Endure
When the New Year's Day holiday falls on a Monday, it's gym day.
Unlike usual, when I just took the elevator down.
Zhu Shiyi sent Pan Yue a WeChat message: [Are you going to the gym tonight?]
It felt like years had passed in just two days.
She hoped to get a positive answer.
Pan Yue: [I can't go tonight, I'm still at home, I'll leave tomorrow.]
Zhu Shiyi, settling for second best, suggested: "How about we postpone the gym session to Tuesday?"
She brought over the ukulele and played the strings in a comforting manner.
We parted ways last Friday night and won't see each other again until Tuesday night this week. It's so agonizing.
Pan Yue: [Wednesday, I have some personal matters to attend to on Tuesday.]
Zhu Shiyi suffered a heart attack.
Hope is like a deflated balloon, leaving people feeling utterly disheartened.
She acted as if nothing was wrong: "Okay, it's nothing."
Before adulthood, the word "private affairs" did not exist in Zhu Shiyi's dictionary. As a child, he had no time to think ahead and spoke his mind. It was only when he grew up that he realized that sometimes, what he thought was being honest and straightforward and speaking without reservation could lead to "saying too much and making mistakes."
Zhu Shiyi could rationally understand that Pan Yue's reluctance to speak directly might be a sign of maturity.
But deep down, in the hidden corners of her heart, she still cared.
Did Pan Yue have no desire to confide in her?
There always seemed to be a clear boundary line between them.
Pan Yue sent a message: "It really is something we agreed on a long time ago."
Zhu Shiyi pursed her lips, her mood fluctuating.
Occasionally, she seems to be able to cross that boundary.
But whether she could actually cross it, or even if she had crossed it at all, she didn't know.
Pan Yue was never moved by her "offense," but he never explored her deeply either.
Zhu Shiyi occasionally comforted herself: Pan Yue was more distant from others, but he was already very different from her.
But Zhu Shiyi also worries that this "difference" is the difference between strangers and friends, or the difference between friends and lovers.
......
So what were Pan Yue's private affairs?
A work dinner?
......
Pan Yue said he was still at home.
No way... it'll still be a blind date, right?
Zhu Shiyi finally realized that, in her heart, the matter of Pan Yue's blind date was not truly over.
Perhaps it's not about the act of "blind date" itself, but rather the implied meaning behind "agreeing to go on a blind date".
The stories of him being forced into a dark room with a knife to his neck, or his parents ordering him to go on blind dates, are all baseless imaginings.
In fact, does Pan Yue's agreement to go on a blind date prove that he didn't have a girl he liked, which is why he didn't refuse?
She was unsure, but had no other choice; all she could do was ask fiercely:
Who invented these annoying words, "politeness" and "quality"?
If he lacked manners, would Pan Yue even bother going on blind dates?
Since he lacks manners, Zhu Shiyi will definitely ask Pan Yue bluntly: What exactly is your private matter?
The phone lit up.
Zhu Shiyi stared intently, momentarily stunned.
This was a long-awaited phone call.
Zhu Shiyi answered, "Mom."
"How's school? When do you get to go home for the holidays?" Liu Lu's greeting came suddenly.
"I'm not quite sure about the exact time yet." Zhu Shiyi then told Liu Lu about her off-campus internship and staying at a friend's house.
As expected, I was subjected to a long, rambling conversation that lasted for more than half an hour.
“No matter how much we urged you to do the summer internship, you refused. Now that you've finally realized your mistake, your parents are more than happy to oblige. But you're staying at a stranger's house without even telling us. Do you not respect your parents, or do you think you don't have parents at all...?”
"Mom—" Seeing that the conversation was getting more and more off track, Zhu Shiyi quickly raised her voice to interrupt, "It was wrong of me not to tell you in advance, but you didn't need to say these things."
“You went to university so far away. Although your mother was worried, she didn’t stop you. But you should at least let me know that you are safe, right? You stayed at someone else’s house without saying a word. What mother in the world wouldn’t worry?”
Once Liu Lu starts rambling, she can talk about anything and everything, without ever stopping.
