescue mission from that dangerous material world called Besilico!"
Jimmy eagerly stood on tiptoe to add, "We've rescued a citizen of our human allies in distress! Look, it's that little girl Alice, with silver hair, as quiet as moonlight, sitting on a dandelion swing! We strictly followed the great Bandle Scout Oath! We will give her the warmest shelter!" He pointed to Alice, who was surrounded by little yodels not far away, curiously trying a "color-changing berry" that changed its taste as she chewed it.
The young yordles watching erupted in enthusiastic "Wow!" and applause, mixed with cheers of "Poker Jimmy is awesome!" and "Welcome, Alice!"
Alice, seeing everyone clapping and looking at her, joined in with a "Wow!" clapping. The whole scene was both warm and chaotic, filled with pure yodal joy.
However, this pure joy, as it was transmitted through the Yodals' unique, dynamic, and highly imaginative information network, began to spread like a pebble thrown into a lake, creating ripples that kept changing and expanding...
——Ionian Country Roads in Autumn
An elderly scholar, seemingly a wandering scholar carrying a satchel—actually Ye Yan, a Yodl elder and "Thinker" with a passion for philosophy—rested by the roadside with a farmer driving an oxcart. Gazing at the swirling clouds over the distant mountains, Ye Yan appeared to be talking to himself, but in reality, he was using an ancient Yodl technique, a method that resonated with the spirit of nature, to receive a vague message carried on the wind from a distant relative: "I've heard of a wondrous sight appearing in the distance, dazzling silver threads, clear crimson eyes, sitting still like a lotus, moving as if riding on flying catkins..."
The farmer drank water from the bamboo tube and smiled憨厚ly: "Old sir, you speak so kindly. I also overheard a passing peddler say a few words about it; it seems to be a rather rare child, liked by everyone wherever he goes—truly a blessing." Ye Yan stroked his beard and smiled.
—Demacia, the City of Heroes, Winter
A yodal scout named "Fluff," disguised as an elderly woman selling knitted hats, was setting up a stall at the market. Her hats were crookedly knitted, but their colors were so vibrant they looked like a spilled palette. Another yodal companion, "Bouncy," disguised as a mischievous boy, pretended to knock over her basket. As he helped her pick up the hats, he whispered quickly:
"Hey Fluffy, there's encrypted pollen communication back home! Didn't someone come? I just overheard some wind sprites chatting, and the news has escalated! Apparently, it's more than one! It's supposedly a small human delegation, possibly on a secret friendly visit! The same group that Pok and Jimmy hosted! They're probably quite high-ranking!"
Rongmao's eyes lit up instantly, and she almost dropped the knitting needle in her hand: "A delegation? A secret visit? Good heavens! We need to prepare some decent gifts that reflect Demacia's rigorous style! Is my rainbow unicorn hat formal enough? Should I add a glow-in-the-dark flower pattern?" She had already started planning how to rush to make a batch of "diplomatic hats" overnight.
—Outside the walls of Noxus's capital city, in summer
A yodal scout nicknamed "Hardstone," disguised as a veteran and bearing grotesque painted scars on his face, squatted by a campfire outside a military camp, drinking weak ale while secretly adding honey he'd brought from his hometown. Another yodal companion, nicknamed "Pipe," disguised as a soldier selling cheap tobacco, approached to borrow a light. Amidst the flickering sparks, he muttered in coded language mixed with yodal slang:
"Damn it, Hard Rock! Urgent intelligence from the mole tunnels back home! A huge group of humans have arrived! Who knows how they managed to break through the outer defenses! What do you think they're up to? Noxus just finished clashing with Demacia, and now a large number of unidentified people are showing up back home? Could it be that they've got their eyes on our rat forest and want to take advantage of the chaos to plunder our strategic resources?"
Hard Rock tried to project a Noxian ferocity into his eyes, touching the dagger at his waist—actually a blackened wooden sword: "Hmph, dare to touch our rat forest? You'll have to ask my 'old wounds' first! I need to hurry back and get the master craftsmen to bring out those 'itching powder bombs' and 'funny bubble launchers'!"
