Chapter 97
He didn't come back for many days, but he took her out every two or three days.
Things aren't like they were back then. Back then, he kept me in a daze, trying to remember things, and struggling mentally. And I couldn't get through to him. I can't even imagine what it was like back then.
He whispered in her ear, "Not like the first time."
Her face flushed.
At the time, she was afraid he would notice. But it had been so long since we'd last met that it felt like the beginning. It was then that she realized it, and the pain was even worse.
But it also makes sense. The husband had a dancer and was having an affair with her. The two of them didn't get along, so naturally they hadn't been together for a long time. Otherwise, he wouldn't have found someone else outside. Wang Jiazhi had also carefully planned and considered it in the beginning.
Seeing her shy look, he thought to himself, "She's not a young girl who hasn't experienced anything, yet she's getting shy."
Wang Jiazhi felt sad again. Although she was young at the time and felt that the day was very far away, so long that she could not see the end, it must be romantic and beautiful.
Now she thought that even if it wasn't beautiful, it could be horrible. She would rather be raped by a bandit than live like that.
There should be a ritual, right? The impulse of love, the pain of being forced, or the helplessness of a loveless marriage. These are all rituals. But hers is so ridiculous.
"I'm just stupid!" She said sadly. She kept avoiding thinking about it, but once she did, she felt extremely uncomfortable.
Although I tried hard to control it, my eyes still turned red
Seeing her suddenly so sad, he kissed her, stroked her hair and back, and asked her to rest her head on his arm. This trick worked every time, and soon she fell asleep again.
Seeing her with tears in her eyes and a sad look on her face, curled up like a kitten and sleeping in his arms, he felt a little disappointed.
She was probably from a good family, and she was either forced into this situation or deceived. There were only two reasons. Falling into this abyss, unable to die or escape, she could only live a life worse than death.
As a young man, reading the "History of the Song Dynasty," he couldn't understand how Qin Hui, so fearless in his youth and determined to serve his country, could have become what he did. He thought of his youthful following of Mao Zedong, his idol, the most flawless and perfect man in his eyes. He aspired to emulate him, filling the sea like Jingwei and mending the sky with refined stone. Even if it took ten thousand years, he wouldn't fear death, only wishing to restore peace to the world. He had been so high-spirited back then, yet now he had become the person he despised and hated the most.
His idol changed, and so did he. He didn't know when, but there were things he completely understood. He wished he'd never understood them. It would have been nice to have died back then, so his life would have been settled.
He looked at the person in his arms again, who was panting like a kitten. She was so heartless, always falling asleep in his arms without any warning.
Now, instead of feeling sorry for her, he thought it would be better for her to die. What would she be doing alive? She would be abused like a whore and live in constant fear.
No one would treat her as a human being. When she lost her role as a chess piece, her death would only be more miserable. The death of a small chess piece, without even a ripple.
Perhaps it was the thought of this that made his heart beat faster. She woke up hazily and saw that he had his eyes closed. She knew that he couldn't be asleep and was just pretending to doze off.
When she woke up, he quickly opened his eyes. She said, "The herbal smell on you is gone."
"I don't drink it lately."
"That's good. You only need to take medicine when you're sick."
She leaned against his shoulder, suddenly remembering the herbal smell of the dormitory building. It was awful. Huangliju had been dead for four years. Sometimes she doubted the reality of the past. It felt not like a past life, but like a dream.
Who would have thought that she was in his arms again. She missed his warmth.
"This person will kill me one day," she thought to herself.
"What are you going back for?"
"Mrs. Yi has arranged for Mrs. Ma and Mrs. Liang to play cards at five o'clock."
"You guys don't get bored playing cards every day."
"What else can I do?"
"Yeah, what else can I do?"
She understood what he meant and bit his shoulder a few times.
He said, "You look like a kitten."
He didn't say anything else, but it was obvious that he hadn't said anything else.
"Then what?"
“But sometimes it’s a lot like your neighbor across the street.”
"I'm not your pet. Don't even think about tying me up at home. You can play with me when you're happy, and I won't come back when I'm not happy."
Her coquettish behavior made him laugh, but he couldn't bear to see her die. This little girl seemed to have walked out of the Book of Songs, but she was silly.
We had planned to have dinner here today, and they packed up and went there when the time came.
He poured her some wine, and seeing her drink it straight away, then frown, Lao Yi found it very amusing. After three years, she still didn't know how to sober up.
Wang Jiazhi saw his familiar expression and realized she had forgotten again. She had drunk it once with Zhou Minlin and the others, but nothing more since then.
I don't know how they are doing now, but they should be fine. Zhou Minlin's family is well-off, Xiao Shuang's family is also doing well, and they are both married, and they both love each other. They probably never dreamed that she would be in her current situation.
"You should live well for me," she thought to herself. Thinking back to the past, she felt it was all just normal back then, something she could never go back to. Everyone grows up and ages. She didn't know if she had grown up; perhaps she would still be just as foolish. But she wouldn't grow old, because she didn't have long to live.
She looked at the remaining wine in the glass and drank it in one gulp.
"As long as you are happy." She said to herself.
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