Chapter 61 is a professional drama about ex-boyfriends.
It was already November when Sasa finished handing over her work. November in Beijing in 2022 was particularly cold.
After she returned home with the cardboard box containing her resignation letter, she suddenly felt that the strings that had been stretched tight for years loosened. Her first reaction to the loosened strings was to run to the bedroom and fall into a deep sleep.
Beijing was experiencing another rapid temperature drop that day, plummeting to just a few degrees above zero. When she woke up, it was already midnight, and her nose was cold. Wrapped in a blanket, she went to the closet to find a thicker quilt, but unexpectedly, she found a Jo Malone fragrance that Zhou Chengyuan had left behind.
She lit the incense with a lighter, held the flame to light a cigarette, then went to the refrigerator to find half a bottle of Burgundy, and finally played some jazz music on Zhou Chengyuan's BO speakers.
While smoking, drinking and listening to jazz, she suddenly realized that after starting her own business, her life would be even busier than it is now, and she might never have such free time again.
I don't know why, but on the first night after leaving her job, Sasa suddenly felt so lonely. Maybe it was because she had spent the past thirty years of her life looking for a boat to support her: a wealthy family as a child, a mature relationship during adolescence, her mother saying she bought a new house in her name, and then a tight job with good pay.
All the people, events, and things that had once brought her down ended on this single night. The first ending came when her mother told her we needed to live frugally for a while, then when Chen Ang said we weren't a good match, then when her mother said she was going to mortgage the house, and finally, five hours ago, when she handed in her work badge and said goodbye to her boss and colleagues. Her new entrepreneurial choice meant another period of time, like someone floating in mid-air, unable to land.
Before getting drunk, Sasa sent a message to the Love Beasts group, "I suddenly want to fall in love. I want to take a gap for a while and do nothing. I want to be loved. I want to fall in love."
Sun Ziyi quickly replied, "Everyone in the mental hospital wants to be loved. I saw this on Weibo and am sharing it with you."
Sasa was amused: I have to find someone to practice on. I haven’t been in a relationship for many years and I have forgotten all the procedures for flirting.
Sun Ziyi: You were very knowledgeable when you taught me, why are you so clumsy now?
Sasa: Because a bystander can see things more clearly, if I go on a date again, I will definitely not be better than you.
After finishing half a bottle of wine, Sasa texted Zhou Chengyuan, "Can I borrow your house for a while longer? I want to spend the winter there."
Zhou Chengyuan replied: Ok, whatever you want.
Sasa sent another message: I’ll transfer the rent to your Alipay.
Zhou Chengyuan: Okay.
-
People with strong execution ability have a characteristic that is hard to say whether it is an advantage or a disadvantage, which is that they treat relationships like a business deal.
The next night, Sasa already had a potential group on WeChat, consisting of three boys.
The first one has a good education, but earns little.
The second condition is good, but it says less.
The third one is worth pondering because he has nothing but humor.
The first two were introduced by friends, and the third one was seen on her WeChat Moments. She forgot how she added him, but she only remembered that she always passed the other person’s WeChat Moments to her friends, and then everyone laughed together.
In fact, neither Sun Ziyi nor Shen Qingqing had expected that in winter even Sasa, the invulnerable money-making machine, would want to be loved, but unfortunately they didn't have any good people to introduce to Sasa.
Sasa is quite free, but she actively gives feedback on her progress to the two people every day.
The first one has a good education, but he is always in a hurry to make appointments with me. He always makes appointments the night before if he wants to have dinner the next day, and sometimes he even slaps his forehead and says he is too busy.
Chen Qingqing uttered an "oh," saying it was because he wanted to control you. How busy could he be? Who doesn't reply to WeChat in three seconds? Unless he's an old man with shaking hands, he can't type eight words in three minutes, trembling...
The second one has good conditions, and good morning, noon and night messages are sent on time, but they disappear every Saturday and Wednesday night.
Sun Ziyi said that it must be because he has a girlfriend!
Sasa said the third one is very interesting!
The third boy asked her, "Are you willing to travel around the world with me? Let's go to Erhai Lake and open an inn, and you can be my most beautiful proprietress!"
.......
Sasa said we had only known each other for half a month, how could he let me be his most beautiful boss lady...
-
In short, during the first month of her gap year, Sasa had mastered the push-and-pull tactics of urban men and women. In a relationship, there's always a kite hanging in the balance. One of you has to feign indifference. Whoever can hold their breath will ultimately grab the string, and you'll have the final say on tightening and loosening the strings. She understood all this, but she was always the one who couldn't hold her breath, always deleting the other person in the end. But letting things slide for a bit, learning to turn a blind eye, might lead to new developments.
