Episode 8 Lonely Heart
Lin Ying didn't have much of an appetite, so she just grabbed some fruits and pastries from the buffet and went straight back to her room.
The executive suite was large and spacious, with a broad view. She stared at the Suzhou New District shrouded in darkness for a while and felt that the city landscape was quite boring. The night view of Shanghai was the same. It was all the same after seeing it too much. The towering and cramped skyscrapers floated there like scales. It was like being at the bottom of the sea, breathing was difficult, everything was a vacuum, and it had nothing to do with her.
After taking a shower, seeing that it was still early, Lin Ying lay in bed, watched some videos, and replied to work messages. Tomorrow is Saturday, and she can escape into the void for a short time again.
As she thought aimlessly, her eyelids gradually drooped...
She dreamed of walking in darkness, with no light around her. She was alone for a long time, but the voices in her ears never stopped, including those of her father, stepmother, mother-in-law, and Yan Yiming.
"Aying, you have to be sensible and don't let your father down."
"Aying has always been a worry-free child. It would be a great bargain for your family if she marries Yiming in the future."
"Aying, I've watched you grow up, and I've been hoping you could be my daughter!"
"Aying, marry me. I will treat you well for the rest of my life."
…
"I love you, Aying."
Her body twitched and she suddenly woke up from her dream.
The face of the person who confessed to me at the end of the dream overlapped with the person in front of me!
Jiang Shu was sitting on the edge of the bed. He must have just taken a shower, wearing a bathrobe, with slightly damp hair... Seeing her wake up, he asked:
"Having a nightmare?"
"It's a nightmare, really."
Lin Ying turned her face away and reflected on why she had such a dream.
Is it because I covet his body that I wish he would say "I love you" to me?
That's ridiculous.
She asked, "Are you done?"
"Well, I made you wait until you fell asleep. Isn't that boring?"
"It's okay. It's boring to be alone at home anyway."
He used his palm to block Lin Ying's face as she tried to hide. He seemed to think she was very cute and teased her for no reason: "Yeah, I feel bored sometimes too."
"You can have fun anywhere. You won't be more bored than me."
Hearing this, Jiang Shu obviously wanted to argue, but Lin Ying had already closed her eyes and was kissing his palm with her plump lips. The delicate, yet distant touch made his skin numb and itchy - he suddenly remembered that a few months ago, this finger had fed him a whole strawberry.
Feeling her small teeth and tongue, teasing her with a reluctance, he responded to her passionate teasing with his fingers. His fingertips, initially hot, quickly turned cold. He simply kissed her dishonest tongue, twisting and kneading her pistil with his saliva-soaked fingers. Hearing her soft moans, he wanted to be unbridled and leave a mark that belonged to him on her collarbone...
But she still retained a trace of clarity and reminded him - "Don't leave any traces..."
Just like what the two of them are doing now, no trace can be left.
He had to give up his desire, but his fingers were still patient, awakening her body step by step - it seemed that only when she was awakened could she feel alive.
The heat swept over her, and every scale of her goldfish was beaten dry and wet, and her whole body seemed to melt.
After finishing, Jiang Shu disposed of the condoms as usual and returned to the bedroom. However, seeing that she had no intention of getting up, he returned to the bed, hugged her from behind, and patiently helped her tidy her hair, gently kissing the back of her neck...
After the last meeting, she said goodbye in a hurry, but this time there was such a long aftercare period - is this probably the service type described in the book?
"How did you feel this time? It just ended, I shouldn't forget it so soon."
Lin Ying couldn't help laughing, but didn't turn around: "Do you ask everyone after you finish talking to them?"
He paused for a moment before admitting, "Not necessarily. I asked at first, but not later."
"Why?"
"Once you have enough experience, you don't need to prove it over and over again."
"Then why are you not confident now?"
"You're different." He stroked her hair and admitted softly, "You're my sister, so of course I have to treat you specially."
I knew it would be like this.
She pretended to be nonchalant and deliberately didn't answer his question, "When was your first time...?"
"I was 22 years old and was dating an international student from the same school. She pursued me for four years, and I agreed to date her before graduation. That was my only relationship, and after that I never had a long-term relationship with a girl. Most of the time we were just bedmates."
"Then why did you break up? She was the one you liked, right?"
