Chapter Three: Mutual Non-Prosecution Agreement
When Luo Yan opened her eyes again, the first thing she saw was the simple linear light fixture on the ceiling, a meticulously designed minimalist style, definitely not the home of hers that was a mix of bohemian-style blankets and an abstract oil painting given to her by one of Xu Jingfei's ex-boyfriends, a veritable art disaster.
"Holy crap?!"
Luo Yan jolted awake, sitting up like a carp leaping out of the water, only to be pushed back down by a violent wave of dizziness and nausea.
The room was large, with an extreme color scheme of gray, white, and dark brown. The gleaming floor reflected the morning light from the window, making her dizzy.
Good news, this isn't a hotel. What good hotel would have such a strong "keep away" vibe?
The bad news is that she was wearing a dark gray men's shirt that was so big it could be worn as a dress!
My mind is like a formatted hard drive; my memories are stuck on the pungent smoke from the barbecue stand, the burning sensation of ice-cold beer on my throat, and... a face that looks unrealistically handsome amidst the chaotic neon lights. And then... nothing!
Immediately, countless melodramatic scenes from short dramas rushed to her mind. Luo Yan hurriedly lifted the blanket to check herself. There was no sign that her underwear had been taken off. Apart from a hangover headache, there was nothing else wrong with her body.
She tiptoed out of bed and cautiously wandered around the room like a thief, trying to find clues. On the bench at the foot of the bed, her clothes from the previous night were neatly folded, with some suspicious stains on them.
Before I could figure out what was going on, I heard a soft "click" and the bedroom door opened.
When Luo Yan saw who walked in, her pupils dilated in shock. Wasn't this the handsome guy with the modeling face she met at the barbecue stall last night? What's his name...? Oh, I think I heard someone call him... Jiang Sui.
He was wearing loose loungewear, his hair still damp. In the morning light, the tall man exuded a refreshing aura from his recent shower, as well as a composure that made Luo Yan's heart race.
Jiang Sui lazily raised her eyes and saw that she looked terrified, hugging the quilt to her chest, her legs were bare under her large shirt, her hair was messy, and her face was swollen.
"There's honey water in the kitchen, go and drink it yourself."
"Where...am I?"
“My home,” Jiang Sui replied briefly.
"Ah? Then... my clothes..." Luo Yan pointed tremblingly to the bench at the foot of the bed, "Who changed them?"
Jiang Sui glanced at the suit on the stool, then looked at her forced calm face, and a hint of amusement suddenly appeared in his eyes.
"There is no one else here but you and me."
"!!!"
Luo Yan almost stopped breathing, her heart rate instantly soaring to 180.
"Don't you remember? Let me help you recall."
Jiang Sui paused, seemingly considering her words, "Last night at the barbecue stand, you boasted about having a secure job and offered to pay me for the whole month. Then you grabbed the steering wheel and wouldn't let go, crying and shouting 'Even ants try to survive.' The designated driver was so scared that he almost stopped taking the job. After that, you passed out drunk. I don't know where you live, and I couldn't unlock your phone to make a call. I suppose you don't want me to take you to a hotel or leave you on the street, right?"
His tone was as calm as if he were chatting about everyday things, but every word struck Luo Yan's tense nerves like a hammer blow.
"Can you... take me to the police station to sober up?"
“I went there, but you refused to get out of my car, saying that being a civil servant would be a bad influence. In the end, I had no choice but to take you back to my home.”
"And then?" Luo Yan's voice trembled, tinged with a pitiful sense of relief. "Nothing...?"
Jiang Sui tilted her head slightly, looking somewhat innocently confused: "You really can't remember anything at all?"
My heart, which had been hanging in suspense, felt like it was dying a little.
Luo Yan's mind uncontrollably began playing out explicit images. Whether anything indescribable happened was still unknown, but based on her understanding of herself, faced with such a perfect man, it was entirely possible that she might have acted immorally after drinking, such as groping him or saying some dirty words!
She took a deep breath, straightened her back, and tried to arm herself with the confidence that the organization had given her: "It was all an accident! I blacked out, and my behavior was out of control, you know?"
Jiang Sui raised an eyebrow, said nothing, and quietly watched her performance.
Luo Yan panicked even more, speaking so fast it sounded like she was reciting a disclaimer: "Hey, we're all adults, and your...your profession...is nothing new, right? This is all about mutual consent...oops, I mean, accidental liability exemption. You didn't lose anything...right?"
Jiang Sui's gaze slowly fell on the obviously expensive shirt she was wearing, his deep eyes exuding a strong sense of pressure. "Bottega Va, you wore it as pajamas all night, is that a loss?"
Luo Yan looked down at her "pajamas," then at Jiang Sui's handsome face, whose ambiguous smile clearly said, "I'm very expensive."
Although I don't know the current market price for male models, even if she didn't sleep with him, just touching his abs would be considered a high-end expense for her, right?
That's not the most important thing. The most important thing is that she went to the house of a strange man she had just met last night, and woke up wearing his clothes. If this gets out, she won't believe it herself, no matter what she says!
No, this must not get out!
Luo Yan suddenly looked up, "No matter what, I am a civil servant of the Culture and Tourism Bureau, and also the superior authority of your unit... cough, the city's entertainment industry... No matter what happened last night, I believe you have professional ethics and will not casually disclose the privacy of guests... no, strangers... In order to build trust, let's draw up a no-holds-barred agreement!"
