intimate
"What does bungee jumping feel like?" Zhu Shiyi asked, her big, curious eyes bulging as she tilted her head.
Pan Yue sat on the grass, next to Zhu Shiyi.
Feel?
He tilted his head back, feeling the wind blowing from all sides, letting his hair fly wildly in disarray.
......
The moment he reached the top of the tower, his adrenaline surged to its peak, but he didn't jump down at that moment. The staff explained the key points to him while attaching the safety rope.
As the hormones slowly subsided and rationality returned, the determination to jump also wavered.
The physiological fear of death spread instantly.
What is death? It is the end of life.
What does it feel like when life ends?
Everyone fears death, yet no one truly understands what death is really like.
Death is torture, pain, and agony.
Pan Yue witnessed the death of his closest relatives.
That year, on the eve of New Year's Eve, Grandma sat quietly on the sofa, fiddling with crumpled banknotes, muttering to herself, "This is for my grandson, this is for my daughter, this is for my son-in-law."
At that time, he was still in middle school. He knew nothing, but he was secretly happy that he would receive lucky money again during the Chinese New Year.
He drifted off to sleep with good intentions, hoping for the early arrival of the New Year.
But time is linear. The New Year won't arrive early just because we're looking forward to it, but bad news will.
In his dream, Pan Yue was woken up by his family. He got into a car in a daze and went to the hospital.
Grandma's eyes were no longer kind; she was foaming at the mouth, and her face was full of pain.
My grandmother suffered a sudden heart attack and never opened her eyes again, passing away in agony.
......
In one minute, Pan Yue reviewed countless moments.
On the tower, the staff told him to turn his back and relax by lying down.
For a moment, Pan Yue thought, "Forget it, I won't jump."
The higher you climb, the colder it gets. A cold wind howled past, and Pan Yue felt a chill run down his spine.
He glanced sideways and looked behind him.
The wind was very strong at the top of the tower, so strong that Pan Yue couldn't open his eyes.
As far as the eye could see, there was a vast expanse of grassland, like an abyss that swallowed life.
Pan Yue blinked his dry eyes.
Out of the corner of my eye, a beautiful figure came into view; she stood there, motionless.
Pan Yue knew that Zhu Shiyi was watching him.
An inexplicable force surged forth, and Pan Yue smiled.
Sometimes, people live on a single impulse.
Pan Yue nodded to the staff.
The staff grabbed the safety rope, signaling him to lean back.
Pan Yue opened his arms and closed his eyes.
Whether it's about saving face or showing off, it doesn't matter.
He absolutely had to jump.
......
In the moments before he fell, countless memories flashed through Pan Yue's mind.
An old man once said that when a person is on the verge of death, their mind will replay the most memorable moments of their life like a revolving lantern.
If that moment ever comes, Pan Yue hopes that a hundred years from now, today will remain in his mind.
......
Time stretched infinitely by weightlessness, his body soaring through the clouds, a hurricane whistling across his face. Cold or hot, pain or noise, Pan Yue knew nothing. His senses seemed to have failed him. He opened his mouth unconsciously, but no sound came out.
The soul floats in the sky, death is imminent.
Despite losing all five senses, Pan Yue became even calmer.
...It's not an empty calm, but a peaceful calm.
This feeling is like—
To live in the face of death.
......
With a pure heart, Pan Yue opened his eyes.
The sky is reflected in my eyes, and the white clouds seem within reach.
Pan Yue gasped, his soul instantly returning to its original state, and he felt the absolute freedom of his breathing.
The world turned upside down, vision swayed violently, and as the world spun, I plummeted to the bottom. The rope snapped back, and a sense of security washed over me.
Pan Yue subconsciously looked down and saw Zhu Shiyi.
He felt as if the sound of bells echoed in his chest, and a smile crept onto his lips.
The survival instinct makes people unconsciously grip the rope tightly.
The same applies at this moment.
For the sake of his life, Pan Yue let go of her hand, lay down on his back, and let his body sway like a swing.
He opened his mouth, releasing the countless chaos within his chest, and his heart suddenly felt clear and open—
The boundary between life and death is the ultimate expression of life.
This moment is eternity; he will remember it for a lifetime.
......
A light, ticklish sensation came from his arm. Zhu Shiyi poked him and asked, "Why aren't you saying anything? What does it feel like?"
Pan Yue chuckled softly: "It's an indescribable feeling."
"Let me think about it."
Pan Yue glanced sideways and tilted his head: "Why don't you give it a try?"
Zhu Shiyi shook his head frantically, his chin drooping long: "Never mind, never mind."
