Chapter 63 Giving Yourself, in Exchange...
Jiang Nuanyu gradually found the answer to why she felt vaguely anxious the day before her vacation ended.
Ultimately, anxiety stems from uncertainty about the future and resistance to things beyond our control.
For Jiang Nuanyu, her uncertainty stemmed from the unknown regarding the group's chosen topic and her own upcoming work arrangements. These were aspects she needed to be confident about in her work.
However, as her work rhythm returned to normal, by lunchtime, the anxiety she had felt earlier had disappeared.
In order to maintain creative consistency, Lino ultimately handed over the writing work to Jiang Nuanyu for the feature that Zhu Er took over.
After lunch, Jiang Nuanyu and Zhu Er chatted briefly on the sofa in the rest area.
Outside the floor-to-ceiling windows, the Parisian sun shines brightly. The Eiffel Tower in the distance is set against a backdrop of blue sky and white clouds—it's a beautiful day.
"The final cut completely met and even exceeded my original expectations," Jiang Nuanyu said frankly. This was both a polite remark and a genuine statement. "If I had done it myself, I'm not sure I could have achieved such results."
Zhu Er smiled easily: "Hearing you say that makes me feel much more at ease. Creativity is your forte, and I'm very happy to be able to work with you on this project."
Jiang Nuanyu said, "Me too. It's a pleasure working with you."
"It's been a pleasure working with you. To be honest, I've been putting off writing for quite a few days, feeling completely lost." Jules smiled and shook his head, looking at her. "Luckily, you've returned in time."
Jiang Nuanyu said modestly, "During my vacation, everyone helped me coordinate and handle a lot of work. I am very grateful."
Looking at her healthy complexion, Jules said with relief, "You look much better, that's good."
Jiang Nuanyu smiled and said, "Thank you."
Suddenly remembering something, Jules casually remarked, "By the way, I'd heard before that the capital behind Valbrash was Chinese, but I never imagined it was your friend. No wonder."
Jiang Nuanyu paused for a moment, then said somewhat awkwardly, "I had worked with them before when I was working in China."
“Oh, really? When they heard you were hospitalized, they immediately contacted me to confirm your condition,” Jules said. “I thought you two had a personal relationship.”
Although she wasn't sure if Zhu Er was referring to Liang Qi himself, Jiang Nuanyu instinctively wanted to keep her distance from him at work, remembering Liang Qi's words, "I know you better than you."
At least for now, with their relationship status still undecided, Jiang Nuanyu doesn't want Liang Qi to gain the upper hand in their relationship by helping her with her career.
After a slight hesitation, she lied to Jules: "We don't really have a personal relationship, we can't really call each other friends."
Zhu Er seemed to understand something. "Hmm... so that's all there is to it." Zhu Er raised her eyebrows with a half-smile and said, "Then the other party is truly a loyal and trustworthy partner."
Jiang Nuanyu lowered her eyes and smiled, not continuing the topic.
After talking with Zhu Er, Jiang Nuanyu ran into Mariana in the corridor.
If it were Florian, the latter would definitely be considered a leader at the editor-in-chief level, or even higher.
Faced with such an industry veteran, Jiang Nuanyu couldn't help but be cautious. She stopped first, smiled and nodded slightly at the other person.
Like her other colleagues, Mariana first inquired about Jiang Nuanyu's health and expressed her relief at her return to work.
"Thank you for your concern," Jiang Nuanyu replied politely.
“Your project with Mark has done very well,” Mariana said. “There has been a lot of positive feedback in the industry, and it has reached a wide audience.”
Jiang Nuanyu listened attentively and nodded gently. During her vacation, she had specifically checked the feedback on this issue online. Many people appreciated the designer's work, which at least indicated that the feature itself was a success.
However, with Jiang Nuanyu in charge of her part, everyone is aware that a designer's creativity is not isolated but rather the result of cultural exchange, integration, and re-creation.
Mariana said, "At the time, I thought your idea of working together on this project was ingenious and clever. It didn't cut out the designers' work, and it balanced the content through cultural research."
Jiang Nuanyu felt genuinely satisfied to receive such specific affirmation: "Thank you for your recognition. I'm very happy to see so much discussion on this topic."
