Chapter 294
Wang Jiazhi's illness finally healed, but she lost weight, her lips were burnt, and her hair, despite daily haircuts, was still frizzy. He didn't catch her infection, but he also lost weight and looked much more haggard.
She was finally able to see the child, hugging him and nuzzling him. The child hadn't forgotten her after not seeing her for a few days. The kitten nestled in her arms and acted coquettishly. The servants in the house all felt that of the three of them, the child was the one who needed the least care.
Thinking about how her illness had caused unrest in the family, she felt really bad. Life had been so hard in the past, but she had never been sick like this before. Maybe she had been sick before when she was a child, but with her mother taking care of her, and now that no one cared about her, she had to become strong.
He stroked her hair and said, "What should I do if I get sick when I'm alone?"
She suddenly felt like crying, remembering how sick she was at her aunt's house, without even a sip of hot water. She couldn't even stand still and almost collapsed on the street. But she still struggled to go out the next day.
Seeing that he seemed to be sick because of worrying about her, she nestled in his arms and said sadly, "You don't have to be so nice to me."
He said, "How can I be so good to you? You're just too strong-willed. You're so grateful for even the slightest kindness others show you. In the future..."
"Okay, I get it. I wouldn't be that stupid."
She felt that she was really stupid. They didn't even do her a small favor, but she was willing to do anything.
At that time, she really wanted to talk to someone about the three years of hardship, the terrible nightmare, the hunger and cold, the experience of being bombed to death at any time. Kuang Yumin came to see her, and she thought he would ask her and listen to her.
But Kuang Yumin only talked about his hardships over the past three years. Seeing her half-dead appearance, he didn't even ask about her. She took the initiative to try to talk about her pain, but he didn't care at all, not even a perfunctory word of comfort. He was just eager for her to join the action again and continue to sell herself out.
Meeting him was a surprise to her. They both knew it was all a play, but he noticed the change in her after all these years of hardship, a sympathy between them as fellow wanderers. She had been sincere to Kuang Yumin and the others, only to discover it was all a scheme. It was a play with him, and she didn't know who started it first, but it finally became real.
She had never blamed him for anything, not because she felt she was unworthy of anything, but because she really would never blame him or hate him no matter what.
When she died, she didn't hate him, she felt she was free. In fact, if he really tortured her, no matter how humiliating or cruel the punishment was, she would not blame him.
No matter how he treated her, she wouldn't think it was excessive. Those worse-than-animals had treated her so badly, yet she wanted them to torture her as much as she had. He was certainly more qualified than anyone else. Repaying evil with kindness, how could one repay kindness?
She had given those who had wronged her the opportunity to torture herself, so how could she not give him the opportunity? Of course, she had to give him more and more cruelly than others to do him justice.
Because her illness had distracted her from the incident, she'd temporarily stopped thinking about it. It was a testament to her strong self-control. She had to live on, even if she didn't die. She remembered how much she cared for him, but if he knew about it, he'd completely stop loving her. She was like a fugitive on the run from a murder case, having escaped for years and lived a good life, but always fearing the day someone would come and catch her, sending her into a state of hell.
But there was no other way. To survive, she had to live. She could only find a way to stay alive and not commit suicide in pain.
But there was one thing that still made her sad and unwilling to accept it. At that time, he truly didn't care about her at all. If he cared about her, and knew what those people had done to her, how could he have been so resolute in letting them die so quickly? He could have killed his own classmates, so why couldn't he kill those people? Why didn't he torture them to the point of being worse than death before killing them? In the end, he no longer loved her, and he didn't care at all.
He didn't mention it to her, but when she was unconscious from the fever, she said nonsense to him, "Find a good person. If you keep me, (Old Wu) and the others will look down on you."
She always knew that Old Wu and the others treated her as a prostitute.
That day, overcome with grief and pain, she drank a little, then drank more and more, losing her composure. In a trance, she flashed back to when she was sixteen, when her mother had passed away. Although she had been ill for a long time, she had been prepared. But knowing she was truly gone, that there was no one left in this world who loved her, she couldn't control her emotions. She shook her head and called out for her mother, who had loved and spoiled her so much when she was alive. She thought that if she heard her sobbing so heartbreakingly, she would wake up. But her mother didn't wake up. When someone dies, there is truly nothing left.
From then on, she grew up alone, living her life. She had thought things would get better, but instead, they kept getting worse, and so did she. It got worse and worse until she died at the age of twenty-three. At that moment, she felt like the match girl, a life so short and miserable, and the last bit of happiness she felt was all fake, a mere illusion before death. In the end, she had nothing left.
He knew that she had no relatives, but it was only when she told him this time that he realized that her mother had passed away when she was so young, and how she grew up alone.
In his previous life, he knew her life story, but he hadn't imagined it would be even more horrific than he'd imagined. He thought of her mother, who died so young, worried about her beautiful and intelligent daughter. But she must have imagined that this girl, of whom she was so proud, would grow up and have a happy life. She could never have imagined that she would die seven years after her death. The daughter she cherished in life endured such hardship after her passing. Her life, instead of getting better, only worsened, and she was accompanied by endless suffering, loneliness, and humiliation until her death.
He felt deeply sorry for her, that he hadn't given her any happiness, only more disbelief and pain. She felt she wasn't worthy of him, that he should love someone pure, innocent, and dazzling. These two naturally rebellious people inevitably fell in love, sinking to the dust.
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