Shen Qingqing still felt strange. She thought that with Sasa's conditions and face, she shouldn't be looked down upon like this, so she deliberately looked through Sasa's chat history with them. When she opened it, Shen Qingqing almost fainted. Sasa would say to the other party after chatting for a week, "I don't have a job now, no house, no household registration, and no income. I just want to find a suitable person to fall in love with. Please consider it."
Chen Qingqing reached out and grabbed Sasa's neck, saying, "You should be a little more skillful. We're all ready to embark on this gamble of love, so how can you show your cards right at the start? You'll lose all your chips this way! Leave naked!"
Sasa argued: I just want to optimize the result. I have nothing now. If I hide myself too well in the early stage, and I fail in my business later and achieve nothing, and the other party kicks me out, won’t I suffer a terrible loss?
Chen Qingqing was very puzzled and said, your starting point is wrong. Isn't the first starting point of your relationship love?
Sasa stretched out her hands and held Shen Qingqing’s face: “Qingqing, I want to practice now.
Sun Ziyi said: A relationship without excitement will break down after a month at most! The reason Xu Zecheng and I are still in love is because we like each other very much!
Sasa chuckled and said, "Then I'll just do some relationship stuff! One month with this guy, one month with the next, and twelve people for a year!" Delicious! My gap year was spent with twelve guys, and that's pretty epic to tell anyone about!
Shen Qingqing was speechless and said, "Do you think you are running a marathon?"
"I must find a spiritual sustenance now!" said Sasa.
Shen Qingqing said, "Actually, we can analyze the result orientation. First of all, you are definitely not in a relationship to suffer, nor to get married, right? You should aim for happiness and then enjoy the happiness."
-
After returning home, Sasa started listening to jazz, lighting incense, and opening a new bottle of red wine.
Her cell phone suddenly rang, and the person who sent the WeChat message was Bai Yiding.
Bai Yiding sent: Susu, I landed in Shanghai on the 25th and will be quarantined for a while. What are you doing?
He jumped up from the bed, took a deep breath, and typed out the words solemnly, "I'm here."
She didn't even realize that people weren't asking if she was there, but what were you doing?
-
That was when Sasa was in high school. Bai Yiding was a well-known rich second-generation. He was very rich at that time. He was 187 cm tall, looked very mature, and spoke very steadily.
At that time, Sasa was not yet Sasa, but the soft, delicate and arrogant Chen Susu.
One evening during self-study, she and her classmates went to a milk tea shop to buy milk tea. When her classmate greeted Bai Yiding, she was immediately struck by his handsomeness. He impressed her the whole night. The next day, before she decided to ask for Bai Yiding's QQ number, Bai Yiding had already added hers...
Sasa excitedly said to Sun Ziyi, "I said I'd forgotten what it felt like to be in love, but when Bai Yiding spoke to me, I suddenly remembered. Even if I'm sick, I have to go to school! Even if the sky falls and the earth breaks, I have to go to school! Even if I can't catch the school bus and have to take a taxi, I have to go to school! Because waiting for me at school is a handsome face and a 187cm tall boyfriend!"
Sun Ziyi and Shen Qingqing changed Sasa's note to "Specializing in ex-boyfriends"
Of course, Sasa didn't stay with Bai Yiding for too long. They broke up after two or three months. Her problem was that she pushed him too hard. Once the other party didn't reply for more than two hours, she would break down and question Bai Yiding why he didn't reply to her.
Bai Yiding said, I forgot.
Forgot, forget, forget, forget, forget.
In the end, Chen Susu caused such a huge uproar that Bai Yiding had to transfer to another school.
-
Because of the time difference, morning for Bai Yiding is night for Sasa. He often puts his phone on the windshield when he video calls Sasa, and takes her to buy breakfast. Sasa asks, "Do you live alone?"
Bai Yiding said that if there were other people around, it would be too noisy.
After chatting for a few days, Bai Yiding took her to buy breakfast again. He asked, "Do you remember our first date? It was on Christmas? I was waiting for you at an intersection, and you took the wrong road, but you didn't allow me to come find you, insisting on trekking through mountains and rivers to get to me."
Sasa actually forgot, but she pretended to remember it, saying, "I remember it was at the mall next to the school. What's the point of trekking through mountains and rivers?" It's just 800 meters to the intersection. It's just that I used the chicken feather as a token of authority to emphasize that I walked the extra 800 meters for you.
Bai Yiding ignored the second half of the sentence and said with surprise, "You really remember it. I thought you wouldn't remember these."
Sasa thought that because all my high school boyfriends went on dates at that mall...
Bai Yiding said that the next Christmas will be twelve years away from that Christmas.
Sasa thought for a moment and said, "Twelve years?" I was already 1.68 meters tall when I was twelve, and I haven't grown any taller in all these years.
