2. Whose child is it?
Vacuuming, dusting, mopping, hanging clothes to dry... Even with the best planning and her quick hands and feet, more than two hours still passed by in the blink of an eye.
Finally, she brewed herself a cup of pre-Qingming Longjing tea, held the warm cup, and sat on the small sofa by the window. Outside, the lush greenery of April was deepening, and cherry blossoms were shyly blooming. The window was bright and the table was clean, the aroma of tea wafted through the air, and the tranquility of this moment felt so real. Yi Yi sighed contentedly, realizing that even after all that "struggling," she could now find genuine joy in these ordinary "little moments of happiness."
However, this joy is occasionally tinged with a faint sense of melancholy.
Years ago, Yi Yi, with zero background knowledge, managed to complete an all-English international accounting master's program, and then immediately joined the ranks of ACCA certification candidates. Years ago, she walked into the examination room with a seven or eight-month pregnant belly, just to secure a career for herself that would be "more sought after as she gets older." Later, she was indeed moved by that determination she had back then.
But the reality is that she always fell short of obtaining the ACCA certificate, leaving it as an unfulfilled goal hanging in her mind. The annual fees and registration fees she paid each year seemed to be a constant reminder of a certain sense of frustration.
After sending her two-and-a-half-year-old son Kai Kai to kindergarten, Yi Yi was working a job with half her salary while picking up her books again to re-enroll in the ACCA exam. Zhuang Jia said, "Your current job has absolutely nothing to do with this certificate. Even if you get this certificate, can you really get a good position? You don't have any practical experience at all."
Yi Yi was well aware of this. She had initially pursued that degree with the intention of a glamorous career transition. However, being over thirty, highly educated, with no experience, and a mismatch between her undergraduate and master's degrees… in the eyes of HR, this combination was almost synonymous with "restlessness." And then, she discovered she was pregnant.
I was both shocked and delighted. My previous child died at six months. After hearing his strong heartbeat and feeling his faint movements, I was filled with hope as I welcomed him, only to be suddenly told: he wasn't coming.
Heartbroken and in unbearable pain, Zhuang Jia burst into tears. The two embraced and wept bitterly in the hospital corridor. After a long while, they comforted each other, saying, "We're still young, we can have it again."
But what is lost is a permanent, hidden wound in one's heart.
...
Her previous job was dull and uninteresting, and the future she had been looking forward to seemed to be dragging on indefinitely. Caught in the middle, Yi felt a profound sense of powerlessness.
"Am I too useless?" she couldn't help but ask Zhuang Jia one night.
"How could you be useless?" Zhuang Jia put down his phone and put his arm around her shoulder. "You gave me such a beautiful and handsome son and managed the household so well. That's your greatest achievement."
This was meant to be comforting, but it felt like a fine needle piercing the most sensitive spot in Yi Yi's heart. "Is that all I'm good for?" she said, her voice lowering. "Besides, this child wasn't born to you alone; he's my own son."
She hated the notion that "she gave birth to your family's child." How could a life that came from her own womb become a "task" completed for someone else's family?
He Miao criticized Yi Yi on this issue: "You are too strong-willed and speak too harshly. Men and women are different species. Don't expect them to think the same way as us, and there is no need to insist on right and wrong."
"But the child is indeed mine; I gave birth to him for myself."
"Look, we're arguing again?" He Miao smiled gently. This seemingly soft woman had her own strength. "Half of a child's genes come from the man. If a man can't have children on his own, is it wrong for him to say that you gave birth to them for him? Is it meaningful to argue about right and wrong over such words?"
Perhaps it's meaningless. But the knot in Yi Yi's heart remains there.
More pressing issues followed. Kai Kai, who started kindergarten at two and a half years old, had an underdeveloped immune system and was frequently sick. After Yi Yi had taken several days off, she received another call from the teacher: "Kai Kai has a fever of 38.5 degrees Celsius."
She was extremely anxious, so she called Zhuang Jia first: "Can you spare some time this afternoon? Kai Kai has a fever again."
"I have a pretty important meeting this afternoon..." Zhuang Jia said in a slightly anxious tone.
"I've already taken four days off this month. If I take any more, even if they don't fire me, I won't have the face to stay here any longer," Yi Yi said anxiously. On one hand, there was her precious child, whom she considered her life's most precious treasure; on the other hand, there was the matter of her livelihood. Both ends were burning with anxiety.
There was a moment of silence on the other end of the phone. "...I'll try to postpone the meeting until tomorrow. I'll pick you up, you can go to work without worry."
"Thank you," Yi Yi blurted out, then paused for a moment. Since when did husbands need a formal "thank you" from their wives for fulfilling their responsibilities as fathers?
However, even after Zhuang Jia picked up the child, Yi Yi remained restless all afternoon. She sent a WeChat message every half hour: "Did you apply the fever-reducing patch?" "Did you take her temperature? What was it?" "Fever-reducing medication must be taken four hours apart, don't get it wrong." "Has the fever gone down a bit?" "Did you do any physical cooling methods?"
Half a day felt like half a century.
After work, she was the first to rush out of the office and hurry home. Kaikai was already jumping on the sofa; his little face was still a little red, but his spirits were obviously better. Zhuang Jia said, "Children don't fake illness. He was listless when I picked him up, but as soon as the fever went down, he started jumping around again. Don't worry too much."
