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"Let's end the three-month period here."
His voice was hoarse, suppressed, and slowly revealed.
Song Ling lowered her eyes, her hand holding the cup aching slightly.
"Has the general made up his mind?"
"I..." Yu Baizhou suppressed the heaviness and bitterness in his heart and replied, "Yes."
It felt like a mountain was pressing down on my heart.
It was as if it were being roasted by a raging fire.
"good."
Song Ling stood up and looked at him calmly: "I already know. It's too late today, General, please rest."
Yu Baizhou stood there, staring blankly at her back.
For the first time in his life, he felt his own cowardice and confusion.
Why did it have to come to this? Why did it have to be this way?
Since he loves her, he shouldn't let go...
But for her to marry into a wealthy family would truly be a disgrace to her talents...
Two voices within my heart cursed and tore at each other, causing me a mix of cold and heat, sourness and pain from head to toe...
He seemed to be going crazy, or he seemed to be dying.
But he is clearly still standing here perfectly fine.
Song Ling, however, had already left the camp and disappeared.
The sky is dotted with stars, and the vast wilderness is sparsely populated.
Song Ling sat by the roadside, groping for the copper coins her master had left behind.
"Don't you feel cold sitting here at night?" Ji Chang asked, lifting his robe to sit beside her. He sighed, "You're back. Can I leave now?"
Song Ling scoffed, "Do you hate the military camp that much?"
I wouldn't say I agreed, but I didn't disagree either.
"You know I've always been reluctant to get involved in worldly affairs. I love the martial world, the wild forests, and the boundless lakes and seas... but I just don't want to get involved in mortal matters."
Ji Chang casually grabbed a handful of withered leaves from the side, crushed them with one hand, and scattered them into the air: "I'm like these fragments, drifting like this. When I die one day, I'll die under some tree, in a river, in the wilderness... to be torn apart by wild beasts and the wind and rain, and after many years, my bones will be buried in the ground..."
"When a person dies, their soul dissipates, and that's enough for this life."
“But first and foremost, you are a member of Huailai Sect.” Song Ling threw a pebble, knocking away the few fallen leaves that hadn’t yet hit the ground, ruthlessly crushing his thoughts: “With the world in such a state, if all the disciples were like you, what would be the meaning of Huailai’s existence?”
What is the meaning of our existence?
“A-Ling, you’re too persistent.” Ji Chang glanced at her, without dissatisfaction or sarcasm, simply stating, “Generation after generation, year after year.”
Is it really worth it for this so-called mission left by our ancestors?
"Once he ascends the throne, Huailai will once again be forced to forget. Who will remember you, remember me, remember all of us?"
Ji Chang was not a person who valued fame and fortune, but he never understood the meaning of this whole process.
Ji Chang: "Of course, General Yu will remember, and those around him will remember. But what about afterwards? Even if he is truly destined by fate... according to Huai Lai Xian's decree, he can only take this secret to the imperial mausoleum."
"Ah Ling, you are the sect leader, you will get nothing."
"The same is true of Huailai."
"Then why bother with all your heart and soul, and devote yourself to this?"
Thinking of this, Ji Chang sighed: "Throughout history, there has never been a shortage of those who were righteous and awe-inspiring, who devoted themselves to their cause and died for it; nor has there been a shortage of those who defied the world's opinion, upheld justice, and remained steadfast throughout their lives." (Note 1)
"But at least they suffered in this life, and their story will be recorded in history for all time to come."
“And what about you?” Ji Chang countered, “what will you gain?”
Song Ling paused for a moment, then asked in return, "Do you think those sages and worthies had already foreseen their posthumous fame? Do you think they did it for the sake of leaving a name for posterity and eternal praise?"
Ji Changkak said in an instant: "But even so..."
“No,” Song Ling said coldly, “They are not like that at all. They are truly for the sake of the people, for the survival of the common people, for the principles in their hearts, and for the righteousness in their hearts.”
Ji Chang had assumed that Song Ling would continue in this manner, but he was surprised to receive a completely different answer.
