Chapter 24 "Like"
"I'm fine, don't worry about me. I'll just lie down for a while and then I'll be gone."
Thinking of this, Yang Yan felt warm in his heart.
He went to the Ministry of Justice this afternoon to get a whip. Twenty lashes left the skin and flesh on his back torn. When he came back, he changed his clothes and took a shower, and found that Ji Changqing and his wife were still there. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of them, nor did he want to scare Chai Heng or make her feel that he was hypocritically coercing her to accept his indulgence of Xue Ruyue and Liang Yuanjing a few days ago, so he dared to come here secretly when the lights were turned off late at night.
When Chai Heng heard him say that he was fine, she expressed doubt.
The smell of blood couldn't be fake, but as long as he didn't die, it wasn't something she needed to worry about.
So, she lay back down again. After about an incense stick of time, she heard some movement beside her. It must be the person getting up and rolling back to where he belonged.
Early the next morning, Yang Yan did not change his clothes in the west wing but went to the study.
He leaned his hands on the table in the study while Zhou Jiu tore the blood-soaked shirt off his back. He gritted his teeth and endured it, sweating profusely, but still managed to get a few pieces of blood and flesh on his body.
"Are you still going to court today?"
Putting the bloody clothes aside, Zhou Jiu sighed in his heart, "It hurts so much," and couldn't help but ask Yang Yan.
Yang Yan's brows were already covered with cold sweat. After a moment's pause, he said, "I want to go."
The situation at court was complex. The battle in the Western Rong region had only just concluded, and the court officials were once again focused on the succession struggle. In this life, everything seemed to be progressing more rapidly than in the past. In his previous life, the old emperor would yearly pray to the gods, appearing to be nearing death, though in reality, he endured for more than a decade. But in this life, he looked even older than before.
Although the crown prince is the eldest son, he has a violent temper and is ambitious. If the country is handed over to him, the Great Qi will surely perish within ten years.
In the past, his mentor Chu Mingjing had always thought of retiring from the cabinet and living as an idler in the countryside. But in this life, for some reason, he also got involved, just to protect the crown prince, which made Yang Yan very confused.
But no matter whether you can figure it out or not, you have to do it.
"Sir, your wound will bleed if you go up."
Yang Yan didn't care: "Then put on a few more layers of bandages."
Zhou Jiu knew that the whippings he had received in Xirong were far more severe than the ones he had received yesterday. He was usually able to endure it and was still quite strong, but when he saw the scarred back, he still gasped.
If you don't seek death, you won't die.
Zhou Jiu had guessed that the day Chai Heng would ignore him had long been since he and Chai Heng returned from Xirong. Seeing his master's constant stubbornness, he had warned him to be more discerning about his feelings. Unfortunately, Yang Yan hadn't listened. Now that things had developed to this point, he could sense that Yang Yan wanted to keep Chai Heng, but his approach still didn't seem right.
Who in the world would fall in love with someone who always bullies and locks themselves up?
"Sir, is the gate of Fuyuan still not open today?" He asked tentatively while carefully tying the bandage on Yang Yan's back muscles.
"You can't keep the lady in there forever, sir. Don't you think the way the lady looks at you right now is a little strange?"
Zhou Jiu kindly reminded again.
Yang Yan disagreed: "Really?"
Chai Heng was clearly still worried about his life yesterday. Even if the look in his eyes seemed off, it was only because she was still angry. It would all be fine in a few days.
Of course.
Zhou Jiu said tactfully, "Madam is a human being, not a heartless creature. You gave her a beating and then locked her up, not allowing her to leave. Everyone has their own thoughts. She occasionally speaks to you obediently, but that's only because she doesn't know when you'll do something to hurt her again."
When he said this, Yang Yan suddenly remembered the day when Chai Heng slapped him and his hand was shaking slightly.
A strange feeling flashed through his mind, but he quickly thought that she just hadn't recovered yet.
"Is breakfast ready?" he asked suddenly.
Zhou Jiu said: "The small kitchen should be ready."
"Have someone bring it to the east wing of Fuyuan. I will have dinner with my wife." Yang Yan said.
Zhou Jiu thought, "Just let him rest. I finally got a little more sleep, but now I have to get up to deal with you." But he still said "yes".
