Ending of the main text
The sun is especially scorching on the plateau.
Zhu Shiyi woke up amidst a halo of light and instinctively turned his head to look. Pan Yue lay on his side on the pillow, his eyes lazily closed, his raven-feather-like eyelashes drooping down, casting a soft shadow. He looked very gentle, and his breathing was steady. It seemed that he was still dreaming.
She couldn't help but reach out and touch his soft, long eyelashes. Afraid of disturbing him, Zhu Shiyi withdrew her hand and casually shifted her body. A sudden wave of soreness surged through her lower back, and she couldn't help but hiss.
Pan Yue slowly opened his eyes. He felt a moment of drowsiness, but it vanished the moment he saw her, leaving only warmth and satisfaction.
Did I wake you up?
"No, I've had enough sleep." Pan Yue smiled, his eyes full of tenderness.
Zhu Shiyi leaned closer, buried her head beside him, and murmured coquettishly, "My back hurts, my legs hurt."
Pan Yue chuckled and patted and massaged her muscles for a while, making her feel much more comfortable. She reached out and touched his face, stroking his jawline. Pan Yue grabbed her hand and pulled her over, and she rolled over and lay on top of him.
Pan Yue took her hand and brought it to his lips, then lowered his gaze and kissed it lightly.
Zhu Shiyi rarely had the chance to look down at him, so he found it novel and started touching him all over.
He let him do as he pleased: "Where else does it hurt?"
"My butt hurts."
Pan Yue raised an eyebrow and slapped her on the butt.
There's another cover by the bedside.
Zhu Shiyi shrank back instantly: "Never mind, never mind." My back is about to break, and I still have to go out today.
--
The 4S store was reliable, and there was nothing seriously wrong with the car. After lunch, the four of them picked up the car and continued their special trip to western Chengdu.
Once again, they crossed tunnels and entered the clouds. Two days later, they arrived at the new scenic area. Pan Yue and Lin Changren went to talk to the person in charge, while Yu Fan and Zhu Shiyi didn't care. The two wandered around aimlessly, piling up maple leaves, taking pictures of snow-capped mountains, swinging on swings, and eating yak jerky, enjoying their leisure.
Exhausted from walking around for so long, Zhu Shiyi's legs ached terribly, so he lay down on the lawn.
By the end of October, Rongxi had already experienced its first snowfall of the year. The alpine meadows were gradually turning yellow, and at the tips of the grass roots, there were still a few drops of melted snow water, which were very cold.
"It's cold on the ground, you can't lie down here," Yu Fan said with concern.
Zhu Shiyi didn't want to get up: "It's okay, I'm wearing a down jacket, it's waterproof and very warm, I won't get cold."
“Okay,” Yu Fan didn’t try to persuade him any further, “Then I’ll go to the car and get you a cushion, and while I’m at it, I’ll see when Lin Changren and the other guy will be done with their work.”
Yu Fan left, her voice growing fainter and fainter until it vanished completely. In the undeveloped scenic area, on the deserted hillside, apart from her breath, there was no sign of human presence.
Zhu Shiyi, however, was not afraid. Blue sky, white clouds, falling leaves, birdsong, the autumn wind blowing through her hair, grass supporting her body, everything around her enveloped her, beautiful and peaceful.
She couldn't help but take out her earphones from her pocket and put them on, then silently opened her music app, but for a moment she didn't know what to listen to. Suddenly she remembered that night.
The first night I truly met Pan Yue.
They were like that too, lying on the beach, playing a song, talking intimately, no longer caring about anyone passing by. Their world didn't have "you" or "me" between them, only the wind, sand, stars, and waves.
"In the state of 'no-self,' one observes things through the lens of things, thus not knowing what is 'self' and what is 'thing.'"
The feeling I had on the beach that night surged up like a tidal wave.
From the year she met Pan Yue to the moment she opened her heart to him, nearly five years had passed. During these five years, she had been searching for one question—
"who I am?
The question of "who am I" leads to a series of questions about "what should I do", "what am I good at", and "where should I go".
So she tried many things: participating in competitions, doing marketing internships, taking postgraduate entrance exams in a different field, creating music, working in social media, and so on. For a long time, all of "my" pain and doubts were just "me".
What is the purpose of all this?
She had thought about this problem five years ago—
For money.
Why money?
It's for a better life.
But she's not exactly rich now, so has she achieved a better life?
......
Zhu Shiyi's answer is uncertain.
