84 Because of jealousy, because of unwillingness
That night, Liu Yuwei slept very restlessly, her consciousness repeatedly wandering between bizarre fragments and the edge of clear reality. In the morning, she arrived at the hospital with two panda eyes, and Yuyao was already standing in front of the window to stretch her muscles. She turned her head and saw her daughter's tired expression and the black eyes, and immediately persuaded her to go home and rest. Liu Yuwei naturally refused to leave, and stubbornly stayed aside. It was not until the doctor made rounds and announced that Yuyao's indicators had stabilized and she could be discharged after two more days of observation that she breathed a sigh of relief and said she was going to take care of some work matters. Today is the day of Tang Mei's trial. The two talked on the phone last night and agreed to contact each other as soon as there was a result. In a relatively quiet corner of the hospital, Liu Yuwei estimated the time when the trial would end and turned on her mobile phone. The dense text message inbox was still filled with strange numbers and obscene words. She selected all and deleted them. If she didn't see it, it meant it didn't happen. Then she slid her finger and clicked on Weibo again. Five minutes ago, Jin Lang's studio reposted an interview from People magazine with a straightforward yet eye-catching headline: "Dust-Lamp Past: True Story or Emotional Projection? — Jin Lang Opens Up About His Father-Son Relationship for the First Time." Was this a promotion for the film? Or a carefully planned effort to steer public opinion after the controversy? Liu Yuwei couldn't tell. Perhaps it was both. Although they had dated before, she knew very little about Jin Lang's father. She knew only that he ran a trucking company and, in his youth, was often away from home, often driving large loads. Jin Lang's relationship with his father was a classic East Asian example of silence and distance. She clicked on the link and read it carefully. Regarding the film, Jin Lang admitted to having selfish motives. He was captivated by the story the moment he first read the original script, and it touched upon a long-held secret. The subsequent questions naturally led to memories between Jin Lang and his father. From childhood, when he would compare heights with the enormous tires of a truck, to his first time following a truck during junior high summer vacation. He woke up, his father was driving; he fell asleep, and his father was still driving, with the endless highway stretching out the window. Later, his father started a trucking company, and although he no longer traveled long distances, he remained constantly busy. Having witnessed so many traffic accidents, his father was adamantly against Jin Lang learning to drive. This led to him missing out on a promising role during an audition because he didn't have a license. He never imagined his father, a lifelong driver who constantly told fleet drivers, "Safety first, people are more important than goods," would eventually die in a car accident. He also recounted how, since his father dropped out of high school, he had longed to attend his college graduation, a fate that ultimately never materialized. A similar plot point emerges in "The Past of the Dust Lamp," where Jin Lang reveals he pleaded with the screenwriter to change...
That night, Liu Yuwei slept very uneasily, his consciousness wandering repeatedly between bizarre fragments and the edge of clear reality.
When she arrived at the hospital early that morning, with dark circles under her eyes, Yuyao was already standing by the window stretching her muscles. Turning to see her daughter's tired demeanor and the dark circles under her eyes, she immediately urged her to go home and rest.
Liu Yuwei naturally refused to leave, stubbornly staying by the side. It wasn't until the doctor came in for rounds and announced that Yuyao's indicators were stable and he could be discharged after two more days of observation that she finally breathed a sigh of relief and said she was going to take care of some work.
Today is the day of Tang Mei's court hearing. The two spoke on the phone last night and agreed to contact each other as soon as there was a result.
In a relatively quiet corner of the hospital, Liu Yuwei estimated the time when the trial would end and turned on her cell phone.
The SMS inbox is still filled with unfamiliar numbers and obscene language. Select them all and delete them. If you don’t see them, it means they didn’t happen.
Then he swiped his finger and clicked on Weibo. Five minutes earlier, Jin Lang's studio had reposted an interview from People magazine with a straightforward and eye-catching title: "The Past of Chen Deng: True Story or Emotional Projection? — Jin Lang Reveals His Father-Son Relationship for the First Time."
Is this a publicity stunt for the film, or a carefully crafted effort to guide public opinion after the controversy?
Liu Yuwei couldn't tell the difference, maybe it was both.
