Chapter 41 Dejection "Yes, madam."
Jiang Zhiyao had been handling household affairs during the day, and before she knew it, it was time for dinner. She sat down in the main hall, waiting for Yan Zhenxi to return so they could have dinner together.
On the other side.
"Chief Minister Yan, please wait." A somewhat aged but steady voice came from behind.
Yan Zhenxi paused in his steps toward the carriage and nodded slightly toward the direction of the voice: "Grand Tutor Zhao."
"Grand Secretary Yan, may I speak with you in private?" Grand Tutor Zhao said amiably.
Reaching the palace wall to the side, Grand Tutor Zhao first praised Yan Zhenxi, then began to speak indirectly: "...Grand Tutor Yan is indeed young and accomplished, holding a very high position, a rarity in all dynasties. Although some in the court are dissatisfied, I have seen your abilities firsthand; those people are merely jealous..."
Yan Zhenxi remained calm and composed, neither humble nor arrogant: "I dare not accept such high praise from the Grand Tutor."
Zhao Taifu suddenly changed the subject: "I have a young daughter who has always loved reading the poems of Chief Minister Yan."
Seeing that Yan Zhenxi made no response, Grand Tutor Zhao had no choice but to be more direct: "Grand Secretary Yan, I wonder if you would be willing to marry my youngest daughter..."
"I'm sorry," Yan Zhenxi interrupted Zhao Taifu calmly, "I have no such intention."
"My lady is still waiting for me to return home for dinner." Yan Zhenxi stepped back. "Excuse me, Grand Tutor Zhao."
After saying this, without waiting for Zhao Taifu's reaction, she turned and left, getting into her carriage.
It was a waste of his time to go back and spend time with his wife. He was already busy with work today, and he rushed to finish before dinner, so he came out a little late.
"Hurry up." After getting into the carriage, Yan Zhenxi calmly instructed the coachman.
Upon returning to his residence, Yan Zhenxi saw Jiang Zhiyao waiting for him in the main hall. His expression softened, and he quickened his pace to walk to her side.
Jiang Zhiyao was holding an account book and looking at it intently. Thinking it was a servant approaching, she didn't take her eyes off the account book and casually said, "Wait a little longer, we'll have our meal when the master returns."
“Yes, Madam,” Yan Zhenxi replied in a low voice, then walked behind Jiang Zhiyao and began massaging her shoulders.
"Hmm?" Feeling the pressure on her shoulder, Jiang Zhiyao looked up in confusion, then with a hint of surprise, "Zhenxi, you're back."
“Madam.” Yan Zhenxi straightened Jiang Zhiyao’s head in a serious manner, “The master is still on his way back to the manor. How can you treat me as the master? The master will be sad if he finds out.”
Jiang Zhiyao chuckled and put down the ledger, her tone amused: "So what's your name? I don't think I've ever seen you before."
"Reporting to Madam, my name is A-Yan."
“Ah Yan.” Jiang Zhiyao’s tone was slightly curious.
"Yes, madam," Yan Zhenxi replied, his grip on her hand remaining firm. "Is this alright?"
"Okay." Jiang Zhiyao squinted her eyes. It really felt good. She had been dealing with things all day and her shoulders were a little sore. After massaging for a while, she felt much better.
Seeing Jiang Zhiyao's expression of enjoyment, Yan Zhenxi felt a surge of desire. After a while, he couldn't resist and leaned down to kiss Jiang Zhiyao's eyes.
After kissing her, he stepped back. Before Jiang Zhiyao could say anything, Yan Zhenxi spoke up, "I'm sorry, Madam. I have been disrespectful. Please do as you see fit."
"Alright." Jiang Zhiyao chuckled, and seeing the servants bringing over the dishes, she grabbed Yan Zhenxi's hand, "It's time to eat."
Yan Zhenxi sat down with Jiang Zhiyao and they ate dinner together.