Marianna nodded: "Yes, you did a good job."
Jiang Nuanyu smiled, her eyes crinkling. It was a rare opportunity to have a direct working conversation with a senior leader. After a brief moment of consideration, she took the initiative to say, "Through working on this project, I feel that cross-cultural themes are receiving increasing attention, and cultural integration in the fashion industry is perhaps a topic that will never go out of style."
She paused briefly and suggested, "If similar topics arise in the future, I think we could expand on them further, or invite industry experts for in-depth interviews to make the discussion more thorough."
“That’s exactly what I was trying to say.” Mariana raised an approving eyebrow and said, “With this experience, the magazine can be more open about similar issues in the future, and there will be more freedom in the content. You did make a very bold choice, but opportunities arise from challenges, don’t they?”
"That's right." Jiang Nuanyu pressed her advantage, quickly adding flattering words, "Thank you for your encouragement. Your feedback has given me a very clear direction for my future work. Thank you."
Mariana gave Jiang Nuanyu a meaningful look and said, "I appreciate editors who are thoughtful and creative. I hope you can maintain this keenness and participate in more important special projects in the future."
Jiang Nuanyu was both surprised and delighted: "I'm very willing." She nodded earnestly and gratefully, "I also look forward to working with the team to discover more valuable content."
Mariana smiled, exchanged a few more pleasantries and wished her good health, and then left.
Jiang Nuanyu turned and walked towards her workstation. On the way, she felt as if her heart had finally settled down, yet it also felt like it was about to float away.
She didn't expect her first day back from vacation to go so smoothly, or even be so full of hope!
Although Mariana did not specifically emphasize any particular culture in her proposal to her, she already had a preference in mind.
Many commentators have pointed out that traditional Chinese cultural elements are highly malleable and can become a source of creative inspiration with just a little understanding.
Some overseas readers who previously had difficulty accessing these cultural elements due to language barriers have begun to see, understand, and even appreciate them for the first time through this special feature.
Jiang Nuanyu is not an overly idealistic person, but if this matter can help her personal career growth, bring value to the magazine she works for, and allow more people to pay attention to the culture she loves, then why not do it?
If something is not only meaningful but also feasible, it is naturally worth investing more effort in.
*
Over the next period of time, Jiang Nuanyu felt that she was becoming more and more adept at her work.
Although she was forced to put her career on hold due to illness, during her leave, she seemed to have accumulated a new energy. When she returned to work, she not only didn't become rusty, but was actually more efficient and sharper than before.
In her daily life, she goes to the supermarket every week to buy a batch of semi-finished ingredients. When she gets home from work and is hungry, she just puts together a meal—simple, quick, and effortless. Taste is no longer her biggest concern; as long as it's nutritionally balanced and fills her stomach, that's enough.
Occasionally, she would deliberately create a sense of ritual around meals to make the perfunctory feeling of the simple meal less obvious.
As for her relationship with Liang Qi, Jiang Nuanyu felt that she had crossed a certain line, but was always hovering in the gray area.
Just as Liang Qi said, he traveled to Europe more and more often on business trips, but most of the time he had to travel back and forth between several European countries and could not stay in one place.
His comings and goings were elusive to her, yet seemed to follow a certain pattern.
Liang Qi would come to Paris every few days, at most once a week. If he had a longer stay, he would stay for a day or two; if he was in a hurry, he would only stay for one day.
Every time they met, Liang Qi would pick Jiang Nuanyu up from her home or company to have dinner together, and then safely escort her downstairs afterward.
Apart from that, they did not do anything beyond their relationship.
Jiang Nuanyu knew that Liang Qi had work matters in Paris, but sometimes he would arrive in the evening and leave at night, and his trip to Paris was just to have dinner with her.
Even so, she didn't dare ask if he came to Paris for her.
Liang Qi never brought up his other trips in Paris, tacitly allowing and maintaining this ambiguous situation.
One day in mid-August, the two had dinner at a French restaurant.
Jiang Nuanyu chose this restaurant; it wasn't far from the magazine office. One of the interns in her group had recommended it to her many times, and she had wanted to go several times before, but had been delayed for various reasons. That day, she suggested to Liang Qi that they eat here, and Liang Qi naturally had no objections.
