Episode 56 How Much Hate
When Lin Ying found out she was pregnant under those circumstances, she appeared confused on the surface, but her heart was clear as a mirror - the child was not Yan Yiming's.
Not to mention that Yan Yiming was on a business trip during that time. Even after he came back, the two of them had a falling out because of Jiang Shu and had to sleep in separate beds for half a month. They didn't have a complete relationship at all, so how could they get pregnant?
Therefore, the child she was carrying could only be Jiang Shu's.
After understanding all this, Lin Ying was filled with regret, but she didn't dare to express this regret to anyone, not even to Jiang Shu - especially after she knew what Jiang Shu felt for her.
He could always invent a perfect love story, in which he wasn't the third party interfering in someone else's marriage, and she wasn't a fickle woman, but rather a pair of star-crossed lovers who had been unable to find love for each other for years. They had accidentally ended up in the same family, calling each other brother and sister, but already had feelings for each other.
Now that her marriage is broken, he is willing to be the one who supports her, even if it means raising a child for someone else.
But he didn't care. Marrying her would only confirm his unwavering love and his lack of regrets. Even if his family opposed or criticized him, the criticism would be harmless to him. Jiang Yueling would not turn against his only son and seize power from him, and Lin Jidong would not dare to talk about breaking up with him, his "own family member".
Just like what he blurted out to her at the funeral: "I will marry you without hesitation, no matter what my parents and the Yan family think."
In short, he has plenty of confidence.
But that was his, not Lin Ying's.
Now that things have come to this, what is her confidence?
An unfaithful woman, an unsatisfied woman, a daughter who disregards ethics?
At that time, she did not have the courage to face all kinds of judgments and would rather compromise with the status quo.
After the funeral, she was taken to the Yan family's old house to recuperate. Monthly prenatal checkups and various medications and supplements filled her life and diet. She was so overwhelmed by Ren Jiahui's constant questioning that she even secretly asked a doctor if she could have an abortion.
The result is a dilemma - she suffered physical and mental trauma during pregnancy, and coupled with her already low blood pressure, the harm of abortion to her cannot be underestimated.
Facing the judgment of health, morality and reproductive rights, looking at the unformed dinosaur embryo in the B-ultrasound report, Lin Ying felt as if she was being torn between two sides. On one hand, there was her irreversible identity as a mother once the decision was made, and on the other hand, there was the unknown life of what to do after giving up childbearing.
She is still chaotic.
She was pregnant for ten months in a daze, gave birth to her daughter in a daze, heard the baby's cry as she was born, and her tears fell on the baby's soft and pink cheek, as if she wanted to absorb them both into this vast ocean - her life suddenly became boundless again because of this little thing.
But in such a vast world, it seems that not an inch of it belongs to her.
After the confinement period after giving birth, she recovered well and planned to return to work, but was told that Yan Song had taken the initiative to resign on her behalf during her pregnancy.
In order to ensure that Lin Ying would stay at home and be a full-time mother in the future, they dismissed the confinement nanny as early as their daughter's full month old.
She could no longer bear it and asked harshly:
"Didn't we agree not to interfere in my life anymore? Why are you resigning on my behalf?"
But she always got some cliché answers -
"The child is still young and needs his mother. Our family doesn't need you to earn a few thousand yuan. Why not enjoy a peaceful life at home?"
Enjoy a peaceful life? Listening to her nagging and looking at my father-in-law's face every day, how can I get any peace and happiness?
People always forget. On the night Yan Yiming was murdered, the couple stood by Lin Ying's bedside, saying all the nice things they could to persuade her to let go of her emotions and have a baby, and they also promised not to interfere in her life anymore... They had long forgotten about it. Without their only son, their only hope was their only grandson.
In the past, she was Lin Jidong's vassal. Later, she became Yan Yiming's vassal. Even if she married Jiang Shu, she was still a vassal...
She seems to be always waiting, waiting for a time, waiting for a result.
What was she waiting for? What could she possibly be waiting for? What was there to wait for? Was this all she had hoped for?
She had been hesitant and timid in the past, but when faced with the Yan couple's fickleness and gentle ruthlessness, she suddenly realized that if she compromised again, it would not only be her life that would be wasted, but also her daughter's.
So, she risked everything, forcing herself, and them, to face the truth that had been confusing them for a year.
"This child is not Yan Yiming's at all."
