Chapter 131 Xinglin's Confession Xinglin's confession and Shi Wan's attitude...
Shi Wan's heart skipped a beat.
“At first, I just didn’t want to disturb you. I’m someone who has lost my past and has no future. You accidentally awakened me, and there’s too much uncertainty involved. So I pretended to be an AI customer service representative, waiting for the day I would leave or die.” Xing Lin’s voice became softer, as if he was lost in memories.
"But I saw you trying to build this farm better step by step. Although the initial intention may have been because Tangyuan entrusted it to you, you still treated every cat very well. You didn't discriminate against them or do things perfunctorily. Instead, you seriously cared about their health and living conditions, treated them, dewormed them, and fed them, making them strong and healthy."
"You've made this place so beautiful, like a paradise. My heart is slowly coming back to life here."
He paused, a glint in his eyes, "I watched you go from being flustered to being at ease, watched the farm gradually become more prosperous. You don't seem to like showing weakness, you even cry to the artificial intelligence, you smile every day, and you try your best to overcome all problems."
“Shi Wan,” Xing Lin’s voice carried a restrained yet surging emotion, “you are more beautiful and more dazzling than anything here.”
He took a deep breath, as if he had made up his mind. "In those moments when I was almost completely numb, you and this farm became my anchor. Every time I felt the warmth here, every time I heard you speak softly, every time I saw you smile... it reminded me that I was not just a mission taker. I had concerns and expectations. I was once a living person."
Shi Wan was completely stunned.
She looked at Xinglin, into his eyes, at his pale yet sincere face, and at his hands clasped together, his knuckles turning slightly white.
His clear and firm words echoed in her ears, each one striking her heart.
His voice trembled slightly, whether from nervousness or a sob.
“I know this may sound sudden and presumptuous to you,” Xing Lin said with a bitter smile. “The me who is saying these words to you will no longer have a truly human body. I come from a long-gone era, have lived through unimaginable ages, and bear indelible sins.”
He paused, his voice softer yet firmer, "But I still want to tell you these things. Shi Wan, I love everything here, I love the vibrant life on this land, I love the simple and warm little animals, and I love every ordinary yet precious day."
"But I like you more."
He spoke these words slowly, each one clear and firm.
"I like your focus when you're doing things seriously, I like your gentleness towards life, I like your cuteness when you're occasionally absent-minded, and I also like your unwavering courage." Xing Lin's gaze went straight into Shi Wan's eyes, without flinching or avoiding them.
"This feeling came quickly, but it was by no means inexplicable. It grew slowly under the watchful gaze of each day, and accumulated in every moment of worrying about you, feeling proud of you, and having my heart race for you."
The living room was so quiet you could hear the glutinous rice balls bubbling away.
Shi Wan opened her mouth, her heart pounding so hard it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest.
Her cheeks and ears were burning, and she felt as if she were being immersed in warm spring water, feeling both flustered and strangely excited.
This confession came as a surprise to her; she had never imagined that Xinglin might like her.
He always acted like an elder, gentle and considerate, offering help and support for all her decisions and ideas.
He listened to all her complaints and nagging, solved all her little problems and difficulties, and then silently retreated to his own territory, quietly watching her continue to move forward.
Like a silent guardian deity.
Seeing her flustered expression, Xinglin took the initiative to end the topic, "I know you may be a little at a loss. It must be hard for you to accept what kind of person I am, what kind of existence I am, right? But it's okay at all. I just don't want to hide it anymore."
He stood up, walked to Shi Wan, and then knelt down on one knee.
“Shi Wan,” he looked up at her, his gaze clear and sincere, “my only wish is that you allow me to pursue you, with a soul from the past, with a body made of data, with a heart that has finally learned to beat again. I will use my own way, slowly, earnestly, and tenderly, to let you understand me, and also to give me the opportunity to enter your life.”
His words carried the elegance and sincerity unique to intellectuals of the Republic of China era, yet without the slightest trace of pedantry or affectation.
Every word came from the heart, and every sentence was frank and natural.
Shi Wan stared blankly at Xing Lin, who was kneeling in front of her.
His eyes held undisguised expectation and tenderness, and even his pale face flushed slightly, his fingertips trembling slightly with nervousness.
She wanted to say something, but found that she had completely lost the ability to organize her thoughts.
"Meow!"
Tangyuan had somehow jumped onto the back of the sofa, looking down at Xinglin with bright, sparkling eyes. "Are you courting?"
Upon hearing Tangyuan's words, Xinglin blushed slightly, but still nodded earnestly to Tangyuan, "Yes, I want to pursue her."