“…Are you curious?”
Lin Ying then turned around and lay face to face with him. Her pair of dark, deer-like eyes flashed with a desire to explore, causing Jiang Shu to lose consciousness for five seconds... This was the first time he looked into these eyes so closely and so purely, and these eyes also looked at him so sincerely.
"I'm bored and want to hear a story."
Jiang Shu laughed dumbly, reached out and pinched her face, teasing her: "So you will be bored if you don't have sex?"
…
"If you don't want to talk about it, forget it. It has nothing to do with me anyway."
She pouted, a fleeting, subconscious gesture, but Jiang Shu suddenly pressed in again, kissing her fiercely. He really couldn't understand how Yan Yiming could make her feel so empty and lonely when facing Lin Ying like this...
Lin Ying was overwhelmed by his unreasonable kiss. The two of them were playing and making out in bed when the rumbling sound of her stomach suddenly ruined the atmosphere...
Jiang Shu suddenly stopped and asked, "Didn't you have dinner tonight?"
Lin Ying was a little embarrassed: "I didn't have much appetite at that time, so I just ate some fruit..."
Hearing this, Jiang Shu got up from the bed, went to the table and took out the hotel menu to show Lin Ying, "Just order what you want to eat."
But after looking for a long time, there is not a single dish that suits my taste...
Lin Ying put down the menu and decided, "I'm going to order a KFC family bucket! And preferably with some beer!"
Thirty minutes later, the hotel robot delivered the KFC takeout and two cans of beer bought from the convenience store to the door.
As soon as Jiang Shu brought it in, Lin Ying jumped out of bed excitedly, and wanted to take it without even putting on her slippers...
The hotel's air conditioning was turned down low, so Jiang Shu deliberately raised the takeout bag so that she couldn't reach it, then calmly ordered, "Put on your slippers."
Lin Ying, who was crying for food, didn't think too much. She went back to the bedroom and put on disposable slippers. When she came out, Jiang Shu had already spread out the fried chicken, French fries and beer on the bar.
"I ordered a lot, shall we eat together?"
She sat at the bar and suggested, but Jiang Shu refused, "Eat it yourself, I don't have the habit of eating midnight snacks."
Lin Ying took a bite of her burger and sarcastically said, "No wonder you've maintained such a good figure. It seems what Xiao Lu said before was true."
Jiang Shu took out ice cubes from the refrigerator, poured himself a glass of whiskey, and couldn't help asking,
"What did she say?"
Lin Ying couldn't have said this in the past, but since their current relationship was almost the same as Xiao Lu and him back then, he generously repeated:
"She said: Men are restrained in normal times, but they become more emotional when they are doing it."
"She always likes to talk some dirty shit."
This comment seemed to be filled with a hint of disdain. Lin Ying opened a can of beer and pointed it out without reason, "Otherwise, how could I sleep with you?"
Jiang Shu took a sip of wine, thought for a while, and then asked:
"In your eyes, are the reasons why I sleep with someone so superficial?"
"What else? Do you dare to say that you don't like her saying those explicit words?"
Jiang Shu suddenly leaned forward slightly and clinked his whiskey against Lin Ying's beer across the bar. "Have you ever thought about why I slept with you?"
His serious gaze made Lin Ying's face darken.
"I don't care why you slept with me. You have so many women anyway. What does it matter if there's one more or one less?"
She didn't really want to face this topic, as it seemed that no matter what the reason, it would only bring her panic.
The beer foam in her mouth stung her throat and made her cough twice. Jiang Shuben wanted to pat her back, but she pushed him away and jumped down from the bar chair.
Seeing that something was wrong, Jiang Shu wanted to change the subject: "It's just a casual chat, don't take it to heart."
Don't take it personally.
It was this sentence again, this compromising statement that she had heard countless times, which seemed to comfort her but was actually a way of staying out of the matter. It was a complete castration of her emotions.
"Men like you only care about your own happiness no matter who you do with. Why would you care about what women have to face?"
Lin Ying couldn't help but sarcastically say something, but as soon as she finished, she felt a pain in her heart and tears started to fall without any warning, just like last time during the rainstorm.
What was she doing? Why was she telling him all this? Why was she entangled with him? Why was she letting him lead her by the nose?