Chai Heng woke up bright and early today. She usually arrived early for duty at the Beijing Guards, so she couldn't sleep today. She sat up early. Yesterday, she had been lying down to recuperate, but today, walking was no problem. As long as she didn't disturb the wound on her back too much, everything would be fine.
In her previous life, when Yang Yan locked her up in Fuyuan, she would always climb out from the wall of the back garden. The wall there was shorter than the others, and she had just gone to check again, and she didn't know when Yang Yan had raised the wall higher.
After inspecting the courtyard wall, Xiangqiao came from the small kitchen, bringing breakfast and saying Yang Yan was coming. She sat at the table, waiting for him. When she saw him, she noticed his gait was a little stiff, his back tense and straight, as if he were injured. But his expression remained unchanged, his deadpan expression unchanged for a thousand years.
"Eat more."
"Drink the medicine after you finish eating."
Chai Heng nodded and took a few bites of the pancake Chen Lianyi had brought. Although she disliked him, there was no need to be hard on her own body.
"Xue Ruyue came to me yesterday to talk about her brother. Don't misunderstand." Yang Yan handed her the bowl full of medicine.
He had been too lazy to explain these things before, thinking they were trivial matters. Besides, there was really nothing between him and Xue Ruyue, so there was no need to talk about them. But now, he realized that even the smallest misunderstanding needed to be explained. Otherwise, in Chai Heng's mind, he and Xue Ruyue would always be entangled.
Chai Heng drank the bowl of bitter and astringent medicine in one gulp without caring. When she swallowed the medicine, it was just like she swallowed the grievances in the past ten years. She just swallowed it and it was over.
"Why are you telling me this?"
Unexpected answer.
Yang Yan put down the bowl and chopsticks in his hand, his face solemn: "Why am I telling you this?"
"How should I know?" Chai Heng didn't want to argue with him. She was afraid that she would say something that Yang Yan didn't like to hear, and then she didn't know what he would do.
She didn't say anything, and Yang Yan just looked at her. The two of them were in a stalemate. Chai Heng's scalp was numb from his gaze, and she finally couldn't help but sigh:
"You don't think I'd be stupid enough to provoke her again, so you're warning me again." She said, feeling absurd. "Don't worry, I know my own limitations. I'll never make a mistake like this again."
"What do you know?" Yang Yan stared at her closely.
"I know that when you care about someone, they're the apple of your eye. When you don't care about them, they're just dirt under your feet." Chai Heng put down the medicine bowl in his hand, paused, and said, "Yang Yan, to you, I'm nothing more than dirt under your feet, or a pet. You can coax me when I'm happy, and beat me when I'm unhappy. Why would I bother with Xue Ruyue for no reason?"
After waking up, he spoke more fluently.
She had a dream last night, and actually dreamed about some things from her previous life.
She dreamed that she had just left Furong Mountain, returned to Chai Mansion, and went to Nanyang Academy to study. Because she had never read the books in the academy, her answers to the teacher's questions were always shocking.
The academy's teacher was very cruel and would often hit people with a wooden board. Yang Yan would always take the punishment for her for various reasons, kneeling in the academy's hall, his hands always swollen and red from being beaten.
After they got married, her mother would come to the mansion every now and then to find fault with her, hoping that she would become a good person who could manage the household. If she found that she did something wrong, she would punish her by making her copy books until the next morning. Every time, Yang Yan would mock her and say that she deserved it. But after a while, she found that her mother suddenly stopped coming.
The final battle between Master and his wife and the Western Rong was a difficult one. In their old age, they nearly lost that battle. Worried about them, she secretly went to the Western Rong battlefield, sneaking in as a small soldier, but she never got to see their two commanders. But after being shot by an arrow and buried in the snow for three days and three nights, and thought to be near death, it was Yang Yan who dug her out.
He didn't know how far he had walked, how many times he had fallen, or how many corpses he had turned over.
Her usually clean white clothes were now stained, and her finger joints were covered in blood. When she was dug out of the snow, her eyes were bloodshot. It was the first time she had seen the usually calm Yang Yan lose his composure like that. He gritted his teeth and asked her, "Do you have no family to take care of?"
In her dreams, Yang Yan sometimes showed the young boy standing in front of her, protecting her, and sometimes showed the boy who was confronting her and wishing her dead.
