My name is Wenqing.
I am deeply troubled.
He is my master.
——
I was born in Tianshui Town, which is a beautiful little town.
My father's name is Wen Changbai. He was originally a scholar who encountered a ghostly incident on his way to the capital for the imperial examination. By chance, he entered the path of immortality and met my mother.
My mother's name is Wenrou, and she is a gentle and beautiful woman, just as her name suggests.
My mother said that on the day I was born, my father held me and happily spun me around in the room for a long time. Later, he named me Wenqing (meaning "warmth" or "affection") because in their hometown, if a man was willing to let his child take the mother's traits, it was the greatest expression of love he could show to the woman.
My father always thought my mother was a fairy from heaven, and that marrying her was the greatest blessing of his life. My mother also said that my father was the most upright man in the world, and that marrying him warmed her heart after she had been filled with sorrow.
My mother liked mulberries, so my father planted two mulberry trees in front of the door.
Every year when the mulberries ripened, my mother would often sit under the mulberry tree in front of our door, sewing clothes for me while watching me ride on my father's broad shoulders to pick mulberries. She would patiently and gently call out to me again and again, "Sang Sang is so clever!" "Sang Sang, be careful!"...
Sangsang is my nickname.
In addition, my mother would often tell me about her childhood, about her master, her senior brothers, her junior brothers... and about that mountain that she could never forget.
Whenever her mother talked about her junior apprentice, she would become extremely sad and choke up several times.
My mother said that when I turn ten, she will take me back to the place where she grew up.
I've always longed to know what that sun-drenched mountain my mother described was like.
Living on a mountain...it must be very big...
Unfortunately, my family didn't live to see me turn ten.
When I was nine years old, my father and mother went to a secret place in search of an opportunity.
I remember clearly how happy my mother was that time. Her eyes shone with a rare fervor and hope. Before I left, she told me to stay home and eat at the neighbor's house when it was time to eat. My mother had left some money at her house. She also said that when she returned from the secret realm, her cultivation would greatly increase, and she would take me to visit her hometown.
My mother passed away; it was drizzling that day.
I listened to my mother, obediently guarded the home, and diligently cultivated myself.
However, three months later, I received devastating news.
Just as I was drifting off to sleep, I was startled awake by a series of urgent knocks on the door. There were six knocks in a row, and I knew that my father and the others had returned. So, without even putting on my shoes, I dashed out of bed and opened the gate.
The moment the gate opened, I was so frightened that my face turned deathly pale, and the joy on my face vanished instantly.
Under the moonlight, I saw a bloodied figure staggering against the courtyard gate, looking at me. The word "Sang Sang" sent chills down my spine, and I burst into tears.
But I quickly stopped crying and, holding back my tears, helped my mother into the house.
Along the way, tears finally spilled out and dripped onto the bluestone slabs in late autumn.
"Mother, please rest for a while. I'll go and find the best doctor in town for you."
I was about to run out the door when my mother grabbed my arm. She shook her head and said, "Sangsang, it's alright, Mother just needs to rest for a while..."
By candlelight, I watched as my mother reached out her blood-stained hand, trembling, to stroke my face, whispering, "My Sangsang, your mother can't go back to our hometown. Will you go and see it for me?"
"Okay, okay, Mother, I'll take you. I want to take you with me."
I didn't ask how my father was, because I knew that if my mother was injured like this and came back alone, then my father must have left this world and never come back.
"Sangsang, listen to your mother..."
That late autumn drizzle became the final attempt by tenderness to hold onto gentleness.
However, as the sun sets and dusk falls, it cannot defy fate.
Wenrou held on for three days, but they still had to part ways with reluctance.
Since that day, the courtyard has been empty.
The mulberry tree in front of the door is also gradually withering...
Later, in accordance with my mother's last wish, I buried her body in my father's hometown.
At the age of nine, I began a million-mile journey of wandering.
Although I possess some cultivation, I am still young. Despite my mother's many admonitions, I have still experienced the cunning and treachery of the world... Along the way, I have been deceived, beaten, and nearly died several times from the mouths of human hearts and demonic beasts. During this time, I have also encountered the help of kind-hearted people... Perhaps it is the blessing of my mother's spirit in heaven that, after four years, I have actually crossed a province with my own strength and arrived at the sect that my mother has longed for day and night.
But when I actually saw that mountain, I couldn't help but feel an emptiness in my heart. After fulfilling my mother's wishes and paying respects to my master, senior uncle, and junior uncle, where should I go from here...?
That day, I set foot on my mother's homeland and saw someone undergoing tribulation on the mountaintop.
