robbery
The northern wilderness knows no politeness. It will only slap your face with sandstorms, prick your feet with gravel, and tell you with its endless emptiness: here, you are nothing. But coincidentally, I, Kree, am the expert at dealing with all kinds of dissent.
"Damn it, this wind!" I spat on the ground, the sand hitting my goggles with a crackling sound. "Skaarl! Are you fucking going against the wind again? You idiot, are you trying to make me eat dirt?"
Skaar snorted and shook his head, his scales gleaming with a matte, black iron sheen in the dim light. This beast's hide was thick enough to stop an arrow, but it was cowardly as a flea.
"Gurgle... Uh-oh." She made an unintelligible sound, slowly shaking her head.
"Talking back? Huh? Do you think this wind is blowing quite comfortably? Huh?" I cursed and was about to kick her when I felt the back of my head sink into an amazingly soft place.
Fuck Alice!
This dizzy girl insisted on sitting behind me, saying she was uncomfortable being tied up. Now, look what's happened—her two heavy, warm "papayas" are pressing solidly on my head, squeezing my skull with every swaying step of Sgar. I feel like my soul is about to float off my head from this soft weight!
"You fucking back off me!" I yelled, straining my neck, trying to escape the agonizing pressure. "Trying to shove my neck into your chest, you stupid girl!"
Alice's voice came from above me, sounding a bit sleepy and aggrieved: "But Kree, there's nothing to lean on behind me, I'll fall..." As she spoke, she seemed to tighten her arms around my waist to maintain her balance, pressing her soft breasts against me even more firmly.
Holy crap! A surge of adrenaline rushed to my head, almost blinding my remaining eye. I cursed at the top of my lungs: "I might as well fall down and feed the wolves! Saves me the trouble! Skaarl! You fucking watch your step! You're shaking me to death!"
But inside... damn it, this feeling... isn't bad at all. Soft and warm, like two loaves of freshly baked, over-fermented bread, just a little stuffy. I, Kled, have roamed Valoran for so many years, I've killed more people than this girl has eaten, when have I ever suffered this kind of "injustice"? But this injustice... why is it making me a little dizzy?
"Gurgle?" Skaar seemed to notice my unusual behavior and turned to look at me.
"What are you looking at! Focus on the road! You stupid lizard!" I quickly retorted to cover up my guilty conscience.
Just as I was enduring this torture while my mind was in turmoil, Skaar's ears suddenly perked up, and a low warning growl came from his throat. I squinted and looked ahead—at the narrow entrance to the valley, seven or eight figures stood crookedly, their weapons gleaming menacingly in the afterglow of the setting sun.
"Ha!" I instinctively tried to grin, but as I moved my head, the back of my head sank even deeper into the softness, making my laughter sound different. "Look...see it, the warmth has arrived!" My voice was a little strained.
As soon as we approached, a guy with a scar on his face and a missing front tooth stepped forward, brandishing a chipped machete: "This mountain is mine! This tree is... uh, there aren't any trees here. Anyway! Leave your toll! And that little wench behind you! Otherwise, I'll chop all three of you up!"
The scum behind him burst into laughter.
Before I could even speak, Skaar chickened out, growling as he took a step back. That step back startled Alice, who screamed and pressed her chest against my back, her arms squeezing me so tightly I almost suffocated.
"Damn it... let... let go!" I cursed, my face flushed, as I struggled to steady myself. I pulled the long-handled axe from my back and slung it over my shoulder. The movement was a little awkward because I didn't dare move too much, afraid of shaking her off—mainly afraid that the deadly touch would disappear. Pah! I was afraid she'd fall to her death!
"Toll? You little wench?" I tried to make my voice sound fierce, but the soft touch on the back of my head dampened my momentum a bit. "When I was marking my territory by peeing in this area, you were all still wearing open-crotch pants! Get lost!"
Scarface was stunned for a moment, clearly having never encountered someone who seemed to enjoy making threats at the same time. "Old man, scared out of your wits?" His eyes turned fierce. "Look at this monstrosity you're riding, and your short stature plus that burdensome woman, you probably can't withstand more than a few blows from the brothers!"
"Short? A burden?" I felt the blood rush to my head, and this time I was really angry. "Skaar! Did you hear that? He called me short! He also called me... my hostage!" I almost let it slip.
Skaar snorted.
"I may be short, but killing someone like you is child's play! As for this girl..." I paused, feeling the warmth behind me, and suddenly blurted out, "She... she could knock out all of you scum with a fart! Believe it or not?"
Alice whispered behind me, "Kree, I can't..."
"Shut up!" I quickly interrupted her.
The bandits exchanged glances, and Scarface spat, "Damn it, lunatic! Brothers, charge!"
The battle erupted. I urged Skaarl to charge; that beast, though cowardly, was incredibly fast. I swung my long-handled axe, hacking left and right. Alice clung tightly to me, her soft breasts bouncing above my head with Skaarl's charge, making me uneasy and nearly causing me to miss with my axe.
"You fucking... hug me all you want! Don't move!" I yelled as I chopped at her, not sure if I was cursing her or myself.
Skaar charged and spun, creating chaos. Alice seemed completely unfazed, occasionally letting out soft gasps from the jolting, each gasp accompanied by a tighter embrace and a more intimate hold.
"Fly! Kree, faster!" she shouted, even with a hint of excitement.
I'm here to kill people! Not to give you some weird "wilderness racing" plus "head massage" experience!
Scarface, seeing most of his men lying on the ground, lunged forward with bloodshot eyes. Just as I was about to meet him, that idiot Skaarl was startled by something flying from the side and jumped back. My body lurched to the side, Alice screamed, and my entire upper body weight pressed down, obscuring my vision to almost nothing.
In that moment of distraction, Scarface's knife nearly struck me. I broke out in a cold sweat, flew into a rage, and sent him back to his hometown with an axe.
Seeing this, the remaining bandits took off running.
I was panting heavily, feeling a wet patch on my back, unsure if it was sweat or something else. Alice was still pressed against my back, whispering, "Kree, why did they stop playing?"
I glared at her, noticing her collar had slightly opened from the jolting, revealing a small patch of pale skin. I quickly turned back, snarling, "Playing? I'm risking my life! They're dead! Understand? Dead! And you better sit up straight!"
She slowly straightened up, and the overwhelming, soul-stirring pressure finally lessened considerably. I was actually… a little lost? Pshaw!
I nudged Skaar: "Go see if there's anything valuable."
Skar went to rummage through the corpse. I touched the few copper coins I'd looted in my pocket, feeling the lingering warmth and soft touch on my back, and muttered curses:
"Damn it, what a loss. A few coppers... not even enough to compensate me for my emotional distress..." I secretly sniffed, as if I could still smell a faint fragrance from her hair, so out of place in this wasteland. "Skaar! It's all your fault! If you hadn't jumped around like that, would I... would I have messed up? You're out of jerky tonight!"
"Gurgle?!" Skal cried out in grievance.
Alice leaned back against my back gently, but this time it was just a light touch. "Kree, I'm hungry."
“…Eat, eat, eat! All you ever think about is eating!” I yelled, but subconsciously slowed down Skaar’s pace to make sure his steps were steady.
The setting sun cast long shadows of us. The wind still blew across the wasteland, but it seemed...not so cold anymore? Damn it!
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