Yan Yiming doesn't know how to consider her feelings, and Jiang Shu clearly has the ability to do so, but he still acts superior.
From beginning to end, she was being manipulated.
But she was not in the right either. She was a married woman who took advantage of her husband's business trip to meet her lover on the first day. This lover was her stepbrother.
It's so disgusting.
It's to the point where no one will sympathize with you if you tell it to others, and you may even be cursed.
But the person who will be scolded more harshly will only be her.
"He seems to be so quiet and responsible, but he is so shameless behind my back?"
"She took the initiative to sleep with him, and she still has the nerve to say that her mother-in-law's family treated her badly?"
"So many husbands are away all year round, how come she's the only one who can't help it?"
…
She quickly wiped away her tears and went to the bar to drink the remaining can of beer.
But she still felt unsatisfied, so she simply took another glass and poured a full glass of whiskey. Jiang Shu tried to dissuade her -
"Don't be like this, I didn't mean to upset you."
"I'm just unhappy. Not just during this period, nor since I got married. I've never been happy. No one in this family cares about me... I thought that marrying Yan Yiming would make my life better, but it's just like moving from one cage to another."
She drank half a glass of fine whiskey in one gulp, without even adding ice, making it look as easy as drinking beer.
She couldn't stop crying, but she felt satisfied. At least it allowed her emotions to continue boiling.
"I thought my husband cared about me, but it was all just his own self-admiration. He didn't care about my work achievements, how I lived my life, and even... he asked me to help him during sex! He never asked if I was comfortable...
Every time I go out, I say, "Honey, I'm waiting for me at home." Waiting for what? It's as if I'm just a lazy person, like a woman stuck in bed with nothing to do. When he's not around, I'm like a bored woman, waiting at home like a fool. When he comes home, I have to greet him with a smile and tell him, "Honey, I missed you so much. I've been so distracted these past few days without you." I tell them what I want to do and that I can do it alone, but they say my ideas are wrong and that I need to change my life. They keep saying they care about me and are good to me, and they always ask me to adapt to them, but do they really understand me?!
And you... you're the same. We used to be so close to each other, so why did you come to provoke me? Just because you knew I wasn't happy after marriage, is it so fun to tease me? You've had enough of sleeping with other women, so you have to look for some excitement. Isn't it particularly exciting to have an affair with your sister?
With a loud crash—
She raised her hand and knocked the beer bottle on the table to the ground. Foam spurted onto the marble floor, creating a pool of gorgeous waves, which quickly withered and disappeared.
At the same time, the whiskey glass that she was holding loosely also fell.
When the foam and waves disappear, only transparent, broken fragments remain.
"Aying!"
Seeing her stumbling and trying to pick up the broken glass, Jiang Shu rushed over, pulled her away from the shards, hugged her, and buried her in his arms...
"I know you have a prejudice against me, and I also know that you haven't had a good life after marriage. I...I just want to take better care of you."
"I know... I know..."
Her voice was muffled in her arms, like a damp drum, yet she continued to taunt them. "You wanted to take care of me, and I wanted comfort... Isn't that why we went to bed? What's so good about it? Why did you make me think about it? Why did you make me face it... It's already like this between us, isn't that enough?"
Her incoherent words completely shattered the words that Jiang Shu had covered his chest with. The next second, she stood on tiptoe, grabbed his collar with one hand, and kept falling down, with her lips falling into her breath.
Closely pressed against her lips and skin, rubbing against them.
When drunkenness and anger collided with her, she didn't play by the rules.
Her attempts to please him were beyond Jiang Shu's expectations. Both her movements and techniques were exceptionally skillful, even more so than physical contact between the two of them... He could almost imagine how she would try her best to please her husband at home, yet never receive any attention or intimacy from him.
For the first time, he was forced into a corner and had to surrender in front of her.
The night was dark outside the window and the house was in a mess.
Lin Ying drank, his strength drained away, and spent the rest of the night curled up in his quilt like a hibernating rabbit. But Jiang Shu, on the other hand, felt a wave of sleepiness, like fragments, choking him and preventing him from falling asleep. The fox, having feasted on its prey, felt uneasy.
He was so sleepless in the second half of the night that he simply got up and dressed when daybreak began to break.
Before leaving, he carefully cleaned up the glass fragments that fell on the floor last night.
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