marrying far away
Shedding his coat and down jacket, with no more lingering drizzle or intermittent winds, Zhu Shiyi is ready to go into battle in light clothing. With the arrival of winter vacation, he returns to Yuecheng, the home he has been longing for.
Yuecheng is one of the southernmost cities. There are no withered trees, no severe cold, and no torrential rain but scorching sun. The four seasons are practically nonexistent. Even in the depths of winter, you can look up and see a clear blue sky.
Having spent so much time in cold places, Zhu Shiyi almost thought she was living in summer when she returned to Yuecheng. She would wander around the house in a thin nightgown from morning till night and didn't feel cold at all.
"Are you crazy?" Liu Lu couldn't stand her. "Wearing this little thing in the dead of winter, people will think you're insane."
Compared to her mother's endless nagging, her words were practically a joke, and Zhu Shiyi didn't care at all: "It's okay, I'm not cold."
"You'll be freezing when you get cold!" Liu Lu grabbed a coat and threw it at him. "You don't know how to take it off when it's hot or how to put it on when it's cold. How do you survive out here?"
"I'm not that stupid." Despite her stubbornness, Zhu Shiyi obediently put on her clothes.
Liu Lu was folding clothes when the phone rang, and she answered it.
"Hey Mom, Second Sister, have you eaten yet?" Liu Lu raised her phone to the side of the screen and started a video call. Zhu Shiyi glanced at the screen and saw that it was her grandmother and aunt on the other end of the line.
"I've eaten, I've eaten," Grandma forced a smile, very happy, the wrinkles on her face couldn't be hidden. "Lulu, are you coming home for Chinese New Year this year? We've made sausages at home, and also your favorite chili powder."
“That’s right, you can’t find this in Yuecheng! Take some back with you when you leave.” Auntie invited in her local dialect.
Zhu Shiyi was also curious about where to go for the Chinese New Year this year.
Liu Lu paused, then glanced over at him.
“I’m not coming back, Mom. Airfare is too expensive during the Lunar New Year. Shijie is still young, and the journey is too much of a hassle. His dad is also busy, so he won’t be back for more than a few days. It would be too much of a waste of money.” She spoke in the same dialect, but perhaps because she hadn’t spoken it for a long time, her tone seemed a little unfamiliar.
"You're not coming back again this year," Grandma's smile dimmed a little. "You haven't been back in so long. Last time you came back, Shijie was not even a year old. I don't know if he remembers me."
"There's nothing I can do, Mom... It's not convenient with such a big family, you know that..." A hint of gloom flashed in Liu Lu's eyes, but she still didn't change her words.
Auntie could only comfort Grandma, saying that Zhu Zhenggang, who earns money in Lulu's family, is busy, and life in the big city is expensive, so she should understand.
"What about Shiyi?" After chatting about all sorts of things for a while, Grandma stretched her head and asked Liu Lu, "Shiyi is such a promising child! She's going to graduate school. She's the only one in our family to get a graduate degree."
Zhu Shiyi, who was eavesdropping on all sorts of messy gossip from the elders, looked up: ?
"He's next to me." Liu Lu glanced at her phone, half-closed her eyes, and gestured for her to say hello.
Zhu Shiyi smiled and honestly called out "Grandma" and "Auntie." Grandma raised her forehead slightly, and although her eyebrows were sparse, they were held high: "Shiyi has grown so much! Last time I saw you, you were just a tiny little thing." She gestured with her hands, her eyes full of kindness.
Zhu Shiyi had never spent a long time with an elderly person before and didn't know how to respond, so he simply replied with a polite "Yes," dry but respectful.
"Girls change so much as they grow up! Shiyi was cute as a child, and she's become even more beautiful," her aunt teased. "Do you have a boyfriend? Are there any boys pursuing you at school?"
Zhu Shiyi was taken aback, unsure how to respond.
"..." Liu Lu frowned almost imperceptibly. "She doesn't have a boyfriend, and she's never told me."
Zhu Shiyi pursed her lips, feeling a little guilty. Although it's normal for adults to date, having grown up under her parents' guidance, she wasn't quite used to being an "independent adult," and subconsciously wanted to hide her relationship from her parents.
