Chapter 398
Last time, Mrs. Xiao treated her to a meal, and today she was inviting them back. Originally, she was invited to someone's house, so she should have returned the favor. However, their whereabouts had to be kept secret. While the house over there was vacant, she couldn't use Mrs. Yi's place. Mrs. Xiao should understand and wouldn't find fault with her.
In addition to Mrs. Xiao, the guests also included Mrs. Xiao's daughter, Mrs. Liao's two daughters and Ms. Qiao.
Mrs. Xiao has three daughters and two sons. Wang Jiazhi said with a smile on the phone: "I want all the daughters to come."
Mrs. Xiao brought her first two daughters with her, but didn't bring her youngest daughter, who was thirteen years old. Firstly, it would be awkward to have four people in the house at once, and secondly, the youngest daughter was too much older than them, and she would feel awkward inside.
Wang Jiazhi has been to this store several times, Mrs. Xiao is here for the second time, and the others have never been here.
When ordering, Mrs. Xiao said, "Last time Mrs. Liao invited us over, I wasn't very good at ordering. You can pick a few good ones."
With Mrs. Liao's two daughters present, Mrs. Xiao stopped talking. Wang Jiazhi had once hosted a dinner here, but Mrs. Xiao had been busy and didn't go. Mrs. Liao had intentionally chosen this place for a dinner, but after seeing the prices, she regretted it. So, the dishes she ordered... seeing her like that, naturally, they could only choose the cheaper ones, which was a bit awkward. Given Mrs. Liao's official position and her husband's extramarital affairs, he was reluctant to bring money home, so entertaining them was indeed a struggle. She was also very concerned about her reputation and didn't want to appear inferior, which made it even more difficult.
The two of them only ate out a few times a month, but whenever he came, the restaurant would always serve all their specialties, and she knew which ones were better.
She ordered a few dishes and then asked them to order a few more. They'd ordered a bit more today, so there was still quite a bit left. After dinner, they had a snack. The waiter said the new shaved ice was great, so Wang Jiazhi ordered the five-apricot shaved ice. It was delicious, drizzled with a sweet and sour apricot sauce and topped with five different kinds of dried and preserved apricots.
As she left the private room, Wang Jiazhi's eyes caught sight of the vast amount of leftovers on the table, and she felt a pang of guilt. Here, people kept a running tally for their meals, and at the end of the month, someone from their family would send over some money. She had no idea how much it would cost, but now, even treating guests every day wouldn't be a big deal. Just a bowl of shaved ice after dinner would have been an astronomical sum for her in the past. She sighed silently.
The rich have wine and meat, but the poor are freezing to death on the streets!
Prices are soaring now that ordinary people can spend all their money and still not be able to afford a meal there.
Mrs. Xiao offered to take Ms. Qiao and the Liao family's two daughters back in her car. Wang Jiazhi smiled and said, "We're going the same way. I'll take them back."
Mrs. Xiao only sent Ms. Qiao home. Actually, they weren't on the same route at all, and the two sisters' in-laws weren't very close. It wouldn't be nice to have to wait for the guests to see off three of them before going home in the hot weather after hosting them.
The younger sister of the Liao family lived closer, so I sent her off first, then her older sister. On the way, we inevitably talked about novels again. When we reached a place, Mrs. Liao's daughter said, "Put me down in front."
"Not yet."
"I don't want to go back. I'll take another look around."
"It's so hot, you should go home early."
Mrs. Liao's daughter got out of the car, and Wang Jiazhi asked the driver to drive back.
Wang Jiazhi leaned her head against the back of the seat, looking at the people and scenery outside the car window. Whether they were going in the same direction or the opposite direction as her, they all suddenly flew backwards and disappeared.
It was too hot, I was sweating and felt weak and sick.
She just stared out the window in a daze, and something from the past came to her mind again.