Tangyuan tilted her head and pondered for a few seconds about the meaning of pursuing someone, then jumped off the sofa, circled Xinglin, sniffed him carefully, and finally sat down at his feet, puffing out her chest. "Then you have to pass Mimi's test! Wanwan is Mimi's most important family member!"
Shanfeng also came in through the porch, sat down next to Shi Wan, gently nuzzled her hand with his head, and then looked at Xing Lin with a scrutinizing gaze.
Like assessing whether someone is trustworthy.
Xinglin met Shanfeng's eyes and inexplicably understood her meaning: "I will prove it with my actions."
The aroma of tea still lingers in the air, and time seems to slow down and stretch out at this moment.
Shi Wan finally found her voice, soft yet clear, "I think I might need some time to think about it."
"This is a very important thing for me." She slowly organized her thoughts, stumbling at first, but becoming more and more fluent and clear.
"Because my parents have a very good relationship, I have high expectations for love, but I also have high requirements. I am not a very sociable person and I don't have many close friends, so I need to be prepared to start a relationship. This may sound a bit impolite, but I need to think it through and make sure I understand it. I will put my own preferences and interests first and I will not compromise myself."
Such words sound a bit hurtful. At least many of the male colleagues Shi Wan had encountered in her previous work would say that she was shrewd and calculating and not suitable for marriage when they heard similar comments.
But this was something she was absolutely certain of after careful consideration.
She would not compromise herself for anyone.
Her parents in heaven will surely support her.
However, Xinglin was not unhappy; on the contrary, his eyes lit up.
That's when you see the light of hope.
The fact that Shi Wan thought this way meant that she was someone worth considering for Shi Wan.
He stood up and took a step back, giving Shi Wan space, a gentle smile playing on his lips. "Of course, I'll wait no matter how long it takes."
His tone was so natural and confident, as if waiting itself was a kind of happiness.
Shi Wan looked at him, at this person who had inexplicably disrupted her life and suddenly confessed his feelings to her. Her heart was in turmoil, yet something was quietly sprouting within her.
She picked up the now-cooled jasmine tea, took a sip, and felt the bittersweet taste spread across her tongue.
Then she looked up and gave Xinglin a slightly flustered but sincere smile, "Shall we start as friends?"
Xinglin's eyes curved into crescents. "Okay, let's start as friends."
Sunlight filled the room, and the aroma of tea wafted through the air.
Shi Wan maintained her upright posture, her fingers unconsciously stroking the rim of her teacup, her thoughts still lingering on what had just happened.
friend.
The word now sounds somewhat subtle.
If she could comfortably regard Xinglin as a reliable work partner before, then after that candid revelation, redefining friendship has become complicated.
Xinglin seemed to sense her unease.
He stood up and naturally picked up the teapot. "The tea's gone cold. I'll go brew another pot."
"Ah, let me do it." Shi Wan quickly stood up and took the teapot, but her fingertips accidentally touched the back of Xing Lin's hand.
The warm touch startled her slightly, and she instinctively withdrew her hand.
Xinglin paused for a moment, then casually withdrew his finger. "Then I'll go see what ingredients are in the kitchen. I'll cook in a bit; I'm pretty good at cooking."
His tone was so natural, as if the confession had never happened.
As Shi Wan watched his retreating figure walk towards the kitchen, the tangled mess in her heart seemed to ease slightly.
Tangyuan jumped onto the coffee table and approached Shi Wan, her big eyes full of curiosity. "Wanwan, is he really going to pursue you? Like Jin Dian pursued Rou Rou?"
Shi Wan blushed at the question and poked his forehead, "Children shouldn't ask so many questions."
"Mi is not a child!" Tangyuan puffed out her chest. "Mi is the clan leader! The clan leader should care about the lifelong happiness of every clan member!"
"Where did you learn that from?" Shi Wan asked, both amused and exasperated.
"On TV!" Tangyuan said matter-of-factly, "That's what the mother in the TV series that Mi watched with you yesterday said."
Shi Wan remembered that she had indeed watched an episode of a family drama last night, but she didn't expect Tang Yuan to watch it even more attentively than she did.
She gently patted Tangyuan's head and said softly, "I'll handle this myself. Just know that Xinglin is a good person and he won't hurt us."
Tangyuan tilted her head and thought for a moment, then jumped to the ground and ran towards the kitchen.
Shi Wan followed and saw Tangyuan squatting at the kitchen door, saying to Xinglin, who was preparing ingredients, in a serious tone, "Meow!"