He was a very beautiful immortal. At first, I thought the mountain had been "usurped", but later I learned that the man who was as beautiful as an immortal was actually my mother's junior brother and my junior uncle!
But my mother clearly said that my junior uncle has no spiritual root and cannot cultivate. Even if he were still alive, he would be around eighty years old.
Later, after some conversation and exchanging "secret codes," I finally confirmed that he was indeed my junior master.
Later, I settled down on this mountain.
At first, I was a little uneasy, afraid that my junior uncle would not like me. But later I found out that my junior uncle was a very good and gentle person. He treated me very well, even better than my father and mother.
From then on, my heart, which had been wandering for so long, finally felt at home again. I was finally able to shed the weariness of the world and the constant vigilance, and once again joke around like a child.
I think, it feels so good to be cared for!
The sunset over the hilltop was also beautiful.
Gradually, I came to enjoy watching the sunset...
After that.
I have another junior sister.
When I first met her, I thought she was ugly-cute, strange yet adorable. Later, my master took her to the mountain, and I was shocked to tears by her appetite.
Good heavens! I've never seen such a big eater in my life. My hands were so sore from cooking that they felt like they were going to fall off. But this is a desolate wilderness, full of monsters, and I couldn't bear to leave this kid behind. So, the kid ended up staying on the mountaintop.
Later, she became my junior sister.
At first, things were fine. Although my junior sister could eat a little, she was still quite obedient. She would go to work when I asked her, but sometimes she would slack off and try to be clever by saying how diligent she was that day. In the end, she would sleep in the fields all day and only dig two meters of soil, which made me both laugh and cry.
What made me even more want to cry was that my master entrusted me with the heavy responsibility of teaching her to read. During that time, I lost two hairs almost every day.
But I cherish this time very much. My junior sister's background is also very pitiful. She was driven out of the village by her family and villagers at such a young age to fend for herself.
Later, I discovered a great way to teach her to read: braised pork.
My junior sister loves to eat meat, especially my braised pork. I told her that for every word she learns, I will make her a plate of braised pork. Haha, from then on, my junior sister's memory improved by leaps and bounds. When Master came out of seclusion, he praised me for a long time, saying, "My little sweetheart is so amazing!"
Of course, I couldn't help but be modest, saying, "It is my honor to be able to share my master's burdens."
Okay, actually I put my hands on my hips and acted extremely arrogant, and gave a soft "humph" and said, "That's right."
"If only time could stay like this forever..."
I've thought this over and over again as I gaze at the sunset over the mountaintop.
But I know that one day I will have to come down the mountain.
So, at the age of thirty-two, I packed my bags and left the mountain where I had lived for nineteen years.
In the gentle spring rain, Master, Senior Brother, Yi Cheng... all stood on the mountaintop bidding me farewell.
After descending the mountain, I observed all things and all aspects of human life, hoping to attain enlightenment and avenge my parents.
During this process, I met a best friend. I trusted her completely, but she betrayed me. I used the methods left to me by my master to kill her. This incident also reminded me of the treacherous life I had before I was thirteen.
From then on, I no longer trusted anyone down the mountain, until I met Luo Qianqian. She was truly an excellent girl, so good that I always felt this chaotic and turbulent world was unworthy of her.
We accompanied each other, knew each other, and cultivated together. She told me her story, and I told her mine: my master, my senior brothers, my junior sisters... everything about me, including hatred.
Later, she died protecting me from a disaster, and I knew that I owed her for the rest of my life.
I will always remember her smiling smile and soft whispers before she died, saying, "You still have a blood feud to avenge, and your master is waiting for you on the mountain..."
"But there are people in this world waiting for you," I cried, holding Luo Qianqian's body.
I was being hunted down, I fell into demonic possession, and I met my second master, the Demon Lord Yao Yao...
Later, I finally traveled to the vast snowy region to avenge my parents. I extracted the soul of my enemy and made it into a soul lamp, which I placed in front of my parents' graves to torment them day and night... Then, I was captured by the forces behind my enemy.
Snowflakes were falling heavily as I was bound to a platinum dragon-patterned pillar, the Demon-Sealing Nails driven deep into my bones. I didn't cry or scream in pain, only felt a sense of exhilaration and a touch of regret—regret that I might not be able to see my master one last time.
I've been away from the mountain for so long, my master must be worried, he must resent me for being an ungrateful wretch... As I lay dying, I thought to myself.
The wind and snow gradually howled, and through the blur, I seemed to see the figure of my master. I thought it was my illusion, but when I looked up and saw it clearly again and again, I couldn't help but burst into tears like a child.