At bedtime, perhaps because Yan Zhenxi was too tired during the day, Jiang Zhiyao took a bath and found that he was already asleep in bed.
After staring at his sleeping face for a while, Jiang Zhiyao slowly lay down on the bed and wrapped herself tightly in the quilt.
-
The next day, in the teahouse.
Ji Wanqing was absent today due to other commitments, leaving only Jiang Zhiyao and Cheng Mingzhu in the room.
As soon as Jiang Zhiyao sat down, Cheng Mingzhu pulled her aside and said, "I heard that Grand Tutor Zhao pulled your husband aside yesterday, wanting to betroth his youngest daughter to Yan Zhenxi."
Cheng Mingzhu told her everything she had heard, feeling that her friend had the right to know.
"Your husband refused, thank goodness he refused. If he hadn't refused, I'm afraid I would have grabbed a knife and gone to your house to kill him the moment I heard about it."
Jiang Zhiyao was so surprised that she couldn't speak.
“I think that Grand Tutor Zhao has lost his mind,” Cheng Mingzhu said indignantly. “He’s saying all sorts of things. My father was right. Those bookish old guys always like to do sanctimonious things.”
Cheng Mingzhu looked at Jiang Zhiyao seriously and said, "Yaoyao, if you hear anything, don't overthink it. Those people are all a little bit mentally unstable."
Cheng Mingzhu was actually a little worried about Jiang Zhiyao. She was usually a very easygoing person who couldn't easily read other people's emotions, but recently she felt that Jiang Zhiyao seemed to have something on her mind, and she didn't know if it was just her imagination.
Upon hearing Cheng Mingzhu's last words, Jiang Zhiyao couldn't help but smile and nod, "I understand."
"By the way, I heard that the storyteller was talking about something like..." Jiang Zhiyao casually changed the subject, not wanting Mingzhu to worry about her.
“That’s right.” Cheng Mingzhu became excited when she mentioned this. “He rarely talks about this. I found out about it yesterday and specially invited you here today.”
Seeing that Cheng Mingzhu was intrigued, Jiang Zhiyao smiled and agreed. Not long after, the storyteller took to the stage.
Back at the mansion.
Jiang Zhiyao sat alone in front of the dressing table, removed her hairpins, and looked at them in her hand, momentarily lost in thought.
This hairpin was a gift from Yan Zhenxi, which she liked very much and wore often. Looking at the many pieces of jewelry on her dressing table, Jiang Zhiyao realized that most of them were given to her by Yan Zhenxi.
She was starting to miss Yan Zhenxi.
Jiang Zhiyao knew perfectly well that Yan Zhenxi was now the Grand Secretary, and his workload would inevitably increase compared to before. Moreover, even though Yan Zhenxi would come back whenever he had free time, Jiang Zhiyao still felt it wasn't enough.
Jiang Zhiyao is actually someone who prefers to be alone most of the time, but for some reason, she just wants to be with Yan Zhenxi, even if they don't say or do anything.
Why are they so dissatisfied?
If it were Jiang Zhiyao two years ago, even just seeing Yan Zhenxi once at a banquet would have made her secretly overjoyed for half a month, let alone now that she can spend every day intimately with Yan Zhenxi.
"Be content," Jiang Zhiyao told herself. Besides, this was her specialty, wasn't it?
After comforting herself, Jiang Zhiyao exhaled softly, trying to shake off the inexplicable thoughts in her mind, but suddenly remembered Yan Zhenxi's recent strange behavior.
The way I avoided her holding my hand, the slight panic when I hid my things, and the fact that I didn't try to hug her before going to sleep last night.
For some reason, Jiang Zhiyao's eyes reddened slightly, and a wave of grievance washed over her.
According to stories and other accounts, such trivial matters are often the beginning of indifference and disdain.
Jiang Zhiyao gripped the velvet flower beside her with her fingers, unconsciously tugging at it. "Don't think too much, don't think too much," she silently repeated to herself several times, but she dejectedly found it had no effect.
