Chapter 56 Unable to Obtain, Unable to Obtain…
The gallery is neither too far nor too close to the restaurant, less than half an hour's drive away.
When they arrived, the restaurant wasn't yet in peak season. There were quite a few empty seats by the window, but they had all been reserved in advance. The two of them ended up sitting at a table slightly towards the center.
Although Jiang Nuanyu chose the restaurant, she was never very good at ordering food, so she passed the task on to Liang Qi.
However, she recommended a dish of foie gras, saying that the pan-fried foie gras at this restaurant was the best she had ever had.
After Liang Qi ordered the food, the waiter poured wine into the glasses in front of the two men.
The restaurant is generally dark, with no public lighting; the only light source comes from the pendant lights above each table, illuminating the area below.
The surroundings were dark, and each table seemed like an isolated little world floating in the black corridor.
While waiting for the food to be served, the atmosphere became much quieter compared to when they were in the car. This was especially true for Jiang Nuanyu.
It wasn't that she had nothing to say to Liang Qi; it's just that the desire to confide and express oneself is ultimately a form of impulse. And impulse is an art of the moment, which will eventually be suppressed by reason.
She really wanted to ask Liang Qi why he came to Paris, but when she thought of Julie, she felt that she didn't necessarily need to know the answer to that question.
Liang Qi looked at her quietly, pondered her expression for a moment, lowered his eyes briefly, and said, "You've been in Paris for four months now, haven't you?"
Jiang Nuanyu was slightly taken aback.
Four months.
The number "four" abruptly brings to mind her irrational drunken ramblings the night before she left, and that night that clearly happened but remained unconfirmed.
Her departure without saying goodbye was thus brought to the forefront.
She raised her eyelids slightly, but didn't dare look into his eyes, and softly replied, "Mm."
Liang Qi asked, "Since you came here, have you not returned to China?"
She shook her head and answered quickly, "No."
She didn't look at him when he answered two consecutive questions about the capital, adopting an evasive attitude.
Liang Qi looked at her for a while, nodded, and didn't ask any more questions.
The waiter brought out the appetizers, breaking the delicate stalemate at the opportune moment.
The two appetizers were: one was thinly sliced scallop meat rolled into small rolls and drizzled with a refreshing citrus sauce; the other was pan-fried foie gras, recommended by Jiang Nuanyu.
Jiang Nuanyu forked a piece of scallop meat, but didn't eat it immediately. She glanced at Liang Qi's foie gras with a furtive look, and then looked up at Liang Qi again.
Liang Qi picked up his cutlery, looked up and met her gaze, and immediately saw through the thought in her eyes.
He took a small piece of foie gras with his fork, put it in his mouth, let it melt in his mouth, swallowed it, and said, "It's really good."
Hearing his evaluation, Jiang Nuanyu smiled, her eyes crinkling and her lips pursed.
Receiving recognition for Amway is a satisfying thing.
She then ate a piece of her foie gras and thought it tasted even better than the last time she came.
After eating for a while, Jiang Nuanyu wanted to have a sip of wine to moisten her mouth. She had just put down her fork when Liang Qi, probably having the same thought, reached out his hand almost at the same moment.
The two paused, exchanged a glance, and then raised their glasses, gently clinking them together in the air.
No one spoke, but in the exchange of glances, there was a tacit understanding between them.
Soft light shone on the pure white, finely textured tablecloth and into each other's eyes, where the black and white pupils seemed to shimmer with a faint glow.
Jiang Nuanyu took a sip of wine and felt that this moment was too beautiful to be real.
After the second round of dishes was served, Liang Qi suddenly asked, "Did you change your number?"
Jiang Nuanyu looked up from the duck breast and beef that had just been placed in front of her, stopped what she was doing, and shook her head blankly: "No."
After arriving in Paris, she got a local SIM card. Combined with her original Chinese SIM card, the two cards and one phone were just enough; she hadn't abandoned her previous number. But Liang Qi's question made a near-zero possibility flash through her mind.
But soon, Liang Qi dissuaded her from that idea.
"It's nothing," he said, glancing at her expression. "Just checking to see if that number can still reach you."
“…Oh.” Jiang Nuanyu responded softly, her expression a mix of disappointment and happiness, perhaps both.
He hasn't contacted her in the past few months;
But does his asking this mean that he wants to contact her later?
Jiang Nuanyu frowned as she pondered to herself—how could his single sentence stir up her relatively calm heart?
Allow yourself to look forward to the future; if those expectations are not met, no one can take your place in that pain.
But ultimately, the mouth is not as honest as the body, and the mind is more prone to lying than the mouth.