She spent over 100,000 yuan on graduate school, but at her new company, working day and night with weekends off was a luxury, and her monthly salary was only 6,000 yuan. Even with her side hustle, it only increased by a little over 1,000 yuan per month on average. Despite working in a music-related field, she didn't particularly like this specific role and didn't think this kind of life was good.
Should she give up? Give up the job that supports her life, give up a career related to the industry she loves? She was tempted to do so, but felt more strongly that she shouldn't.
Because the "me" she found along the way—the one who insists on action, is down-to-earth, believes in hardship before reward, and is both rational and emotional—doesn't support this approach. She has the courage to change, but lacks the direction to do so, and everything seems to have fallen back into the initial confusion.
So now, Zhu Shiyi, have you found "me"?
......
She pondered for a few seconds, as if she had an answer, but couldn't quite put her finger on it.
Abstract things are hard to describe, but bodily sensations are very clear.
At that moment, she could clearly feel the wind and the sunlight, which were both chilling and warming her at the same time, yet somehow balanced.
She suddenly felt as if she had become a tree, standing still, yet able to grow into a towering tree that could break through the winds of the heavens.
Sunlight, mist, fallen leaves, autumn wind—everything around her nourishes her. She draws nourishment from nature endlessly, constantly taking root, sprouting, and growing upwards and downwards.
A cool breeze carried her memories, and she once again felt the tranquility of that night at the beach five years ago.
At that moment, she was calm, but the energy within her was about to burst forth, and her heart was burning hot.
Yes.
This is the "state of selflessness".
The moment a person encounters and becomes acquainted with their soul, that is when "I" am alive; and "my" world also exists.
Therefore, we've done most of what we can; the rest is up to fate. Life is full of difficult choices, so why force things immediately? Let's entrust everything to the sunshine, the grass, the ginkgo trees, and the wind.
A thought flickered in Zhu Shiyi's mind, and she selected "Forever Young." Everything playing in her ears pulled her back to countless moments—
Beach nights, bar mornings, park afternoons, roses in my arms, snow on Yaoliang Mountain, the passion of the night before last...
From childhood to adulthood, the moment I was submerged in the pool and enveloped in freedom.
Water, freedom, forever young.
Five years ago, climbing to the top of the mountain, Zhu Shiyi saw mountains as not mountains and water as not water.
Five years later, amidst the meadows, Zhu Shiyi saw mountains as mountains and water as water.
......
Several familiar voices rang in my ears.
"You're still lying there, Xiao Yi!" Yu Fan ran over excitedly. "Quick, get up, I'll put a picnic blanket on your picnic blanket!"
As she stood up, Zhu Shiyi felt a little reluctant. Pan Yue walked over, squatted down beside her, took out a tissue from his pocket, and gently wiped her back.
"Why are you lying here all by yourself?" He touched her neck, which was a little cold, and then warmed it with his hand.
“I’m just like you,” Zhu Shiyi said with a smile. “I also like to lie down.”
Lin Changren suddenly interjected: "The fact that you're lying down reminds me of when we first met, we were lying together on the beach in Qin City."
“From Qincheng to Jinrong!” Yu Fan laughed generously. “Every time I think about it, I feel it’s truly fate. Especially Shiyi and President Pan, they met in Qincheng and started dating in Jinrong!”
Lin Changren, the straight man, said, "After going around in circles in two different places, isn't it sweet!"
Zhu Shiyi responded a few times, genuinely pleased.
They've traveled to more than just two places. They've spent time together in Qincheng, Jinrong, Yuecheng, Yaoliang, Jiangming, and Rongxi, and in the future, they'll go to his hometown Hanshan, and many more places.
"Let's lie down together!" As soon as he finished speaking, Lin Changren couldn't wait to lie down on the grass.
Yu Fan pulled over a picnic blanket and lay down; Zhu Shiyi lay on the blanket next to Yu Fan; Pan Yue lay on the grass next to Zhu Shiyi.
They chatted casually and listened to a lot of songs together.
At an ordinary moment, Zhu Shiyi casually turned her head and looked at the person she loved. He had deep-set eyebrows and a high nose bridge, and was unbelievably handsome. Pan Yue turned his head and his gaze fell on her.
Zhu Shiyi couldn't help but chuckle, gently meeting those eyes that pierced her heart the most. It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and Pan Yue's eyes were deep and unfathomable, yet when he looked at her, they were always clear. His heart was the same; weighing all worldly matters, she alone was number one.