The day before her death, she went to Shuyu with her wives. She truly couldn't handle spicy food. Sichuan cuisine was both pungent and numbing, and she didn't understand why they loved it so much. She only felt the numbing and spicy flavor of the seasonings; the original flavors of the ingredients were completely lost. The spiciness stung her tongue, and no matter how hard she tried to endure it, she couldn't help but breathe heavily and drink water. It was always like this, like a dog.
When she returned to her room that day, she sat by the window in her high heels without changing her clothes. The curtains were always drawn in the room, so she couldn't see anything.
Sitting there, she recalled moving out of her aunt's house and checking into a hotel the next day. The waiter was very attentive in helping her carry her luggage. She was wearing high heels, and she always felt that her walk was too awkward. It had been a long time since she had worn such high heels, and she wore them for several days to get used to it. In fact, there was nothing wrong with her appearance and behavior, but she felt guilty, thinking that such a high-end place was not the right place for her.
After moving her things, she took out her wallet, opened it, hesitated for a moment, and took out a few bills to tip. The waiter smiled and thanked her repeatedly. She regretted it; it seemed she had given too much.
After the waiter went out and closed the door, she did not unpack her luggage or organize her things. She just walked around the room in a daze, and then sat on the bed and looked out the window. This was the tenth floor, and outside was a vast expanse of pale blue sky, and below the sky was a group of blurry light gray roofs.
Where was this place, and who was she? She was dazed for a long time, her mind blank, like a desolate ruin.
She didn't know how long she stayed like that; it was already getting dark outside. She was hesitant when she got into the elevator. The attendant inside asked her the floor number and pressed it for her.
When she got off the elevator, she was wearing high heels, a silk cheongsam, fashionable and beautiful curly hair, and exquisite makeup.
"Like a rich lady?"
She was thinking at this time.
As she walked from the elevator to the cafe, well-dressed men and women walked past her, brushing past her. She felt like a ragged ghost, somehow smuggled into the world of the upper class. It was only a few steps, but it felt like sleepwalking for ages.
After she found a seat, the waiter came over and handed her the menu. She opened it as if she didn't recognize the numbers on it. The simplest cream of mushroom soup that came with the meal cost more than her monthly living expenses. She tried to calm down and ordered steak, soup, and a cup of coffee.
After ordering, the waiter took the menu away, and she breathed a sigh of relief. A couple at a nearby table had just finished their meal and left. Someone came over to clear the table of leftovers, leaving a good amount of wine, meat, and seafood. She was deeply shocked by what she saw.
After the dishes arrived, the waiter came over twice to add water and serve food. Every time he came, she was worried that she looked strange and would be looked at strangely. In fact, the waiter thought she was so beautiful and deliberately came over to show his courtesy and look at her more.
After finishing her meal and returning to her room, she vomited everything she had eaten shortly after. She hadn't eaten meat in a long time, and suddenly eating beef made her stomach churn and feel extremely uncomfortable.
At the time, she thought, even Kuang Yumin and Old Wu simply forced her to learn and memorize things every day, fearing she might make a mistake. Even when she went out to buy clothes, someone followed her and paid for her. They had only just given her the money today. No one had ever given her money beforehand to buy food. Even if they had, she wouldn't have taken it. But they hadn't mentioned it.
Sitting like this stiffly in her high heels, her feet felt sore and tired, but she was too lazy to move and just continued to sit there.
Then she thought back to the dinner table earlier. She was afraid of embarrassing herself by eating spicy food, but she ordered almost everything spicy, leaving her with only the few non-spicy side dishes. When she mentioned she had never been to Shuyu, everyone at the table started laughing. That laughter was truly jarring.
Mrs. Yi said, "There are already two Hong Kong Shuyu restaurants. The Sichuan chefs and the Hong Kong chefs don't get along, and Hong Kong people can't stand spicy food."
It seems like I'm trying to make amends for her. If I really wanted to give her face, I shouldn't have mentioned it. There are two in Hong Kong, and I haven't been to either. I can't even afford to eat relief rice, so how can I afford to go to a place like that?
They would go out for a meal and lose more than a year's tuition by playing mahjong all night.