She tried to comfort herself with this thought, but the more she tried to understand why he was in Paris, the more curious she became. After a moment of silence and a few seconds of hesitation, she finally couldn't help but ask, "You..."
She had barely opened her mouth when Liang Qi looked up at her. Perhaps it was because of that glance, but she only uttered one word before falling silent.
Liang Qi didn't press further, guessing at the question she hadn't asked, and said, "I'm here on a business trip."
Jiang Nuanyu looked up, blinked, and her eyes shone with a hint of anticipation.
Then Liang Qi said, "YunJing recently completed upgrades to several projects in Europe. I came to take a look."
Jiang Nuanyu was still staring at him when she realized he had finished speaking.
...That's it?
"Oh." She nodded in response, then gave a polite "hmm" before bending down to cut the beef on her plate.
Liang Qi was also cutting meat, but his gaze fell on Jiang Nuanyu's plate across from him: a portion of the beef there had been cut off, and the larger piece seemed to be safe for the time being. Unfortunately, the smaller piece seemed to be targeted, being cut and recut by the cold knife and fork.
She responded to his answer with either "oh" or "um," seemingly dissatisfied, but her tone didn't suggest she was genuinely being passive or perfunctory.
He glanced at her for a moment, then looked away and said, "That gallery belongs to Julie."
Sure enough, Jiang Nuanyu became clearly interested in what he said, and her movements as she cut the meat slowed down.
But Liang Qi didn't say anything more for a long time, and just continued to eat the meat on his plate.
She looked up, and Liang Qi also lifted his eyelids to look at her, taking in her expression. He then put down his knife and fork, moved the freshly cut duck breast in front of her, and took her untouched piece.
Jiang Nuanyu was flattered and instinctively wanted to thank him, but she couldn't accept his kindness as a matter of course. She wanted to say that she could do it herself, but she was afraid of seeming presumptuous.
In her panic, she stammered, a few syllables stuck in her throat: "Thank you, I—I..."
"Do you remember Tianqi and Conti's collaboration?" Liang Qi asked, bringing her to a close.
Jiang Nuanyu was stunned.
Before she could answer, Liang Qi continued, "The agency rights for the resort and the art center in the collaborative project are partly under Julie's name. This agency is shared with the gallery."
Jiang Nuanyu listened, seemingly understanding but not quite, and remained silent.
“The painters exhibiting today are Zhu Lixin’s newly signed agents. Their works are first on display at the gallery and will later be moved to the resort,” Liang Qi said. “The exhibition just opened these past two days, and I happened to be in Paris, so I went to take a look.”
Jiang Nuanyu seemed to understand a little better now; Liang Qi seemed to be explaining why he was at Julie's gallery.
But why did he have to explain this to her? She hadn't even asked anything yet.
She looked down at the plate in front of her. Next to the neatly arranged duck breasts, part of the beef had been unintentionally broken into pieces, making it a rather pitiful sight.
Jiang Nuanyu: "..."
Did he see her venting her anger with beef?
Caught red-handed, she was so embarrassed she felt like her face was about to fall off. She licked her lips, which felt a little dry, and reached for her wine glass, but hadn't put down her fork yet.
With a "clang," the fork handle struck the glass, producing a melodious and slow echo.
She quickly glanced at Liang Qi, only to see him just turning his gaze away from the direction of her hand.
Perhaps because he was considerate, gentlemanly, and polite enough, and didn't want her to feel embarrassed, he didn't say a word, and his expression didn't change at all, showing no sign of watching the joke.
But it was precisely because of this that she felt even more embarrassed.
she:"……"
She put down her fork, picked up her wine glass, and tilted her head back to drink. She gulped down three large mouthfuls, and only with the last sip did the wine have a chance to linger in her mouth a little longer before being swallowed.
The smell of alcohol spread from her throat, filling her nostrils and making her eyes burn. Fortunately, this red wine was quite strong, which explained the heat on her face.
Under the influence of alcohol, her blood was rushing to her ears, but the unease seemed to have dissipated somewhat.
She picked up the fork again, speared a piece of duck breast, and put it in her mouth.
Liang Qi then glanced at her again. She was chewing slowly and carefully, as if trying to taste something very different.
She didn't comment on his later explanation, but she seemed satisfied this time.
Just as she was about to swallow the duck breast in her mouth, he asked, "Did you go to see someone's paintings today?"
Jiang Nuanyu relaxed considerably upon hearing this. She looked up, licked the sauce from the corner of her mouth, and said, "Not really. I went to a brand collaboration event this morning, and after it ended, I wandered around the area. I thought the gallery looked pretty, so I went in to take a look."