Although they had dated before, she knew very little about Jin Lang's father. She only knew that he ran a freight company and that when he was young, he was often away from home, working on large shipments. The relationship between Jin Lang and his father was probably a typical East Asian father-son relationship of silence and alienation.
She clicked on the link and read it carefully.
Regarding this film, Jin Lang admitted to having selfish motives. He was drawn to the story when he first read the original script, and it touched upon a hidden secret within him. The subsequent questions naturally transitioned to memories between Jin Lang and his father.
From childhood, when he'd compare his height to the giant tires of a truck, to his first time following a truck during summer vacation in junior high, he'd wake up and his father would be driving. He'd fall asleep and his father would still be driving, with the endless highway stretching out the window. Later, his father opened a trucking company, and while he no longer made long trips, he was still incredibly busy.
Having witnessed too many traffic accidents, his father was adamantly against Jin Lang learning to drive, which led to him missing out on a good role during an audition because he didn't have a driver's license.
He never thought that his father, who had been driving for his entire life and always told the drivers in the fleet, "Safety first, people are more important than goods," would eventually die in a car accident.
He also talked about how his father dropped out of high school and how he had always looked forward to attending his college graduation, but unfortunately, it was never realized. There is a similar plot in "Dust and Lamp Past". Jin Lang revealed that he had begged the screenwriter to change the scene where his father was unable to attend the graduation ceremony for some reason, but in the end, the original design was retained for the sake of narrative consistency.
Liu Yuwei spent ten minutes reading it word for word. While the core of the article is closely tied to the film, it's the weighty and genuine emotional bond between Jin Lang and his late father that resonates so deeply. There's no forced sentimentality, only restrained reminiscence. Sincerity is always the key to moving hearts.
Within half an hour of posting, the article had already garnered over 10,000 comments and shares. With Father's Day approaching, touched fans began sharing their own unforgettable memories with their fathers. A series of new topics, including #JinlangChendengWangshi, #JinlangRememberingMyLateFather, and #Father'sDayWithoutAFather, became trending searches. The stigmatizing terms surrounding Liu Yuwei had long since vanished without a trace.
Jin Lang seemed to have made the right decision by taking this risk.
She logged out of Weibo, but her fingertips suddenly paused—since she'd opened her phone, not a single harassing call had interrupted her reading. The tide of online violence seemed to have been diverted elsewhere by that "Dust Lamp"...
Staring blankly at her phone, the screen suddenly lit up, revealing Tang Mei's name. Liu Yuwei quickly answered the call, pressing the receiver to her ear.
"Lawyer Liu, we're divorced! I'm free!" Tang Mei's voice was tearful yet powerful. "Thank you! Thank you so much!"
Although Liu Yuwei had expected this result, when he heard the exciting victory declaration with his own ears, a surge of hot heat suddenly exploded from his heart and instantly flowed to his limbs, making his fingertips slightly numb.
Because of her sensitivity, her initiative and her persistence, the bird with broken wings was able to flap its wings again with their help.
Liu Yuwei looked out the window and saw a long-tailed magpie shaking its feathers on the treetop.
"Tang Mei, the person you should thank most is yourself!"
...
She returned to the ward with brisk steps. Yu Yao saw a faint smile on her lips and the fatigue between her eyebrows had dissipated a lot.
"Is there good news?"
"Yes!" Liu Yuwei nodded heavily, his eyes sparkling, "I, the domestic violence victim, successfully filed for divorce!"
She sat back on the bench next to the bed, "Mom, how did it feel when you won your first case?"
Yuyao leaned on the pillow and thought for a moment.
"You won't forget it, will you?"
"How could that be? That was my first time representing a defendant. The case was tough, and the other party had prepared very thorough evidence. When the final verdict was announced, the judge said 'all plaintiff's claims are dismissed,' and I didn't catch a word of what he said after that."
"Too excited?"
"No, I was just too nervous... I couldn't believe I could win. After I finished writing the closing report at the office, I finally felt the excitement and was beaming all day."
"Then... have you ever been scolded by the client for losing the case?"