She puffed out her lips, turned her head away, and hummed softly, "Fine, I won't say!"
The little girl's sullenness came on inexplicably.
Helpless, Pan Yue reached into his other pocket, took out a bag of snacks, and handed it to Zhu Shiyi.
Zhu Shiyi's eyes lit up instantly: "Bear biscuits!"
She raised her head, her dark eyes as bright as crystal grapes.
"Where did you take this from? I can't feel it at all."
Pan Yue tore open the packaging and watched as Zhu Shiyi took the bag of biscuits and crunched away.
He couldn't help but smile.
There was this one person who, even if she was sitting on the ground eating a bag of oil and carbohydrates that cost a few dollars, would find it delicious to him.
A sudden inspiration struck Pan Yue, who leaned back and lay down on the grass.
"You—" Zhu Shiyi exclaimed softly, seemingly surprised. Suddenly, her eyebrows drooped slightly. "Why do you love lying on the ground so much!"
Skin touches the earth, soul turns toward peace.
The intensity of life surged instantly, and Pan Yue crossed his arms, resting them behind his head: "So, do you want to lie down and see?"
......
Zhu Shiyi chuckled softly.
Why does this sound so familiar?
In Qin City, Pan Yue also made her lie on the ground in the same way.
This time, Zhu Shiyi didn't hesitate. She fell straight down and had a blissful, intimate encounter with the grass.
Zhu Shiyi turned his head to look at Pan Yue.
He propped his head up, looked up at the sky, his brows soft, as if he were savoring something.
He seemed a little different after bungee jumping.
As for how they differ... Zhu Shiyi found it difficult to explain.
She narrowed her eyes and carefully examined Pan Yue's eyes.
The meaning in his eyes... was it satisfaction?
"So why did you go bungee jumping?" she wanted to know what Pan Yue had achieved.
“Because,” Pan Yue’s voice was deep and resonant, his deep eyes seemingly holding the entire vast universe, “I want to control life.”
Zhu Shiyi suddenly remembered that night in Qincheng.
That was the first time they opened their hearts to each other.
The past scenes are still vivid in my mind.
No one could have imagined that they would meet again thousands of miles away, and that they would lie together on the ground, speaking of the desires hidden deep in their hearts.
At that time, she asked Pan Yue what he was pursuing, and he said he was pursuing happiness.
This time, what he wanted to achieve was control over his life.
My chest felt as if it were filled with crabapple blossom tea, refreshing yet with a touch of sweetness.
Zhu Shiyi smiled secretly; she understood him a little more now.
Most of the time, Pan Yue was calm, busy, and always serious; but fortunately, he was willing to open his heart to her, and she could see his hidden heart without having to peek.
The ginkgo trees are in their final season; as the winter wind blows, a shower of yellow rain falls on the green grass.
Zhu Shiyi picked up a piece of ginkgo and played with it.
A sudden thought flashed through my mind, and a cunning idea struck me.
Zhu Shiyi picked up another ginkgo leaf, bit her lower lip, smiled, and silently tossed the ginkgo leaf into Pan Yue's face.
As if subconsciously dodging, Pan Yue slightly turned his head and lowered his eyes.
Zhu Shiyi chuckled with delight.
"A gift for you!"
Pan Yue raised his hand, picked up the ginkgo leaf, and glanced at it lightly.
"Send me some trash?"
Zhu Shiyi snorted and pouted, "What do you mean! What do you mean by 'trash'? Ginkgo leaves are so beautiful, they can even be used to make bookmarks!"
Yuecheng is summer all year round, and she had never seen a ginkgo leaf before going to university.
Zhu Shiyi picked up a few more leaves and put them in her pocket; she really liked yellow leaves.
Pan Yue smiled and said, "Okay."
Just go along with her; whatever she says goes.
His gaze returned to the tower. The last rays of sunlight faded, and looking directly at it, he could barely open his eyes.
Pan Yue raised his hand, lightly shielding the intense shimmering light.
High in the sky, out of control, he took control of life.
Pan Yue looked away, turned his head, and silently glanced at Zhu Shiyi.
She held up a ginkgo leaf, pointing it towards the sky.
A small patch of the setting sun fell on her hand, as bright yellow as her ginkgo leaves.
Pan Yue's brows softened further, and he unconsciously stroked his fingertips, holding the ginkgo in his palm.
He wanted to cherish and hold onto the happiness forever.
--
After dinner.
The two walked along the path through the grass toward the car.
Before going to dinner, Zhu Shiyi deliberately took the lead and walked ahead, guiding Pan Yue towards the mall.
She didn't want him to drive, so they could take a walk together after dinner.
