Locked dancing shoes
If my adolescence was a long, wet rainy season, then Ye Zhixia's was an unexpected, devastating avalanche, coming violently and with the determination to destroy everything.
It seems like they have been obedient and suppressed for too long, so once they rebel, there is no way out.
The avalanche was silent at first.
When Ye Zhixia came to Aunt Chen's studio that day, she was wearing a loose black T-shirt with a hideous skull printed on it.
Her long hair was not neatly tied into a ponytail as usual, but instead hung loosely on her shoulders.
This outfit might be normal on Lulu, who always pursues individuality, but it looks a bit out of place on Ye Zhixia.
Lulu and I exchanged shocked glances, our mouths opened wide, not knowing what to say.
Ye Zhixia ignored our astonished looks and walked straight to the corner of the studio. She squatted with her back to us and searched for something on the shelf where miscellaneous items were stored.
"Ye Zhixia, your mother just asked me downstairs if I had seen you,"
Lu Xingye was drawing with charcoal, half a piece of bread in his mouth, and said incoherently, "You don't look very good."
Ye Zhixia's back stiffened for a moment, but he didn't turn around.
It's just that the searching movements were a little heavier, making a clanging sound.
My heart skipped a beat.
Aunt Fang's control over Ye Zhixia did not relax as she grew older, but instead became more severe.
From what color socks to wear every day, to who to make friends with, to which university to apply to and what major to choose in the future, Aunt Fang plans everything in detail.
We, the bystanders, can all feel that heavy concern.
That guy Lu Xingye has started to bring up things that are not related to the topic again.
Ye Zhixia's searching movements became heavier. It didn't seem like she was looking for something, but more like she was venting.
————
"Have you guys noticed Xia Xia has been acting a little strange lately?" she muttered, poking me with the cap of her pen. "The day before yesterday, I saw a pack of cigarettes in her schoolbag."
I was silent.
It's more than just strange.
After the strange outfit in the studio that day, Ye Zhixia seemed to have changed.
The good girl who used to wipe off the dust on her skirt immediately, suddenly took off her hairband that summer and let her long hair fall loose on her shoulders.
She no longer came home on time or nodded meekly and said "OK, Mom."
I learned to use a sneer to counter every "it's for your own good" from Aunt Fang.
She seemed to be struggling to break free from a mold that had been too fitting for her for more than ten years.
Aunt Fang's anxiety was almost visible to the naked eye.
As she spoke to our mother, the frustration in her voice grew.
"I really don't know what's wrong with her. She can't be talked to or touched. If I say something wrong, she'll turn her face away..."
————
The conflict broke out completely one weekend afternoon, and the location was actually in my living room.
Aunt Fang brought Ye Zhixia to visit, and it should have been a warm scene for the two mothers to chat about family matters.
Somehow, the topic turned to the upcoming dance exam.
Aunt Fang planned eagerly, "Xia Xia, this exam is very important. Teacher Chen said that as long as you perform consistently, you'll definitely get an 'excellent' grade. This will be very important for your future..."
"I don't want to take the exam anymore." Ye Zhixia suddenly interrupted her in a calm voice.
The smile on Aunt Fang's face froze. "What did you say?"
She seemed unable to believe her ears.
"I said, I won't take part in the dance exam." Ye Zhixia repeated word by word, looking straight at Aunt Fang without any dodging.
My fingers holding the biscuit froze in mid-air, and my heartbeat inexplicably accelerated.
I have never seen her resist Aunt Fang's arrangements so fiercely and directly.
"Ye Zhixia!" Aunt Fang's voice suddenly rose. "Do you know what you're saying? You've been training for so many years, and now you're not going to take the exam? You..."
Ye Zhixia looked indifferent from beginning to end, but insisted that "I don't want to take the exam anymore"
Aunt Fang's tone gradually escalated from initial persuasion to sharp accusations, with every word and sentence involving "expectations" and "future".
Seeing that the atmosphere was tense, my mother quickly put down her teacup and tried to smooth things over.
"Alright, alright, Sister Fang, don't be so anxious. Xia Xia, we can discuss the exam slowly. Your mother is also thinking about your future. Think about it carefully and don't be impulsive..."
Ye Zhixia raised her eyes and looked at Aunt Fang with a mocking smile on her lips.
This expression seemed very abrupt on her usually gentle face.
Even my mother was speechless and stood there in a daze.
"You're the one who wants to take the test, not me."
Her words completely ignited the fuse.
Aunt Fang's body was shaking slightly due to extreme anger.
To the astonishment of my mother and me, she raised her hand.
“Bang!”
A crisp and loud slap landed unexpectedly on Ye Zhixia's fair cheek.
Time seemed to have stopped.
I was so scared that I held my breath.
Ye Zhixia's face was hit to one side, and finger marks quickly appeared on her cheek.
She slowly turned her head, without shedding a tear, and just stared straight at Aunt Fang.
That look reminded me of a wounded wild cat I saw when I was a child. It had the same look when it was forced into a corner. It didn't retreat or give in, but it made people inexplicably feel uneasy.
Aunt Fang's hand was still hanging in the air. She seemed to realize that she had lost control, and a trace of regret flashed across her face.
Ye Zhixia turned around, walked straight to the door, opened it and walked out without looking back.
That night, Aunt Fang threw herself into my mother's arms and burst into tears.
She was crying so hard that she was out of breath, and her carefully styled curls were messed up.
"The rebellious period will pass, and all children are like this..." My mother could only comfort me like this, repeating those pale and powerless words that were the only ones she could say.
Later, I pieced together what happened next from the adults' heartbroken descriptions.
Aunt Fang wanted to ease the relationship, so she specially made Ye Zhixia's favorite sweet and sour pork ribs.
However, Ye Zhixia tore up the dance exam registration form in front of Aunt Fang with an expressionless face.
She carefully wiped each pair of satin dancing shoes clean with a rag, neatly stacked them with the toes facing inward at the bottom of the cabinet, and locked the door with a click.
It’s like erecting a wordless monument for my past self.
She held her head high, as if traveling through time to comfort the little girl in the dance studio who was in so much pain from doing the splits that she dared not cry.
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