Chapter 36 The Dispute: "Friends or a Relationship?"
36
Faced with the sudden question, Fang Huaixu paused for a few seconds, still judging the question by his usual way of thinking. After a moment, he answered seriously: "I would say we are close friends, people we can trust and help each other... close confidants?"
"A close friend?" Meng Yao's lips curled into a faint smile, her eyes instantly filled with endless disappointment. Her voice was so cold it sounded like mockery, whether directed at herself or Fang Huaixu, it was unclear.
After a long silence, she seemed to have made up her mind, and sighed deeply: "If you could be more honest and admit that you're just an ordinary person who follows your instincts, who can be nice to your 'friends' while also satisfying your physical needs, I might respect your honesty a little. After all, I also need your help, and I wouldn't mind how you indulge yourself. But now, you still have to wear this fake gentleman's mask... Do you know that what I hate most in this life is being played like a fool?"
Her gaze was sharp, and Fang Huaixu stood there, bewildered. His mind went blank for a moment, not understanding where these accusations came from, let alone how the terms "physiological needs" and "indulgence" were associated with him. His gaze was blank, yet tinged with innocence: "I... I don't quite understand what you're talking about. Did I do something wrong as a friend?"
“Friends?” Meng Yao took a step forward, her icy voice carrying an undeniable anger: “Tell me, what kind of good friend would be so blurred as to become like this? Is Silas your friend? Would you invest in his company without hesitation and clear obstacles for him just because he doesn’t like his job? Would you stare at him for no reason and say, ‘He looks attractive today’? Would you tease him on purpose just to see him blush and panic? Would you finish all your social engagements every day just to have more time to go home and tutor him?”
Even though she was exposing Fang Huaixu's words, she felt her heart grow heavier with each sentence she spoke. She took a deep breath and finished her last words: "After you've done all this for him, you won't ask for anything in return, just so he can feel more at ease by your side?"
The confusion on Fang Huaixu's face gradually dissipated as she spoke, replaced by a sense of realization and bewilderment.
He was just a bit dull-witted, not emotionally clueless. For a long time, he had categorized all his unusual emotions and behaviors as safe and controllable things like cooperation and mutual assistance, because he believed that Meng Yao was a very good person and deserved more and better things.
It wasn't until Meng Yao listed all these things that he realized he had unknowingly done so many outrageous things.
His past interactions were still vivid in his mind, and he was still trying to rationalize these behaviors one by one, but Meng Yao did not give him any chance to think, and said decisively: "This is not a friendship at all, Fang Huaixu. This is called an ambiguous relationship. We are all adults. Don't tell me that you are too old to understand these tacit tugs and tests."
Fang Huaixu was completely rooted to the spot by her words, and a blush finally spread across his face, his ears turning red.
Yes, he understood the moment Meng Yao made it clear; how could he not understand?
Rather than saying he was inactive, it would be more accurate to say that he had been running away all along, trying to rationalize all his actions by packaging them as cooperation or marriage. But deep down, he was the one who was enjoying the relationship.
His world had been silent for too long, and Meng Yao's arrival was like an unexpected surprise.
Every compliment he uttered was true; she was beautiful, resilient, and radiated an indomitable spirit. It was hard for him not to be drawn to such a person.
So he took the initiative to approach her, help her, tease her, and enjoy the quiet time they spent together after their busy schedules. Sometimes he went to great lengths just to see her blush, but this had long since gone beyond the normal scope of social interaction.
When did he become so bored, even enjoying it?
Perhaps it was because the time I spent with her was truly wonderful.
He used to not want to go home most of the time. Not only did it waste his commuting time, but once he opened the door, he knew without even imagining what a cold and boring world was behind the door. Every day, he would get up, work, experiment, and go home. His life was a monotonous routine, but it seemed that there was nothing wrong with it.
But ever since Meng Yao arrived, he has gradually become less tired of going home.
On his way home, he would start thinking about what kind of food she had cooked that day, what interesting things she had encountered at work, what anxieties she had in her studies, or whether she was just being playful and teasing him. All of these things made him feel relaxed and happy.
He didn't care at all about the troubles that seemed like the end of the world to her. In fact, he only felt the sense of accomplishment that came with the early days of his successful business when she needed his help.
Whether it was through investment, tutoring, or just hearing a few words of teasing and praise from her, he finally felt a real sense of his success over the years and unconsciously became proud of his ability to present a better side of himself to her.
He thought he had calmly drawn clear boundaries, but at this moment he realized that he had allowed himself to enjoy her vibrancy, her cunning, and all the surprises and warmth she brought, immersing himself in this unprecedentedly warm relationship, subconsciously drawing closer and absorbing, yet cowardly enough to not dare to define such a future.
