Pei Sui paused, frowned as she looked at the thing he was handed over, but did not reach out to take it immediately.
After a long while, he looked up, his voice devoid of warmth, "Why are you showing this to me?"
"This is what your mother left you. There are 21 suicide notes in total, all of which have been revised, but none of them are finished or signed."
It's easy to imagine how complicated and conflicted Cui Xueheng's feelings were when she wrote her suicide note.
There are even four or five manuscripts of the estate distribution, and each one feels inadequate, or perhaps it was a revision made in response to his own feelings of indebtedness to Pei Sui.
Pei Huan pursed her lips and added, "Mom's memory has actually deteriorated this year, especially after we went to Los Angeles. Her memory is always confused. Even after her mental state stabilized, she still can't remember many things. Whenever she forgets something, she will be silent for a very long time..."
He then kicked everyone else out of the ward and wrote his will.
This is said to be a suicide note, but it is more like Cui Xueheng's memorandum.
Pei Sui raised his hand, hesitated for two seconds when he touched the object, but finally took it and flipped through the diary.
The title page features a plum tree, with Cui Xueheng's name and his father's name on the right side of the trunk.
His gaze lingered on the title page for only a second before he turned to the first page.
The first page has the date and weather information written on it, but there's nothing else on it.
It wasn't until the second page that I started writing something, roughly stating that I felt life was meaningless, that I didn't want to live anymore, and that I missed my plum garden and wondered how it was doing now.
He didn't see his name until the third page.
Later on, his name appeared much more frequently.
Cui Xueheng had beautiful handwriting, and he seemed to see in these words the struggles Cui Xueheng went through when she put pen to paper, as well as the occasional incoherence.
Even after watching to the end, Pei Sui still couldn't understand what Cui Xueheng really meant.
He randomly flipped through a few blank pages and unexpectedly came across two strings of six-digit numbers.
Each string of numbers is preceded by a character: 中 (zhong) or 工 (gong).
Once he took the contents out of the brown-skin bag, he understood that "中工" represented the two bank cards, and the six-digit number was even easier to guess.
It's a password.
In her 27th "suicide note," Cui Xueheng mentioned that the two bank cards were left to him, and the amount in the bank was not small.
He thought this was Cui Xueheng's way of making amends to him out of guilt.
But he was still surprised when he saw the data in the inheritance distribution document.
Complex emotions welled up in his usually cold and indifferent eyes, and there was even a hint of helplessness.
Cui Xueheng actually left most of her assets to him!
There's also a photo of him when he was three years old, wearing the new clothes Cui Xueheng bought for him, standing in the snow playing with Pei's real Huanhuan.
There was a line of text on the back, written by his father.
Huan: meaning joy, a carefree life.
Sui: By extension, it means peace and well-being.
He and Pei Huan were born amidst their parents' expectations and love.
In her suicide note on page 20, Cui Xueheng mentioned that she often recalled the beautiful times before the kidnapping occurred. Back then, Huanhuan was there, her father was there, and everything was so wonderful.
She said she had actually hated the wrong person. Ah Sui was also very young that year; he was just a child. She shouldn't have attributed all her mistakes and resentment to a child who was only three years old.
She should blame the inhuman kidnapper, and she should blame herself for not keeping a close eye on her brother and sister.
That page was a bit wrinkled, probably because she shed the most tears on that page.
Pei Sui stared at these things, his whole body stiffening, completely stunned.
These were all things he hadn't expected; they shouldn't exist, they shouldn't have been there.
Why?
Given her personality, shouldn't she hate him the most?
Why?
The person is already dead, why pull this stunt?
He had long been accustomed to the pain that would emanate from her hatred, or the sudden pangs of guilt and tenderness she showed, making him feel as if his very internal organs were shifting and throbbing with pain.
How many days and nights did it take to get here?
He has forgotten.
Suddenly, the untimely image of the night Cui Xueheng was brought back to China and died flashed into his mind. He stood by the bedside, calmly and indifferently watching her life slowly slip away.
She lay in bed, wearing the mask from the ventilator, exhaling large wisps of steam, as if trying to say something to him.
He thought she was scolding him, that she didn't want to see him, and that she wanted him to get lost.
He even thought, in a cruel and childish way, that he was about to die, and he was just standing there, so what?
The more I tell him to leave, the more stubborn he becomes!
Even in death, I'll still cause her distress.
But for some reason, after reading these diaries and suicide notes, I felt that Cui Xueheng at that time seemed to have a thousand words to say to him, and perhaps she wanted to hold his hand and express her guilt and apology.
But are these things still important now?
How many years has it been?
He never felt a single trace of love from her, not even the most basic kindness.
She ceased to be his mother the night she tried to strangle him.
That's ridiculous!
real!
It's ridiculous. He never received the maternal love he longed for during his childhood and adolescence, but he finally received it during Cui Xueheng's life countdown.
real……
He didn't know whether to describe his feelings at that moment as sorrow or absurdity.
He sneered, his emotions rising to a fever pitch. He threw what he was holding on the ground, stood up, and said, "She hated me to death before she went abroad, she wanted to tear me apart. Now she's playing these tricks, who does she think she's fooling? She won't let me rest in peace even in death?!"
"Ah Sui!" Pei Yu called out to him.
"I won't take it. I won't take a single thing from her. You can divide it up or donate it to charity, but I absolutely won't take it!"
Pei Sui's face was tense, his voice was extremely cold and carried obvious anger. After saying this, he got up and returned to Zhishui Residence.
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