The Yan family was horrified, their hands shaking as they prepared the milk powder, but they still couldn't stand up to Lin Ying's bloody accusation:
"I've had enough of you! I should have left since the day Yan Yiming was murdered. It's me who has repeatedly compromised, allowing you to repeatedly interfere in everything as if it were your right.
You don't care at all why I'm filing for divorce, because in your eyes, these things are just 'small matters', but today I want to confess this small matter. I cheated on you a long time ago. Yan Yiming locked me up at home and almost beat me to death. That's why I'm filing for divorce! This child has nothing to do with your Yan family. What right do you have to control my life?!
She didn't mention the identity of her lover, but such explosive news was enough to throw the Yan family into disarray. Yan Song, unable to bear the humiliation, directly reported the matter to Lin Jidong...
It was a windy and rainy summer day, just like the night when she fled to Jiang Shu's villa with her injured body, Lin Ying came to the Jiang family mansion with her daughter who was less than three months old.
Just after handing the child over to the nanny, Lin Jidong saw her come in and come down the stairs, rushed over and slapped her...
"You shameless beast! I've raised you for all these years!"
"If I had known this would happen, I should have thrown you out! You might as well die with your mother!"
"Whose little bastard is this? And you still have the nerve to bring her back?!"
Lin Jidong's shouting at the top of his lungs made Xiao Ruxing burst into tears. The huge and empty reception room was like a grenade thrown into it, exploding completely and making her feel suffocated.
Jiang Yueling, wearing a silk nightgown, stood at the entrance of the stairs on the second floor, looking down at the chaos below, rubbing her temples and reminding:
"Lao Lin, if you have anything to say, go to your study. I don't want to listen to these dirty things at night."
In the study, facing his father's bloody scolding, Lin Ying came prepared -
"Dad, we have been father and daughter for more than ten years, and you have never listened to me seriously, but you must listen to what I say today."
She sorted out her thoughts and spoke eloquently:
"Ever since you married into the Jiang family, you've been trying every possible way to acquire shares, because you're unwilling to be inferior to your wife, but at the same time you have to commit to Aunt Jiang's assets. When I, your illegitimate daughter, was sent here, Aunt Jiang was already wary of me. To maintain your image in front of your wife, you've ignored me for years and given in on everything. You married me into the Yan family so that your in-laws could benefit from it together. Those projects that Yan Song invested in under the name of my dowry, you actually had your hand in them, right?
Over the past decade or so, you've always used me more for exploitation than for affection. My only value to you is to maintain your profit relationship."
Lin Jidong, whose selfish desires were touched, looked unhappy and tried to refute.
"Back then, your mother sent you to me without a word, and the next day, you went on a carefree trip with a new couple. You got into a car accident and killed yourself. You deserved it. You're my daughter, and I raised you. This is fate!"
"There's no need to talk about the past. It doesn't matter whether you have feelings for me or not. I'm here to negotiate terms with you today."
"You are in this state now, why do you want to negotiate with me?"
"Because I'm still your daughter, and my child's father is Jiang Shu!"
She raised her voice slightly, her heart pounding violently. Lin Jidong himself, however, was petrified at these words.
"Besides you, I haven't told anyone about this, including Jiang Shu himself. You should understand that if this matter is made public, it will not benefit anyone else, but as long as it is a 'secret', it will only benefit you."
As children, Lin Ying and Jiang Shu already held significant stakes in the group. The automatic inheritance of shares by direct blood relatives was written into the company's articles of incorporation. Lin Jidong, the company's second-largest shareholder, had been preparing a family trust plan for years. As long as Lin Ying, acting as guardian, held the children's shares on their behalf, and Jiang Shu and her mother were unaware of the relationship, and a covert operation was underway, this would be Lin Jidong's greatest bargaining chip in his attempt to turn the group around...
Just as Lin Ying said, if this matter is made public now, the spit of public opinion will drown him and the entire Jiang Lin, but if it is kept secret and kept in his hands as a trump card, even if it is only used to threaten Jiang Yueling's annexation, it will be enough to make Lin Jidong tempted.
"I can work with you to sign an agreement. If necessary, my daughter's and my shares can be unconditionally given to you, including Jiang Shu's share as her biological father...but I have two conditions.
First, you must help me resolve the entanglement with the Yan family. I want the custody of my daughter. And from now on, neither you nor the Jiang and Yan families are allowed to interfere in the lives of my daughter and me.
