Chapter 27 Why can’t I endure the suffering in bed?
Yuntan is very sleepy.
But she didn't feel annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night, as Lu Wangshan served her very comfortably.
She was caught between reality and dreams, and felt the waves of the sea rushing towards her, gently wrapping her up.
Yuntan even had the illusion that he was getting smaller and smaller, turning into a baby. He was still in his mother's belly, wrapped in the warm amniotic fluid, feeling safe and relaxed all over.
But soon, the gentle sea water suddenly turned into huge waves.
Yun Tan grabbed Lu Wangshan's shoulders with her toes, and suddenly curled up hard. The blue veins on her white and thin instep were prominent, as if she had suffered great torture.
She whimpered and finally woke up from her dream under the huge tide. She grabbed his still half-wet hair, and the cold water droplets dripped down her waist. She was frozen, so she raised her body, but it only sent her vulnerability to the source of the chaos.
The kitten whimpered in an attempt to awaken its owner's sympathy.
Leo is like this too. When he was a child, he chewed several pairs of slippers during his teething period. When Lu Wangshan questioned him, he also whimpered and groaned like this, but it was useless. Lu Wangshan spanked him hard to teach him a lesson, but he also gave him a wooden stick specifically for grinding his teeth.
Lu Wangshan usually had more patience and compassion for the kitten, but not today.
Like little Leo, the kitten's whining was ineffective, and he was slapped a few times when he tried to resist, and was finally given a stick.
Yun Tan was held in his arms. She was afraid of this and felt that Lu Wangshan was strange today, so she kissed him ingratiatingly and asked politely, "What's wrong with you? Are you unhappy?"
Lu Wangshan was concentrating on it, but it was a bit difficult because he used some brute force, causing the kitten to arch its back and move closer to his arms, frowning and biting his lips.
"Should I be happy?" It would be too depressing to say such a thing at this time.
But his voice was very nice, and he was restrained, so his jaw was tightened, and his body was sticky with sweat from the cloud sandalwood, reflecting a gorgeous light under the light, which made him look sexy.
"Is it because of what I said?"
Yun Tan panted and spoke slowly to ease the discomfort under the huge waves. "I'm sorry, Lu Wangshan, I just think it's best if we just maintain the status quo, isn't it?"
"Maintain the status quo. What is our status quo?"
Yun Tan slowly raised his waist: "Well, this is the current situation."
The veins on Lu Wangshan's forehead were throbbing, but he still held her waist to prevent her from moving.
The kitten blinked blankly, looked at him, and said in a tone that was a bit coquettish: "What are you doing?"
Lu Wangshan didn't understand why she could always act so coquettishly at times like this, but was unwilling to trust and rely on him at other times.
"Why can't you just ask for my help frankly, Yuntan? We are obviously the ones who know each other best."
The kitten wouldn't listen to him and just wanted to tickle him.
She was stuck and felt very nervous but refused to move. How could there be such a bad person?
After a long while, he replied, "Lu Wangshan, the better you treat me, the more burdensome it will be for me."
"Why?"
"Because I'm used to being alone. I've always been alone. I don't like to owe others, but I always owe you the most."
She rested her head on Lu Wangshan's shoulder, enduring the excessive distension in her body, staying awake and explaining to the grumpy man.
"You owe me so much, so you want to leave, right?" Compared to Yun Tan's flushed face and sweaty body, Lu Wangshan seemed much calmer.
Yun Tan's mind was in a trance, and he unconsciously said the truth: "Well, there is one thing. If I don't leave, I will owe you more."
"So how did you spend those years alone in Milan?" Lu Wangshan suddenly asked.
Yuntan was caught off guard when asked about the past.
Her brain was not strong enough to support her recall at the moment.
So I spoke sporadically, speaking as I came to my mind: "The next year or two were pretty good, because I met some really nice roommates, had an internship at a good company, and won a lot of awards. Oh, my stomach, can you please come out a little first?"
Lu Wangshan ignored her request: "Elara?"
"Yes, and Jiang Zhier."
"What about before that?"
"Before, before, it's, um, that." Her eyes were red and she was a little incoherent. "My roommate wasn't very nice. He always brought men home, liked to have parties in the middle of the night, and didn't care about hygiene. The toilet was blocked several times, and he also put all kinds of messy and smelly things in the refrigerator."
"Why don't you change roommates?"
"No money."
Yun Tan said softly, "I couldn't find a part-time design job at the time, so I could only find low-paying hourly jobs at convenience stores or Chinese supermarkets. So, I lived in a shared apartment with six people, so the living conditions were definitely poor. There was nothing I could do about it."