"It's normal to get scolded after losing a case. I once represented a company in a labor dispute. I won the case, but the plaintiff's family gathered several people and blocked the law firm downstairs. They pointed at me and called me an unscrupulous lawyer and a lackey of the capitalists!"
"So...how did you figure it out?"
"I felt really down at the time, but a senior lawyer at the law firm consoled me, saying lawyers are merely gatekeepers of the system and rights. In a world ruled by law, there are no absolute good or bad people, only legal and illegal."
“The gatekeeper of institutions and rights…”
Liu Yuwei repeated it in a low voice, the words carrying a heavy weight. Just as he was about to ask again, he was interrupted by a sudden ringing of the bell.
Having just hung up on Tang Mei and forgotten to turn on the flight mode, her first reaction was that she was being harassed. Frowning impatiently, she suddenly saw the name displayed on the screen: Song Miao. Giving Yu Yao a look, Liu Yuwei headed towards the corridor again.
"Yu Wei, I finally got through to you. I thought you had blocked me!"
Song Miao's voice seemed a little anxious.
"Sorry, there's been a lot of noise online these days, so I had to turn off my phone."
"Oh, I guess so!"
The other party seemed to be relieved, and his tone became serious.
"Yu Wei, I don't know who the person who whistleblower Jin Lang is online, and I don't even know him. I sent him a private message asking him to delete that nonsense Weibo post, but he has ignored it. I really have no choice but to repost it to clarify the facts. I wonder if you saw it?"
Liu Yuwei had hardly been online these two days. When she heard that Song Miao was willing to wade into this muddy water to defend her, she was surprised, but a complex warmth surged in her heart.
"Thank you, Song Miao!"
She thanked him sincerely.
A barely audible sigh came from the receiver, soft and gentle, but it struck Liu Yuwei's heart.
"Yu Wei, besides this, do you have anything else you want to say to me?"
Sure enough, what needs to be faced will have to be faced sooner or later, and some knots will eventually have to be untied.
Liu Yuwei took a deep breath and spoke clearly and honestly, "I'm sorry for involving you in our affairs this time."
"We?" The other party caught the word sharply.
"Yes, we, Jin Lang and I." Liu Yuwei was determined to unload the invisible boulder.
"There are some things I should have told you a long time ago. I dated Jin Lang briefly for a year during my senior year, and then we broke up when I went abroad for graduate studies. We met again by chance last year, and until he came back from Guizhou a while ago after an incident on his crew, we... got back together."
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. Time passed by minute by minute, so long that Liu Yuwei almost suspected that the call was disconnected. She moved the phone away from her ear and took a look. The call duration was still accumulating.
"Liu Yuwei," Song Miao finally spoke again, calling her by her full name, "When did you start liking Jin Lang?"
Now that he had decided to make things clear, Liu Yuwei didn't intend to hide anything anymore.
"It should be around the same time as you!"
This time the other party almost immediately questioned, "Then why didn't you tell me then?"
"What should I say?" Bitterness surged into my throat. "You are my good friend!"
"You're beautiful, cheerful, and popular, and I look like an ugly duckling next to you. I tell you I like him too, and then what? What's the point other than making both of us more embarrassed?"
"You didn't tell me, but after I left, you took advantage of the opportunity and sneaked in!"
"Song Miao, I didn't!" Faced with such accusations, Liu Yuwei was a little anxious. "Jin Lang and I hardly spoke during my senior year of high school. We only started dating in the fourth year after you went abroad."
"After you broke up, I got together with him again. Don't you mind?"
Song Miao's thoughts jumped, and he suddenly asked another question, as if testing something.
“People always have to look forward and move forward.”
"Actually, I only recently found out that he didn't have a good time in those few years. Fortunately, you were there with him."
"Song Miao, even though Jin Lang is with me now, I think you will always be irreplaceable to him."
After saying this, Liu Yuwei felt completely relieved, but unexpectedly heard a burst of rapid breathing. After a while, Song Miao gradually calmed down, but his voice was very sad.
"Liu Yuwei, do you know that I have always envied you?
"Envy me?" Every word was filled with disbelief.
"Yes, I envy you for being smart and having a good brain!"