Jiang Sui's eyebrows twitched slightly, and a faint smile flashed across his eyes: "A treaty of mutual non-prosecution...?" He repeated it, his tone carrying an absurd sense of novelty.
Then, right next to that marble dining table that could be used as a mirror, Luo Yan stood with a solemn expression, as if she were signing an international ceasefire agreement, with two sheets of off-white paper spread out in front of her.
Agreement on Mutual Non-Prosecution and Permanent Confidentiality Regarding the Accident at the Barbecue Stand on the Evening of April 7, 2024
After writing her name down, Luo Yan looked up and asked, "How do you write your name?"
"Jiang Sui, the Jiang of Jiang Ziya, and the Sui of Sui (meaning casual)."
Luo Yan gave an "oh" and began to write furiously on the paper:
Party A: Luo Yan
Party B: Jiang Sui
Whereas: On the evening of April 7, 2024, Party A became disoriented and lost control of his behavior due to excessive alcohol consumption, which may have caused Party B some degree of distress (the specific details of the distress are not detailed due to damage to Party A's memory module and are therefore obscured); Party B, in the spirit of humanitarianism, took Party A in and provided him with a shirt as temporary shelter (Party A promises to return it after washing and ironing).
Through friendly consultations, and in accordance with the Five Principles of Peaceful Coexistence, especially the principle of non-interference in each other's internal affairs, the two sides have reached the following agreement:
1. Party A solemnly promises that: Party A voluntarily, completely, and permanently forgoes all events, conversations, and actions that occurred from leaving the barbecue stall last night until waking up today (regardless of whether they existed or what their nature was). Party A shall not inquire about, probe, imply, or imagine any related details to Party B in any form (including but not limited to verbal, written, mental, or dream-related means). If Party A violates this promise, Party A voluntarily agrees to pay compensation for emotional distress (the amount to be determined by Party B at their discretion, with no upper limit).
2. Party B solemnly promises that Party B shall not, in any form (including but not limited to oral, written, image, drawing, thought, or dream), mention, imply, disseminate, or ridicule Party A's intoxicated state last night, inappropriate remarks (including but not limited to "monthly subscription," "top-tier," "discounted iron rice bowl," etc.), or drooling sleeping posture while wearing Party B's shirt, or any other unmentioned behavior or state that is contrary to public order and good morals, to Party A or any third party (including but not limited to Party A's superiors, colleagues, relatives, friends, community security guards, or any elderly people downstairs). If Party B violates this promise, Party B voluntarily agrees to be cursed by Party A to never have the seasoning packet when eating instant noodles again.
3. Property Division: One shirt worn by Party A and belonging to Party B shall be returned to Party B by Party A after being cleaned (must be sent to a professional dry cleaner), ironed, and flattened. If the shirt is not returned for an extended period or is damaged (such as being stained, burned, or mistakenly used as a rag by Party A or their relatives), Party A shall compensate Party B at the original price (purchase invoice required).
4. Emotional Distress: Both parties agree that last night's experience caused varying degrees of emotional distress to each other (Party A: social trauma; Party B: potential visual or auditory pollution), and therefore mutually waive each other's liability for emotional distress damages. This matter is now closed and will never be mentioned again.
5. Confidentiality period: from the date of signing this treaty until the Earth stops.
6.t Supplementary Clause: Neither party shall, at any time, in any place, or in any form, retaliate against the other party physically or mentally for the events of last night.
This treaty is made in duplicate, with each party holding one copy, and shall come into effect on the date of signature by both parties.
...
After Luo Yan finished writing, she let out a long sigh of relief and pushed the document in front of Jiang Sui. "Sign it, and we're even."
Jiang Sui picked up the paper and looked at it, her lips taut.
"This is well-written..."
"Anything to add?" Luo Yan thought to herself. With three years of honing her essay writing skills, what details could she possibly have overlooked?
"That's very comprehensive."
Jiang Sui picked up the pen, signed his name, and handed the pen back to Luo Yan.
Luo Yan quickly snatched the QR code to sign her name, then opened WeChat on her phone and handed it to Jiang Sui, saying, "Add me. I'll contact you when the clothes are washed. Don't worry, I'm a civil servant, I won't take advantage of the public!"
After adding each other on WeChat, Luo Yan folded up her contract, returned to her bedroom, quickly changed back into her business suit which still smelled faintly of barbecue fumes, grabbed her bag, and rushed to the door as if fleeing a crime scene. Her hand on the doorknob, she turned back, her eyes filled with mixed emotions, and glanced at Jiang Sui: "Thank you... for not leaving me stranded on the street last night." With that, she opened the door and rushed out without looking back, as if a ghost were chasing her.
Clutching that absurd treaty, Jiang Sui suddenly couldn't understand why she had cooperated with her and actually signed it.
Through the gap in the curtains, I could see downstairs a figure in a suit running frantically toward the gate of the residential complex, nearly crashing into a trash can on the side of the road in his panic.
Picking up that thin piece of paper again, I looked at the neat handwriting and my gaze lingered on the name after "Party A".
"Luo Yan, Municipal Bureau of Culture and Tourism... What a coincidence."
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