Chapter 16: Illiterate Jokes
"I was told," Lu Qiniang said with a beaming expression as she walked into the house, "How could he be so unpopular with people when he was such a high-ranking official? No one helped him."
When Xiao Yan heard these words coming from the yard, his eyes darkened.
"Mom, no, it's me and my second sister, and that dad, who made money to buy meat."
"What? Just the three of you? You can't even make one capable person together, and you still make money! Come, help me carry the things in."
"Who are you looking down on?" Erya said with her hands on her hips while standing at the kitchen door.
Daya was busy in front of the stove. The mist blurred her figure, and the hot steam with fragrance rushed straight into the nose.
Erya proudly told her about the ups and downs of the day and the rich harvest.
"It was fine at first, and I made a lot of money. But when the people from the Five Cities Military Commission saw so many people gathered around us, they came over to check it out. I almost jumped out of my skin."
Erya is eloquent and speaks vividly.
"They suspected we were faking it and even checked the breathing of the guy in the room. Mom, I'm not going to lie, my legs are weak."
"Guess what happened?"
"You definitely haven't noticed, otherwise you'd still be showing off in front of me now?" Lu Qiniang scolded with a smile.
"Yeah! He actually could hold his breath and fooled those people. Mom, he's pretty amazing!"
"That's not a bit impressive, that's quite impressive. Do you think General Po Lu is a good-for-nothing? That's the Purple Star in the sky!"
"Mom, doesn't Ziweixing refer to the number one scholar?"
"Almost the same. They are all from heaven anyway, unlike us on earth."
"...a total of two hundred and sixty-two coins." Erya calculated faster than Lu Qiniang. "Two hundred and fifty coins are given to you. I used twelve coins to buy more than half a pound of meat. Big sister chopped it up and made meat porridge!"
After all, he is a child from a poor family, and even if he gets money, he is reluctant to spend it.
It only cost twelve cents, and Erya was still afraid that Lu Qinniang would scold her, so there was an imperceptible caution in her eyes as she spoke.
After hearing her bad idea, Lu Qiniang was both angry and amused.
"Aren't you afraid of running into someone you know? It would be so embarrassing."
"Losing face is not as important as eating meat." Seeing that she didn't get angry, Erya hummed, "I'll go again tomorrow!"
"You are not allowed to go." Lu Qiniang said, "It's not to the point where we can't eat. You are not allowed to go again."
It’s easy to make money, but this behavior cannot be tolerated.
If a person gets used to kneeling, he will never be able to stand up again.
"Also, he's not in good health," Lu Qiniang pointed at the main house and said, "If he gets sick again, we'll have to buy medicine, and that will cost a lot of money. It's not worth it."
Seeing that Erya was unhappy, she patted her head again and said, "Erya is the smartest. Mother knows that you are worried about her. But we have hands and feet, and mother can make money to support you. By the way, look at the money I made today and what nice things I bought for you!"
Erya was originally depressed because of the blow, but when she saw the red hairband and malt candy, she soon became happy.
"Give it to your older sister and younger sister."
Lu Qiniang returned to her room.
She glanced at Xiao Yan and saw that he was still as calm and distant as ever, and not ashamed and angry to the point of wanting to die, so she immediately felt relieved.
"Erya is just being naughty. Don't bother with her. The child has good intentions to make money. This is the way..."
A bit embarrassing.
"I told her that it won't happen again." Lu Qiniang said again.
Xiao Yan suddenly said, "No one will come to redeem me, you don't have to hold on to that hope."
Being caught talking behind someone's back, Lu Qinniang felt a little embarrassed. "I was just saying it casually. By the way, what did I buy for you?"
As she spoke, she happily took out... a thick stack of paper money from the basket behind her.
Xiao Yan said quietly, "...Why, do you think my death today wasn't realistic enough?"
If we scatter some paper money, the atmosphere will be perfect?
Lu Qiniang laughed heartily, "No, this isn't for you. This is for my husband!"
Xiao Yan: "..."
Isn't he her current husband?
"People celebrate the New Year, and so do ghosts." Lu Qiniang took off the backpack and placed it on the kang. "I was the child bride of the Zhang family. I came to the Zhang family when I was six years old. My father was a scholar, very impressive; my mother was also very capable, managing both the domestic and external affairs. My brother, my husband, was a good student since he was young and was originally going to go to school, but then for some reason he said he wanted to give up his pen and take up... cloth?"
"Join the army by throwing down your pen."
"Oh, yes, yes. I only remember the velvet. It's the velvet of velvet, not the cloth of velvet."
"It's not the 'rong' for velvet, it's the 'rong' for military uniform." Xiao Yan corrected her.
"Same thing." Lu Qiniang found a pen and paper and placed them on the table in front of Xiao Yan. "If my brother hadn't joined the army, he might have become the top scholar by now. People are all about fate. Didn't you ask for pen and paper? I bought them for you. Try it."
Because the Zhang family was a farming and studying family, my father-in-law went to school all his life, and my mother-in-law was responsible for all the chores, almost providing for my father-in-law.
Influenced by her surroundings, Lu Qiniang also felt that reading was an extremely important and sacred thing, and that scholars were worthy of respect.
Xiao Yan must also be a scholar.
So even though she was reluctant, she still couldn't forget Xiao Yan's "request".
If he wants something else, Lu Qiniang might not pay attention.
But what he wanted was pen and ink.
The affairs of scholars are naturally the most important.
"Oh, right, there is no ink. There is a broken inkstone in this house that my brother used before. I'll go find it for you." Lu Qiniang went out in a hurry again.
Xiao Yan stared at the low-quality paper and pen on the table in a daze for a long time.
After Lu Qiniang found the inkstone and ground the ink, Xiao Yan picked up the pen, dipped it in the ink, and wrote his name and courtesy name on the paper with his arm hanging down.
"This is Xiao-Yan--" He pointed at the words on the paper and told Lu Qiniang one by one, "This is my handwriting--"
"I know this one!"
Lu Qiniang became excited.
"This is 'nine', right?"
Xiao Yan: "...No, that's '几'."
His name is "Ji'an".
"Impossible." Lu Qiniang said firmly, "I know it, it's a 'Nine'!"
"The one that pops up first is 'Nine'." Xiao Yan explained patiently.
"If it sticks its head out, it will be cut by a knife. If it shrinks its head, it will also be cut by a knife. How can it not be 'nine' if it shrinks its head?" Lu Qiniang said that this is really too abstract.
"If a turtle hides its head, it's not a turtle anymore?" she couldn't help but say again.
Xiao Yan: "My name is Ji'an."
"Oh, my brother's name is Jiugao, and they look exactly like twin brothers." Lu Qin's mother muttered.
Zhang Heyao, also known by his courtesy name Jiugao.
The crane cries in Jiu Gao, and its voice is heard in the sky.
The name is full of ambition.
It’s a pity that he has a short life and cannot control himself.
Xiao Yan had gradually formed an image of her late husband from Lu Qiniang's words.
He took up his pen again and wrote her name.
Lu Qinniang.
But when Lu Qiniang saw her name, she had no reaction and asked him, "What is this?"
The handwriting is very beautiful, but it’s a pity that she doesn’t recognize it.
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