Then she began to despise herself, wondering why she always overthinks such trivial matters, preferring to let herself brood rather than ask questions.
Jiang Zhiyao used to despise herself like this in her heart. When she was alone, she would always think about whether the words she said to someone that day were inappropriate, what others would think if they heard them, and hate herself for not being able to deal with those people calmly and composedly.
But in reality, after getting married, especially after becoming close to Yan Zhenxi, Jiang Zhiyao rarely had such wild thoughts anymore.
But for some reason, these dark forces have come back like a tidal wave today, and with great force. The things that have been deliberately suppressed these past few days have launched a fierce counterattack.
Jiang Zhiyao had thought they had all disappeared, but now she sadly discovered that they were only temporarily lying dormant in the shadow of the sun, waiting for an opportunity to reappear when she was at her happiest, to highlight her weakness and powerlessness.
Jiang Zhiyao recalled her initial thoughts and feelings of guilt towards Yan Zhenxi when they first got married.
A noble young man like Yan Zhenxi should be matched with a lady from a high-class family of equal social standing, not with her, a person with no background, no merits, and only a bit of luck.
In particular, Yan Zhenxi has now risen to the position of Grand Secretary, second only to the emperor.
Recalling what I heard today, I think that Grand Tutor Zhao wanted to marry my daughter to Yan Zhenxi, and that's probably what he was thinking too.
Thinking of Yan Zhenxi's improved eyesight, another worry welled up in her heart. Looking at herself in the mirror, Jiang Zhiyao lowered her eyes. If Yan Zhenxi's eyes recovered and he saw that his wife still looked so ordinary, he would probably be disappointed.
I sat quietly in front of the dressing table, letting the darkness engulf me.
Looking up, Jiang Zhiyao suddenly saw herself in the mirror and felt a little unfamiliar. She couldn't help but reach out and touch her reflection, gently stroking her drooping eyebrows.
She doesn't like this version of herself.
night.
"Ayao." Yan Zhenxi approached Jiang Zhiyao from behind, propped himself up slightly, and whispered in her ear, "Let's go to the palace banquet together tomorrow, okay?"
"Okay." Jiang Zhiyao was lying on her side facing the inside of the bed. She simply replied without making any other movement.
Jiang Zhiyao thought that as long as she took the initiative to distance herself, she should be able to get used to being ignored later on.
Jiang Zhiyao has always liked to think of the worst possible outcome for things she cares about.
Yan Zhenxi's intimacy with her will only be fleeting; how can the moon shine on a low puddle forever?
She took her hand out from under the covers and squeezed the rag doll. Anyway, no matter what, the rag doll would always be hers.
Behind them, the moonlight shone softly into the room. Yan Zhenxi looked at Jiang Zhiyao with a deep and melancholy gaze.
Why does it feel like Ayao is avoiding me?
Why, why?
Watching Jiang Zhiyao knead the rag doll, Yan Zhenxi's breath hitched. Why would she rather knead it than turn her head to look at him?
They completely forgot who was pretending to be reserved the night before.
Yan Zhenxi suddenly didn't want to be that rag doll anymore. Was he going to make it to compete for A Yao's attention? He didn't want that.
Stop squeezing rag dolls...
Yan Zhenxi closed his eyes, his throat dry, and swallowed the last three words whole.
When did he become like this? He becomes so restless after only a short time without Jiang Zhiyao's care.
He took the initiative to hug her, kiss her, and win her attention, a voice in his heart urging him urgently.
don't want.
Yan Zhenxi denied it.
He doesn't want that. Yao likes him, no, Yao loves him, doesn't she?
After spending several days and nights together, Yan Zhenxi had already confirmed this fact.
Yan Zhenxi was certain that A Yao would come over and hug him, as long as he made a move.
"Ah Yao," Yan Zhenxi said in a muffled voice, "I feel a little cold."
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