Although Jiang Nuanyu couldn't define her ambiguous relationship with Liang Qi, contrary to her initial expectations, she didn't seem to object to their way of getting along.
Perhaps it was because she was in a foreign country that she cherished the opportunity to talk about life in Paris in her native language. Although every day here was fulfilling, she always felt that there was an emptiness in her heart.
Liang Qi's presence seemed to fill that void.
She even began to get used to sharing with him the good and bad things in her life and work, things that weren't trivial but didn't need to be told to Ye Ji, who was far away in China.
Liang Qi was always a perfect listener. He didn't offer many opinions or thoughts, but his occasional responses made her want to talk to him more.
In her interactions with others, Jiang Nuanyu doesn't usually do the majority of the talking. So, when she's with Liang Qi, sometimes she'll be halfway through explaining something when the thought suddenly pops into her head, "Am I talking too much?"
At these times, she would always subconsciously look at Liang Qi. Even if Liang Qi wasn't actually looking at her, he could always keenly sense her gaze and look back at her with his usual focused eyes.
Each time their eyes met, Jiang Nuanyu would blush and feel hot for a few seconds before she could continue what she had just said.
She had to admit that some people are very noticeable even when they are silent.
Even so, Jiang Nuanyu is still difficult to categorize as a talkative person. The same goes for Liang Qi. Their interactions aren't always filled with constant conversation; when they do fall silent, it doesn't feel awkward.
For example, right now.
Jiang Nuanyu was quietly spreading the egg yolk that had spilled onto the plate with a small piece of bread. Her movements were serious and meticulous. After gathering the egg liquid, she added fried cod and a few cucumber strips on top and ate it together.
Her cheeks were bulging, and she chewed slowly with her mouth closed, without any food falling out. She still held one hand under her chin in a slightly refined manner.
Liang Qi looked up and saw her demure yet somewhat adorable way of eating, and gently tugged at the corner of his mouth.
After a while, he casually mentioned, "I'm going back to China at the end of the month."
Upon hearing this, Jiang Nuanyu raised her eyebrows slightly, swallowed the food in her mouth, licked her lips, and said, "I want to go back too."
Liang Qi didn't speak, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, he kindly hummed in response.
Jiang Nuanyu said, "The rent for my apartment in Beijing is about to expire. When I came to Paris, I only brought some clothes and necessities with me, and now I have to go back and sort out my things at home."
"What should we do?" Liang Qi asked.
Jiang Nuanyu frowned and sighed softly, "Send it home...that's the only way."
She didn't take her things from her home in the capital when she came, but that doesn't mean she was willing to throw them all away. It wasn't that she was stingy with the money, she just felt it was a waste.
Liang Qi narrowed his eyes slightly and asked her, "Where do you live?"
The question sounded strangely intimate, and Jiang Nuanyu paused for a moment before saying, "In Linping." She added, "I'm from Linping."
Liang Qi nodded slightly and didn't ask any more questions.
Jiang Nuanyu lowered her head and rummaged through the vegetables on her plate, her brow furrowed for a long time. Although that was her plan, sending so many things home was too much of a hassle, and just thinking about it gave her a headache.
Liang Qi glanced at her and suddenly said, "Leave it with me."
"Huh?" Jiang Nuanyu rested her chin on her hand, looked up, and didn't understand.
Liang Qi said, "If you don't want to mail it, you can leave it with me."
“But there’s really a lot of stuff.” Jiang Nuanyu propped her head up, counting on her fingers as she recalled and estimated, analyzing the possibility of “temporarily storing” her belongings with Liang Qi.
"I'll probably need to pack several bags of clothes, plus books, old magazines, and all sorts of odds and ends, and then—" She suddenly stopped talking when she met Liang Qi's gaze.
Liang Qi leaned back in his chair, pursed his lips, and looked into her deep eyes, where a rare hint of helplessness appeared.
Jiang Nuanyu quickly explained, "It's not that I'm afraid I won't be able to let go, I mean it would be... more troublesome..."
Liang Qi's expression relaxed. He picked up the water glass, twirled it in his hand, and then took a small sip.