Second, Ruxing's biological father is unaware of her existence. As her grandfather and the biggest beneficiary, I should demand alimony for her. Furthermore, as your daughter, I also want all the assets and real estate that you bought for me as a dowry and that are still in my name.
Lin Jidong, no matter how much you despise me or how much you hate what I have done, you owe me these things.
In Lin Ying's life so far, there are two most unforgettable scenes.
One was when she was five years old, her mother dropped her off at the Jiang family's gate, then turned away with a resolute look. The other was when she left the Jiang family's gate in the rain, holding her two-month-old daughter after a negotiation with her father.
At that moment, she thought of her mother.
In her shallow memory, her life before the age of five was not luxurious, but it was leisurely and comfortable.
I don’t understand what difficulties and troubles are, or what a bright future is. I only know that returning home every day, walking through the fireworks inside and outside the alley, returning to my own living room, and eating the meals cooked by my mother is the happiest thing in the world.
Until one day, a strange man came to the house, but to her mother, he was like a family member - this was Zhou Ruo's boyfriend.
Lin Ying had a slight impression of him. He would always pass by the hall door, riding his bicycle, and occasionally shouting towards the inner window of the house. Whenever this happened, Zhou Ruo would temporarily put down his work, smile broadly and wave back at the man with the same grin...
"This is my daughter, Aying."
The man also grinned at her, but his smile was not half as beautiful as the one he gave in the hall. Looking back on it as an adult, Lin Ying realized that that smile was just perfunctory.
Within two months, this place became like the man's second home. He was familiar with the place and left in a hurry. Sometimes when he bumped into Xiao Lin Ying, his face was full of hesitation.
One day she suddenly asked Zhou Ruo——
“Mom, will Uncle Qin be my dad?”
However, when Zhou Ruo heard this, her hand, which was threading the needle, trembled. After a long while, she touched her head and asked:
"Do you want a daddy?"
Although she was not close to the man, seeing her mother smiling these days, she vaguely felt that she should nod.
But after nodding, Zhou Ruo's expression did not get better. It was completely different from the expression she had in front of men.
A month later, Lin Ying was told that she would be sent to live with her father. Zhou Ruo promised, "You will have a better future there."
"What about Mom?"
"Mom...will have her own future, but she will always be Aying's mother."
But my mother broke her promise.
She was left in someone else's home, with a biological father whom she had never met and a stepmother who ignored her.
Zhou Ruo and her newlywed husband also died in the car accident.
It was said that the two had just gotten their marriage certificate and were planning to go on a honeymoon. It was pouring rain that day, and visibility was extremely poor. Their car was rear-ended by a truck on the national highway, and both the people and the car flipped over...
Later she realized that everyone around her, whether legally or blood relatives, wanted her to disappear from their lives.
Because of her presence, her mother could not concentrate on building a new family. Because of her arrival, Lin Jidong felt ashamed in front of his wife. Because of her appearance, Jiang Yueling was also wary of her husband.
She is like a sitting duck, her existence simply to be annoying.
So for many years, what she was best at was obedience, obedient to the point of losing sight of her true self, obedient to the point of diluting her emotions, and even marrying the so-called "right" person in a daze.
But such obedience did not bring true correctness.
The affair with Jiang Shu shattered everything. Day by day, she strayed off track, like a locomotive that had burned through its entire stock of wood, hurtling towards its destined destination, bruised and bloodied...
Just like Anna Karenina who died by lying on the railway tracks, but Karenina's life ended at that moment, but she was still alive.
But some people don't think she deserves to be alive.
Yan Yiming warned her: "If I tell your story, the rest of your life will be ruined."
But the moment she rushed out of the Jiang family, she murmured to herself -
"Does this mean it's destroyed?"
Anyway, she can't get back on track, so she can only keep making mistakes. But what can she do if she keeps making mistakes?
At that moment, she understood Zhou Ruo. Perhaps she sent her away not because she thought her daughter was a burden, but because in that era, a single mother with a child would only drag down the lives of two people.
But if she had followed Lin Jidong, at least she would have no worries about food and clothing, and Zhou Ruo would have had better life choices - although the ending was sad, at least it was her own choice.
But now times have changed, and she might be able to try to open up a new path for her and her daughter.
She didn't want her child to marry into the wrong family, nor did she want her mistakes to come back to haunt her child. She certainly didn't want her daughter to be like her - locked in a cage from birth.
Leaving these people, she wants her own life, and she also wants her children to have their own life.
This is what happened five years ago, before Lin Ying left the Jiang family.
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