"Isn't what I gave you before enough?"
Yuntan paused.
She knew that Lu Wangshan was referring to the jewelry and bags he had given her in the past, which she sold for money after going abroad.
After so many years, she still felt embarrassed by such a question. Her knees unconsciously pressed together, but she was slapped lightly again. Lu Wangshan said in a hoarse voice, "Don't move."
"It's enough." Yun Tan's cheeks were now flushed with shame as he said softly, "It's just that I can't bear to spend the money on accommodation."
Yun Tan still couldn't say it after all.
During the time they were together, Lu Wangshan was really generous, although Lu Wangshan never defined those gifts as "rewards". He didn't even buy them on purpose. He just thought of Yuntan when he saw it and bought it. They were not all luxury goods. When he went on business trips, he would also bring her various inexpensive gadgets, cultural and creative products, postcards, specialties, doll pendants, and even the black sand of Iceland's Diamond Beach and pine needles of the Chata Trail.
But in Yuntan's eyes, she sold those gifts, which was undoubtedly cashing in on the relationship and turning it into a shameful transaction of money and sex.
After going abroad, she used the money to pay tuition. The tuition for studying abroad is very expensive, not to mention the expensive design major.
But in fact, there was still a lot of money left, enough for her to rent a single apartment.
But Yuntan could overcome his shame and use the money to pay tuition, but he could never accept using the money to improve his living standards.
This would make her feel that she was really just trading money and sex with Lu Wangshan.
Later, Yuntan worked as a stock clerk in a Chinese supermarket near the school, and donated the remaining money to the domestic poverty alleviation fund in the name of "Mr. Lu".
"What else? Besides the bad roommates you met." Lu Wangshan asked.
"Also, um..." Yun Tan recalled, "Sometimes I got off work late, and on the way back to the apartment, I was harassed by a drunk homeless man. He tried to snatch my bag, and I tried to run, but he kept chasing me. Luckily, I ran into a policeman halfway."
Yun Tan seemed to have adapted to the foreign object in his body. He only moved his waist slightly, hugged Lu Wangshan's neck and spoke to him in a daze.
The darkness and the tide of love were eating away at the hard armor she had used to protect herself, revealing all her past experiences.
Lu Wangshan just listened as Yun Tan talked about how she was followed and robbed while studying abroad, how her speech level met the admission requirements but she still couldn't understand or speak clearly, and how her roommates were away during the Christmas break when she suddenly had a high fever, fell asleep and woke up in a daze. If she hadn't reduced the fever herself, she might have died in a foreign country.
She finally found an outlet to talk about the hardships she had experienced over the years, but she didn't notice that Lu Wangshan's face had become increasingly gloomy and darker.
He suddenly exerted force, and Yun Tan was caught off guard and screamed.
She was dissatisfied with Lu Wangshan's mischief and pinched his arm, but her muscular arm made it difficult to pinch him: "Be gentle, this is so annoying."
The delicate little kitten met the most unkind owner at the moment.
Lu Wangshan acted as if he didn't hear anything and even became more aggressive.
He was being reluctant with Yuntan. He felt sorry for her and was usually trying to restrain himself. But when Lu Wangshan was really ready to strike without leaving any room for her, Yuntan could not bear it.
Soon he surrendered while lying limply in his arms.
Begging for mercy doesn't work, and neither does pretending to be pitiful.
The messy, angry kitten scratched the culprit all over his back, but still not satisfied, it started biting the person with its teeth and claws.
He bit it tightly, as if he was going to fight to the death, but was easily released by a blow.
"Lu Wangshan, don't do this."
Her voice was hoarse, and she didn't know where the sudden anger came from. The surging waves almost drowned her, making it difficult for her to breathe.
She felt so uncomfortable that she wanted to cry. She bit his shoulder and sobbed, "Why don't you treat me well?"
Lu Wangshan pinched her cheeks with two fingers. He was clearly the culprit, but his eyes were red as if he had suffered a great injustice.
He asked in a low voice: "Am I not good enough for you, Yuntan?"
Yun Tan didn't understand the double meaning in his words and just shook her head in confusion. She cried without caring about her image: "It's not good, it's not good, not good at all, wuwu, don't be like this."
"Aren't you very hardworking? You would rather live like that abroad than ever think of coming back to me. In that case—"
Lu Wangshan felt distressed.
He didn't dare to think about what would happen if Yun Tan was chased by a drunk homeless man in a foreign country and didn't meet the police on the way?
I didn’t dare to think about what would happen if she had a high fever that Christmas and it never went away.
But he was also angry.
