Hearing the profanities and insults coming from behind her, Zhou Chunhua slammed the door shut.
Kata, lock.
He turned around, rolled up his sleeves, and slapped Zhang Xiaonuan hard across the face.
Zhang Xiaonuan, with her hair disheveled, seemed not to have reacted yet, and stood blankly on the hospital bed, staring at her.
After a long pause, he finally opened his mouth: "You...hit me?"
"Or, shall I double-check for you?" she said, raising her hand.
Coming to her senses, Zhang Xiaonuan covered her face tightly with both hands.
Zhou Chunhua put her hand down and sat on the edge of the bed.
"Look how much your body loves you!"
Zhang Xiaonuan looked blankly at her, clearly not understanding what she was saying.
Zhou Chunhua took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled.
Did you know that every person has 1 to 5 cells that become cancerous every year? But even among these more than 1,000 cancerous changes each year, the other cells in your body work hard to kill them.
Even when the body is on the verge of death, the brain will issue a final instruction to allocate 5% of the body's adrenaline to the nervous and vocal cord systems.
This allows you time to reunite with your loved ones one last time. At the same time, the brain sends signals to all organs to thank them for their years of dedicated cooperation.
What your body is actually trying to tell you is that you are not alone. Because within your body, hundreds of thousands of cells are constantly working for you.
You need to understand that thousands upon thousands of cells in your body are with you; you are the guardian angel of your body! They love you so devotedly, shouldn't you also think about them! Think about yourself!
Zhang Xiaonuan stared blankly at her, her eyes already wet with tears.
She reached out and wiped Zhang Xiaonuan's eyes.
This child is so starved for love.
From childhood to adulthood, she was like a growing doll in Wu Jing's hands.
He was under Wu Jing's control at all times.
But she's a human being! A person with independent thought!
Love, once it becomes a burden, transforms into a deadly weapon capable of killing invisibly.
Or perhaps, Wu Jing never loved Zhang Xiaonuan, but rather herself.
“I know I haven’t experienced what you have, so I’m not qualified to say I understand you. But I am also a mother, just like you, with a lovely daughter who loves you even more than you do.”
How could you bear to leave her behind and go first? Aren't you afraid that all the hardships and suffering you endured will be repeated on her?
Zhang Xiaonuan, from the moment you became a mother, you were no longer alone! Your decision will not only affect you, but also your child!
Whether for your own sake or for your child's, you must live well. Only by living can you have the chance to change the mistakes of the past. Only by living can you prevent your daughter from following the same path as you.
Do you understand? Stay alive! Staying alive is more important than anything else!
She pulled Zhang Xiaonuan into her arms.
The moment their bodies touched, Zhang Xiaonuan burst into tears.
"But it's so hard, life is so hard. I can't take it anymore, I really can't take it anymore. Why is she doing this to me? Why does she want me to live the way she wants me to?"
For so many years, because of her vanity, I've pushed myself to the brink of death time and time again. Why? Why can't she give me a chance to breathe!
As the crying grew louder, it revealed Zhang Xiaonuan's dissatisfaction with Wu Jing and her regret for her own life.
She talked a lot. From the time she was three or four years old, when she could remember, Wu Jing had enrolled her in many extracurricular classes.
She often leaves home at seven in the morning and returns at seven in the evening, rushing to finish piano lessons, painting, dance, and then English lessons...
Seven days a week, thirty days a month, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, she was driven around by Wu Jing with a wooden stick, never able to stop for a moment.
She said she had told Wu Jing that she wanted to rest and do something she wanted to do, but Wu Jing never listened.
Wu Jing's most frequent saying is, "It's for her own good."
But she is not well at all.
From junior high school onwards, she lived in constant conflict.
She clearly had her strengths, but she was terrible at studying. Yet, Wu Jing only cared about grades. She couldn't see her talents or strengths at all. Every day, she was like a duck being force-fed, grabbing her by the neck and desperately cramming food into her stomach.
That suffocating feeling, even after ten or twenty years, remains a nightmare she can't shake off...
Zhou Chunhua listened quietly, letting Zhang Xiaonuan's tears soak her shoulders.
She only got up to pour Zhang Xiaonuan a glass of water after Zhang Xiaonuan had cried so hard that she had no more tears left.
“Go back, take your daughter with you, and get up from where you fell. Set an example for your daughter, treat her as you were once, and raise her well.”
Zhang Xiaonuan cried, but then she laughed.
His laughter was tinged with sadness and helplessness.
"It's impossible. I... I'm addicted to drugs. I have no future." Zhang Xiaonuan trembled all over.
"You can do it!" She sat back down, meeting Zhang Xiaonuan's gaze firmly. "Believe in yourself, you can definitely do it."
“I…I’ve tried.” Zhang Xiaonuan shook her head: “It’s impossible. I don’t want Lulu to see me in my poisoned state again. I don’t want her to see me doing anything for money.”
But I really love her and can't bear to send her to a welfare institution, so I think that if I die, she might be able to be raised by a better family.
She will have responsible adoptive parents and a better future than if she stayed with me.
Seeing Zhang Xiaonuan struggling and crying amidst her inner turmoil, Zhou Chunhua gently stroked Zhang Xiaonuan's hair.
"Haven't you realized that you've become the very person you hate the most?"
Zhang Xiaonuan suddenly looked up at her, her eyes bloodshot and dark circles contrasting with her lips covered in scabs, making her look sickly and heartbreaking.
"You want to send her away, but have you asked her? Is she willing? Is the better future you envision really the future your daughter wants?"
How can you be sure that when she grows up, she won't curse you, hate you, or resent you like you do today? Besides, why don't you consider that if you die, Lulu might be sent back to your parents? If she is sent back, won't she become another version of you?
Zhang Xiaonuan stood there, stunned.
The tears in her eyes slowly faded.
She knew that Zhang Xiaonuan would come to her senses.
She shook Zhang Xiaonuan's hand, then got up and opened the door to the ward.
Little Lulu, clutching her old rag doll, rushed to Zhang Xiaonuan's side, calling out "Mommy!"
The next second, Zhang Xiaonuan picked up her daughter and burst into tears.
Little Lulu, however, acted like a little adult, patting Zhang Xiaonuan's back and whispering, "Mommy, don't cry. Nuannuan won't make Mommy angry. Nuannuan will try to grow up quickly. When Nuannuan grows up, Mommy will be able to earn lots and lots of money for Grandma."
Then, Mom won't have to work so hard like she does now. Mom, you're not alone; you still have me, and you still have Nuannuan.
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