Even though she was losing money, she knew that none of the ladies looked down on her. She was indeed a person who deserved respect. Even this identity that deserved respect was fake.
At this moment, she felt extremely useless. Perhaps it was because she was stupid and had nothing but good looks that God tortured her like this. She was such a proud person, and yet such a thing happened to her. It was even more disgusting than a prostitute.
Thinking of this, tears started to flow down her face.
She had always believed that two people should be equal and evenly matched. Not only was she not good enough in the past, but she had also accomplished nothing with this person. Although she was abandoned by her father, who was worse than an animal, and many things were affected, this was not the only reason. It was a chaotic time, but Zhu Yuanzhang was so miserable that he had to beg for food, and he was still able to become emperor. She was not even at the point of begging, so why couldn't she make a way out? They all had no way out. If she was really better than others, why was she the same as everyone else, with no way out? In the final analysis, it was because she was incompetent.
I bravely pushed forward, foolishly ruining both my soul and my body. I taught, worked as a copyist, and worked as a temporary caregiver. My hands were raw from writing, and I walked for hours looking for work, even to get a piece of black bread. My feet were covered in blisters and calluses from all the walking, and every night I had to use nail clippers to cut the blisters and remove the calluses. I wrote my own work, always believing I had a natural talent. I submitted my work to numerous publications, but I could barely afford the postage stamps, and not a single one was accepted. I endured for so many years, and things only got worse. I struggled to the point where I couldn't even afford relief rice, and my perfectly healthy body collapsed. Yet, I still achieved nothing, and my situation only worsened. It was clear that I had a high opinion of myself, but no real talent.
Even though he'd reached this point, it took more than just an ordinary person to achieve this position. Back there, he held a very high position. Old Wu and Kuang Yumin were as bad as he was, even worse. She didn't believe they truly cared about the country and the people. If they could be given such an official position, they would have rushed over long ago. Listening to the jealousy in their voices, their hatred for him as a traitor wasn't real; their anger at his high position and generous salary was real.
After all, she came from a wealthy family, and it was only when her father took away all the money that she became poor. He came from such a poor family, yet he was able to achieve such amazing results in his youth. But she couldn't do that.
Not only are their statuses unequal, but their talents are also vastly different.
If she were a noble lady, even if she was stupid and foolish, he would still treat her as a pet. If he knew that I was just a dirty poor girl, he would not even look at me.
She didn't know how long she sat there that day. When her mother called her out to play mahjong, she realized it was already dark outside. When she stood up, her feet ached.
The next day, Mrs. Yi and Mrs. Ma mentioned that she had never been to Shu Yu. Although she was embarrassed, she was very glad that he was not there.
During the two years after she left, there was probably a sense of doomsday, and everyone in that circle was busy getting married.
Once, one of Mrs. Liang's daughters was getting married. He went over to show his face and was about to leave when he heard girls at a table not far away chattering about something.
"Her family didn't have much money to begin with. Her father ran a small business and with the little money he had, he sent his daughter to a senior high school."
"She was so famous back then. They said she always topped the school exams, but she was also beautiful, had a good temper, and could write beautifully in the "Slender Gold" style. Even the boys couldn't write as powerfully as she did. Hey! They praised her so highly that her desk was overflowing with love letters and gifts."
"She was even pretentious, saying she wanted to study hard and didn't want to date. I'm sure she regretted it later."
He had just indicated that he was leaving, but the bodyguard in front of him saw that he did not stand up and seemed to be listening to something carefully, so he did not dare to say anything and quietly retreated behind him.
"How poor is their family?"
"I heard her father was swindled by a friend, spending all the family money and leaving him in a mountain of debt. It seems he died while trying to find money, and within two years her mother also died. We all heard that she was still saying she wanted to study history in college and research Ming Dynasty history. She only attended high school for one year because a family crisis forced her to drop out and return home to study housekeeping."
"She must be regretting that she didn't agree to marry any of the many men pursuing her."
