My name is Wang Chunni, but I changed my name when I was ten years old.
It wasn't my choice to change; my father sold me to a top courtesan in a brothel.
She was an incredibly beautiful girl named Yinghong. She told me that people here don't use their real names.
The original name is in the past; taking a new name means the beginning of another chapter in life.
So she named me Chun'er.
I am from Dashi Village, but I lived there for less than five years. Later, because my father was dishonest and conspired with a beggar, he angered the villagers and my family was driven out of Dashi Village.
To be honest, my father was a wicked man, and I wasn't much better.
This is probably what they mean by "if the upper beam is crooked, the lower beam will be crooked too".
In the years after we left the village, our family's situation worsened, and we became so poor that we almost had to beg for food on the streets.
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When my father sold me, I was still in a daze; all I knew was what my mother told me.
“Chunni, you’ll starve to death sooner or later if you stay with us. Your parents can’t let you die.”
Later, I ended up by the side of the top courtesan in the brothel in a daze. With the money I earned from selling myself, my parents and younger brother were able to eke out a living for a while longer.
At that time, I was thinking, I am clearly a child you prayed to gods and Buddhas for, how can you just sell me like that?
I can't figure it out, and I don't have the extra time to think about it.
In the brothel, a place where all sorts of people mingle, I had my eyes opened and witnessed a side of life I had never seen before.
The ugly and evil faces of men, the scheming and infighting among women, and the profit-driven nature of brothel madams.
I also witnessed what it means for flowers to bloom for a hundred days and for people to be good for a thousand days.
In just two years, some have already begun to stand out and are showing signs of surpassing the top star, Sister Yinghong.
She told me it was time to leave, otherwise she would only die in this building.
Later, Yinghong was redeemed by a wealthy businessman from out of town after she tried everything she could.
I was a maid that Sister Yinghong bought, so I left with her.
For the first time in the past two years, I stepped out of that small building that was like a living hell, and it was also the first time I saw what it looked like during the day.
It was lifeless and gray; who would have thought it would be a completely different sight at night?
We arrived at a village in the suburbs, and only then did I realize that Yinghong wasn't the only one living there; there were also this girl and that girl.
Yinghong is very open-minded. She said that someone like her could never find a good match, and that she was lucky to have gotten out of that place.
We stayed here for three years. The wealthy businessman, Mr. Zhou, often came to stay here. Whenever he came, everyone would do their best to please him.
Only Yinghong showed little interest and didn't move forward. She quietly told me that the food was the best when Master Zhou came, and that I should eat more.
If Master Zhou doesn't come, everyone will live peacefully in the manor.
Those three years were the happiest I've ever had. The happiness I felt then gradually wore away my resentment towards my parents.
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At least, I'm doing pretty well now, right?
However, the good times didn't last long. Master Zhou's first wife found out about the place, but instead of coming over immediately, she sent her son, Zhou Baojin, over first.
That was the first time I met Zhou Baojin. The young man looked down at the women in the courtyard with his head held high and cursed them all the things his mother had told him to do.
Later we were locked up, and they said they were waiting for Madam Zhou to deal with us.
I'm scared; I don't know what I'll encounter next.
Sister Yinghong comforted me, "Chun'er, it's alright. Your indenture is with me, the Zhou family won't do anything to you."
"And what about you? How will the Zhou family treat you?" I blurted out.
Sister Yinghong looked out through the narrow window, "Let's fight or kill."
I could clearly see that there was no life in Yinghong's eyes. At that moment, I thought, if only we could escape.
Yinghong risked her life to get out of there, but not long after, her life was no longer in her own hands.
The original text comes from Tower & Read Novels~&
Looking back now, I guess that was the only time I was a decent person.
When I met Zhou Baojin, I knelt on the ground and begged him to let Yinghong leave. I told him that in all these years in the village, Yinghong had never taken the initiative to get involved with Master Zhou.
All she wanted was to live a good life, and she begged Zhou Baojin to give Yinghong a way out.
I thought Zhou Baojin had softened his heart and agreed. Yinghong was secretly sent away, and I wanted to go with her.
Zhou Baojin told me that there is no such thing as a free lunch.
I understood the look in his eyes. Although I am inexperienced, I have seen too many looks like that.
Zhou Baojin became my first man. He bought me a lot of things and said that he would take me back to the Zhou family after the estate was sold.
By then, I was no longer an innocent young girl. Someone like me, if I went back with him, would probably only end up as a maidservant.
I didn't refuse him, but I didn't really want to go, yet I couldn't think of a better place to go.
Just then, Zhuangzi was bought by someone, which was quite a coincidence, as the buyer turned out to be the Xu family.
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Suddenly I burst into tears, crying for myself and for Zhou Baojin. It's rare for someone like me to have him genuinely care about me.
In the end, I was taken away before I could even enter the Zhou family's gate. The other party was a nobleman from the capital, and the Zhou family was powerless to resist.
Before leaving, Zhou Baojin said to me, "When you come back, apply the medicine for me."
I said okay, little did I know that would be the last time I saw Zhou Baojin.
The fact that my parents abused Fu Man'er when she was a child has been exposed. Judging from Madam Ru's tone, our Wang family is doomed.
But I don't want to die. I promised Zhou Baojin that I would go back and apply medicine to him.
So I braced myself and spoke of the kindness of raising me, hoping that Madam Wang would spare the Wang family's life.
To my surprise, Madam Ru agreed so quickly; she had us taken away.
I was overjoyed, but when I glanced at Madam Ru, her inscrutable expression suddenly made me uneasy.
Sure enough, we were taken to a very remote place.
When someone came out with a knife, my parents screamed like madmen, even trying to break free of the ropes, while constantly begging for mercy.
I stood there motionless, even feeling as if I were facing death, because I knew that everything they had done was in vain.
The lady's attendant came over and said, "Originally, the lady wanted you to suffer to death, but considering that you adopted the young lady, she will give you a quick death."
So that's how it is. I was thinking that Madam Ru had gone through so much trouble to find her daughter, but knowing that her daughter had been abused like this, she let her go so easily.
It seems I underestimated things; in the end, I couldn't escape death.
The man with the knife swiftly brought it down, and my parents and younger brother were already lying in front of me. The last person to fall was me.
The knife pierced my chest, then was pulled out, and I fell to the ground, blood flowing continuously.
So this is what it means to feel like you're dying. I looked at that falling leaf; it had been drifting for so long and still hadn't hit the ground.
In the moment before I closed my eyes, many people appeared in my mind: my grandmother, who was tormented by illness; Sister Yinghong, who looked old and worn; Fuman'er, who I had known since childhood; and Zhou Baojin.
I really wanted to tell him not to wait for me to go back and apply the medicine, but to find someone else; those injuries couldn't wait.
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The moment my eyelids closed, my tears fell.
If there is a next life, I don't want to be called Wang Chunni, just Chun'er would be fine.
I don't want to have that weird dream anymore.
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