20 Spring Dreams
◎Song Qinggui, what have I meant by these past ten years?◎
It was still early when they left the Xue family's old house, but neither Xue Lu nor Song Qinggui showed any intention of going back to work.
The discussion of this property agreement didn't take long, but it consumed a lot of their energy, making it difficult for them to handle their work effectively.
When the two returned home, Song Qinggui was changing her shoes in the entryway, and Xue Lu was watching her intently.
His emotions were very complicated. It felt like a wildfire was burning in his chest, with small, intermittent flames that he couldn't extinguish, and the heat was making him feel uncomfortable.
She said today that if she and her child divorce in the future, she will have custody of the child.
So... she means that she's willing to have children with him.
But just as she stirred that flutter in his heart, she turned around and became intimate with Luo and others.
Luo et al.
Xue Lu knew at first glance that he was different from Cheng Wuliang and Yan Fengqian.
He knew Song Qinggui's ruthlessness all too well. He had seen the way she looked at Cheng Wuliang and Yan Fengqian; their status as lovers couldn't hide the coldness in her eyes. Her affection for them was always tinged with exploitation.
Unlike Luo, Song Qinggui looked at him with gentle eyes, without any impurities, only the joy of a long-awaited reunion and the familiarity of mutual understanding.
Upon realizing this, Xue Lu felt as if a thousand ants were crawling inside him. He hated Song Qinggui for ignoring him for the past ten years, he hated her for being so hard-hearted, and he hated her for being hypocritical...
He hated her; he hated that her affection for him was never based on lust, but on her unwillingness to reciprocate with the same sincerity, which made her feel guilty.
What he wanted was never guilt.
However, while he hated Song Qinggui for his scheming ways, he also hoped that Song Qinggui could still gain something from him.
As long as she has something in mind, he hasn't lost yet. He still has chips left on the table and a chance to conquer her and make her willingly fall in love with him.
However, the appearance of Luo and others dealt Xue Lu a heavy blow.
He could never truly understand Song Qinggui's past, while Luo Deng was someone from her past.
He will always lose to Luo Deng, losing to Song Qinggui's entire girlhood—the most primitive, most authentic, and unseen girlhood of hers.
When Xue Lu came out of the old house, he saw the two of them standing side by side, chatting and laughing.
Song Qinggui had never smiled at him like that before; her smile was pure and innocent, without any hostility or defensiveness.
Luo and others even tried to reach out and stroke Song Qinggui's head, even though he knew she was already married.
Xue Lu was unwilling... he was truly unwilling...
He felt like he was going crazy. He was a reckless gambler who would risk everything if the prize contained even a tiny bit of Song Qinggui's genuine affection.
But now, with the appearance of Luo and others, even his last glimmer of hope has become precarious.
Xue Lu suppressed the dull pain in his chest: "Song Qinggui, what did you and Luo say to each other at the entrance of the Xue family's old residence just now?"
The moment Xue Lu asked the question, he regretted it.
Only losers in relationships are so petty. The moment he asked that question, he had already lost the game.
Song Qinggui turned back to look at him with a blank expression, and was stunned. Why did Xue Lu have such an expression? His eyes were somewhat fierce, but his eye sockets were slightly red, his mouth was slightly downturned, and his jaw muscles were also somewhat clenched.
Is this... hatred?
Why?
Song Qinggui was confused, but after thinking about it for a moment, she understood.
So... does Xue Lu think that her relationship with Luo and others is not innocent?
Song Qinggui: "What do you mean?"
Xue Lu's eyes burned with even deeper hatred, but they also welled up with tears: "Don't tell me you can't tell he likes you."
"What's wrong with you?!"
Lawyer Xue: "Am I crazy? Don't you think you owe me an explanation?"
Song Qinggui laughed angrily: "Ha... I was naive. I thought we were friends now. I forgot that President Xue has always disliked me. In your eyes, I'm just a promiscuous woman who sleeps with anyone, right?"