“But I am different, I can’t do it either…” Song Ling smiled, looked at him with a sigh, and said without reservation, “They are fearless of life and death and follow the path, but I am afraid of death.”
“They dedicated their lives to the people and to the righteousness in their hearts, without seeking fame, without regretting their deeds, and without fearing martyrdom, but I seek to live.”
The sadness in her eyes was almost overflowing.
Ji Chang stood there, stunned, his lips moving slightly, unsure of what to say.
"Are you hiding something from us?"
Unfortunately, he was destined to receive no reply from Song Ling.
The atmosphere between the two fell silent again.
It wasn't until Song Ling spoke again, sighing, that she said, "You can leave tomorrow, but before that, I need your help."
Ji Chang: "What kind of help?"
Song Ling took out a letter from her sleeve, handed it to him, and gently pressed down his hand as he was about to open it, saying slowly, "Open it when you reach your next destination."
Ji Chang: "So mysterious."
Song Ling: "Whether you help or not is entirely up to you. I hope to see you again when that time comes."
Ji Chang is capable; otherwise, Song Ling wouldn't have thought of him first before leaving the Southern Frontier.
However, he was by nature carefree and unwilling to experience the wickedness of the world or to engage in hypocritical dealings with complex people.
Song Ling did not intend to make things difficult for him, so she left the decision to him.
"I will seriously consider it." Ji Chang could roughly guess what was going on; it was probably something he was unwilling to do again.
Seeing Song Ling smile and stand up, he called out to her, reminding her, "You should know the gate rules best, don't get too close to the lord... this is not good for you."
Song Ling paused slightly, then nodded, "No more..."
“Qi Ying is acting strangely, Ji Chang. She’s not the same Qi Ying she used to be… People change, and not everyone can stay true to themselves.” Song Ling lowered her eyes and offered a final word of advice: “Don’t be so fixated on her. You’ve given me this advice, and I’ll give you one too.”
"You and she are not meant to be; you will only hurt each other."
Ji Chang remained silent for a while, but still managed a smile: "I'm not as old as I used to be, yet you still care about me like this."
"Don't worry." Ji Chang stood behind her and patted her shoulder. "But you, take care of yourself."
Song Ling did not respond further, nor did she turn around.
But after walking a few feet, the person behind him suddenly lifted his robe and knelt down, performing a door-entrance salute, and said softly, "Take care on this parting."
He was merely offering words of comfort, yet he knew that everyone has their own pursuits.
He yearned for the wild wind and freedom, and perhaps that's what Song Ling was also seeking.
In reality, he dared not think too deeply about it; it was simply that Song Ling had no choice but to seek this.
Song Ling looked up, and the stars in the sky were still so bright.
The darkness and viscous feelings in my heart seemed to be laid bare...
But she felt that she had done nothing wrong.
Ji Chang didn't understand, but every word she said was true.
All she wanted was to live.
That's all.
But it's harder than climbing to heaven.
Heaven is like a performer, manipulating the world and all its people.
And she was a puppet.
The threads binding her body could not be broken, nor could the white robe she was dressed in be torn off.
Even so, she's no saint. Because she has selfish motives, because she... has personal interests.
She felt more like a "half-human," having been tormented over the years to the point of being neither human nor ghost.
But in the end, she is just an ordinary person.
Ji Chang's words truly placed her on a pedestal.
The altar is too cold for her, and she cannot bear the responsibility.
If one day, Song Ling thought, she would still prefer to be an ordinary person. She also hoped to ride a horse in the wilderness, brew a pot of tea in a secluded bamboo forest, climb to the top of the snow-capped peak... tear off this white robe, and burn away the countless long threads.
She wanted to be herself.
If there is an opportunity.
If there is an afterlife.
If, if.
And now, she is still Song Ling, Song Shiqi, and the sect leader of Huailai.
Song Ling walked down and returned to the military camp.
She had walked from the wilderness into the burning military camp, from darkness into light and warmth... yet her body grew increasingly silent and increasingly dim.
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