Liang Qi nodded knowingly and asked half-jokingly, "Does this count as overtime?"
Jiang Nuanyu raised her eyebrows: "You mean the brand's event?"
He nodded.
"I don't think so." Jiang Nuanyu thought seriously for a few seconds, then smiled gently. "Because I don't have to go."
She seemed genuinely content with this relatively free state of mind; as she smiled, she unconsciously squinted her eyes, like a kitten whose fur had been stroked. Seeing her smile, Liang Qi's lips also curved into a slight smile.
When the topic of overtime came up, he suddenly remembered that she had mentioned the restaurant was near her company, and he asked, "What's the name of the magazine you work for?"
“Chaleur,” Jiang Nuanyu replied.
Liang Qi narrowed his eyes slightly and said, "The editor-in-chief is bald?"
"Yes!" Jiang Nuanyu's eyes lit up in surprise. "You know him?"
"We've had business collaborations," Liang Qi did not deny.
“Oh…” Jiang Nuanyu digested the information and slowly said, “So, Florian isn’t the only magazine you’ve collaborated with.”
That's true. The publishing group behind *Chaleur* does indeed have a long-standing friendly partnership with Yunjing Europe. But speaking of *Florian*, Liang Qi is reminded of his pointless "goodwill" actions some time ago.
She didn't mean anything by those words, but perhaps due to some underlying psychological influence, Liang Qi felt there was something else in her tone.
He didn't intend to elaborate on the topic, but still simply explained, "They're not quite the same."
"Oh." Jiang Nuanyu nodded, glanced at him, and didn't ask any more questions. She always knew her limits. Although "Chaleur" was somewhat related to her, she would never pry into things unless they were completely unrelated.
She lowered her head and continued eating. For some reason, her appetite seemed exceptionally good today, and she finished all the meat and vegetables on her plate.
Even that "piece" of broken beef was eventually mixed with pesto and spread on the bread that Liang Qi had specially ordered and eaten, so that it "died in a worthy place".
The meal lasted quite a while. Apart from the initial awkwardness caused by Liang Qi's attempt to bring up the night she got drunk, the atmosphere afterwards was actually quite warm and harmonious.
After paying the bill, Liang Qi contacted the driver beforehand. As they walked towards the restaurant entrance, he watched their footing and asked, "Where do you live?"
"District 16".
"Good."
Jiang Nuanyu turned her head to look at him, wondering what was so good about his "It's fine." Or was it just a casual response? She didn't know.
She actually wanted to ask him where he would stay in Paris, but after hesitating, she ultimately chose not to ask.
After getting in the car, the two remained silent for a while.
It was nearly 10 p.m. when the sun finally set. Outside the car window, the gray-blue sky seemed to have draped the city in a tarpaulin. The sky was dark, but not pitch black.
Inside the car, no one tried to fill the silence, letting it linger in the air.
Even so, as the car drove past the subway station she frequented, Jiang Nuanyu still felt that time had passed too quickly.
The journey, which took just over ten minutes, was so fast that it was over before you even had time to think about it.
Just before the car came to a stop, she asked, "When are you leaving Paris?"
"tomorrow."
Wow, that was fast.
Holding onto the hope that he might stay in Europe for the time being, she asked again, "...Are you going back to China?"
Liang Qi replied, "Yes."
Jiang Nuanyu's heart was swept away like a whirlwind, and that faint hope was shattered into pieces, leaving nothing behind.
Even before they parted, she felt as if she were already drowning in an overwhelming loneliness.
The feeling at this moment was stronger than any other day or any other second she had spent alone in Paris for the past few months.
For the first time, she felt afraid and resistant to going home alone. In this country, in this city, in that apartment, she was all alone.
She didn't want to be alone.
Perhaps because of this, after the car stopped, Liang Qi offered to take her downstairs, and she didn't refuse.
The car was parked on the side of the road. The driver stayed in the car, and Liang Qi got out of the car with her and walked her home.
As they approached, Jiang Nuanyu pointed to the windows of her apartment and said, "That's the one."
Liang Qi looked in the direction she pointed and confirmed, "The second floor?"
"Yes, white curtains."
Liang Qi nodded, her gaze sweeping over the windows. Several floor-to-ceiling windows had white mesh frames, and two of the curtains were open, revealing glimpses of furniture near the windows. These were traces of her life in Paris.
Jiang Nuanyu glanced at his expression, eagerly anticipating what he would ask her.
Ask her anything: her apartment, her windows, her curtains, her workplace, who's around her, what she does, her daily commute, her diet, her life.