Half of her anxiety subsided. But before bedtime, Kai Kai's temperature rose again. This time, Yi Yi wasn't worried. After more than two years of trial and error, she had learned some lessons: children's fevers tend to recur, and it usually takes two or three days for the fever to stabilize.
She barely slept that night. Every half hour, she wiped Kai Kai's body with warm water and gently coaxed him to drink it. Kai Kai was obedient, drinking it down with his eyes closed. In the early hours of the morning, his temperature finally began to drop without medication. As dawn approached, Kai Kai was back to his lively and energetic self.
Yi Yi, who hadn't slept all night, relied on coffee to keep going.
"Let's not send him to kindergarten today. He just recovered from his fever and is still weak. Going to kindergarten might cause a relapse," Zhuang Jia said. "How about we stay home and heal at home for the day?"
"But……"
Zhuang Jia looked at Yi Yi seriously and said, "Why don't you resign?!" Her tone was like a suggestion, but her eyes held an undeniable determination. "The child is still young and needs to be taken care of."
Yi Yi looked at him. Yes, the child needs care, and that responsibility will definitely fall on me. After all, my current salary is less than a third of yours, so there's no reason for you to quit your job to take care of the child. Neither of them said these words aloud.
Zhuang Jia said, "Anyway, your current job isn't what you like, so you might as well take advantage of being at home to recharge. Besides, I can support both of you, and I can support you quite well."
Yi Yi was a little displeased.
Zhuang Jia seemed to have figured it out as well, and said, "Men are in charge of external affairs and women are in charge of internal affairs. It's just a different division of labor. I'll support the family, and you'll raise the children and manage the household. We're partners."
From then on, Yi Yi returned to her role as a housewife. This time, she seemed much more at ease than before, and seemed more proactive in capturing those peaceful moments.
Just like now! The aroma of tea wafts through the air, and wisps of steam rise gently. The spring sunshine outside the window is just right.
Ding Xiaojuan's voice request suddenly broke the silence: "You two agreed to have lunch at my place, are you out yet?"
Ding Xiaojuan and He Miao met first, through pregnancy. Their schedules were similar, and they would often bump into each other during their evening walks in the neighborhood, eventually becoming familiar. Their due dates, being only a month apart, gave them endless topics to talk about. Haha was a month younger than Kaikai and Gungun, and after Haha was born, the three of them became an unbreakable "iron triangle."
Her husband, Gao Sheng, was stationed abroad year-round. After she became a partner at a law firm, she announced one day, "According to my life plan, I should have a child." So she flew to her husband's side during the Spring Festival holiday, stayed for a month, and returned "with the seed." When she described it this way, Yi Yi and He Miao laughed so hard they almost fell over: "You forced yourself on him!" Ding Xiaojuan nodded: "Absolutely, and it's the kind of thing where there's no turning back once the arrow is released."
After I got pregnant, my mother-in-law came to live with us.
It's often said that mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law are natural enemies. Surprisingly, the capable and assertive Ding Xiaojuan gets along with her mother-in-law like friends. On her birthday, Ding Xiaojuan received flowers from Gao Shengyuan, but complained, "What lousy flowers! They're all wilted. He didn't buy me anything expensive; he doesn't care about me at all." Her mother-in-law, however, retorted jealously, "You're lucky you even got flowers! Why are you being so picky? His mother has never received flowers before."
“That’s why I say sons are useless,” Ding Xiaojuan comforted her. “Tomorrow, your daughter-in-law will buy you a huge bouquet of flowers.” The next day, her mother-in-law indeed received her first bouquet of flowers in her life.
"Well, am I a good daughter-in-law?" Ding Xiaojuan asked her mother-in-law for praise.
The mother-in-law retorted, "That's all because I have a good son." While Ding Xiaojuan was jumping up and down in anger, her mother-in-law added, "Otherwise, where would a good daughter-in-law come from!"
The way the two of them interacted made Yi Yi and He Miao's eyes almost pop out.
“There’s something even more surprising,” Ding Xiaojuan said, keeping everyone in suspense, “my mother-in-law actually didn’t even finish elementary school.” How can they get along so well with such a large difference in education?
"You wouldn't believe it, would you?" Ding Xiaojuan said. "She has exceptionally high emotional intelligence and a strong sense of curiosity, unlike most people her age. She has a very open mindset, making her easy to get along with." Therefore, even though her husband wasn't around and she didn't hire a nanny, her hardworking and easy-going mother-in-law took care of everything. After giving birth, Ding Xiaojuan had no worries and continued to dedicate herself to her beloved career.
To thank her mother-in-law, Ding Xiaojuan always went out of her way to find fun places and activities to take her out. Whenever the three women got together, they were either having fun or planning their next trip.
Yi Yi picked up her teacup and took one last look at the vibrant spring scenery outside the window. Her complex emotions—about self-worth, unfinished certifications, and quitting her job for her child—were temporarily diluted by her friend's invitation and the cup of tea before her.
Life is like a river; beneath the calm surface, there are always undercurrents. But at least for now, she can choose to focus on the warmth before her. She replied with a voice message: "Heading out now. What are we eating today? I'm starving." Her tone was light, without a trace of gloom.
She put down her teacup, got up to change her clothes, and temporarily shut out the silent questions about "whose child it is" and "what her own value is" in the bright and clean room behind her.
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