At this moment, Pei Sui felt that his brain was like the gears of a stuck machine, repeatedly reading what she said, but he inexplicably felt that the books he had read for more than ten or twenty years were all in vain.
I can't understand the meaning at all.
His Adam's apple rolled heavily, and the words squeezed out of his throat stuck together, low, but revealing the disguise of calmness.
"Does it...must it be like this?"
The hand that was hugging Meng Sheng's waist was constantly exerting force, as if he wanted to merge her into his own bones and blood.
She couldn't escape from him anymore.
Meng Sheng kept her eyelids down, not daring to look back at him, nor did she struggle to break free. The almond-shaped eyes that used to always look at him with tenderness, calmness, playfulness and brightness, now only dared to stare at the ground.
As if there was a way for her to escape there.
"This is the best solution."
In this harsh and noisy world, she finally found her own voice, which was also soft.
It was like a feather brushing across his eardrum, but when it landed on his heart, it became an atomic bomb powerful enough to flatten an island.
The corridor was silent for a long time. He suppressed the trembling and maintained the calmness within his control.
"Didn't you say... that you loved me more than I thought? Now, do you not love me anymore?"
But the grievance and humility that overflowed from the words were like invisible threads, tightly wrapped around her heart.
As long as you exert force, it will hurt.
Meng Sheng's nose suddenly felt a little sour.
This private meeting between them, which was very vivid, instantly broke down all her psychological defenses.
The tears that had been welling up in my eyes couldn't be held back and burst out.
As he lowered his head, drops of water fell to the ground.
All the details of their acquaintance, his confession, and their love flashed through his mind.
It's like a slide show, colorful.
Especially the trip to Japan a few days ago, which left a deep impression in her memory.
The sweet, exciting, and joyful throbbing and surging feeling she had while skiing seemed to still be lingering in her chest, unable to be released at all.
Pei Sui noticed her tears, turned her around, looked at the tears on her cheeks, and the helplessness and fatigue in her eyes, and the redness in his eyes spread.
He murmured, "Shengsheng..."
Meng Sheng suddenly looked up and looked into his eyes.
She took a breath, her nasal tone becoming more pronounced. "I love you, really. But it's only been two days. How could I suddenly stop loving you? But..."
Tears fell again as she blinked away, and the rest of the words were stuck in her throat, and all that came out was suppressed sobs.
How can it not hurt?
He is the person she wants to pour her last hope into and the person she wants to love with her last remaining effort.
How could I not love this man to whom I was willing to give all my courage and determination?
She tried to keep her voice steady, but her tears kept flowing down. She felt like she was on the sea, unable to swim, trying desperately to grab a piece of driftwood, hoping to be rescued, hoping to reach the shore.
But she could only struggle and flutter in it, splashing countless water. Finally, she watched herself slowly sink to the bottom, being bitten by the fish in the sea bit by bit, until not even a bone was left.
Her whole body was stiff, and she tried to use her last bit of strength to say the cruelest and most hurtful words to end all thoughts between her and him.
But when the words came to my lips, I still felt reluctant.
I couldn't bear to see his sad and painful expression.
It’s not because we don’t love each other anymore, there’s no need to hurt each other.
But as soon as she opened her mouth, the first thing that came out was a choked cry. Losing her momentum, she started laughing instead, "I... I can't help it. I... I'm sorry. I... can only... break my promise."
Her voice was soft, and didn't sound sharp or angular, but when it fell into Pei Sui's ears, it was so devastating that it was enough to cut his heart open and then sew it up with bloody needle and thread.
Pei Sui lowered his head, his hair covering his red eyes, and only his slightly heavy breathing revealed his pain at the moment.
He held her wrist, his throat felt like it had been rubbed by sandpaper, and he struggled to squeeze out a broken breath, "Don't be like this... okay? You promised me that if... anything happens, we will face it together and find a solution together, Meng Sheng, you can't go back on your word.
I know you're filled with anger, resentment, and hatred, but you can vent it all on me. Whether it's beatings or scolding, I won't complain."
"But you...can't push me away and give up on us so easily."
He just wants to have a future with the person in front of him.
Why is it so difficult?
Meng Sheng shook his head slightly, the smile on his face gradually became bitter, and tears dripped from his chin.
"I don't want to either, but I... can't get over it. Whenever I think about your mom's attitude towards my dad and how he felt at that time, my heart feels like it's been frying in oil over and over again.
What I can't get over is that he had a near-death experience because of this incident and now he has had a stroke.
To be honest, I don't blame you. All my anger and resentment are directed at your mother, not you."
"But... I can't control myself now... I still can't get over that hurdle. Tell me, what should I do? How can I avoid this torment and pain? How can I avoid this struggle and confusion when facing you?"
Pei Sui's heart was pierced by her every word.
It was precisely because he understood it so well that he had anticipated it last night and felt so panicked and scared.
He raised his hand and gently wiped away the tears on her face. His Adam's apple rolled a few times, and he pulled her tightly into his arms, holding her lower back with one hand and the back of her head with the other.
"If you can't make it, then let's not make it for now. I know you're feeling bad, so let me stay with you, take it one step at a time, and endure it one step at a time. Whether it's pain, struggle, or confusion, I'll help you share it."
"Can we be fair to each other? I want to speak up for myself and protest my injustice. Please at least give me a chance to make amends and don't sentence me to death right away."
He is not that innocent, but he is really innocent.
Every word he said was an attempt to retain this relationship, which he felt was the most precious.
But Meng Sheng was like the sand that he couldn't control. He was reluctant to let it go, and the tighter he held it, the faster it would flow away.
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