A black car travels through the city late at night.
The two people in the car didn't speak again and returned home one after another.
Yan Xiuzhi walked in first and turned on the light. Zhou Ziyi, who was following behind him, suddenly saw a bright light in front of his eyes.
For some reason, Zhou Ziyi suddenly remembered the scene when he came back from the hospital last time.
It was the same journey home, and the same sudden warmth all over my body, but this time, there was a person’s back in front of me.
And the light he turned on.
Zhou Ziyi seemed to be dazzled by the light, or as if the alcohol had taken over again. He closed his eyes, and the message sent by Tang Shirong flashed through his mind.
——Yan Xiuzhi’s childhood sweetheart is back.
——Will I not be able to step into this place after a while?
Stay away from the person in front of you, stay out of his reach, and watch him go out with other people in various news and gossips.
Yan Xiuji would also pick up that person late at night, right? Of course he would, he is such a considerate person who cares about others.
His kindness is like an invisible net or a warm spring, making it difficult for those who get close to escape and they keep falling into it.
But now, Zhou Ziyi felt that he was going to be kicked out.
The warmth that was hard to obtain was forcibly stripped away, and we were returned to the freezing cold.
Zhou Ziyi stood in the warm light of the entrance, thinking about the coming severe cold, and murmured blankly: "No one will be so nice to me again..."
Yan Xiuji turned around and said, "It will happen."
Zhou Ziyi was stunned for a moment.
He thought he spoke quietly, but in fact, his drunkenness made him misjudge and Yan Xiuzhi heard everything.
Yan Xiuzhi thought Zhou Ziyi was drunk and talking nonsense, but he subconsciously turned around and replied.
Zhou Ziyi looked at him and felt that this conversation was particularly unreal and floating, like clouds in the sky, like a drunken imagination. The young man laughed at himself, leaned his shoulders against the wall, and looked at the man: "I have so much debt, I will be divorced in the future, and I have a sick relative. Who is willing to wade into this muddy water?"
He spoke very slowly, saying one sentence at a time as he thought of a part, but Yan Xiuzhi listened quietly to the end.
"...You don't have to underestimate yourself." Yan Xiuji said, "If I say there will be, then there will be."
Zhou Ziyi blinked slowly and sneered: "You mean, the person who likes this face?"
Yan Xiuji didn't react to the meaning of this sentence for a moment.
"Ah, but if you make a living by your looks, don't you have to be very obedient?" Zhou Ziyi suddenly realized, "Boss Yan is a decent person, he probably doesn't understand these things. But I guess, you have to be obedient enough and know how to please others..."
He spoke incoherently, but Yan Xiuzhi began to understand.
Then a voice rose in Yan Xiuji's heart: How could he do that? !
——Even if I spent so much money and gave him so much, I would not let him do those things...
——How dare others? !
"I'm not talking about those things." Yan Xiuji couldn't help but refute, "I'm talking about people who treat you sincerely."
Zhou Ziyi looked into his eyes and saw his serious expression. He suddenly laughed, not knowing what he was thinking of.
"Coo me again."
"Cheer you? When did I ever say anything to coax you?" Yan Xiuji looked into his eyes. "The words I said and the promises I made were all true. They were never lies."
Zhou Ziyi stared at him: "Do you have someone you like? Have you ever loved anyone? Have you ever thought about spending your life with someone?"
Yan Xiuji frowned.
Zhou Ziyi's series of questions came too suddenly, and with the smell of alcohol on him, they were reckless and offensive. Yan Xiuji felt that something very private in his heart was stepped on, but he didn't have time to think about what it was, so he subconsciously replied: "No."
Zhou Ziyi tilted his head: "Really?"
"real."
"Haha..." Zhou Ziyi squinted his eyes and laughed a few times. When he opened his eyes again, there seemed to be a meaningful light in his eyes, "You just said that you would never lie to me."
——But aren’t you cheating?
Yan Xiuji didn't understand what he was thinking, and didn't want to get entangled with a drunk guy any longer, so he continued, "So, what I said..."
Zhou Ziyi suddenly approached and interrupted Yan Xiuzhi's words.
