082
For many days afterward, Song Ling remained busy with official duties, while Yu Baizhou continued to focus on training his troops. Neither of them exchanged another word.
Even Su Duan noticed that something was wrong.
Seeing that Song Ling was coughing again, he quickly pressed down on her hand holding the pen and took it away.
He frowned and asked, "What's wrong with General Yu? You've been sick for so long and he hasn't even come to see you once."
"They have absolutely no conscience."
Song Ling calmly pulled the pen back. "I'm the one avoiding him."
"Huh?" Su Duan froze. "Did you two have a fight? Or did he see another woman?"
As he spoke, he leaned closer and discussed with Song Ling, "Miss Song, if General Yu really betrays you, would you be interested in going it alone...?"
"I'll be with you then."
"And while we're at it, bring Wang Zhiyan along. I think we could also try to win over Wei Yan. And General Lin, Deputy General Shi too..."
Seeing Song Ling looking at him with a complicated expression, Su Duan raised his lips in a pleading tone: "What do you think? Think about it?"
Song Ling nodded thoughtfully, "I can consider it."
"I knew it!" Su Duan stroked his chin with his fingers, the more he thought about it, the more feasible it seemed.
Song Ling's brain paired with his brain, Wang Zhiyan's territory plus General Lin's army... absolutely amazing!
"Cough cough—"
A familiar voice entered his ears, and Su Duan turned around stiffly, just in time to meet Yu Baizhou's dark and unfathomable eyes.
He gave a dry laugh, "The general is here."
It's not good to always be heard gossiping behind people's backs.
“I suddenly remembered I have some official business in another study. I’ll go check it out…”
Su Duan's legs seemed to leap like a rabbit's, and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.
Song Ling steadied herself, stood up, and prepared to leave.
But just as they were at the door, her wrist was restrained.
Yu Baizhou said in a deep voice, "I will set off tomorrow morning."
Song Ling: "Where?"
"Jingzhou." Yu Baizhou stared intently at the woman's profile. "You..."
Song Ling coldly replied, "I will send a letter to Lin Qing, instructing her to lead troops to meet the general."
"Wishing the general a triumphant return."
After saying that, she ruthlessly withdrew her hand and left.
Yu Baizhou felt as if his already leaky heart had shattered again. It was as if cracks had appeared on the ice, and they just wouldn't close.
It was only yesterday that the weather warmed up, but today it's snowing again.
*
Night falls.
The road was covered with a thick layer of snow, and despite his tall stature, he walked through it without making a sound.
Gently push open the door to the room, and you'll find the woman already fast asleep.
Yu Baizhou knew this was inappropriate, but he couldn't help himself.
But he had to go to the battlefield early the next morning, and he couldn't help but come to see her tonight, even if it was just for a glance.
They hadn't spoken for days, tossing and turning every night, watching her drag her ailing body to plan for the war, their hearts bleeding as if they were bleeding.
I regret that slip of the tongue.
He wanted to apologize, but they were both so busy that they couldn't even see each other. Ah Ling no longer wanted to see him, and he knew that. He was also afraid that she wouldn't forgive him.
So what if she schemed? A voice inside him kept telling him: she hadn't schemed against anyone else, and he was still special to her...
The woman on the bed was covered with a thick quilt, but her face was completely pale, and her lips were terribly white. She seemed to have lost even more weight from worrying about trivial matters.
Yu Baizhou knelt quietly by the bed, watching intently, as if he could never get enough of looking at her.
In the past, even if there was only a 50% chance of winning a battle, he would still rush in and turn it into a 70% chance.
He was confident of a 90% chance of winning the expedition tomorrow, but he was also secretly afraid of unexpected events, mistakes, disappointing her, and never being able to return.
Yu Baizhou looked at her right hand, which was exposed outside the blanket. It was fair and slender, yet it could command the world.
He stared for a long time, then raised his hand... He struggled countless times in his heart, wanting to touch it, but then gave up in despair.
In the end, all he did was tuck her in and walk out of the yard through the snow.
