Chapter 59 Heartbreak
On the way back to the East Palace, Yu Fei saw Ding Xiang saying to her with a sad face, "Miss, you don't know that the prince looked at your back outside the palace with eyes as sharp as a knife. But when he left, he sat in the wheelchair with his head down, inexplicably like a widower abandoned by his wife..."
Yu Fei was amused by Ding Xiang's exaggerated and understated remarks, but in a moment he felt sad.
She knew very well that those words pierced Jing Cang's heart like a sharp arrow, but she couldn't accept the empress's reward, which was given by force first and courtesy later, even if she just agreed to be a mistress perfunctorily.
Secondly, as the crown prince, "if you want to wear the crown, you must bear its weight." He has personal responsibilities and missions to shoulder. He is supervised by all officials and admired by the people. There is no need for him to disobey the imperial decree of marriage for the sake of his children's private affairs and be denounced by the world as "blinded by lust."
Maybe he did think so after weighing the pros and cons, and she just helped him make the decision.
Even if there was hope that she could force him to break off the engagement and marry her, she would not do so. She would always feel inferior if she forced him to do so. She was very loyal when they were in love, but if their love faded in the future, and he resented her, hated her, or even took a concubine to have sex with her, how would she cope with it?
Furthermore, love is not everything in life. It is not the case that one cannot live without the other. She experienced a love affair with a future king. They were sincere to each other and had no regrets.
It is impossible to say that she has no selfish motives. She is also an 18-year-old girl in love. Even though she has seen the mess of her parents' marriage and has played with several boys, she still hopes that someone will see through her ostentatious disguise, embrace her broken and timid soul, and love her passionately and recklessly.
When she discovered from the Queen's clues that Jing Cang was outside the palace, she said, "The lovebirds have been freed, Yu Fei has come to her senses, and has no romantic feelings for the prince..." At that time, she not only wanted him to give up and let her go, but she also held a glimmer of hope. She wanted to retreat in order to advance, so that he would take the initiative to offer some promises and actions that a man would make to a woman in order to win her back.
After returning to the East Palace, Yu Fei saw several imperial doctors waiting outside the door. When he went to inquire, he found out that Jing Cang had returned from Kunyi Palace, vomiting blood and unconscious.
Tears fell from her eyes, and she stood outside, hesitating whether to go in and see him. He was already unconscious, so he probably wouldn't ask her about the cruel and heartless words she had said.
Huo Dao seemed to see her worry and hesitation, so he sighed and said seriously, "Your Highness has previously instructed that you are not to see outsiders during your recovery period."
Yu Fei retreated silently.
She was in the side hall, paying attention to the movements in the main hall until midnight when Jing Cang woke up. Upon hearing this, she burst into tears again.
She didn't know why, but when she returned to the East Palace, she suddenly became very fragile. She wanted to cry when she heard the news about him, and her heart was broken when she thought about the two of them disappearing into the world in the future.
I understand the principle, but I just can't be so carefree.
She wanted to escape from the sad and confined place of the East Palace, but she also wanted to stay with him for a while longer to see him recover so that she could leave with peace of mind.
It was estimated that the Empress also had this intention, as she did not send anyone to tell her to leave the palace for several days.
She didn't dare to hang around Jing Cang, fearing that he would be upset when he saw her, causing his injury to worsen. She was also afraid that he would ask her whether what he said that day was true or not, and she would have difficulty answering.
Jing Cang also treated her as if she did not exist in the Eastern Palace and never sent anyone to summon her. Huo Dao only saw her twice, with a sighing look on his face, as if he wanted to say something but stopped.
Wave after wave of precious medicines and supplements were sent to the East Palace, and batch after batch of dignitaries came to visit the prince. Jing Cang did not see anyone except the emperor and the empress. But on this day, Yang Zhi came.
As if to celebrate the arrival of the hostess of the East Palace, the sun came out early in the morning after a long period of cloudy and rainy weather.
Yang Zhi, dressed in a purple dress and as pretty as a flower, was surrounded by people and led to the main hall. Not long after, Jing Canglong came out with her wearing a snow-white fur coat with cloud patterns, and they went to the garden together.
Yu Fei had almost never seen Jing Cang walking upright. He was very tall, half a head taller than Yang Zhi, while Yang Zhi was half a head taller than her. All in all, she barely reached his chin.
When she was doing things in a low-key manner, she always wore a pea green skirt similar to the clothes of the palace maids, and this time was no exception. Although she knew that it was normal for unmarried couples to relax together, she still mixed in with the palace maids working in the garden like a voyeur, watching Jing Cang and Yang Zhi's every move.
They walked half a circle in the garden and rested at a stone pavilion, where they ordered the palace maids to serve them sweet-scented osmanthus cakes and Guzhu purple bamboo shoot tea.
This scene was very familiar. She had just arrived at the East Palace not long ago. Yang Zhi found out what she had done in Shu County. In this pavilion, Yang Zhi forced her to leave Jing Cang, otherwise she would reveal her true identity to the Queen. Yang Zhi also said that Jing Cang liked osmanthus cake with Guzhu purple bamboo shoot tea.
But when they were planning to go to Prince Ning's Mansion to give a gift to Yu's father that day, he clearly said that if she didn't like the taste of Guzhu purple bamboo shoots, he would never drink it again.
Yang Zhi is gentle and considerate, unlike her self-centered character. She always consults Jing Cang about food and only serves tea and snacks after his approval.
Did he forget his promise to her? Or did he make up his mind to sever his ties with her?
Yu Fei felt that she was a little hypocritical. She was the one who pushed him away, but she hoped that he would be as firm as a rock and still be devoted to her.
Yang Zhi picked up a piece of osmanthus cake and handed it to Jing Cang. Jing Cang didn't take it for a long time. Yang Zhi fed it to his mouth again, but Jing Cang turned his head to glance at the bushes where she was hiding.
Was he afraid that she would suddenly rush out and disturb their lovemaking?
Yang Zhi followed his gaze and looked at her. Yu Fei felt ashamed, as if she was a mistress who was coveting someone else's fiancé with ulterior motives.
She turned and ran away, returning to her room with tears streaming down her face, but she stared at the crack of the door, hoping that Jing Cang would catch up with her and explain to her that he and Yang Zhi were being intimate today on purpose to make her jealous, and that he would break off the engagement and marry her.
Unfortunately, ideals are full of hope, but reality is cruel. Jing Cang went straight back to the palace after returning from the garden, but Yang Zhi came.