——Then I’ll lie to you too.
The young man grabbed the man's arm and looked up at him: "Yan Xiuji, I'm drunk."
"What……"
Zhou Ziyi kissed her.
“……!”
Yan Xiuji, he froze.
Their lips touched, the smell of alcohol lingered between his lips and nose, and he lost his mind and did not immediately push away the young man who was clinging to him. He just couldn't help but flashed the scene of the two kissing in the past in his mind.
The first time was at the wedding, when Yan Xiuji took the initiative to kiss Zhou Ziyi.
At that time, he was impulsive and took the initiative to fight back. Looking back now, he has no regrets, only the stunned expression of the young man in the white suit.
The second time, Zhou Ziyi was drunk and kissed me while talking nonsense.
To be precise, Zhou Ziyi only kissed the corner of his mouth, which was not really a kiss. But the next day, Yan Xiuji discovered that this guy had completely forgotten about it.
The third time, Zhou Ziyi was kissed by someone else, and he came back angry, so he kissed her directly.
Thinking about it now, it was clearly Zhou Ziyi who rashly did something strange, but it was Yan Xiuzhi who "took the initiative to ease the relationship" in the end.
——This time...are you drunk again?
In just a few seconds, Yan Xiuji came back to his senses and suddenly saw the water droplets passing through Zhou Ziyi's face.
...crying again?
Yan Xiuji even forgot how long this kiss lasted, it was completely different from the previous light kiss. He saw Zhou Ziyi closing his eyes, frowning slightly, and the crystal water kept sliding down his cheeks. Even so, Zhou Ziyi still held him tightly and kissed him, as if he wanted to get closer.
Yan Xiuzhi sighed inwardly.
He himself didn't know what he was thinking. Maybe he was thinking nothing, or maybe he was controlled by some kind of consciousness. Anyway... he opened his lips.
Zhou Ziyi suddenly opened his eyes.
He felt Yan Xiuji's indulgence, and his eyes became unbelievable. He even stepped back a little, away from the close lips, and stared at Yan Xiuji closely.
Yan Xiuzhi just looked at him and suddenly two tears rolled out of his widened brown pupils.
"you……"
As soon as the man said a word, Zhou Ziyi suddenly exerted force, grabbed his collar and pressed him against the wall!
The young man raised one hand, covered Yan Xiuzhi's eyes, and kissed him again.
It was a real kiss.
Zhou Ziyi didn't bother to think about why, or what would happen in the future. He just used his body to imprison the other person, not letting him escape, and kissed him almost sacrificially. Zhou Ziyi didn't dare to say a word, but he really couldn't control himself. He was tense all over, gathering all his emotions on the tip of his tongue, transmitting them violently, and shouting quietly.
The thought "it's over" kept ringing in his mind, but his body was reluctant to let go of the other person.
Like a wounded beast, he did not think about the future but fought desperately towards death.
Zhou Ziyi desperately clung to Yan Xiuji, and even felt that a kiss was not enough to express her feelings.
The mixed emotions blew away all his rationality. He didn't have the time to think about why Yan Xiuji cooperated, but only thought about what else he could do. He lowered the hand that was covering Yan Xiuji's eyes and grabbed the man's belt with his nimble fingertips.
Zhou Ziyi felt like he was going crazy.
He actually tried to please someone in this way, and at the moment when he was pushing himself into the abyss, he tried to leave a trace in such a dirty way.
Yan Xiuzhi was also shocked.
He grabbed Zhou Ziyi's wrist, opened his eyes and frowned at the young man: "Zhou Ziyi, you...!"
"Shh..." Zhou Ziyi held his hand, lifted it up, and kissed his fingertips, "I'm drunk, Yan Xiuji, I'm drunk..."
The young man's tears fell on Yan Xiuzhi's fingers.
This was the second time, but Yan Xiu Ji felt it was even hotter than last time, and his fingers moved unconsciously.
Zhou Ziyi took the opportunity to come close to him again, kissed him, and covered his eyes with his other hand: "Don't think about who I am, don't think about it."