Liu Lu and her grandmother chatted for only a few words before she hung up. A silence fell over the living room. Feeling guilty, Zhu Shiyi felt inexplicably awkward.
"...I'm going back to my room first." Zhu Shiyi got up to leave, but Liu Lu stopped her. She turned around with some confusion. Her mother was old and her eyes were a little cloudy. She looked at her with a slightly scrutinizing gaze, which made her alarmed.
"Do you have a guy you like?" Liu Lu asked.
Zhu Shiyi instinctively denied it: "No...no."
“You’re my child, do you think I can’t tell?” Liu Lu said bluntly. “I could tell at a glance that you liked a boy when you were in school.”
Zhu Shiyi: ......
“Tell me, Mom has told you many times that when you look for a boyfriend, you just need someone whose family relationships are not messy, who is good-looking, has a good personality, and whose conditions are normal,” Liu Lu coaxed. “What Mom values most is character.”
Zhu Shiyi softened his stance somewhat.
She remembered that when she was in high school, she had mentioned that boy to Liu Lu once, and Liu Lu immediately concluded that she had different feelings for this boy.
Zhu Shiyi countered, but the facts were indeed true, and her rebuttal always contained a flaw. So Liu Lu lectured her, saying that early relationships were bad, many girls who liked a boy would overthink things, neglect their studies, grow up early, get married and have children, and many of those men weren't good people; what if something happened...?
Zhu Shiyi found it annoying at the time and wanted to ignore it, but she unconsciously listened to it. Fearing that she would meet the wrong person and it would interfere with her studies, she did not fall in love early.
But what about Pan Yue?
Pan Yue was different. It was because of him that she had more support and less loneliness on her path of studying and preparing for graduate school. He encouraged her like a friend, took care of her like family, and gave her a kind of reliance that neither friends nor family could give her, a reliance that belongs exclusively to men.
Why can't she acknowledge such a wonderful man like Pan Yue? She's an adult now and can date.
Zhu Shiyi wanted to tell his mother about Pan Yue.
“I do like someone,” she said, as if she had gained some kind of conviction. She raised her eyes and looked at Liu Lu without fear. “I’m with him.”
Liu Lu's expression was clearly flustered.
"Where are you from? When did you meet? How did you meet? How old are you? Do you have any siblings? How long have you been together?" "..."
One question after another was thrown at Zhu Shiyi, who was overwhelmed with questions. He simply sat down and told Liu Lu everything, but Liu Lu's brows did not relax in the slightest.
"Six years older than you? From Hanshan, and a long-time resident of Jinrong?" Liu Lu's expression betrayed no joy. "He's six years older than you, probably just taking advantage of your youthful appearance."
"No, that's not true. Don't think so badly of people. He's a very nice person and takes good care of me."
Liu Lu's eyes trembled, and her voice rose two octaves: "You're already taking the side of outsiders?!"
Zhu Shiyi: ......
She felt somewhat powerless.
"That's not what I meant. I care about you and I care about him, so why do you have to say who's an outsider?"
“You were born in Yuecheng, a first-tier city, with plenty of opportunities for development. Why would you want to find someone from a fourth-tier rural area?” Liu Lu kept pressing Pan Yue about the fact that he was from Hanshan.
"So what if it's the countryside? Isn't our hometown the countryside too?" Zhu Shiyi couldn't believe Liu Lu would say such a thing. "Didn't you say you liked the countryside? The air is good, the food is good, and you always say you want to go back to the village when you're old..."
"That's for when we're old! What are you comparing yourself to me and your dad? We didn't have your advantages back then. Don't be so naive!" Liu Lu interrupted abruptly, rattling off a string of words. "We've worked so hard in this city for so many years, just trying not to be left behind and to establish ourselves in Yuecheng. We won't interfere too much with your future, but since you were born in Yuecheng, if you're even a little bit sensible, you should find someone from here who's your equal, not some weird, outdated place..."
"Fine, just say it. Why are you being so regionally prejudiced?" Zhu Shiyi said, a little annoyed. "You make it sound nice, saying you won't interfere, but what's wrong with me contacting him?"
"He's from the countryside, what can his family do to help him? Can he even afford a house in Jinrong? You're in such a great place like Yuecheng, why would you go to that godforsaken place like Jinrong?"
