"A medical dispute. Four words. It doesn't sound like much." Yu Jiao was already out of breath from crying. Her voice was hoarse and full of resentment. "This kind of man-made accident can be seen everywhere in the news. It's not uncommon. It happened before and will happen again in the future. But it happened to me and caused you to die trying to save me."
Yu Jiao's eyes were red, she had collapsed, and her speech became incoherent. "Doctor Fu, you are already a chief physician before you are 30. Your life should be a bright and smooth road. You should have a better life, but I ruined it all. You died to save me. How can I live?"
"The living person is tortured by guilt and hatred day and night. I hate the patient who turned his back on the doctor with a butcher knife. I hate the profession I am proud of. I hate that I shouldn't have studied medicine since I was a child. I hate that I saved so many people but couldn't save my senior brother. What I hate most is... why was it not me who died?"
"Jiaojiao, it's all over." Cheng Ying looked at her at this moment, his heart felt like it was stabbed by an arrow and stirred violently for several times. He had thought that Jiaojiao might blame herself and feel guilty for his death, but after hearing her pain and suffering with his own ears and witnessing her self-hatred with his own eyes, Cheng Ying felt personally how shocking the pain his death brought her was.
Yu Jiao burst into tears, like a cuckoo crying blood, in grief, "It's too late, it never was, you are the one who died, you will never know the pain of the one who was left alive.
"So, Senior Brother, I beg you, please stay alive, okay? Don't let me suffer that kind of pain again. I really can't live without my Senior Brother again..."
Cheng Ying could feel his life slipping away. As someone who had died once, he knew clearly the feeling of death approaching. He didn't care about this life. In the past twenty years without Jiaojiao, he never felt that there was any meaning in living, and death was nothing to be afraid of. He didn't care about life or death, but Jiaojiao... wanted him to survive.
He couldn't bear to see her so sad, nor could he bear to see her suffer because of his death, not to mention...
Cheng Ying looked at Yu Qizhe not far away. If he was really dead, then his death would stand between her and Yu Qizhe, becoming a thorn that could never be crossed.
His Jiaojiao would no longer be able to run toward the one she loved without hesitation.
It turns out that he was not the only one who suffered these years. Jiaojiao's life was never any easier than his.
And all the pain she suffered was caused by his death.
What he thought was a heroic act was the source of pain for both of them.
No, the real source of their suffering was the patient who was venting his anger on the doctor.
Neither he nor Jiaojiao did anything wrong. The one who was wrong was the crazy man who repaid kindness with ingratitude.
No, he was wrong. He was wrong in stubbornly thinking that loving someone meant obsessive possession, that giving meant expecting a response, and that forcing the other person to stay by his side.
In recent years, he has been wandering around Taiyan, playing power games, and is indifferent to everything except Jiaojiao. He imprisoned himself in the obsession of wanting Jiaojiao but unable to get her. He stubbornly regards Jiaojiao as his only spiritual support. In fact, he refuses to accept this world and floats above everything and everyone.
Isn't this a kind of self-destruction? He attributed all his misfortunes to the injustice of God and his extremely harsh treatment of him, which was actually a cover-up for his own resentment.
Ask yourself, did he really never resent why the death of a medical troublemaker happened to him? Did he never resent his beautiful life being ruined? Did he never resent why he lost his dignity as a man and became a eunuch after living a new life?
If not, then why would he be unwilling to accept Tai Yan's life from the bottom of his heart and treat Tai Yan's life as a joke? Isn't this indifference and cruelty a disguised form of passive resistance?
Isn't this resistance to starting over in life just because he is attached to his past life, to the life that should have been perfect, to his former self?
He deceived himself by pretending to be cold and cruel, and unintentionally hid his deep resentment, because it seemed that once he admitted it, it meant that he regretted saving Jiaojiao, and this would shake and destroy his entire belief.
Therefore, the subconsciousness of the brain and the complexity of the psychology helped him avoid all of this and rationalized his behavior and thoughts.
The stimulation of being on the verge of death and Jiaojiao's words made Cheng Ying suddenly clear-headed and transparent as never before. He dared to look into his own heart, dared to admit those despicable thoughts, and dared to accept himself. Instead, he felt unprecedented relief.
Jiaojiao is indeed his salvation, but his love is narrow-minded and extreme, stubborn and imposed, and he is trapped in his own trap.
It shouldn't be like this, he shouldn't stop her from running towards the person she loved. His Jiaojiao shouldn't be trapped by his life, dragged by him into the mud, and decayed and rotten like his life.
He wanted her to be better, so this time he chose to let go and fulfill her.
Yu Qizhe's eyes met Cheng Ying's, the cold wind blew his robe rustling, he was in an invincible position, and although he was obviously the winner, his heart was desolate, like a stagnant pool of water.
At this moment, he even hated his own extraordinary intelligence.
It was not only because he understood Cheng Ying's eyes, but also because he understood Jiaojiao.
She cried loudly in front of Cheng Ying, blaming herself and complaining bitterly. She was not only talking to Cheng Ying, but also telling him about the past entanglements and debts between her and Cheng Ying.
This can be considered an open conspiracy.
The person he loved once owed Cheng Ying a life.
The man he wanted to kill had once died to save the person he loved.
No wonder she cried and called Fu Chuan's name in despair and depression in her sleep after getting drunk. It turned out that there was a bond of life and death between them.
Yu Qizhe couldn't think of any emotion stronger than protecting each other with one's own life, and relying on each other for life and death.
After a long time, he finally loosened his hands and put down his arms that had long been stiff and sore. The fully drawn and swollen longbow lost its force and instantly became like a deflated fish bladder, no longer having any deterrent power.
Yu Qizhe knew very well that if this person really died in his hands, then he would lose Yu Jiao forever.
Gu Yun on the side quickly took the bow and arrow and gave Jianjia a wink.
Jianjia understood what he meant and hurriedly handed Yu Qizhe the medical box that she had found when Yu Jiao cried for medicine.
Yu Qizhe glanced at the medical box indifferently, finally raised his hand to take it, and then walked to Yu Jiao's side.
Facing Yu Jiao's tearful eyes, he said nothing, and didn't know what to say. He silently placed the medical box next to her.
Then he looked down at the blood-stained and miserable Cheng Ying and said coldly, "She has paid off the life she owed you. As you said, it's all in the past. There is only the past between you and her. The so-called past should be turned over."
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