In the darkness, Yan Xiuji heard his voice, hoarse and suppressed crying: "...I'm sorry..."
The wall behind me was cold.
Zhou Ziyi's fingertips seemed to be gathering flames.
…
***
That night, Yan Xiuzhi lay in bed alone, unable to sleep until dawn.
He can't sleep.
As long as he closed his eyes, Zhou Ziyi's voice would ring in his ears, as if he was still lying beside Yan Xiu Ji, as if his hands were still covering Yan Xiu Ji's eyes, and as if his lips were still lingering at the corners of Yan Xiu Ji's mouth.
It seems like I'm caught up in that heat again.
——This is ridiculous…
Yan Xiuji felt that everything that happened tonight was like a dream, but the real feeling, as long as he recalled it, he seemed to be able to return to that time. Those scenes were like a movie, from Zhou Ziyi saying "No one will treat me like this again", to him saying "I'm sorry" and stumbling back to the room. Yan Xiuji seemed to be able to remember every detail.
Moreover, Yan Xiuzhi felt that what was truly absurd was not Zhou Ziyi.
Not the young man's kiss.
Not his obvious lies.
Not even the inexplicable intimacy that had occurred tonight.
Yan Xiuzhi felt that the one who was truly ridiculous... was himself.
——I’m not drunk.
——I can refuse.
——I can resist.
——I am taller and stronger than Zhou Ziyi...
However, such a normal, tall, healthy man allowed another man to get close to him, kiss him, and even help him... do extremely intimate things.
Yan Xiuzhi felt like he was simply crazy.
——Whether Zhou Ziyi was drunk or not, he was indeed drunk and impulsive, but was I drunk too? !
Yan Xiuzhi couldn't even find a reason to explain his behavior.
Is he the kind of person who accepts everything, no matter what the food is? No!
Then why didn't he push Zhou Ziyi away?
When he was surprised, why didn't he stop the other person's behavior? Why didn't he question the other person's recklessness? Why couldn't he even take a step back?
Even now that he was alone, Yan Xiuzhi still couldn't recall what he was thinking at that time.
Because when he thought about it, his mind became confused.
He forced himself to be calm, thinking about those questions one by one, and only answering them with "yes" or "no". A long time ago, when he was about to make an important decision but was still hesitating, he would use this method to examine his heart. However, he matured early and soon had a more rational logical analysis ability, so this method was abandoned for a long time.
However, at the moment, it is not something that can be solved simply by "rational thinking".
Perhaps these black-and-white answers will give him some guidance.
Yan Xiuzhi looked at the ceiling in the dark and asked himself silently.
—Do I hate him now? No.
—Do I hate him now? No.
—Should I terminate the contract immediately and keep him out of my sight? ...No.
The third "no" was not the answer Yan Xiuji chose in his hesitation. Instead, when the answer immediately came to his mind, he thought about it for a few seconds before confirming the answer.
But he wasn't done with his self-questioning.
He asked himself: Do I regret what happened?
This was a difficult question to answer. He couldn't tell whether he would regret it or not, so he had to choose another question.
——If I had to do it again, would I choose to push him away?
This is also a...difficult question to answer.
His reason told him that this matter required careful choice; however, his emotion was laughing at his escape, and a clear word gradually emerged in his mind.
—If you can push him away, you can do it this time, so why think about doing it again?
——Then why didn’t you push him away this time?
Yan Xiuji forced himself to recall the past, looking for the reason why he did not take action from the clues. When he thought of Zhou Ziyi's tears, he felt that they were like invisible threads that bound him and made him unable to resist any action of Zhou Ziyi.
——But why didn’t you dodge his kiss before he started crying?
——Why open your mouth and give him hope?
——Why did you even respond to him later?
Yan Xiuji touched his lips unconsciously, and suddenly realized that the answer had been there from the beginning. It had even been there before Zhou Ziyi kissed him and asked him those inexplicable questions.
It's just that he turned a blind eye and was unwilling to admit it.
Unwilling to admit that he had understood something.
Unwilling to admit that he had responded to something.
"Really, so stupid..."
There was a sigh, but I didn't know who said it.
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