After listening for a while, Zhu Shiyi's mood also soured: "I was just staying at a friend's house, and she's a girl, so there really wasn't anything wrong. I trust her. I'm an adult now, and I can take care of myself. Besides, even when I wasn't an adult before, I still took care of myself, didn't I?"
"Why are you taking care of yourself again? You were born, did you think you could grow up on your own? I cook for you, feed you, and take care of your diapers every day..."
"You always say things like that," Zhu Shiyi said, annoyed. "My elementary school was so far away. From second grade onwards, didn't I take the bus to school alone every day? And when I got older, you never asked my opinion before signing me up for singing competitions and performances. In the end, didn't I still have to take the subway alone?"
"You have a bus to take and you're complaining? When your dad and I were kids, we had to get up before dawn, around three or four in the morning, to do farm work, make breakfast for our families, and then hike over the mountains to get to school. Do you think the roads back then were the same as the main roads you have now? We had stray dogs and graves on our roads..."
Zhu Shiyi: ......
Forget it, I'll just let her have her way; there's no reasoning with her.
Zhu Shiyi took a deep breath and tried to keep her tone calm: "Okay, Mom, I didn't mean to blame you. I just wanted to say that I can manage myself."
“I know you can do it. You always think you can do everything, but your mother can’t do anything,” Liu Lu’s voice suddenly trembled with tears. “Is it wrong for me to worry about you? I’m always taking care of you and your brother. Your father is out there earning money, and your brother is so immature. Can’t you let me worry less?”
Sharp edges and a mother's fragility are both rendered powerless.
Zhu Shiyi softened her voice: "I know you're tired, and it was my fault, but don't worry, I'm really fine."
Liu Lu poured out her grievances for a while before calming down.
"Okay, Mom knows you're very sensible and considerate when you do things. You're all grown up now and have more things to do, but the outside world is complicated, so you need to be careful when you're out there, okay?"
"Also, don't stay up late every night. I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom the other day and watched some videos, and I saw you were online. Oh, and don't eat that junk food from outside..."
Zhu Shiyi was amused: "Does your daughter live on garbage outside?"
Liu Lu also laughed out loud.
"In short, whatever you want to do, your father and I will never object. It's always been like this, hasn't it? You've always been a girl with your own ideas, and I know that. But next time, if there's something important, you should at least tell your father and me first, understand?"
Zhu Shiyi felt a lump in her throat, but she forced herself to purse her lips and said, "I know, I won't do it again next time. Let's not talk about those things."
She deliberately raised her voice to make it sound more cheerful: "I get paid during my internship, so I'll send you a red envelope?"
Liu Lu paused, then drawled, "That good?"
"Consider this a New Year's gift?" Zhu Shiyi transferred a 200 yuan red envelope to Liu Lu via WeChat.
My wallet aches, but I feel free.
Liu Lu sighed with emotion: "They've grown up so much!"
She accepted the red envelope: "Thank you, my daughter. Mom is transferring five hundred yuan to you. You're still studying, and your dad hasn't retired yet, so you don't have to support the family. Use the money to buy some good food and have a happy New Year."
As soon as he finished speaking, Zhu Shiyi received the transfer in his Alipay account.
She pursed her lips after hanging up the phone.
Zhu Shiyi buried his head and took a deep sniff.
A warm, thick scent of peach wood filled my nostrils.
It is a sense of security.
When he was little, Zhu Shiyi loved to lie on the floor of his room and read, enjoying the warm, comforting scent of the wooden floor.
Twenty years have passed, and my mother is still the same: she'll slap me, then give me a piece of candy.
It was still a piece of candy she couldn't refuse.
She thought, maybe it was because the candy was too delicious, or maybe it was because her mother's slap wasn't loud enough.
Never mind!
Zhu Shiyi sighed deeply.
Life can't always go as planned.
Whether it's love or family affection, they are all strongly connected to another free-willed entity; she alone cannot make that decision.
Only this piece of peach wood in front of me.
Fingertips touched the headstock of the instrument, and the strings were plucked.
The sound holes resonated and vibrated in her hands, obedient and lively.