She used to always remember the good times he had, thinking that a person could hold a grudge, but not just remember the bad things and forget the good things about him. So she always forgave him.
But think about it now.
People always have preferences.
When he was nice to her, he might be even nicer to Xue Ruyue.
She didn't want to be a substitute, she needed someone who loved her wholeheartedly. She didn't need a man who treated her like an object, calling her when he wanted and dismissing her when he wanted.
"If I was thinking about Xue Ruyue, why would I lock you up here? Am I a lunatic?" Yang Yan couldn't help but raise his voice, but tried his best to control his temper.
"Maybe."
Chai Heng thought, who can say for sure then?
Her ambiguous attitude was something Yang Yan had never seen before. He would rather she attacked him out of dissatisfaction than to see her like this.
This made him always feel that after all the twists and turns, she would still leave him.
He felt a sense of powerlessness in his heart.
But soon, he adjusted himself.
"What do you want to do? I will agree to everything except returning to the courtyard outside Beijing and not letting me appear in front of you."
Chai Heng said, "Then I will return to the Jingwei Division."
She couldn't lie here forever. She felt that as long as she didn't move too much, her back wouldn't hurt that much.
"good."
Yang Yan's eyes were heavy. "But you still have to go back to the Marquis' Mansion at night. I'll have Zhou Jiu send someone to pick you up between the end and start of your shift. You have to be back before the hour of You. If you don't come back before the hour of You, I'll go to the Jingwei Division to look for you myself."
"There's one more thing you have to promise me."
"What?"
"These days, as the New Year approaches, I don't want to argue with you. Let's just live well."
Live a good life.
How can she live well with him?
Chai Heng's inner mockery deepened, but she knew that this was already his biggest concession, so she nodded: "Okay."
If he could let her out without locking her up, at least she could get some fresh air.
*
Chai Heng knew that she wouldn't be able to accomplish anything significant if she returned to the Jingwei Division. With only a few days left, she wouldn't be able to help Cui Ru much, but being away from the Marquis' Mansion and away from Yang Yan was the best thing in the world for her.
As the New Year approaches, every household becomes busy. Some put up couplets on their door doors, and some hang peach charms because they have returned home after recovering from their injuries.
On the first day of her reinstatement, Cui Rushi chose the easiest job for Chai Heng, asking her to use a wooden stick to scrape off the rice paste that was originally used to stick the door couplets on the iron gate of the Beijing Guards.
"Ah Heng, you don't know. Just two days after you were injured, that Liang guy sent people to our Jingwei Division and brought a lot of gifts to apologize. It's like he's become a different person."
"Besides this, he also gave our company eighty taels of silver, saying that it was his own money and was to be used as our public funds for next year."
Qian Xiaoqi stood on a chair and hung red lanterns on the gate. As he did so, he sighed and lamented how quickly people changed their expressions.
Chai Heng didn't know why Liang Yuanjing suddenly became like this, but he didn't think much about it. He just thought that he might have changed his personality and wanted to be a good official. He turned around and continued to scrape the door with the wooden stick.
Because the office had been quiet recently, it was the end of the year, and he had received his bonus recently, Cui Rushi generously bought half a pig from his uncle, a pork seller, to prepare a whole pig feast for the people in the office.
He and his wife worked from morning till afternoon, and when the shift was about to end, he asked Chai Heng if she wanted to stay. Chai Heng thought about what Yang Yan had said to her, was silent for a while, and then she agreed without thinking.
The whole pig banquet tasted just so-so, but the atmosphere was great.
Chai Heng sat in a place not too far from the center, eating roasted pork with Old Yang. She listened quietly to the occasional funny jokes from Qian Xiaoqi and Cui Rushi.
The sky was already dark, and stars appeared in the sky.
It was very late, but no one showed any intention of leaving.
Cui Rushi was drunk. He walked up to Chai Heng, patted her shoulder, and said cheerfully, "Heng, my Dalang is a handsome and ambitious man. He passed the imperial examination this year. You've met him before. He likes you very much. I wonder if you like him as well."
When people are drunk, they can say anything.
Chai Heng raised her head and saw Yang Yan, who had appeared outside the door at some point, looking at her, as if waiting for her answer.
Chai Heng actually didn't remember what his Dalang looked like, but as if he hadn't seen Yang Yan, he said inexplicably, "I like him."
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