Xinglin turned his head, still holding a potato in his hand, "Hmm?"
“Although you don’t smell like anything,” Tangyuan said seriously, “if you dare to bully Wanwan, Mimi will show you the power of the Meow Meow Mimi Clan.”
Xinglin put down the potato, squatted down and looked at the glutinous rice ball seriously, "Then I promise you I absolutely won't."
"Then you must remember what you said." Tangyuan flicked its tail. "Also, Mimi will always be watching you."
After saying that, he turned and left, leaving Xinglin and Shiwan to exchange a smile.
“He’s very protective of you,” Xinglin said softly.
“He is my family.” Shi Wan leaned against the door frame, watching Xing Lin skillfully peel potatoes.
His fingers were long and slender, and his movements were nimble. The potato skin peeled off evenly, revealing the pale yellow inside.
Sunlight streamed in through the kitchen window, casting a warm golden glow on him.
The scene was so ordinary that Shi Wan felt a moment of disorientation, as if Xing Lin had always been there, cooking in this kitchen, living on this farm, existing right beside her.
"Do you need my help?" she asked.
"No need, you just need to rest." Xinglin looked up at her and smiled. "But if you want to chat with me, I'd be happy to."
Shi Wan hesitated for a moment, but still went into the kitchen.
She took a few tomatoes out of the refrigerator and rinsed them by the sink.
The two stood side by side in front of the kitchen counter, one chopping potatoes and the other washing tomatoes, the sounds of running water and chopping vegetables intertwining to create a warm rhythm.
"You just said your cooking skills are good, have you studied it?" Shi Wan asked tentatively, trying to find a safe topic.
"Hmm." Xinglin responded, her hands still moving. "Back then, that person—his code name was Doctor. Doctor would occasionally tell me about things outside. The new cook at home was a Manchu, and she was an excellent cook. Doctor somehow sensed my interest, so he went to pester her to teach him how to cook. After he finished learning, he came back and taught me a few home-style dishes, including stir-fried cabbage with vinegar, braised pork, shredded potatoes, and a special dish called 'Three Treasures of the Earth'."
His tone was calm, as if he were recounting a distant past that had nothing to do with him.
But Shi Wan noticed that when he talked about the past, a subtle look of nostalgia would flash in his eyes.
"What was life like back then?" Shi Wan asked softly.
Xinglin remained silent for a moment, then slowed the pace of the knife falling on the cutting board.
“It was chaotic, but also beautiful.” He finally said, “You could hear newsboys hawking their wares at any time on the street, trams clanged by, and the air was filled with the smell of coal smoke and fried dough sticks. In spring, the locust flowers in the alleys bloomed like snow, and when the wind blew, the whole street was fragrant.”
He paused, a faint smile playing on his lips. “But what impressed me most were the sounds: the shouts of vendors selling douzhi (fermented mung bean juice) in the morning, the calls of vendors selling candied hawthorns in the evening, the sound of the night watchman striking his clapper at night, and the songs coming from the record player.”
He spoke softly, as if afraid of disturbing the memories that slumber in time.
Shi Wan listened quietly, as if those black and white photographs were appearing before her eyes.
“It sounds so vibrant,” Shi Wan said softly.
“Yes, vibrant.” Xing Lin repeated the word, her eyes somewhat distant. “Back then, I felt lost, not knowing when the doctor would leave and I would die. I just lived one day at a time. But later I realized that those days weren’t actually that hard to endure. At least I was still alive then.”
The kitchen fell silent, with only the sounds of chopping vegetables and running water remaining.
Shi Wan placed the washed tomatoes on the cutting board and watched as Xing Lin skillfully cut the potatoes into even, thin strips.
His knife skills are excellent; every cut is steady and precise, clearly the result of long-term practice.
“You seem to be very good at these things,” Shi Wan said.
Xing Lin smiled. "Time is the least valuable thing in the system. I've learned a lot of things: cooking, carpentry, gardening, and even tailoring. Sometimes it was to complete tasks, and sometimes it was just to remind myself that I was once a person."
These words were spoken calmly, but Shi Wan felt a slight pang in her heart.
She recalled Xinglin's earlier words about numbness, and how he gradually lost his sense of being human over the long years, and then gradually regained it.
"And now?" she asked. "Do you consider yourself a human being now?"
Xinglin stopped what he was doing and turned to look at her. The afternoon sunlight reflected off his eyes, creating shimmering fragments of light that were so gentle they were breathtaking.
“When I’m in your presence,” he said softly, “I feel like I am.”
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