Unbeknownst to him, after he entered the courtyard, the window of that room was gently opened a crack.
Song Ling, dressed in her undergarments, watched his retreating figure disappear into the falling snowflakes with a blank expression, remaining motionless for a long time.
………
"General, it's time for us to set off."
Following Yu Baizhou's gaze, Vice General Wang saw no one.
Yu Baizhou couldn't quite describe the feelings in his heart. She hadn't been feeling well lately, so staying home was the right thing to do. But he also knew clearly that she resented him; he was ungrateful and didn't deserve her painstaking efforts.
Just as he was about to mount his horse, a woman's voice suddenly came from behind him, "General, please wait!"
His heart skipped a beat, and he turned around abruptly.
The person calling him was Qi Man, but who was next to Qi Man if not the person he had been thinking about day and night?
Song Ling was pale, with some dark circles under her eyes, and looked as if she could be blown away by a single breath.
Just as she was about to step out the door, Yu Baizhou suddenly stopped her. "Don't come out!" He strode forward and stood in front of her. "It's a bit windy outside... You should rest in your room."
He was never good with words, and even he stammered a little now. Because of the recent conflict between them, he was afraid she would misunderstand him. "That's not what I meant. Just think I was crazy the other day… I apologize…"
Song Ling smiled faintly and shook her head slightly, "It's alright."
She never took this to heart. She took a brocade pouch from her sleeve and placed it in his hand, whispering, "General, you may only open this in times of crisis."
"I've got it."
Yu Baizhou carefully traced her eyebrows and eyes, as if he wanted to imprint her in his heart and never forget her.
He never restrained himself, how could Song Ling not know?
Her expression remained unchanged. She took a half step back, bowed, and said, "Ling is here, awaiting the general's triumphant return."
Yu Baizhou felt a bitter taste in his mouth.
"A-Ling, wait for me."
The sound of horses' hooves gradually faded away, and Song Ling finally couldn't hold on any longer. She spat out a mouthful of blood and fainted on the ground.
"girl!"
-
Why are you doing this to yourself?
Song Shiliu took her pulse and then wrote a new prescription, saying, "Men are all fickle; you don't need to put yourself on his plate."
"Just because I said a few words, he started questioning your scheming against him..."
"Men are all fickle, is Master the same?" Song Ling scoffed. "Won't I say the same about you?"
Song Shiliu paused slightly, a beautiful red figure flashing through his mind. "I am no exception."
“He’s questioning me, not me,” Song Ling retorted. “He’s questioning himself. Because I don’t need him.”
"But he can't."
“But no matter what, A-Ling lost this time.” Song Shiliu laughed loudly: “A bet is a bet, you have to leave this place and come with me to Luoyang.”
Song Ling: "I never agreed to gamble with you; it was just wishful thinking on your part."
"He is neither an object nor a stake. Neither am I."
“But I will go to Luoyang with you.” Song Ling stood up and said coldly, “Not for you.”
**
Half a month later
A residence on East Street in Luoyang.
Sunlight streamed through the half-open window onto the couch. The woman had her eyes closed and her brows furrowed; even just looking at her silhouette, one could tell she was a rare beauty.
After an unknown amount of time, the woman on the bed fluttered her long eyelashes and slowly opened her eyes. Gazing at the unfamiliar surroundings, her eyes were filled with confusion.
"Madam, you're awake!"
The woman blinked her eyes like a child, "Madam..."
The maidservant paused. "Madam, what's wrong?"
-
"Amnesia?"
Song Ling scoffed, "The eldest princess is quite ruthless, poisoning her own sister like this."
"It's a pity, I don't know if it's real amnesia or just pretending."
Master Song glanced at her and said, "It may not be fake, but this toxin can cause memory loss as a side effect."
"Whether it's real or fake, it can only be real to me." Song Ling handed a bottle of medicine to Yin Lu. "Put the medicine down her throat, Yin Lu. Don't disappoint me again."
Yin Lu didn't dare look at anyone else and hurried off to do it.
But having learned her lesson, Song Ling no longer trusted him.