As expected, things turned out as hoped.
Concealing his triumphant smile, Zhu Shiyi subtly smiled and walked alongside Pan Yue, chatting casually.
The moon is shining brightly tonight, its light gently spilling down and filling the air.
The familiar temperature, mixed with a steady atmosphere.
A subtle, yet undeniable attraction made Zhu Shiyi's heart pound.
A gentle evening breeze blew, and she quietly leaned to the side, following the wind's force.
A blurry touch landed on my arm, then slipped away slightly the next second. It came suddenly and unexpectedly, leaving me feeling itchy and tingling.
Dim streetlights, quiet streets.
Zhu Shiyi coughed softly, wiping away the tingling, itchy feeling.
"Why," she asked casually, swinging her arm and glancing sideways, "the streetlights in this park are so dark."
Pan Yue frowned slightly and responded, seemingly deep in thought.
“It might be tonight,” he said in his usual gentle tone, “the moonlight is quite nice.”
My heart pounded.
Zhu Shiyi blinked gently, turned her head, and slowly came back to her senses.
She looked up and gazed at the moonlight.
......
He said the moonlight was beautiful tonight.
...Is that what she meant?
Zhu Shiyi couldn't help but look at Pan Yue again.
He kept his eyes straight ahead, and nothing seemed amiss.
Too.
Pan Yue's straightforward manner doesn't seem like someone who understands this kind of artistic ambiguity.
Zhu Shiyi didn't hesitate. She lowered her head, looked at Pan Yue's steps, and subconsciously slowed her pace to match his.
Under the pale moonlight, two figures swayed and staggered with each step, yet remained firmly close together.
So intimate.
A slight tremor ran through her heart, and her hidden thoughts were about to surface.
Zhu Shiyi's hand trembled slightly. She steadied her breathing, opened her lips, and cried out in a loud and carefree tone, "It's too dark here, I can't see the way, can you lead me?"
As soon as she finished speaking, she touched Pan Yue's sleeve.
In the dim light, she couldn't see his eyes clearly.
But Pan Yue did not struggle.
Zhu Shiyi steeled her resolve, grabbed his sleeve with her fingers.
She feigned composure and laughed heartily, "That's much safer."
Pan Yue did not look at her.
The moonlight blurred his profile; Pan Yue's face, his eyebrows and eyelashes looked so soft, making one want to reach out and pinch them.
"Is your night blindness severe?" Pan Yue asked abruptly. "Night vision impairment requires more vitamin A supplements, or you can take some fish oil for health maintenance."
Zhu Shiyi: ......
Thank you. If you have nothing to say, you can remain silent.
Talking to straight men is infuriating.
She has terrible night blindness.
Zhu Shiyi sighed, trying to comfort himself.
That's good too; at least it proves that the excuse she came up with was very plausible, and Pan Yue believed it without a doubt.
"Can we get nutritional supplements from food?" Zhu Shiyi asked.
She noticed that Pan Yue was particularly talkative when discussing nutrition and health.
“Okay,” Pan Yue lowered his eyes, glanced at her, and then smiled slightly. “Just eat carrots. Remember, don’t cut them into chunks, cut them into shreds.”
My heart felt like it had been electrocuted.
Zhu Shiyi raised his lips.
Unexpectedly, he still remembered her strange habit: she didn't eat carrot chunks, only carrot shreds.
......
Moonlight is a catalyst for ambiguity.
Zhu Shiyi became increasingly greedy.
She loosened her grip slightly, her hand trembling as it slowly slid down to touch his sleeve.
Zhu Shiyi quietly lifted his eyes; Pan Yue didn't seem to find anything strange.
She steeled herself, pressed her hand against his skin, traced her fingers along his sleeve to his palm, and grasped his fingers.
Pan Yue gently twitched his little finger, bending it slightly in her palm.
Zhu Shiyi loosened his grip slightly, proceeding cautiously and daring not to move.
Her brain was working at lightning speed.
Pan Yue will definitely ask her what's wrong. How should she answer?
...Then she would say, "I'm sorry, my hands were cold, I touched them by accident."
......
After walking for a long time, Pan Yue didn't ask a single question.
They walked slowly, each step graceful and melodious.
Only their arms, which were touching, remained motionless, stiff and unmoving.
In the dim light, Zhu Shiyi chuckled to himself.
She enjoyed taking walks with him.
No need for awkward eye contact, no need for stammering conversation.
Everything seemed to have already happened, an unspoken understanding.
And so, holding his hand, we simply followed the moonlight.
Tonight will be a wonderful memory for Zhu Shiyi;
It is also by Pan Yue, and is irreplaceable.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com