She remembered when they first met in the teahouse, he was wearing a bright red python robe with gold flying fish patterns and a black crane cloak. He was handsome, with a cold expression, tall, and a cold, sharp, and careless aura. Liang Wushuang stood beside him with a bright smile, and his every frown and smile was innocent and bright, just like in her previous life.
"But senior brother, I'm already married." Yu Jiao didn't want to hurt her senior brother at all. If possible, she just wanted to do her best to be nice to him. What she owed him, she could never repay.
"So what?" At this moment, Cheng Ying finally couldn't hold back the violence in his heart. He sadly understood that he could never go back to being the original Fu Chuan. The twenty-one years of being named Cheng Ying had been integrated into his bones and blood.
He held Yu Jiao's hand that was pulling on his sleeve and wrapped her hand tightly in his palm: "I don't care."
Yu Jiao said in a low voice, almost reluctantly: "But I can't, Senior Brother."
Cheng Ying's voice was restrained, almost begging her: "Jiaojiao, you can do it. He and you have known each other for less than two years. As long as you are willing, you will soon forget him. In our past and present lives, no one can be as close as we are. He doesn't know your past at all, and it is impossible for him to know what the era that belongs to us was like. He doesn't understand the real you at all. Jiaojiao, forget him."
Yu Jiao shook her head and smiled bitterly, her eyes red and tears welling up in her eyes: "But Senior Brother, I know that the relationship between you and me is family, and the relationship between him and me is..."
Cheng Ying interrupted her. What he didn't want to hear from Yu Jiao was her expression of love for someone else: "You don't understand, Jiaojiao, you don't understand." His voice was anxious, even incoherent, "You have never liked anyone before, how is it possible that after coming into this world, you fell in love with him in just one year? You just... you just don't know what to do in this world, and you desperately want to find a connection with this world, to take root in this world, and maybe you don't even realize it..." He was eager to convince Yu Jiao, and even to convince himself.
Yu Jiao's tears slid down her cheeks and dripped onto their intertwined fingers, burning Cheng Ying's heart so much that it felt like being pricked by fine needles.
He used his fingertips to wipe Yu Jiao's tears, but the more he wiped, the more tears appeared, and his fingers were soaked with tears.
"Jiaojiao... I'm sorry." Cheng Ying was at a loss, he didn't want to let Yu Jiao cry. If possible, he didn't want to see Jiaojiao shed a tear in this life.
Yu Jiao shook her head and choked up, "Brother, don't say sorry to me. You have never...never been mean to me. It's my fault...I'm not good."
She was not crying for herself, she did not feel wronged, she was just sad for her senior brother, felt wronged, and felt that it was not worth it for her, but the source of all this was because of her.
Yu Jiao put her cheek against his palm: "If... but there are not so many ifs. I'm sorry, Senior Brother, I won't go back."
If only the senior brother had found her earlier, she would know his feelings and would not give her heart to others, or at least she would not fall in love with someone else so quickly.
But now she has fallen in love with Yu Qizhe and married him. Everything cannot go back to the starting point. She feels indebted, guilty and self-blaming to her senior brother. She wants to be good to him, but she knows clearly that it is not love, it is family affection.
She can't go back.
Cheng Ying held her face, her eyes red with bottomless pain: "Jiaojiao, look at me, but what have I done wrong? How am I not as good as him? In my previous life, I have always been with you. You were naive and didn't know the world. You never understood the matter of love. I thought that as long as I waited, as long as I waited, you would be able to discover my love when you fell in love. But before I could wait, disaster struck. I didn't even have the chance to express my feelings to you before I died..."
Yu Jiao burst into tears and cried in his palm.
"I came to this world without you, intending to die, but a Taoist priest revealed that I was a lonely soul from another world. He told me that it was useless to seek death, and I could not go back to my original world. He predicted that you had died in your original world and your soul had returned to the underworld. At that moment, my heart was broken and I just wanted to go to the underworld to find you."
Yu Jiao remembered that she did not come directly from the modern times. After her senior brother left, she had been in a bad state. The medical dispute made her lose the most important person. She blamed everyone and everything and lived in a daze all day. She finally came out of the depression, but later met with an accident. But before this moment, she had no memory of her death in the modern times.
"The Taoist priest told me that he had a way to lead your soul to Taiyan, but he wanted me to protect the people of Taiyan and let them live in peace. He wanted me to find two people whose birth dates and horoscopes matched yours and go to the Fahua Temple to set up formations and chant sutras for ten years before he could lead your soul over. I believed him and had naive and crazy thoughts."
Cheng Ying smiled bitterly, her voice hoarse, "Jiaojiao, I did everything as you said. Although I have harmed loyal officials over the years, I have never harmed the common people. After I took over the power of the Imperial Household Department, I never withheld anything related to people's livelihood. I approved everything with a single word of approval. But the Taoist priest lied to me. Your soul had clearly arrived at Taiyan, but he kept it from me."
"I waited for you in Fahua Temple for ten years before I finally got you." Cheng Ying looked at her, tears rolling down his cheeks. He begged in a very soft voice, "Jiaojiao, you can't be so cruel to me."
Yu Jiao's tears were streaming down her cheeks, her face was red from crying, and the tears flowed into her mouth, which was full of bitterness, even more bitter than coptis chinensis. It turned out...it turned out that her senior brother had done so much for her to come to Taiyan.
But she knew nothing, and at first she even thought that God was playing a joke on her.
Bodhi Mountain was so cold at night that it made people shiver. Cheng Ying's tears rolled down Yu Jiao's neck, feeling hot and heavy, almost making Yu Jiao unable to stand steadily.
Cheng Ying's lips trembled. "I saved Yu Qizhe's life. He is one of the people whose fate is compatible with yours. He has a congenital deficiency. Although I used his birth date to extradite you, I also saved his life. I don't owe him anything. The poison in his body was obtained by his old lady from the temple. Jiaojiao, I don't owe him anything. Tell me, why should I repay him with the person who is most precious to me and the most important to me? Why did he steal my beloved? Why did he take you away from me?"
Yu Jiao cried until she lost all her strength, relying on Cheng Ying to support her. She never knew that her senior brother loved her so desperately. She used to naively think that it was family love...
"Jiaojiao, I have nothing but you." Cheng Ying rested his chin on her shoulder and murmured, "Jiaojiao, let's forget all this and go back to the past, okay?"
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