“He’s a boss with businesses in Jinrong, and he hasn’t complained that I’m poor.”
"Why do you think you can be so disliked? Do you think starting a company guarantees profits? Is the real economy really that easy to run? Look at your dad, he's in business too. Have you forgotten what kind of life you had as a child? What's so great about running a business? It's not stable at all, and you might suffer a lot after you become poor!"
Zhu Shiyi didn't want to hear it: "I'm willing, that's fine!"
"What do you mean!" Liu Lu's voice trembled. "I think you've been fooled by that old man, and you're still yelling at your mother here!"
"Didn't you call me that first?!" Zhu Shiyi roared angrily. "I'm twenty-three years old, not a child. I know what I'm doing and don't need you to tell me what to do."
"You're too self-centered; you never listen to your elders. You'll suffer for it later..."
"You have to eat it before you know if it's a loss!" Zhu Shiyi was tired and didn't want to talk to Liu Lu anymore. She got up and went back to her room, but she was still unwilling to give up, so she turned her back and interjected.
"He just said that as long as someone has good character, that's enough. Now all he cares about is money."
Zhu Shiyi closed the door without turning around, covered his ears, and muffled the shrill screams outside.
Why couldn't his mother accept Pan Yue? Was it just because Pan Yue's family was poor?
From childhood, her parents instilled in her the values of hard work and kindness. Pan Yue changed his circumstances through his own efforts, never making empty promises and always doing his best to fulfill what he agreed to.
Why would Liu Lu slander someone who is such a good person?
Zhu Shiyi was angry and sad. She wanted to talk to Pan Yue, but she didn't want him to know that her closest mother had said such things about him.
Feeling frustrated but unable to express her feelings, she made a video call to Yu Fan that evening and briefly explained her situation to him.
Yu Fan occasionally agreed with her, echoed her, and offered a few words of comfort, but after listening to the whole thing, he fell silent.
Zhu Shiyi was confused: "What's wrong?"
"You mean, you went back to your dad's house again this year?"
"right."
Yu Fan's expression was unreadable. He opened his mouth, then sighed softly, finally managing to squeeze out only one sentence:
"...Auntie just doesn't want you to leave her like she left her mother."
--
For two consecutive nights, Liu Lu didn't call Zhu Shiyi for dinner; instead, she had Zhu Shijie act as a messenger, making him call for everything.
It's normal for mothers and daughters to argue; it's nothing serious. Usually, a simple greeting or a "dinner's ready" is enough to restore their relationship to normal.
Humans have a powerful self-repair function; even the strongest emotions will subside within 48 hours. This is a human self-protection system.
Liu Lu and Zhu Shiyi were much calmer now. But what had happened between them was anything but calm.
On the drive back to his hometown, Zhu Zhenggang finally had a moment to briefly mention the topic of educating his children.
"Shiyi, I heard from your mom that you have a boyfriend?"
Zhu Shiyi subconsciously looked up and met Liu Lu's eyes in the rearview mirror.
“…Yes,” Zhu Shiyi turned her eyes away, unconsciously picking at her hands, “Are you going to object too? Don’t you all want me to be happy?”
"How could that be!" Zhu Zhenggang laughed it off. "Dad heard about it, the other person is a really good person..."
Zhu Shiyi looked up abruptly, thinking he had found his people.
"At this age, we're not a good match."
Zhu Shiyi: ......
"It's alright, who cares about that?"
Liu Lu interjected, her words colder than the wind: "What happiness is there in marrying someone from such a faraway place?"
She instinctively wanted to retort, but understanding her mother's concerns, Zhu Shiyi couldn't bring herself to say anything harsh. "Why are you always thinking about marriage? It's still a long way off. Who knows where you'll end up?" she softened her tone.
Liu Lu didn't give her a kind look: "Anyway, I don't agree. It's not suitable. If you want to be with him, it means I'll break up with you."
"Who wants to argue with you? You're forcing me into a situation where I have to choose between two options..." Zhu Shiyi was furious and couldn't hold back any longer.