Master, it really is my master who has arrived!
God knows how overjoyed I was at that moment...
Later, my master saved me and killed all those who had bullied me.
He took me to Tianshui Town, the place where I lived as a child. We lived there together for a few months, like an ordinary couple... On that evening, the afterglow of the setting sun bathed the town. I stood on that familiar yet unfamiliar street, looking back at that familiar figure. Suddenly, I felt that I had fallen in love with my master.
So I sent my master back first, and then secretly went to Jinxiu Pavilion to have a wedding dress made for myself.
...
That night.
The Master was drunk.
I confessed my love to him while wearing my wedding dress, but he rejected me.
So I rushed down the mountain.
I'm a little sad, but not angry. The reason I'm not going back is because I'm afraid to go back; I don't know how to face my master anymore...
And so, I wandered aimlessly through the world for decades, until the gears of fate led me to meet the little slug again.
When I met him, he seemed like a pitiful wretch, abandoned by his father and assassinated by his siblings...
I saved him, and ever since then, he's followed me everywhere. I can't shoo him away, and he doesn't fight back even when I hit him...
Through Jiazi's companionship, we've weathered countless storms. I've saved him, and he's died for me countless times.
Perhaps time really is the best healer...
He became an emperor, and I was no longer so fixated on that unattainable white robe on the mountaintop...
I vividly remember that it was a sunset stained with blood.
The sixth prince, who was never favored by others, became the biggest winner of that palace coup.
He knelt before Wen Qing and said, "Zhang Duan has admired Sister Wen for 142 years. I wonder if he has ever won her favor?"
I said, "Okay."
And so, I had my first grand wedding in that Tianyuan Hall.
It was at that very moment.
I was thinking,
Let the flowers be flowers, and the trees be trees.
Give back what is yours to yourself, and give back what belongs to others to them.
From this day forward, Wen Qing will only be her master's disciple, Zhang Duan's wife, and the empress of Da Duanmin...
Before the wedding, I mustered up the courage to write a letter to my master, hoping he would come. I don't know if he's still angry with me...
Even on the wedding day, his master didn't come...
However, the arrival of my eldest brother made me realize that my master had never blamed me.
Actually, I've always known that my master wouldn't blame me. It's just that perhaps he doesn't know how to face his disciple either.
In the end, his youthful impulsiveness and tenderness offended his master's reputation.
This also caused us, master and apprentice, to miss out on many tender moments... until the day I died.
It was a sunny day. Zhang Duan had gone to quell a rebellion, and I was pregnant. I was sitting on a swing in the Imperial Garden, with Xiao Bai hopping and bouncing behind me, pushing the swing with its paws.
At that moment, I was happy because I had written a letter to my master, inviting him to come to the capital next spring when the flowers bloom. I knew, I felt, I guessed that my master would definitely come. At that time, I wanted my master to name my child.
However, just as I was envisioning a bright spring next year, an unexpected event destroyed everything.
I don't know who they are, but I know they must be those immortals who descended from the upper realm. The moment they appeared, they exuded a world-ending killing intent. In the end, I also learned that they came for the immortal sword I possessed.
This was a gift from my master, which saved my life several times during life-or-death crises. I never showed it to anyone, but now I am dying because of it.
In the end, Lingzhou sank, Daduan perished, and Xiaobai died protecting me. I used my last bit of strength to unleash a secret technique, burning my soul and life force, hoping to protect the last vestige of life in my unborn child. I don't know if he can survive... I feel some regret, regret for my impulsive decision to go down the mountain, regret for never returning, regret for not going back to see my master for over a hundred years... I also feel some sadness, sadness that I cannot see my master one last time before I die... I am even more afraid, afraid that if I am gone, what will happen to Zhang Duan?
Only I know that he was just a sensitive, snotty-nosed person who said, "Sister Wen, you are the only one in Zhang Duan's life."
Eventually, my consciousness gradually faded, and I lost all perception of this world.
......
When I regained consciousness, I felt myself in a hazy state, everything around me was dark, and I lost all five senses. I drifted in this 'space' for an unknown amount of time. I didn't feel bored because I also lost my sense of time.
Until one day, at one moment, I seemed to hear echoes in the distant river of time. At first, those echoes were far away from me, like an illusion, but they also seemed to have always been there.
As time passed and the echoes drew closer, my consciousness began to gather and become clearer.
"Master, is that you, Master?"
When my consciousness was clear enough, I seemed to hear someone whispering in my ear.
"My little love, your master has come to take you home."
When those whispers coalesced into a single, complete voice, I could no longer hold back.