"Song Qinggui, do you have any conscience?!" Xue Lu's eyes welled up with tears.
Song Qinggui's eyes also reddened, but her tone remained restrained. Her voice was soft, but her words were piercing, hurting both herself and Xue Lu: "Don't you hate me? Saying I'm a rich man's plaything, with an annual salary of 520,000, including what just happened, which of these isn't an insult to me?"
"Is this how you see me..." A look of pain flashed across Xue Lu's face. With what little reason he had left, he spoke slowly, even with a hint of pleading: "Song Qinggui, I am your husband. Is it too much to ask what my wife and another man were talking about in such an intimate way?"
However, Song Qinggui's expression turned cold again, just like every time they had known each other for ten years: "Luo Deng is my friend. You don't need to know about what's between him and me."
"Song Qinggui..." Xue Lu suppressed the pain in his chest and tried hard to control his emotions: "Fine, I won't ask you and Luo Deng. What did you mean by what you said at the Xue family's old residence?"
Song Qinggui: "I think I've made myself clear enough."
"I don't understand." Xue Lu's pupils trembled, and a desperate expectation seeped into his eyes amidst the pain: "Tell me, what does it mean about our future child...?"
Song Qinggui was taken aback when she heard this, but quickly smiled. She raised her eyebrows and looked at Xue Lu with a provocative look in her eyes: "Mr. Xue, you wouldn't want to have a child with a woman like me, would you?"
Song Qinggui tried her best to play the role of a wanton woman, but when she asked that question, her heart was still stirred.
Lawyer Xue, are you willing? Are you willing to have a child with me?
Xue Lu was blinded by his own involvement; he failed to see the other side of Song Qinggui's personality beneath his sharp exterior.
All he saw was a sentence he held dear being dismissed as a joke by her. This was a trampling of his dignity.
It wasn't her who was naive; it was him.
He actually believed that Song Qinggui was not indifferent to him, and he actually believed that as long as he worked hard, he would one day conquer her, win her over, and be loved by her.
When a man and a woman treat their relationship as a battlefield and insist on winning or losing, they often end up hurting each other.
Song Qinggui and Xue Lu both fell silent during this confrontation.
Song Qinggui walked into the bedroom without looking back, while Xue Lu leaned against the wall for a long time, looking dejected.
As the sky outside the window gradually darkened, Xue Lu did not turn on the light and walked back to his room in the darkness.
He was tired, so he quickly changed into his pajamas and fell into a deep sleep.
He slept restlessly that night, his dreams were too long.
In his dream, he returned to university, to the Lancheng Inter-University Basketball League, where he won the championship trophy. His teammates surrounded him in celebration. He searched everywhere for Song Qinggui, only to see Cheng Wuliang holding her in his arms.
He threw the trophy to someone else and wandered around the campus, looking dejected.
A light rain began to fall, and fog rolled in through the sycamore grove on campus.
He didn't want to go back to his dormitory and just stood there blankly in the woods. Suddenly, a pair of hands gently hugged him from behind.
He was about to dodge when a familiar voice came from behind him: "Fool, how could I be with Cheng Wuliang? I love you..."
A pang of sadness welled up in his eyes. He wanted to turn back and look at her, but the world spun around him, and the gloomy, drizzling sky suddenly transformed into the ceiling of the restaurant's private room.
Zhuang Xiaomeng smiled and said, "Song Qinggui, will you choose truth or dare?"
"A great adventure," Song Qinggui replied.
"Then...you choose someone of the opposite sex and have a passionate three-minute kiss!"
When Zhuang Xiaomeng made this suggestion, a chorus of cheers and jeers rose from the crowd.
Xue Lu sat in the corner and saw Cheng Wuliang's expectant eyes.
But the next moment, Song Qinggui got up and walked towards him. Under his astonished gaze, she slowly leaned down and kissed his lips.
His heart felt like it was going to burst out of his chest, but he couldn't wait to pull her into his arms.