"Shi Jiu, you watch him handle it. If he doesn't do a good job, you'll all suffer the consequences."
The branches behind me paused for a moment, then returned to normal.
“I’ve imagined what you would look like when you grow up many times, but I never thought it would be like this.” Master Song said slowly, “You are much more ruthless than I thought.”
"What, have you disappointed your master?" Song Ling said coldly. "It's all thanks to you."
“You don’t have to be so sarcastic,” Master Song said with a smile. “Actually, I gave you incomplete things back then. If you want to change your fate… there’s more than one way than supporting a lord.”
"Have you ever thought about becoming emperor yourself?"
This was the second person to ask her this question, and Song Ling's initial surprise had subsided. "I've thought about it," she replied.
"oh?"
"The best skill I've learned since childhood is divination. Unfortunately, I've calculated the lifespans of all the emperors... more than 70% of them didn't live as long as I did as the sect leader. It's meaningless."
Master Song chuckled and said, "Why not just be a tyrant? You'll live longer and enjoy life."
"Establishing a dynasty only to see it perish?" Song Ling retorted casually, "Would you do a deal that's not worth it? How could you even think of that?"
She diligently built a dynasty, only to destroy it herself.
Master Song: "Since being a good emperor is so exhausting, if you don't want to be one, are you willing to let Yu Baizhou do it?"
“I gave him a choice, and this was his choice.” Song Ling said with certainty, “Besides, even for my sake, he wouldn’t let himself be the first to die from exhaustion.”
Master Song: "Then why doesn't it work the other way around? Didn't you say you liked him...?"
“I am different from him.”
"What's different?"
Song Ling glanced at him: "I'm a rather selfish person. I always think about myself first. Otherwise, I wouldn't have gone through all this trouble just to live a few more years."
"You've ruined everything now."
Master Song smiled without any burden: "But what's the point of living so long? Even if you succeed, it's just living a few more years in this life, not true immortality."
You're mistaken.
Song Ling placed the white chess piece on her fingertip, saying, "I am not changing my fate for immortality, nor for how long I live. It is to make my life under my control."
"I can live if I want, and I can die if I want."
Master Song paused slightly in his hand holding the chess piece, and then said nothing more.
Song Ling was unaware that this was also his lifelong pursuit. There was no need for her to know.
*
Shannan Prefecture Prefectural Office
In the backyard, Madam Qu, the wife of the former Prefect of Lin, was directing the moving of things.
Her eldest daughter, Lin Youshu, hugged her daughter and asked with some doubt, "Mother, are we really going to move out?"
"Move, why don't we move!" Lin Youning ran over breathlessly: "I'll go beg our 'father,' he's already signed the divorce papers for mother."
Qu Fenglan saw things more clearly than the children, recalling what Su Duan had told her. She pulled her two daughters over and said, "Your 'father' is probably going to die soon, and Shannan Prefecture may soon change hands."
"It's a good thing we sever ties sooner rather than later."
“Lord Su has set up a girls’ school, so women can also work.” Qu Fenglan patted her youngest daughter’s head. “We’ll leave the governor’s mansion and go to my dowry house. We can find some work to earn some income.”
Lin Youshu looked at her young daughter and smiled, "Then I'll find some work to do and save up some money so An'an can go to a girls' school!"
Lin Youning looked at her mother, then at her eldest sister, and raised her hand, "Me too!"
"At your age, you should focus on your studies first..."
"oh."
...
"Have all the arrangements been made?" Su Duan looked up and rubbed his forehead.
Without Song Ling... he's having such a hard time.
"Yes, sir."
What's the situation in Luoyang?
The subordinate handed over the news: "The Marquis of Wu'an wanted to support the eldest princess to become empress, but recently there has been no news of it."
"The situation in Luoyang is unclear."
Su Duan lowered his hand, then burned the note over the candlelight. The dim candlelight reflected a hint of emotion in his eyes. A dashing figure in a red dress appeared before him.
"Becoming emperor? That's much harder than me."
It's unclear whether he was simply sighing or worried about someone...
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