Jiang Nuanyu belatedly realized the possible other meaning in his words, and suddenly lowered her eyes, her gaze drifting back and forth on the table.
His tone was so natural, so casual, that she couldn't tell if he was testing her or just mentioning it casually. But she didn't dare ask. She wasn't sure if, given their current stable yet fragile relationship, it was appropriate to pursue such a question.
She wanted to see his expression, but out of the corner of her eye she could only catch a glimpse of his hand on the table, his thumb slowly rubbing the knuckle of his index finger, making her feel a little itchy inside.
Liang Qi glanced at her gradually reddening earlobes, then changed the subject and asked, "Have you booked the tickets? When are you arriving?"
"Yes, yes! I've booked it!" After Liang Qi finally managed to change the subject, Jiang Nuanyu answered very quickly, "The flight is next Friday night, arriving Saturday noon."
Liang Qi nodded in understanding.
"And you?" she asked.
Liang Qi said, "It might be a day or two later."
"Oh." Jiang Nuanyu did the math and said with a hint of regret, "Then I'll be leaving almost as soon as you get back."
Liang Qi hadn't expected her schedule to be so tight: "Why don't you stay a few more days?"
Jiang Nuanyu said, "I only have to move when I get back, so two days should be enough."
Excluding the weekend, Jiang Nuanyu only took one day off. Her return ticket was for Monday noon, arriving in Paris Monday evening. She could go to work as usual on Tuesday.
Once she finishes moving, she'll have nowhere to live. Unfortunately, Ye Ji is in New Zealand filming a commercial and won't be back until early next month. If she stays in Beijing any longer, she'll have to stay in a hotel.
Moreover, she doesn't want another extended vacation to disrupt her current, satisfying work rhythm. At least, she doesn't plan to for the time being.
“I’ll have my secretary help you pack, and then I’ll send someone over to move it later,” Liang Qi said. “Or I can have Peng Ze go back early and help you with that.”
"No, no, no, it's not necessary." Jiang Nuanyu waved her hand. It was already troublesome enough to ask the secretary for help, and hearing Peng Ze's name made her feel even more unworthy. "There's no need to go to so much trouble. Let Assistant Peng stay by your side."
Hearing that she seemed to have only rejected Peng Ze, but not the secretary, Liang Qi didn't insist: "Whatever you say."
After dinner, Liang Qi, as usual, had the driver park the car near Jiang Nuanyu's apartment, and then he walked her downstairs.
As they walked back, Jiang Nuanyu asked, "How long are you staying in Paris this time?"
"Leaving tomorrow."
He didn't say where he was going, and Jiang Nuanyu didn't ask either, she just nodded: "Oh."
Her return to China and Liang Qi's return dates could very well overlap, and even if Liang Qi comes to Europe again, he might not go to Paris first. The round trip could mean at least ten days, or even longer, without them seeing each other, not to mention the few days before she returns to China…
Reason told her not to have any expectations, but she couldn't help wondering when they would meet again.
Jiang Nuanyu really wanted to ask Liang Qi if she could see him again before she returned to China, but she was also worried that such a question would break the seemingly tacit understanding between them.
She sighed inwardly and turned her head to look at Liang Qi.
Liang Qi stared straight ahead; the light was dim, yet the contours of his profile remained clearly defined.
He lowered his eyes, turned his head to look at her, the night casting a hazy shadow over his gaze: "What's wrong?"
Jiang Nuanyu gave him a slight smile and shook her head: "No. Nothing."
Just as Jiang Nuanyu was about to turn around, she caught a glimpse of a dark figure rapidly approaching her. Almost simultaneously, a force pulled her arm back a step before she could react.
At the bend, a bicycle sped towards them. The cyclist's view was obstructed, and they hadn't noticed Jiang Nuanyu beforehand. They swerved the handlebars sharply, barely managing to avoid her original spot.
The other person left with a "Sorry Miss" and walked away. Jiang Nuanyu, using the momentum from turning around, landed steadily in Liang Qi's arms.
Jiang Nuanyu's dress was sleeveless, the thin fabric almost imperceptible as it clashed with her skin. Through the crisp fabric of her suit jacket, Liang Qi's warmth seeped into her skin. His breath was close, his pleasant scent faintly wafting to her nose, so familiar it made her momentarily dazed.