"She was still young at the time, and even if she agreed, it wasn't the right time for marriage. Seeing what happened in her family, who would want her?"
"I heard that several people wanted to marry her later, but she just refused."
"I heard someone say there was a middle-aged businessman whose wife had died. He wanted to marry her because she was beautiful, but she refused. There was another man, who ran a small business, but she also refused. She said she would rather work alone to support herself."
"It's all because I spoiled her back then. She's now so poor. If it weren't for her face, who would want her?"
"She has to find work on her own. She hasn't even graduated from high school, so how can she find a job? These days, many college students are soliciting business outside brothels, using the space there, and the brothels take a cut."
"How did he die? Did he really starve to death?"
"She might not have starved to death. Some say she died of illness. They say she couldn't find work for months. It was winter, and there was no fire in the house. She'd been dead for three or four days, but there wasn't any odor. The landlord came over and said he couldn't pay any more. When he went in, he found her lying on the bed, already stiff, her body all covered in the color of corpse blood."
"Stop it, it's too scary."
"There was nothing to eat at home, so some people said they died of starvation."
That table was full of friends of Mrs. Liang's daughter. They were all dressed up beautifully. None of them wore Chinese clothes, but Western clothes. They were eating cakes, biscuits and coffee while chatting happily.
"Whose cake is this? It's not soft enough. Not as good as the previous one."
"It's okay, their cream is delicious. The only delicious thing about that place before was the cocoa cookies."
"Those cookies are so bitter, fresh milk pudding is better..."
He didn't look over there, but stood up and left silently.
Wang Jiazhi once read an article criticizing the practice of killing women for military rations in ancient times. The writing was filled with righteous indignation and heartache, as if the author were about to burst out from between the lines and roar with curses. One could sense genuine emotional investment. The writing style seemed typical of a male author, but many female authors also share this style.
There's a passage that goes something like this: Those women had no distinctive features in the eyes of the butchers. The only distinctions were fat and thin, old and young. The flesh of the fat ones lasted longer, while the flesh of the thin ones lasted less. The flesh of the young was more tender, while the flesh of the old was tougher. To them, they were just pieces of flesh to be devoured. No one ever considered how many stunning beauties, beautiful women, gentle women, and charming women they devoured...
Wang Jiazhi felt that she, the two seniors, and the other girls like them who she didn't know about were all in the same boat. No one cared about their characteristics or ideas. They only cared about whether they could serve men well in bed and serve as pawns for their promotion.
In the end, the two of them only got one sentence from Old Wu: Not only were they killed, but they also had to give out a list of names.
I don’t know what Old Wu and others will say about me after I die, but you can’t spit out ivory from a dog’s mouth anyway.
After thinking about the past, the car was almost home.
It was scorching hot, and she remembered Mrs. Liao's daughter had disappeared in the blazing sun. She rushed home to shower, and when she came out, the maid brought her a glass of grape juice with ice cubes and a little white wine. She drank half of it in one gulp, feeling so comfortable and cool.
After sweating a lot and taking a shower, I felt very tired and took a nap with my child in my arms.
When he came back at night, she nestled in his arms and said, "There are so many things I don't understand. What if I make a fool of myself?"
"What's so particular about that?"
"Those ladies' particularities. You!"
"What's wrong?"
"You never told me..."
She stopped talking again, wishing to keep the secret of how to sober up.
He laughed and said, "What's the point of learning those pretentious things? If you hang out in that circle for a few days, you'll know everything. But even if you know everything, I'm afraid you'll find it boring and won't be so particular about it."
She hummed, and rested her head on his chest like a kitten, seeming to be lost in thought.
He said, "You can learn what they know in one go, but what you know is something many people will never be able to learn in their entire lives."
She was very happy when he said that, but she thought about it again.
"Um!"
He said helplessly and seriously: "Don't think about it elsewhere."
"I didn't!"
As we all know, once people are told that they have some thoughts that they should avoid, they will inevitably feel angry and embarrassed.
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