Song Qinggui… he thought to himself, kiss me hard, this is what you owe me, what you owe me…
But the person in her arms gradually turned into air and drifted away heartlessly.
He wanted to stand up and follow her, but the moment he opened his eyes, he found himself lying on a bed in the Cangcheng Hotel.
The room smelled damp, and the summer heat was gradually settling in; he felt hot all over.
He looked down and saw Song Qinggui lying in his arms.
His hand encircled her smooth back, and only when he realized the slipperiness of his palm did Xue Lu suddenly realize that he and Song Qinggui were completely naked, nestled intimately against each other.
Blood and qi surged from his dantian to his limbs and bones in an instant. Xue Lu felt as if he had been struck by a soft electric current. It was not fatal, but it caused a tingling sensation throughout his body that made him lose his mind.
Xue Lu felt like he was going to die, but the next second, Song Qinggui seemed to sense his panic and gently stroked his body with both hands—his chest, his waist and abdomen, and then…
“The rules of conduct…” he called her name with a hint of chanting.
Song Qinggui stopped what she was doing, tenderly nestled against his chest, and gazed at him intently, as if he were the only person she could see in the world.
"Law Xue, I am yours, yours alone."
Xue Lu could no longer control himself, pulling Song Qinggui tightly into his arms, kissing her passionately and taking her as his own...
Xue Lu indulged himself in his dream, but a dream is still just a dream.
When he woke up the next day, all he felt was emptiness, and... the stickiness and dampness on his body.
Xue Lu took a deep breath and closed his eyes, forcing himself to calm down. But the images of yesterday's dream kept replaying in his mind.
Song Qinggui, what have I meant by these ten years... what have I meant...?
When Xue Lu composed himself and got up, Song Qinggui had already gone to the hospital.
He opened his phone; her WeChat profile picture lay there quietly, without any red dots. There were four missed calls, none of them from her number.
Xue Lu took a bottle of mineral water from the refrigerator and drank it all in one gulp. Then he brushed his teeth, washed his face, and changed into his clothes for going out.
Today, Meng Yuxing and Feng Zhe came to Lancheng, and he finally had to go and see them.
Before leaving, he tore off the bed sheet that he had soiled, rolled it into a large ball, and stuffed it into a garbage bag.
Before closing the door, he couldn't help but glance at Song Qinggui's bedroom, even though the door was open and the room was empty.
...
Xue Lu and Song Qinggui began a long cold war.
The two tacitly switched to workaholic mode. Xue Lu stayed at the headquarters of Jingtian Group, while Song Qinggui set up a folding bed in the medical department office.
In this chilly atmosphere, the height of summer quietly slipped away, taking with it the brief cool autumn of Lancheng, and the coastal city finally ushered in a long, harsh winter.
That day, after finishing all the summary reports for Q3, Attorney Xue sat in his executive chair, squinting as he rested.
Assistant Chen An knocked on the door and came in: "Boss, this is the invitation to this year's Lancheng Youth Leaders Banquet."
"Unimportant occasions," Xue Lu said without even opening his eyes, "I'm not going."
Chen An nodded. As he expected, Xue Lu had never liked attending such banquets before, but he still said in the spirit of his duty as assistant: "This year's list has changed a lot, with many new faces and representatives from many fields. For example, the recently popular literary newcomer, the new winner of the Brilliant Literature Award, the CEO of the newly listed Fengchi Motors, and a partner representative from Dadao Law Firm."
Upon hearing this, Xue Lu opened his eyes: "Who is the representative of the Great Dao Partners attending the banquet?"
Chen An opened the invitation, glanced at the list of attendees, and confirmed: "Luo et al."
Xue Lu: "When is the banquet?"
Chen An: "Six o'clock the day after tomorrow."
Lawyer Xue: "Are there any important plans for the day after tomorrow?"
Chen An: "Not for now."
Xue Lu lowered his eyes slightly: "I understand."
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