She learned while researching perfumes that, in psychology, olfactory memory is the longest-lasting and most invasive.
She was enveloped by Liang Qi's aura, and the long kiss in the entryway on the day she was discharged from the hospital became clearer and clearer in her memory.
Liang Qi half-circled and half-supported her, steadily balancing her weight, and Jiang Nuanyu forgot to stand up straight. She inexplicably longed for this closeness, and the hand on his arm unconsciously tightened its grip.
As darkness fell, the last rays of sunlight lingered among the buildings of Paris, becoming hazy and ambiguous.
The two embraced each other almost like that.
In the sky, dusk and night linger and pull at each other, one reluctant to leave, the other seemingly trying to hold on.
Night will eventually fall, but darkness will not last forever.
In the distance, streetlights along the street lit up one by one, gradually pushing the night further away.
Jiang Nuanyu was momentarily blinded by the streetlight overhead, and the light seemed to pull her back to her senses. She finally pushed Liang Qi away.
"Thank you," she said, turning to turn away.
Liang Qi placed his hands on her shoulders, turned her around, and looked directly into her eyes: "What were you trying to say just now?"
Jiang Nuanyu looked at him shyly and flusteredly: "I..."
She hesitated, still not daring to ask.
"Do you want to see me?" Liang Qi asked her.
Jiang Nuanyu was stunned.
More than a year ago, on that summer night on Dream Island, when she bravely and lightly confessed her feelings to him, wanting to enter his world, he asked her the same question.
Liang Qi also remembered what happened that day. At that time, his tone was casual, without any emotional fluctuation, and it was more of a probe into her question, "Can we meet again?" He was assessing and examining her motives.
But now, he has drawn her into the game, no longer standing aside. He takes the initiative to ask for her confession, but she seems to have lost the courage to say it.
Jiang Nuanyu looked at him, her eyes filled with unspoken words, but her mouth remained closed, unable to utter a sound.
Over the past year, through getting closer, testing each other, and repeatedly expressing her feelings, through physical intimacy and emotional fusion, through retreat, misunderstandings, painful separations and the bitterness of reunion, she has changed and grown, exploring what it truly means to love herself and others.
Her impulsive liking for Liang Qi has settled into a more complex and profound love, making the relationship heavy and hard-won for her.
The choice to leave remained a lingering guilt and pain in her heart, making it difficult for her to express her feelings of affection and all the emotions that she could have sincerely conveyed.
Overwhelmed by intense emotions, Jiang Nuanyu's eyes reddened. Liang Qi looked up and patted her shoulder to comfort her.
He didn't wait for her reply any longer. He placed his hand behind her head and pressed a deep, slow kiss on her hairline.
He used this kiss to replace her answer.
Jiang Nuanyu's breath hitched, and her heart ached for a moment. She closed her eyes and felt the warmth of his lips.
As always, Liang Qi's kisses always made her heart flutter. But this kiss on her forehead was the first time he had taken the initiative to kiss her. It was devoid of passion or lust, yet it made her want to hold him tightly, to give him everything, and to exchange it for his complete acceptance.
Liang Qi turned his face away, lowered his head and touched the stray hairs at her temple with his lips. She looked up and met his gaze.
The streetlights overhead cast a small, faint shadow below Liang Qi's eyes, but Jiang Nuanyu felt that his eyes were darker than the night and brighter than the lamplight.
“Liang Qi…” she couldn’t help but call out to him.
Liang Qi touched her face and looked at her. "I can't confirm the specific schedule," he said. "I'll come when I have time."
Jiang Nuanyu's heart skipped a beat again.
She knew that Liang Qi was never one to easily allow others to have expectations of him. She always believed that reserve was Liang Qi's true nature.
However, his simple words seemed to carry the weight of a promise, surprising her and allowing the expectation she had never dared to have to grow wildly in her heart.
She nodded to him and replied softly:
"Um."
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A note from the author:
Jiang Jiang and Mr. Liang's daily life: Eating, eating, eating...yummy~
Continue read on readnovelmtl.com