—Bilgewater Pirate Tavern, Spring
A seemingly drunken old sailor, wearing a one-eyed patch—his "blind" eye actually peeking at the grilled fish on the bar—was patting a drowsy man on the shoulder, loudly babbling in a crying voice. In reality, he was using the unique sonic waves of the Yordles, capable of resonating with marine life, to transmit a message:
"Urgent intelligence! Our home has been invaded by humans! It's the human army! They've breached the magical defenses of the gates in massive, sailless, black-smoke-belching steel monster ships! They definitely want to seize our Fountain of Joy, steal all the laughing sunflowers, and turn Bandle City into their military base! Repeat, humans are attacking Bandle City! All you able-bodied folks, forget about the immediate gains! Set sail! Uh, no, use your fastest methods—go through the conch tunnel, ride dolphins, or hitch a ride with a seagull! Return! Return! For Bandle City! For the sake of laughter that won't be stolen!"
—Deep in the frigid ice plains of Freljord
A Yordle explorer, disguised as a moving snowdrift named "Ice Shard," is tracking an aurora borealis. A faltering ice butterfly, trembling through the blizzard, delivers a message—embellished and distorted along the way—to him with its last bit of magic. The snowdrift "Ice Shard" instantly "explodes," revealing its shivering, terrified, furry form. With all its might, it sends a chilling, piercing magical warning, carried on the wind and snow, to all its potential kin in the distance:
"Terrible news! Terrible news! Bandle City... our beautiful Bandle City... has fallen! Homes destroyed, mushroom fields trampled, candy trees felled, even the most tenacious Haha Grass has lost its laughter! The human army has swept everything in its path, and it's said... it's said there's only one survivor! A silver-haired human child, possibly the only eyewitness! She is our last hope! Brothers! Sisters! What's the point of exploring? What's the point of digging for ancient ice worms?! Come back and save us! Gather all our strength and fight those evil human invaders! For the lost joy!... uh, no, for Bandle City!"
This final "catastrophic" alert swept through the entire Yordle intelligence network like an avalanche. Thus, in every corner of the material world, countless Yordles, regardless of their current disguise—the elegant nobles of Demacia, the ruthless mercenaries of Noxus, the devout monks of Ionia, the shrewd craftsmen of Piltover, the scavengers of Zaun, even the wraiths of the Shadow Isles or the stargazers of Mount Targon—all received at some point this increasingly terrifying order, ultimately declaring "Homeland destroyed, only one survivor"—a "SSS-level home in peril, return immediately" command.
The Demacian "nobles" suddenly "fell ill" and needed to return to their hometown to recuperate, running faster than the frightened woodland elves.
Noxian "mercenaries" either "expired their contracts" or "relapsed their old injuries," and fled the military camp overnight, even taking away a few "heavy weapons" that looked like they could deal with the "human army."
The scholars of Ionia didn't even have time to pack up their scriptures; they used the ways of nature to transform into gentle breezes or small animals and rush forward at top speed.
The Bilgewater "pirates" abandoned their half-looted merchant ships and half-finished rum, turning around and frantically rowing or scrambling sea monsters in completely wrong directions.
The Yordles of Freljord, with solemn expressions and ancient war songs, abandoned the mammoths they had hunted and the hot springs they had discovered, and began an epic migration aimed at the nearest point to the portal to Ban'er City in the south.
An unprecedented, chaotic, yet passionate and responsible war for the homeland, waged by the Yordles, has begun.
Countless Yordles flocked towards Bandle City in all sorts of bizarre ways—burrowing underground, activating unstable teleportation scrolls, riding their own strange, potentially disintegrating flying machines, and even riding wild magical creatures that had agreed to help only after fierce negotiations (usually with a bunch of berries). Like rivers flowing into the sea or bees swarming together, they rushed towards Bandle City.
Filled with grief and indignation, they rubbed their hands together, ready to fight to the death against the "evil, powerful, and homeless human invaders" they had imagined.
Meanwhile, Bandle City was still filled with laughter and joy. Alice was trying a new kind of cotton candy that tasted like rainbows, completely unaware of the huge blunder that was about to happen.
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