Bai Yiding drove to a fast food restaurant. He stopped the car but did not get out. He turned the camera over, stood face to face with Sasa, and slowly said: When I was twelve years old, my parents decided to divorce.
Sasa turned the camera on her phone to the back, letting Bai Yiding see her light, a warm yellow one. Then she solemnly apologized to him. "I was too young back then, too ignorant. I knew your parents were divorced, that you lived with your mother, that the day we broke up was your mother's birthday, and that you went to Shanghai to have dinner with her. But I was so insecure, I insisted you coax me all the time."
Bai Yiding said, don’t talk about this, it would be nice if we could just meet again.
Sasa said, yes, it would be nice to meet again.
During those nights spent following Bai Yiding around, she came to a realization. A man like Bai Yiding—handsome, sensitive, wealthy, and someone who'd been seeing a therapist since high school—was a typical "rich second generation" pursuing spiritual well-being. So, when he didn't reply to her messages, it wasn't because he'd found a new love, but simply wanted to be alone and quiet. After all, the pain of family discord she'd later endured was truly so excruciating that she'd longed to escape, and he'd been living that same life since he was twelve.
But she didn't really feel sorry for Bai Yiding. After all, many years had passed, and no one knew what had become of them. Perhaps everything was just the character settings before the man and woman started to push and pull. Besides, Bai Yiding was a rich man, and rich people didn't need others to feel sorry for them.
Sasa was still complacent and thought that Bai Yiding's sudden return to China during the period when she wanted to take a gap must be God's ingenuity. She decided to get in touch with Bai Yiding again. She wanted to put the experience she learned from the first three men, as well as Lin Bozhou and Chen Ang, to good use with Bai Yiding.
Unexpectedly, the people who could really stimulate her senses in the end were those two years of adolescence, Bai Yiding and Chen Ang.
Of course, she also knows that it is not the person at this moment that keeps her awake at night, but her own strong emotional fluctuations during adolescence. The fluctuating emotions in her memories will affect your current judgment of this person.
But she was willing to enjoy this kind of judgment that might be wrong. After all, the men she met in the adult world were too shrewd and liked to weigh people too much. Thinking about this, it was really ordinary and boring.
-
On Christmas Day of 22 years, Bai Yiding ended his quarantine and landed in Beijing. Sasa did not go to the airport to pick him up, but went directly to the booked hotel to wait for him.
She deliberately arrived half an hour late, and when she walked into the restaurant exhausted, she recognized Bai Yiding at a glance.
Bai Yiding was the youngest man in his thirties she had ever met, or rather, standing here, he was still that boy. From his eyes, one could tell that he had never suffered from financial hardship during his years abroad.
Sasa walked to the table and took a seat without rushing. She first grabbed a handful of chocolate coins from her pocket, handed them to him, and asked him, "Do you still like to eat this? You always bought it in high school. Knowing you were coming back, I asked someone from my hometown to buy it for you at the school supermarket in advance."
Bai Yiding reached out and took a chocolate, carefully unwrapped the golden tin foil on it, then reached out and broke the chocolate in half and gave her half.
They both put it in their mouths, and he said: I haven't eaten it for many years.
Bai Yiding said, this time I return to China...
Sasa interrupted him, "Don't be so detailed. Our focus today is to have a good meal."
A hint of surprise flashed in Bai Yiding's eyes, and he said that you used to ask me about every detail.
Sasa thought to herself, I am now Sister Niuhulu Sa, I have grown up, and this time I want to hold the kite string.
She knew that a sensitive and fragile man like Bai Yiding would become boring if the conversation became too down-to-earth.
Sasa said that since it was a reunion after all, she should talk about the years that had passed since she was apart.
-
After paying the bill, the two still didn't want to separate, so they took a taxi to go for a walk by Liangma Bridge. Bai Yiding was still talking about his past few years, and he mentioned that he had taken a racing license exam abroad, and that he had to get fifteen stitches on his forehead after being thrown out by a racing car.
He lowered his head to show her the scar on his head. He was too tall and had to squat.
Sasa reached out, touched his scar, and said, Xiaobai, now you are like a soft puppy.
Bai Yiding laughed heartily, and when he turned around, he found Sasa still looking at him. Sasa asked again, "Xiaobai, can I hug you? I haven't hugged you in twelve years."
Bai Yiding suddenly reached out and hugged Sasa, rested his chin on her head, and slowly stroked her hair with one palm.
The thick shell she once wanted to shed seemed finally to have been shed, but she was willing to let it grind into dust, returning to fascinate her eyes once the wind blew. Because the push and pull between men and women was inescapable.
But she no longer delved into these things. At the age of 30, she wanted to let herself go and no longer explore things on the deeper spiritual level. She did not expect to be fully revealed or to be loved intensely at the beginning. Everyone who comes is a guest, so just enjoy yourself.
Really, just enjoy it.
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