"When I was in school, I'd always be doing the multiple-choice questions on a math test, and you'd already turned to the back. When we were memorizing historical events, I couldn't even remember the names, but you could blurt out the years and months. I always thought you were the smartest girl I knew!"
"It's just that I have a good memory!"
"You're so smart, why can't you see that I'm lying to you!"
The voice coming from the receiver suddenly rose, like thunder out of the blue, completely confusing Liu Yuwei.
"Lie to me?"
"Yes, after breaking up with Jin Lang in high school, we haven't had any contact since then."
"What do you mean...no intersection?"
"Are you stupid? We've never been reconciled!"
This subversive answer completely confused the minds of smart people.
"During the Chinese New Year, you said that you broke up because..."
Before he could finish his words, Song Miao interrupted him directly, "I told you I was lying to you. It's fake. Do you understand?"
"But... why?" Song Miao chuckled self-deprecatingly on the other end of the phone, "Because of jealousy, because of unwillingness."
Her tone dropped, with a hint of self-abandonment.
"You said I'm confident, yes, but overconfidence is arrogance. Before going to Singapore, I wrote a letter to Jin Lang, saying that it wouldn't be a formal breakup without my consent, and that I would return to China as soon as I graduated, and asked him to wait for me. I think I can do it, and he should be able to do it too."
"Later, I returned to Shanghai to look for him as agreed, but I didn't see him for several days. I was about to give up when I ran into him dragging a suitcase from school to the subway station."
"He didn't recognize me at all when he passed by me." Song Miao's tone was sad, and one could imagine his disappointment at that time.
"I stopped him and asked him where he was going. He said he was going to Germany to find a girlfriend."
"How could I give up so easily? So I started asking people about his girlfriend. Finally, a female high school classmate of Jin Lang told me that she had seen you two together."
"Do you know what I was thinking at the time? It was probably similar to what those netizens said about you... So I went to QQ and left you a message, but you ignored me completely."
QQ message...Liu Yuwei can still recite those sentences word for word.
Yu Wei, I'm back home!
Are you still in touch with Jin Lang? I want to get him back!
I heard from others that he has a girlfriend... But it doesn’t matter, after all, we have an emotional foundation, and it’s each other’s first love, don’t you think?
"When I saw you last year, I was still wondering if I had made a mistake. But before I even finished eating Japanese food, I got the answer... You two are so obvious..."
Song Miao sneered, "Such small movements that ignored others, subconsciously following with eyes, how could he be just an ordinary classmate! The resentment that had dissipated began to ferment again. Why... it's you! Why is it you!"
"So what you told me that night, that you came to Jingbei just for Jin Lang, was also... a lie?"
Liu Yuwei asked quietly.
"I did come here for this project. As for Jin Lang..." She suddenly paused and changed the subject.
"You know, at that party last month, he said in front of Teacher Wu and all the classmates that being with me in high school was just a playful thing!"
Song Miao sighed helplessly, "They say men can never forget Bai Yueguang, but why do men become so ruthless when it comes to me!"
"Then...why did you tell me today?"
"Because I don't want to owe you anything," she answered simply, "You stole my first love, and I lied to you. So... are we even?"
The ending tone rises, as if seeking confirmation.
When only the monotonous busy tone remained in the receiver, Liu Yuwei leaned against the wall and slowly lowered his arms.
The summer sun beat down on me, making my back sweat, but my heart felt blocked and stuffy. Although the troubling past had become clear, the confusion and surprise brought by the truth still slowly spread.
She didn't know whether to be happy for Song Miao's honesty or feel sorry for this friendship wrapped in lies.
Life is like a long flowing river. They once stood side by side on the shore, pushed forward by the turbulent tide of youth. However, because of a budding emotion and misplaced information, they set each other as imaginary "enemies".
Jealousy, unwillingness, temptation, those complex emotions that are magnified by imagination, when you peel off the layers of disguise, you will find nothing but the passionate heart of youth.
Song Miao's last words before hanging up the phone rang in my ears again, "Liu Yuwei, the ugly duckling is destined to grow into a white swan."
Perhaps, they have all become better versions of themselves under the polishing of time.
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