Being angry that she left him and lived such a miserable life was also a trampling on his sincerity.
He suddenly exerted force and whispered, "Why can't you bear the pain in bed?"
-
The next day, Yuntan stared at the sunlight coming in through the gap in the curtains for a long time.
My whole body felt like a machine that had been disassembled and reassembled. My back and waist ached, and my legs felt like they were filled with lead and I couldn't even lift them.
Lu Wangshan is such a beast.
What's wrong with you all of a sudden?
She continued to stare at the ceiling in a daze. It was a long time before she picked up her phone. It was already two o'clock in the afternoon.
“…”
This is too exaggerated.
How long did the nonsense last yesterday?
Yuntan sat up slowly. His legs hurt when they were pulled, and it was difficult for him to walk from the bed to the bathroom.
After washing up, she unscrewed the bottle of mineral water in the bedroom and drank the whole bottle in one breath, but it still didn't quench her thirst. Her throat was so dry that it felt like smoking. She drank half of the second bottle before she finally felt better.
Walking out of the bedroom and looking up, Yun Tan was caught off guard and saw Lu Wangshan in the living room.
She was stunned and just looked into Lu Wangshan's eyes.
The scenes of last night were forced into my mind, and they were as absurd as they could be.
Yuntan gritted his teeth, looked away and ignored him.
The chair legs scraped against the floor, and Lu Wangshan stood up: "Are you hungry? I'll go cook."
Yun Tan got up late, and Lu Wangshan had been waiting for him, and he hadn't had lunch yet.
Yun Tan opened the refrigerator, picked out an apple, took a crisp bite, and said without looking at him: "I won't eat what you cook."
"So what do you want to eat?"
"I'm ordering takeout." Yun Tan walked around him and opened the takeout app that he hadn't used for a long time.
Lu Wangshan paused for a moment, wanting to stop and say that takeout was unhygienic, but the words stopped at his lips.
Never mind, it’s just a meal, no big deal.
Yuntan picked for a long time but couldn't find anything, so she simply ordered a bowl of beef fried noodles, which was a sure thing, since she wasn't hungry anyway.
She vaguely wondered if last night's frenzy had hurt her stomach. After all, her lower abdomen had cramped several times and was still a little bloated and painful.
The takeaway arrived soon.
Of course, the beef fried noodles that cost more than 30 yuan in Beijing only have a few slices of beef.
Yun Tan brought the noodles to the dining table and ignored Lu Wangshan until he walked into the kitchen. Then Yun Tan secretly raised his eyes to look at his back.
I watched him take out some vegetables and eggs, wash them, slice the beef, then light the fire and stir-fry the shredded carrots, onions, and green peppers that I had prepared earlier, pour in light soy sauce and oyster sauce for seasoning, and finally pour in the beef and stir-fry evenly.
The air was immediately filled with fragrance.
Yun Tan finally couldn't help but ask, "What are you doing?"
"I haven't had lunch yet."
Yuntan was stunned.
Although Lu Wangshan's words seemed to be a way of playing the victim, she suddenly felt very sorry.
It was so late, she thought Lu Wangshan had already finished eating.
He has been cooking for her in various ways for so many days, how could she order takeout without taking him along?
Yun Tan explained quietly, "I didn't know you hadn't eaten yet."
Lu Wangshan looked back at her, walked to her side holding the handle of the pot, and scooped two large spoonfuls directly into her bowl of noodles.
Yun Tan paused for a moment before realizing that Lu Wangshan was making a topping for her noodles.
The noodles that were just ordinary suddenly became colorful, fragrant and delicious, with vegetables, meat and eggs, and balanced nutrition.
Then he went into the kitchen, cooked himself a pot of plain noodles, poured the remaining beef topping into it and mixed it well, then walked over and sat down opposite Yun Tan.
Only then did Yun Tan notice the several scratches on his face and neck.
Lu Wangshan's skin is fair to begin with. If he doesn't pay attention to sun protection in the summer, he will get tanned. In winter, his skin will turn white again, so the scratches are particularly obvious.
Yuntan pursed her lips, and seeing his silence, she suddenly became angry and kicked him under the table.
"You're not going to say anything?"
Lu Wangshan looked up.
Yun Tan kicked him again, "Why were you so crazy yesterday?"
"I'm sorry." He apologized bluntly. "Does it still hurt?"
Yun Tan bit into the beef made by Lu Wangshan, which was obviously thicker and chewier than the takeout beef, and had a richer taste.
After eating the delicious food, my hunger was finally aroused and my mood finally improved.
She snorted and said casually, "Such an inconsiderate sex partner is easy to replace."