She longed to tell him everything she had experienced in this city, and she wanted to connect "Jiang Nuanyu in Paris" and "Liang Qi" through these conversations.
But he didn't ask anything, so she didn't say anything either.
The entrance to the apartment building was surrounded by a hedge, creating an open space. The two people stood in front of the building.
Jiang Nuanyu lowered her head, hesitating several times before finally deciding not to say anything at all.
I had only one thought in my mind—time flies so fast, I wish it could just stop right now.
Seeing that she was silent, Liang Qi didn't rush to leave and quietly stood with her for a while.
The sky was a hazy gray-blue, and the streetlights shone softly, casting a warm yellow glow overhead. A gentle evening breeze blew, brushing against his collar and ruffling the hair by her ear.
A strand of hair behind Jiang Nuanyu's ear was blown out by the wind, blowing across her face, sometimes brushing against her eyelashes, sometimes touching her lips, but she didn't care.
Liang Qi glanced at her, then turned around to shield her from the wind.
Her hair fell down, and she looked up.
When their eyes met, he gave her a slight smile, as if to reassure her.
Her eyes reddened at that moment.
Liang Qi said, "Go on up. Get some rest."
Jiang Nuanyu pursed her lips, looked at him, and remained silent.
She didn't want to hear him say those things; that's not what she wanted to hear.
He would stand quietly with her at the door, and smile at her before saying goodbye. He knew perfectly well that she was reluctant to leave; how could he just leave like that?
But she was the one who left first among them.
She had given up the possibility of him loving her, so how could she repeatedly and righteously demand that she be qualified to get close to him?
This chance reunion tonight, this night with him by her side, feels like a dream world. Like many dreams of the past, after experiencing beauty, we should eventually wake up.
Dreams are beautiful, but they are also destined to be illusory, fleeting, and shattered.
How could she possibly covet it? How dare she covet it?
Love, regret, pain, shame, guilt, and self-blame are all intertwined, and my heart is being torn apart.
Jiang Nuanyu gasped for breath in pain, her eyebrows twitching in agony.
She thought she must be crazy to still want to keep him after she had fully realized all of this.
She didn't want him to leave. She still wanted him.
Whether in the capital or Paris, in a dream or in waking life, it was the same. She still wanted him.
Liang Qi raised his hand, stroked down the back of her head, and gently squeezed the back of her neck.
He didn't speak, and Jiang Nuanyu knew he was waiting for her.
He was waiting for her to turn around first, leave first, and make the first decision.
He has always been that kind of person, seemingly always respecting her and always giving her choices.
But it was precisely this leeway of gentleness that made her seem increasingly cowardly and shameful, even when she tried to escape.
"Liang Qi," she called out to him.
Before she could continue, he replied, "Mm."
She lowered her head deeply, like a defeated general begging for a pardon from his leader, or a surrendered soldier yielding to an enemy general, and said in a trembling voice, "Could you... go first?"
Liang Qi slowly stopped stroking the back of her neck. Looking at her drooping hair, he remained silent for a few seconds before saying, "Okay."
Jiang Nuanyu pursed her lips tightly, blinked repeatedly to hide the tears welling up in her eyes, nodded repeatedly, and finally managed to squeeze out a soft "Mmm" from her throat.
Then, she parted her lips, took a breath, and said to him, "Okay."
It was as if she had unilaterally reached some kind of ritual with him. This separation was no longer her doing alone, but a choice made jointly by him and her.
Liang Qi didn't say anything more. After putting his hand down, he took a long time, then turned around and left in the direction he had brought her back.
Before his figure completely disappeared from sight, Jiang Nuanyu suddenly closed her eyes.
At that moment, it was almost dizzying.
She clenched her fists tightly, her nails digging into the skin of her palms. The pain clung to the last shred of reason, preventing her from chasing after him.
*
Liang Qi returned to his car and asked the driver to take him back to his residence.
On my phone, a few minutes ago, Peng Ze sent me information about a rebooked flight back to China tomorrow. Peng Ze also said that he would be taking off back to China as originally planned.
Liang Qi glanced at it, turned off the screen, leaned back in his seat, and tried to close his eyes to rest. After a while, however, he frowned in annoyance.
He opened his eyes and glanced out the window. The Parisian streetscape was rapidly receding, and her neighborhood was already far away.
Seeing her again after many days, she seemed the same as before—genuine and earnest. But upon closer reflection, something was different. She was more talkative, but also more withdrawn. She seemed to know better how to escape than before.
She could run away, but running away is never a good thing.
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