Seeing Mingsi's guilty and regretful look, I couldn't bear it.
I consoled her, "Mom, this has nothing to do with you. After all, people's hearts are unpredictable and there are always times when we can't be on guard."
Mingsi sighed heavily and continued, "After you went missing, we immediately called the police. After a long time, we finally found the whereabouts of the nanny, but she died of cancer a few months before we found her. Apart from her, no one knew your whereabouts."
I know most of what happened next.
Mingsi has never given up looking for me, and this search has lasted for more than 20 years.
But there was one thing I didn't know. In the first two years after I lost my child, Mingsi cried all day long and had already shown signs of depression.
"During that time, I felt like I was living in darkness. As soon as I closed my eyes, I would think of you, and my heart would be filled with endless regret. After that, I often suffered from insomnia. Whenever I thought of you, I would always burst into tears uncontrollably."
Listening to Mingsi describe the torment he went through during that period, I could empathize with him.
The same thing happened to me after my miscarriage. Sometimes it wasn’t that I wasn’t sleepy, but I simply didn’t dare to sleep, because as soon as I closed my eyes I would think of the unborn child.
I looked at Mingsi, feeling heartbroken.
Mingsi said helplessly, "Later, your father saw that what I was doing was inappropriate and was afraid that I would become desperate, so he suggested that we adopt Junjun from the orphanage. Because Junjun needed someone to take care of her, and I was very afraid that my experience would repeat itself, I always tried to do everything myself. It was also because of Junjun's company that I slowly got over it."
Speaking of this, I actually felt a little grateful to Tang Jun.
Tang Jun was adopted by the Tang family and has enjoyed superior conditions over the years, but at the same time she also healed Mingsi and brought him back from the brink of depression.
But when Mingsi mentioned what happened that year, his eyes couldn't help but turn red.
For her, it was a painful past that she was unwilling to mention.
I held her hand and comforted her, "That was all in the past. Now I'm back. I will be with you every day from now on and will never leave you again."
Mingsi smiled after being coaxed by me, and said disapprovingly: "How can that be? You are still so young. You will start your own family and have your own children in the future. If you always stay with me, what will happen to your family?"
Hearing Mingsi say this, my heart skipped a beat and I couldn't help but think of my failed marriage with Lu Zhiyuan.
At first I thought I could start a family with him, have a lovely child, and live a happy life as a family of three.
But reality slapped me hard in the face. Those relationships that I thought were solid actually blew away at the slightest breeze.
I gave a lonely smile and said, "I don't want to start a family. I just want to stay by your side and take care of you."
Mingsi looked at me with a distressed look, probably because he also remembered my divorce with Lu Zhiyuan.
Mingsi comforted me: "Don't think like that. A failed marriage may just mean that you deserve a better man."
I was comforted by Mingsi and gave her a smile to reassure her.
Mingsi also forced a smile, but suddenly thought of something and murmured solemnly, "Speaking of which, there's a question I've always been puzzled about. Why did the nanny take you away?"
I was stunned for a moment. I could see that this problem had been bothering Mingsi for a long time.
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