Chapter 2309: Love that is too deliberate is not love
Ling Ying came to Ah Fei and wanted to tell him, "Can you please not leave? Can you please not break up? The probation period hasn't ended yet. At least give her a little more time..."
But the words came to my lips, but I couldn't say them.
It feels so humble. When has she ever asked others to love her?
This is not her style at all.
She has always been like this: If you don’t love me, I won’t love you either!
So I wanted to lash out at him again. Fine, let's break up, who's afraid of who? Think about it? No need to think about it, break up now!
But she couldn't say it out loud, because she knew that if she did that she would just lose this person completely.
But she didn't want to lose Ah Fei.
Then you can't be willful and throw tantrums like a child.
"Anything else?" Ah Fei confirmed with her again.
Ling Ying bit her lip and shook her head at him: "Just... send me a message when you arrive."
"Um."
The elevator arrived, Ah Fei walked in and pressed the door button, "I'm leaving, you're wearing too little, go back quickly."
Ling Ying took a step forward and said, "I'll wait for you to come back."
But before Ah Fei could respond, the elevator door closed.
Facing the cold metal door, she lowered her head in frustration and returned home dejectedly.
I sat in the dining room for a while, then went to the living room and sat for a while.
Ah Fei was going to North City by plane. When he thought about the plane, he panicked and wanted to send him a message to ask if he could take the train instead, but he picked up the phone and put it down again.
Qiao Qingze's plane crash left her with a psychological trauma, but this was her own problem, and she couldn't ask others to live the way she wanted.
So I forced myself not to think about Ah Fei. I looked at the time and it was almost time for cooking class.
She went to the cloakroom to change into her going-out clothes.
However, after entering the cloakroom, he stared at Ah Fei's clothes again.
I've moved here for a few days now, and I go in and out of this cloakroom every day, but I've never taken a close look at his clothes.
His clothes are monotonous in color and simple in style. He will buy two or three of the same piece of clothing. It can be seen that he is a person who is afraid of trouble and does not spend time on matching clothes.
However, his clothes are all very textured and the matching is the most classic, which is in line with Ah Fei's temperament, calm and reliable.
The point is, she had never noticed this before.
Ling Ying took one of his white shirts and put it on, then stood in front of the mirror and looked at himself.
I remembered what he said, that he hopes to find a girl who loves him wholeheartedly, instead of thinking about others when she is with him.
When Ling Ying heard this, she felt very aggrieved. She wanted to deny it, to refute it, and to say that she was not thinking about anyone else and was only thinking about him.
But after calming down and reflecting on her behavior these days, she realized that she was indeed not attentive enough to Ah Fei.
She seemed to be doing a lot of things, but in fact it was more like formality, whether it was cooking for him, watching movies and eating with him, or even in bed...
It was not just formalism, she was also deliberately catering to his tastes and preferences.
Knowing that he would have a strong desire every morning, she would go brush her teeth in advance.
But she never woke up and saw him, she couldn't help but smile, then kissed him without hesitation. If he dared to reject her, she would definitely kiss him again.
This is what lovers should be like.
Sometimes they are heartwarming, sometimes they are hateful, and sometimes they even have a bit of a bad taste, they will make jokes, and they will also argue and quarrel.
On the day of moving, they were like a real couple, but because she talked too much about Qingze that day, she made A Fei unhappy. She realized that she had hurt A Fei and also realized that she still loved Qiao Qingze deeply.
So from then on, she became cautious.
She also did a lot of things to prove that she was no longer thinking about Qiao Qingze and that the person she liked now was A Fei.
But behavior that is too deliberate is not love at all.
If you really like someone, you should care about him from the bottom of your heart, want to share everything with him, and want to know everything about him, instead of trying to please and cater to him.
So Ah Fei was right, she was indeed not devoted to him wholeheartedly.
Everything she did was to give herself a hint, telling herself that she had to start over, love this man well, and not dwell on the past.
She was just using Ah Fei to divert her love for Qiao Qingze.
Maybe she should really think seriously about whether it is necessary to continue such a relationship.
She couldn't be so selfish and use Ah Fei...
You can choose not to love someone, but you can’t disturb or hurt them, right?
Thinking of this, she took off her shirt, hung it back where it belonged, and buttoned every button just like he had done before, and finally smoothed out the wrinkles on the clothes.
After tidying up Ah Fei's clothes, she changed into her own clothes.
She ended up not attending the cooking class that afternoon.
After packing up his daily necessities and clothes, he left a note and left Ah Fei's house.
There were other miscellaneous items that she was not in a hurry to move, and she was not in the mood to do that today. She thought about waiting for Ah Fei to come back, having a frank talk with him, and then asking the workers to come and move them away.
…
When she returned home in the afternoon and faced the empty room, her mood hit rock bottom.
The little home that she once loved was now just a room full of loneliness for her.
Ling Ying opened a bottle of wine, drank by herself, and then lit a cigarette in despair. Anyway, she would not be together with Ah Fei in the future, and how she shaped her body had nothing to do with him. No one would come to put out her cigarette or snatch her wine glass.
Everything has returned to the state it was before I met Ah Fei, leaving me alone to rot and mold.
Thinking of this, I didn't feel relieved at all, but instead felt a sense of desolation.
I drank cup after cup and finally got drunk. In a daze, I seemed to hear the phone ringing.
He got up from the living room floor and went to look for his phone.
But when I got the phone, the call had already been disconnected.
Only then did I notice that there were five missed calls and several unread messages on the screen.
They are all Ah Fei's numbers.
Ling Ying smiled. This idiot, he said he needed to calm down and then broke up with her, why is he still contacting her?
At this time, the phone rang again, it was still Ah Fei.
She answered the phone, but before she could even say "Hello", Ah Fei asked, "Why aren't you answering the phone?"
"Oh, I was sleeping, I didn't hear you... Are you here yet?"
"We've arrived a long time ago."
"That's good……"
"What's wrong with your throat?" asked Ah Fei.
Ling Ying cleared his throat and said, "Nothing."
"Drinking?"
"And I'm smoking..." she said with a smile.
Now she has completely given up on treatment. They are breaking up anyway, so she doesn't care about that anymore.
The person on the other end of the phone was silent for a while, took a deep breath, and seemed quite angry.
Ling Ying said that if there was nothing else, she would hang up first.
"I need you to do me a favor."
"What?"
"Go to my study now, find a document for me, take a photo and send it to me."
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