She was the only person in the entire space.
Zhu Shiyi smiled.
She really liked it; it was small, warm, and made of wood.
--
The office was lifeless after the New Year's Day holiday.
Zhu Shiyi began to re-examine her marketing plan.
SWOT analysis, Porter's Five Forces model...
Zhu Shiyi's head was about to explode just writing the background analysis.
That evening, Zhu Shiyi sent Pan Yue the daily newspaper as usual, and also asked for his help.
Zhu Shiyi: [I now know roughly which directions each part should branch out in, but I can't seem to write anything specific.]
Pan Yue: [Theoretical tools can help to specialize content, but they are not a guide.]
Pan Yue: [The theory covers too broad a scope. You should first think about the core aspects of this product to understand what the key points are, how to price it, and how to promote it. I'll send you a few planning proposals for your reference.]
Zhu Shiyi responded.
After finishing our business, we chatted casually, as usual.
Zhu Shiyi's words were a blatant hint: "You have plans with someone else. Would it bother you if I texted you?"
Translation: What are you doing?
Pan Yue: [No.]
Pan Yue: [But sometimes I might not be able to reply in time.]
Unable to reply in time?
It seems I'm keeping an important appointment.
Zhu Shiyi didn't want to waste any more time on internal conflicts, so she put down her phone and picked up her laptop.
She downloaded the music production software recommended by Yu Fan. With nothing to do after get off work, she decided to explore this thing and play around with it to pass the time.
......
The streets and alleys were brightly lit even in the cold winter.
Amidst the clinking of glasses, men, women, and children of all ages toasted and exchanged toasts.
However, his face did not display a polite and official smile.
The spicy beef tallow hot pot broth is bubbling and boiling. A piece of tender meat is hidden between the chopsticks. Dip it in for 9 seconds and lift it up quickly. The aroma is immediately irresistible.
The happiness I feel right now is measured in seconds.
"It still has to be the hot pot with oil sauce," Lin Changren said, stuffing his mouth full. "It's so delicious."
Pan Yue took a large piece of pork belly, coated it with sesame oil, and put it in his mouth.
The smooth, oily aroma spread in his mouth as he chewed and swallowed silently.
Pan Yue opened the can with one hand, stretched it out, and said, "Cheers!"
Lin Changren wiped his mouth and picked up the wine can with three fingers: "Happy birthday, brother."
Pan Yue smiled, tilted his head back, and swallowed about half a bottle.
"Enjoy life while you can, for tomorrow you may die," Lin Changren said, holding a beer can and swaying his head as he recited poetry by the window. "It's another year, let's have hot pot and get drunk together."
“Drink less, it’s unhealthy,” Pan Yue advised. “Eat more meat, don’t try to save me money.”
"Don't say a word," Lin Changren said in his dialect. "Eat what you want, drink what you want. You only have this one day a year to indulge in eating and drinking to your heart's content, so why worry about so much?"
Pan Yue was relieved: "Okay."
Inside the pot, it's sizzling hot; outside, it's the lively atmosphere of everyday life.
Several more plates of fresh ingredients were poured in, and ingredients from all over the world were stewed together in one pot. Regardless of nutritional value or season, they tumbled in the chaotic red sea of ingredients, gradually forming a completely new order.
Regardless of the cooking time, everything you pick up with your chopsticks is described as delicious.
Pan Yue became increasingly relaxed, and even while chatting with Lin Changren, he wanted to tease him a bit more.
“That’s more like you,” Lin Changren said, poking at the oil dish with a knowing smile. “Every time I see you acting all high and mighty in the office, I can’t help but laugh.”
Pan Yue was merciless: "If you want to be scolded, just say so."
“Brother, I’m serious,” Lin Changren sat up straight and looked him straight in the eye, “It’s really too hard for you to live like this. You have to endure eating, you have to be picky about what you drink, you have to pretend in the office, and you even have to suppress your feelings for a girl. Tell me, when will you ever be able to win over Shiyi?”
Pan Yue was taken aback and looked away: "Who said I like her?"
Lin Changren smiled mysteriously: "I know my son better than my father."
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