As he shifted his body, he lay down on the grass with him, the cool grass clinging tightly to the back of his collar, but Zhu Shiyi was not annoyed; instead, he felt at ease.
Pan Yue lowered his hand and put it under her neck as a pillow: "Why are you lying down here?"
Zhu Shiyi casually said, "If you want to lie down, then come and lie down."
So many memories of him flashed through my mind: lying on the beach, lying on the surface of a pool, lying on the grass in the park, lying side by side on the bed...
All sorts of things can enlighten people and captivate their hearts.
Nature is so amazing.
My friend, if you get lost, please lie down on the ground.
--
Spring is here, flowers are in bloom, summer is ending and autumn is here, and another winter is upon us.
One year later.
It's rare for Jinrong to have snow in winter. On the first snow day, the niche musician "Zhu Shiyi" released a new song called "Water," which became an instant hit.
Reporters came to interview him and asked about the inspiration behind the song "Water".
“Hmm…sometimes, when you try to express yourself, your feelings just crumble,” Zhu Shiyi replied seriously after thinking for a while. “I’m not some great writer, so I can’t express it very precisely. This song is just expressing the idea of taking things as they come.”
Reporter: "Accepting whatever comes your way? In today's anxious society, accepting whatever comes your way is a luxury. We advocate taking action and not giving up. For example, if your song hadn't become a hit, you probably wouldn't be able to accept whatever comes your way, right?"
Zhu Shiyi was not annoyed by the tricky questions.
“I used to be very anxious, and I would do my best for what I wanted, whether it was material desires or spiritual desires. But I found that even if you do your best in everything, the result is usually just mediocre. Sometimes it's just a matter of lacking inspiration or luck.”
"Since we can't change things no matter how hard we try, we might as well be more forgiving and caring towards ourselves. We shouldn't waste our lives worrying. We should just leave everything to nature and time. Maybe one day things will turn around, won't they?"
Reporter: "What if there's no turning around?"
Zhu Shiyi: "Do your best and leave the rest to fate. If there's no turning point, just live a good life and live a simple, ordinary life. I think that's not so bad."
The reporter laughed: "Teacher, you have such a great attitude. So why is water your inspiration?"
"Because I like water. Water is something we can touch, yet it also has a great and mysterious power that I can't quite explain," Zhu Shiyi joked. "I hope that among the listeners who like this, there are talented people who can be my mouth double."
......
In just a few months, millions of yuan in copyright fees flowed into her bank account. Zhu Shiyi laughed so hard she cramped up; she had never seen so much money in her life.
She quit her job immediately, and together with Pan Yue, they pooled their money and spent their time looking at houses in the best areas of Jinrong.
Pan Yue: "Actually, you could go back to Yuecheng and buy a set."
"Can anyone afford a house in Yuecheng?!" Zhu Shiyi exclaimed without hesitation. "For the same price and in the same downtown location, you can only buy a small, old apartment in Yuecheng!"
While the new house was still undecided, Zhu Shiyi went home and gave each of his parents a red envelope containing 50,000 yuan. He also gave Zhu Shijie a red envelope containing 500 yuan. Just like when he was a child, he stayed there lazily for a month. Liu Lu's attitude changed from delight to normal dislike.
Indeed, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
The older generation's lifestyle was unchangeable, which Zhu Shiyi disliked and was not used to. At the moment when the bond between mother and daughter was about to be exhausted, she returned to Jinrong.
Pan Yue picked her up from the airport, and they went back to the house that Pan Yue had been renting for several years. Although it was rented, it felt as warm and cozy as home because of Zhu Shiyi's presence.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and that night's lovemaking was especially intense.
After the pleasure subsided, Zhu Shiyi nestled in Pan Yue's arms, recounting the events of the past month. It seemed they had endless things to talk about tonight.
When talking about his parents, Zhu Shiyi suddenly thought of a question.
"What do you think is your greatest strength?" she asked Pan Yue.
Pan Yue pondered for a few seconds.
"tolerate."
Zhu Shiyi smiled brightly: "I think so too."
From childhood to adulthood, she was always taught by her parents to be tolerant of others, but she never truly accepted her own ordinariness or tolerated herself.
It was Pan Yue who filled this void.
In the future, she will work hard to make up for this empty space.
The seventh path is suitable for all things: love yourself.
Embrace and accept everything, especially the unchangeable fate and your own imperfections.
—End of text—
Sparse shadows, June 11, 2025
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