The belated realization brought him no relief. What welled up in his heart was intense guilt and self-loathing. He was six years older than her and more experienced. How could he promise that this was just a business collaboration without any emotional involvement, while indulging in vague and unclear feelings, without ever giving her a clear explanation?
Seeing the disappointment in her eyes again, he didn't know how to respond. He managed to say with difficulty, "I'm sorry... It's my fault. I was negligent. I... I really didn't think it through carefully. I didn't expect that my actions would cause you such trouble and... misunderstanding."
He carefully chose his words, his explanation sounding particularly weak: "I didn't mean to toy with your feelings."
Meng Yao felt as if she had fallen into an icy abyss. While waiting for a reply, she desperately hoped that Fang Huaixu would make a last-ditch effort to defend himself, but she never expected him to admit it so readily. In an instant, she felt it was utterly absurd: "You clearly drew a line from the beginning, telling me it was just a business partnership, and I believed you time and time again. Since you wanted to enjoy this ambiguous tug-of-war, you could have just told me directly. Anyway, I'm under your control in this relationship. Can't you just be upfront about what you want to do? Why do you have to pretend to be a gentleman and deceive me?"
Her eyes involuntarily reddened as she spoke, but her voice remained as firm as ever: "I was prepared from the very beginning. Even if you had told me what you were like from the start—flirtatious, cold, calculating—I could have handled it all. Either way, I was selling myself out, and it was all within my tolerance... But why did you do this? Do you think it's fun to manipulate people's hearts? Do you enjoy the process of letting others lower their guard and then completely losing hope in them? Do you feel a sense of accomplishment seeing me now expose your ugly side and question you like this?"
"I didn't, I never had such a thought!" Fang Huaixu denied it hastily, but when he looked into Meng Yao's eyes, which were filled with hurt and anger, he only felt a great sense of powerlessness and contempt for himself.
His guilt and confusion reached an extreme. He couldn't understand why things had taken such a sharp turn overnight, why Meng Yao was convinced that he was two-faced, and whether his previous approach was really so heinous.
But after having this thought, he became even more convinced that it was his fault: how could he belittle her pain? She had already shown such anger in front of him, so his supposedly insignificant contact and interactions were nothing but a despicable deception on her part.
He was at a loss, letting the atmosphere remain tense and silent. He knew that whatever he did would be futile, and in the end, he could only ask in vain, "So now... you hate me?"
The room was completely silent.
Meng Yao continued to look at him, her usually calm and composed eyes now filled with obvious vulnerability and pleading, all the surging accusations stuck in her throat.
Do you hate him?
A simple "yes" hovered between his lips, but he couldn't bring himself to say it.
Because memories cannot be erased, she remembers all the good things he did: his meticulous care late at night, his unquestionable protection of her in front of the Lin family, his careful safeguarding of her dignity by noticing her every unease, and his clumsy yet sincere affirmation of her efforts.
The real warmth she felt collided with the scenes she witnessed today, leaving her in utter turmoil; it was far beyond what could be summed up with a simple "hate."
If she had to say what she hated, she probably hated herself more: hated her own stupidity and gullibility for letting her guard down with such a person.
A dull, painful disappointment enveloped her; something that had just begun to sprout was being brutally trampled upon, and it was shattering silently.
But she only trusted the wrong person, so why does she feel so upset?
She couldn't speak, she just pressed her lips tightly together, trying to suppress all her emotions.
But in Fang Huaixu's view, her silence and resistance were already a silent verdict.
The last glimmer of light in his eyes went out, and he silently lowered his head. After several seconds, he gently placed a document next to him on the table.
“The response to today’s event was very good, so I originally wanted to tell you that we can attend another lecture together next week. The schedule is already set.” He paused, trying to keep his voice calm. “Of course, if you feel that you no longer want to have too much personal contact with me, you can treat me as your boss or simply a partner in necessary public settings. I will… respect your wishes.”
After saying that, he stopped waiting for her response, didn't even linger his gaze on her, and silently turned and went upstairs to leave.
The sound of the bedroom door closing echoed in the room, and Meng Yao's back stiffened immediately. She stood there for a long time, unable to recover from her emotions.
She walked to the window and gazed at the deep night, her expressionless face reflected in the glass.
Only her dim eyes stood out, revealing not only deep disappointment and lingering anger, but also a hint of something she herself was unwilling to admit…
lonely.
Author's note: A little bickering is good for the relationship; once it's over, things will quickly move into the rhythm of romance. [Okay]
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