"Alright, alright, stop arguing!" Zhu Zhenggang smoothed things over, then turned to Liu Lu, his tone a little impatient, "Children and grandchildren have their own blessings, don't worry about it. What's so important about the region? Life is the same wherever you go, don't concern yourself with these details."
Liu Lu snorted coldly and remained silent.
Zhu Shiyi felt uncomfortable listening to this, frowned, and refrained from speaking.
Seeing that no one spoke, Zhu Zhenggang looked ahead again and continued driving.
"Why argue with a child? She's not grown up yet; she'll figure it out when she matures..."
Zhu Zhenggang's casual remark chilled Zhu Shiyi to the bone.
...Instead of supporting and trusting her, and believing that she was grown up and could control her own happiness, her father stood high above her, on a pedestal of power, controlling and educating her, believing that everything in her life would follow what he considered the "correct" path and lead her to the destination he had decided on.
He didn't have many emotions, and he didn't want to spend time learning more about her future happiness or talking about it. He even put on a stern face and criticized Liu Lu's emotions, saying that she was just fixated on details.
He failed to fulfill his responsibilities as a father, nor did he properly assume the role of a husband.
Compared to Liu Lu, Zhu Zhenggang was cold-blooded.
"I'm not stupid."
He opened his mouth with a thousand thoughts swirling in his mind, but the words that came out were calm.
“I think things through clearly, and I can see people’s faces clearly,” Zhu Shiyi said without specifying. “I know what I want.”
Liu Lu looked intently into the mirror, while Zhu Zhenggang glanced at her sideways.
At this moment, Zhu Shiyi was especially certain.
"I want to walk to the end with the person I love."
She spoke the most sincere words.
*
Zhu Zhenggang hummed in agreement, saying "okay" without further ado.
Zhu Shijie only had a vague understanding and could only ask, "Sister, who is that person?"
Only Liu Lu remained silent.
She remained silent, tilted her head slightly, and looked out the window.
Along the highway, frame by frame, are green hills, clear waters, low-roofed houses, and nascent vegetation; they are nature, villages, and the families and childhood memories of people from distant lands.
Zhu Zheng stepped on the gas, increasing the car's speed. The scenery before him kept flowing, blurry and intangible. Liu Lu closed her eyes briefly, looking down at the seatbelt that both restrained and protected her.
The rope, once clear, became blurry.
She raised her eyes and looked into the distance.
A delicate hand reached out from behind.
......
Her daughter quietly handed her a tissue.
--
After confessing her relationship to her parents, Zhu Shiyi thought her life would change.
But she didn't. She continued as before, studying, working on projects, and taking on new ventures.
Pan Yue kept his promise and visited her whenever he had a spare moment each month. They slept in the same room time and time again, holding hands, hugging, and kissing. When hormones were high, their hands would sometimes wander, but Pan Yue never mentioned it, and she never took that final step.
Perhaps due to nervousness, Zhu Shiyi was always afraid that Liu Lu would call on video and suddenly decide to check up on her whenever they shared a room. Although she and Pan Yue hadn't done anything, the situation at the hotel made it difficult to explain.
Jiang Ming and Yuecheng are thousands of miles apart. If Liu Lu sees this scene, she will definitely overthink it. Her imagination might go from ordinary dating to marriage and having children, or even her daughter giving up her studies, abandoning her parents, and eloping with an older man. Thinking of this, Zhu Shiyi dared not do anything more, for fear that Liu Lu would find out.
Strangely, Liu Lu never checked up on them. Their relationship remained the same as before; they didn't contact each other normally, only speaking up when something happened.
I heard from Zhu Shijie that once, on the way to school, his mother inexplicably burst into tears. He asked his mother what was wrong, but she didn't say much, only that she was afraid she wouldn't see her sister again.
Zhu Shiyi didn't know how to face it, so he simply left everything to time.
Zhu Shiyi didn't have many classes in her second year of graduate school. Although she was still busy, she still managed to sneak off to Jinrong in January to buy a cake and take it to Pan Yue's house, hoping to see him.
At this hour, Pan Yue was probably still at get off work. Zhu Shiyi wanted to give Pan Yue a surprise, so she didn't tell him in advance and went straight into the house by verifying her fingerprint, but she was almost mistaken for a thief.
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