For a moment, I wept uncontrollably, like a lost soul adrift in the vast sea of fate. But then, one evening at dusk, I saw a sailboat coming from the other shore. He said he would take me home...
Along with it come the waves of memories from the long river of time.
Among those waves, I saw a lovely little girl growing up day by day on the mountain she knew so well. She rolled around in the snow with a big orange cat, was lifted up and spun around by a cat, rode on Da Bao's back and played happily, and sat on a swing under a tree, pushed by Da Mei... Wen Qing knew that it must be the child she had never met.
Furthermore, she also saw that after her death, Yi Cheng had a nightmare, and after waking up, she ran down the mountain to search for her everywhere, a search that lasted for over a hundred years...
She saw Zhang Duan again, now a wandering ghost, struggling in those endless hells, possessed and driven mad, frantically searching the world for a way to be resurrected...
She saw Da Mei painting in the attic, expressing her longing for her...
She saw her senior brother secretly crying his eyes out at his own grave...
She saw her master standing under the tree, lost in thought, gazing towards Lingzhou, and he remained there for an entire day...
She also saw many other people on the mountain...
......
When I woke up again.
I appeared on a mountaintop.
The mountain is covered with peach blossoms, the chaotic bamboo sways, there are patches of immortal herbs, and there is also the little courtyard from my memory.
Everything looked familiar.
Squeak!
I pushed open the door to the room where I used to live.
I saw an envelope on the table, its gleaming surface seemingly signaling my arrival. The envelope was inscribed with the words: "To my beloved disciple."
Warmly opening the envelope—
[My dear disciple, I feel as if we are meeting in person upon receiving this letter:]
My disciple, when you see this letter, it will mean you have been resurrected and returned. Many things have happened in the long time since you left…
Qin Shou wrote a lot in the letter, mostly about ordinary little things, but he described them in great detail, especially about Wen Nuan's growth process.
My disciple, one day in the future, you will reunite with everyone on the mountain: Da Mei, Xiao Pang, Hei Tu... Please wait patiently.
—Master, leaving this message.
The envelope was very long, and Wenqing looked at it for a long time, and read it many times.
Finally, she folded the envelope and put it away, then walked back into the yard, looking around at this long-lost homeland.
Even the fairyland where immortals reside cannot withstand the erosion of time and eventually gathers dust.
Wenqing rolled up her sleeves, fetched a bucket of water, found a rag, and began cleaning. She also patiently did any work on the hilltop that needed renovation.
Days passed by, and Wenqing slowly savored the beauty of time in the tranquility. In his letter, Master said that he had buried many fine wines underground, all of which were celestial brews. After such a long period of time, they became even more wonderful, and some of them even resonated directly with the Great Dao after just one sip.
Sunset.
Wenqing did the same things under countless sunsets. Sometimes she would pick mulberries, wash them, and eat them while sitting in the sunset. Other times, she would admire the evening glow on the horizon while weaving new clothes for the people on the mountain according to her memory. Sometimes she would mutter to herself, "I wonder if Yicheng has gained weight again? Will she be able to fit into these clothes?"
The wind blows across the sea of flowers on the mountaintop, and countless colorful pink blossoms seem to sweep across the mountains and rivers, reflecting the red sunset on the horizon. But even this cannot compare to the gentle smile of the beauty under the tree when she sees this beautiful scene.
In his letter, Master said that many people on the mountain would return, but he didn't say whether he would return, nor did he say whether the eldest brother, the youngest brother, and the youngest sister would return. However, Wenqing felt that since Master didn't say they wouldn't return, then they would.
Squeak!
The bamboo window on the hilltop was swaying again, knocking off a row of wooden carvings. Only a little chubby girl's wooden carving stood there, motionless, hands on her hips, belly sticking out, head held high, and mouth pursed in a big laugh... Wenqing thought to herself, "No wonder she's Junior Sister Yicheng. The wooden carvings Master made for her used several times more wood than others."
Wenqing carefully propped up the bamboo window and rearranged the wooden carvings one by one. Then, she touched her own wooden carving and remained silent for a long time before finally letting out a sudden smile.
The next day, she picked up a wood carving and, amidst the glow of the setting sun, tirelessly carved the likenesses of the people on the mountain.
Master, Eldest Brother, Yi Cheng, Fourth Junior Brother, Fifth Junior Sister, Zhang Duan, Da Mei, Little Fatty, Black Rabbit, Da Bao...
If life is peaceful and serene,
Then the world will be peaceful and serene.
——
My name is Wenqing.
I am deeply troubled.
I have nothing to say, and my heart is heavy with resentment.
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