As soon as he finished speaking, he noticed that Lu Wangshan's gaze on him had become much sharper. Yun Tan was inexplicably afraid that the man in front of him would go crazy again. He lowered his head and poked at the noodles and changed his words: "I was just, just joking, ah."
The two of them quickly finished their late lunch.
Yun Tan wanted to clean up, but Lu Wangshan stopped him: "You sit down."
He threw away Yuntan's takeout bag and washed the remaining pots, bowls and chopsticks.
Yun Tan sat at the dining table and asked, "Why didn't you go to work today?"
"I'm afraid you'll be gone when I get back from work."
“…”
Yun Tan blinked and spoke cautiously: "Actually, there's no need for us to live together every day."
She had actually been thinking about this for a long time, but she hadn't found the opportunity to bring it up before.
Lu Wangshan lived here with her, and the commute to work was much longer every day. Leo's quality of life declined greatly as he lost the large lawn.
"We can make an appointment. I can come to your place on the weekend. This way it will be more convenient for you to commute to get off work, and Leo will have more space to move around." Yun Tan asked, "What do you think?"
"Not very good." Lu Wangshan refused too bluntly.
“…”
"If Leo goes back to the Lu residence now and can't see you, he might develop separation anxiety again."
Lu Wangshan knew very well how to control Yun Tan.
Yun Tan uttered an "Ah" and touched Leo's head, who was lying at his feet: "Is that so?"
Lu Wangshan washed the pots and pans, washed his hands with hand sanitizer, and then disinfected them with alcohol.
Then he suddenly picked up Yuntan and walked towards the bedroom.
Yun Tan was startled, thinking that this man was going crazy again for no apparent reason: "What are you doing, Lu Wangshan? You can't do it now. If you do it again, I will die."
"Don't say that."
Lu Wangshan thought her words were unlucky and said, "No, I'm just checking."
He checked it when he got up in the morning, but Yuntan was still asleep and couldn't apply the ointment.
He placed the cloud sandalwood at the end of the bed, with a pillow underneath. He squatted down and observed it carefully, then frowned. The redness and swelling had not subsided at all, and it looked very pitiful.
He couldn't help but kissed her lovingly.
Yun Tan was startled and put his foot on his shoulder, ready to kick him out if he made any further move.
Fortunately, Lu Wangshan stopped in time, unscrewed the ointment and applied it carefully: "If it still hurts at night, tell me."
Yun Tan looked away awkwardly: "Oh."
He was still squatting at the end of the bed. Yun Tan crossed his legs and hooked his pants around his waist to put them back on: "Get up."
Lu Wangshan stood up, but knelt on one knee on the bed and fell down holding Yun Tan.
He kissed her carefully and gently, which was very different from the madness of last night.
He held the kitten's soft, cool lips in his mouth and asked in a low voice, "If someone bullies you in the future, tell me immediately, okay?"
The kitten traced the scratches on his cheek with her fingertips and couldn't help asking, "Oh, the person who bullied me is called Lu Wangshan. What are you going to do with him?"
Lu Wangshan smiled.
This was probably the first time he had laughed in days.
"How about punishing him by not letting him touch you for a week?"
Yun Tan snorted and pushed him away: "What kind of punishment is this?"
"So what do you want to do?"
"Cut it off to rule it forever."
Lu Wangshan chuckled: "You are reluctant to give it up."
Yun Tan raised an eyebrow: "There are so many men in the world."
Lu Wangshan pressed down, and the 188cm tall man leaned in the woman's arms somewhat obediently, reaching out to pinch her face: "Can you please stop making me angry all the time?"
Yuntan was almost suffocating under his pressure and pushed him.
"Xiao Tan." Lu Wangshan suddenly called out.
Yun Tan stopped pushing him: "Hmm?"
"I don't want to see you suffer. I hope you can be happy every day, no matter what our relationship is."
Lu Wangshan reflected on himself and realized that he was four years older than Yuntan and should be more mature and tolerant than her. He had no right to lose his temper with her because of her concealment and self-binding.
"So, even if we're just friends with benefits, I hope you can tell me if you encounter something unhappy. If you don't want me to intervene, I won't interfere, but you have to let me know, okay?"
Yun Tan suddenly felt that he probably knew the real reason why Lu Wangshan was angry yesterday.
I also understood where his words "Why can't I bear the pain in bed" came from.
She felt her heart was soft and every corner of her was taken care of carefully and meticulously.
She said "hmm" softly and held Lu Wangshan's hand.
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The author has something to say: After a lot of heavy breathing, it is good for communication and conversation [Huang Xin]
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